The Marauders Sixth Year
by 627283377
Summary: Every person has their own story, whether it may be filled with heroism or cowardice, good or bad. The Marauders certainly had their story to share, either as four individuals or one large group. Their story was easily overlooked, passed by without a second glance because to the world, they were nothing more than just boys. However, they were determined to prove the world wrong.
1. Not into Temptation

**All rights remain.  
I own Augustine Censorious.  
**

 **Actual warning: Mentions of intercourse and drug use.**

* * *

 _Remus,_

 _My family moved again; I am going to warn you. We are in a sketchy neighborhood and I completely understand if you change your mind about coming over for break._ _If you haven't, which would surprise me, I wrote the address on the back of this note._ _In your previous note (that I have right next to me) you said you would be coming round ten in the morning on July 9th. That sounds great!_

 _Peter Pettigrew._

Remus stared at the note a rented owl, evidently named Norman, gave then raised his gaze a little further to stare at his calendar. His pin said it was July 3rd, which gave Remus enough time to write a letter back. He knew he had the enchanted parchment given to him by James as a gift, but he wanted to preserve the privacy of their conversation for Peter's sake.

He opened up his desk drawer and pulled out his stack of parchment, his ink bottle, and his quill. He checked the tip of his quill, picking off the dried ink from the last time he used it and swirled around the ink in the bottle with the quill. He tapped the ink bottle after stirring it and began writing his response.

 _Peter,_

 _I still have every intention of coming over though I hope you haven't changed_ ** _your_** _mind. I will be over at the time and date I said before so count on seeing me there!_

 _Remus Lupin_

It was not a particularly long letter but he quickly folded it and sealed it shut with a stamp. Instead of using the rented owl, he called over his own; Ohanzee fluttered over to Remus and stuck his leg out. Remus tied the note against the leg and held out his forearm for his owl. Ohanzee hopped up and rustled his wings as Remus walked him over to the window. With one swoop, Ohanzee was off.

"Okay," Remus said as he walked back over to his desk. "Norman, you can go back to wherever you came from. Here."

He paid the owl with food and water and tipped with an owl treat. Norman hooted gratefully and fluttered off, lifting from the desk and out the window. Remus kept his window open, loving the smell of the summer breeze brushing into his room. The breeze knocked over a few pictures taped onto his mirror; Remus grumbled in exasperation and went to pick them up. When he straightened, he was greeted by his reflection.

He stared at himself for a while. In his hand was a picture of him and his friends in their first year. How his face changed over the years. Remus's face thinned considerably and grew longer. His sandy blonde hair remained shaggy, that never changed. His body grew tall and leaner, but he still remained lanky; he, James, and Sirius were all around 5'11-6'1, save for Peter, who was 5'5. Height never bothered him but now that he was picking out little things about himself, Remus realized just _how_ tall he was. Remus guessed he never noticed since James and Sirius were tall.

Not only was his physical appearance different but his personality seemed to have changed, too. He had grown from quiet and shy to witty and open. In fact, he was just as extroverted as Sirius and James. It surprised him that he outpaced Peter in that sort. Something about fifth year had really seemed to change him but he could not pinpoint what exactly it was.

* * *

On July 9th, Remus, at 10:00 AM, was at Peter's doorstep with his things. If there was one thing Peter was right about, it was the sketchiness of the neighborhood but his friend _did_ warn him about it and Remus still agreed to come.

The door swung open about five seconds later to reveal Peter wearing muggle clothes. He wore a simple flannel over a plain white shirt with jeans. Remus, James, and Sirius introduced Peter to flannels two years back and the boy fell in love with them. Remus often wore them, too, but today he wore a simple black shirt with long sleeves and slim fitting khaki pants with plain black shoes.

"My parents are out," Peter said, carding his fingers through his hair. "Come in. I'll get that."

Peter hurried around Remus and grabbed his trunk for his friend as Remus stepped into the little house. It was more than run-down; it was dirty and gross but it was still the home of his friend, which made it feel comfortable. The exterior of the little white house did not belie what was inside, however. The lot was small, seeing as Peter had barely a backyard.

The kitchen, living room, and dining room were all connected. Off the main area were three bedrooms and two bathrooms. Peter led Remus down the narrow hallway with peeling off wallpaper and pushed open the door to a bedroom. To Remus's genuine surprise, this room was not as bad as he thought. It was most likely the cleanest room but the guest bed looked comfortable and the drapes looked freshly washed. The dust and cobwebs were brushed off the ceiling, giving this room a particular glow.

"This is perfect," Remus insisted and threw a smile over his shoulder.

"That's a relief," Peter said earnestly and pointed to the small door right across from the bed. "You have your own bathroom right off the room."

Remus nodded then turned around to face Peter completely. "Where is your room?"

Peter, after setting Remus's trunk at the foot of the bed, led Remus down the hall to the last bedroom on the right side. Peter paused for a moment before opening the door and turning on the lights. Remus's prediction was correct; the guest bedroom was the cleanest room of the house, most likely cleaner than the kitchen. Peter's room was quite something.

There was a mattress on the ground that served as his bed. The wooden floor was dusty and the one small rug in his room was originally supposed to blue blue. Now it was gray and brown from the dirt and dust trapped in the fabric. There was no desk in Peter's room, it simply would not fit, and the drapes were shredded and torn. At least there were no cobwebs hanging from the ceiling. However, there was a particularly strong odor that reminded Remus of that attic smell.

"I know," Peter said quietly, walking over his mattress with his dirty shoes. "It's disgusting."

He went for the single window in the room and opened it as far as it would go. The instant breeze blew around the dust but it alleviated the unpleasant smell, making Remus breathe in deeply.

"It's not bad," Remus said truthfully and walked over to Peter by the window. "I have been in places _way_ worse than this."

Remus could feel relief and anxiety coming off his friend in waves, which confused him at first. But the natural carer of the group kicked in and Remus put a hand on Peter's shoulder.

"When are your parents going to be home?" he asked instead to get Peter's mind off whatever he was thinking.

"Soon probably," Peter said and frowned a little. "I'll introduce you to them but fair warning, we should probably vacate the house when they come back. Especially if my dad is under the influence at this time of day."

Remus did not question and that was the one great thing about the sixteen year old. Remus never questioned when the time was inappropriate. He merely went with it ever so casually, which made everything easier.

"Do you want something to eat?" Peter asked, breaking the silence. "Or do you want to wait and we can go out somewhere to eat?"

"I'm okay with waiting," Remus said and stepped away from the window. "What do you want to do in the meantime?"

"That's entirely up to you," Peter said, following Remus. "There isn't much to do in this house but there's loads to do outside. I have a pretty great neighbor; his name's Auggie. Well, his real name is Augustine Censorious, but he goes by Auggie. I've been talking about you to him from time to time. Maybe we can meet up with him later."

Remus nodded in encouragement. That was one thing he noticed about himself. He loved meeting strangers, new people. It surprised him at first because he was supposedly an introvert. But when he realized he liked going out and meeting strangers, he realized he was not exactly an introvert anymore.

.oOo.

The day was spent roaming around the rundown local town around Peter's home. It was a great way to pass the time. The town was relatively large; they had barely explored a sixth of the city in four hours. They came home at around 7:00 after they ate dinner at a nice little cafe they spotted and were currently sitting in the guest bedroom, talking about whatever came to mind.

"What do you think of here?" Peter asked curiously, picking out a piece of chocolate from the bag. "Do you like it so far?"

"Course I do," Remus said, plucking a piece of chocolate for himself. "It's great; I wouldn't mind living here."

Peter chuckled and savored the sweet taste on his tongue. He was about to say something else when headlights from a car shined brightly through Remus's window. The two of them crawled over the bed to stare out the window; a car had pulled into the driveway. Moments later, car doors slammed shut and voices filled the silent night air. Remus stole a glance at his friend, who had turned stoic.

"Stick close to me," Peter said, his demeanor changing completely.

Remus had seen Peter in several different levels of different. The boy could hold his liquor pretty well so seeing him drunk was kind of hard. Remus had seen Peter sad, angry, happy, and neutral, but something about right now made this different.

"Right," Remus said and subtly sniffed the air. It reeked of alcohol as soon as the door burst open.

Peter stiffened considerably. Apparently one did not need an enhanced sense of smell to catch the whiff of alcohol lingering in the room. Perhaps Peter's nose was trained or perhaps his Animagus form helped him, Remus was going with the former rather than the latter. The voices were no longer muffled; they were audible and Remus winced at every word.

"Is he here yet?" Peter's father bellowed.

The sound of heavy and staggering footsteps echoed throughout the room until the door to the guest bedroom flung open. Peter instantly tensed and straightened up like he was shielding Remus from his father's drunken gaze.

"Yes, Father," Peter said carefully. "He is here."

"Hello, Mr. Pettigrew," Remus said politely, averting his gaze to look submissive.

Mr. Pettigrew lifted the bottle to his lips and pointed at Peter, stumbling over to his son and grabbing Peter by the collar of his shirt. "Tell your whore of a mother to stop wearing such disgusting dresses. She won't listen to a damn word I say."

Remus clamped his mouth shut at that and forced himself to remain still. His eyes dared to look up at Peter, who was glaring back at his father. Peter pushed his father's hands off his shirt and backed away, standing up on the bed. Unfortunately, the curse of being short made him that much less intimidating. His father was tall and even though Peter stood upon the bed, he and his father were at eye level.

Mrs. Pettigrew, the sweet one of the family, came in and glared at her husband. "Leave them alone!"

Mr. Pettigrew whipped around and bared his teeth at her. Perhaps if he were not so intoxicated, he would not have lashed out like that in public, especially with a guest, but his drunken mind could not catch up. Mr. Pettigrew seized his wife by the arm and pushed her against the wall. His wife was much shorter than him, probably standing at 5'6. Mr. Pettigrew towered over his wife.

"Stay out of this," he snarled.

Peter instantly leaped off the bed without sparing Remus a glance and launched himself at his father, stepping in front of his mother and prying them apart. Remus stood up, too, just in case someone got hurt. Remus was a natural healer, not fighter. However, when Mr. Pettigrew sent a fist to Peter's face, Remus's instincts kicked in as he rushed over to his friend.

Peter was on the floor, dazed by the blow. Remus got on his knees and instantly pressed his handkerchief, the one Lily sewed him, and pressed it against Peter's bleeding nose. He managed to not flinch at the wail Mrs. Pettigrew let out or the smack and whimper that followed. He kept his gaze locked firmly on feeling Peter's broken nose, debating on whether to reset it here or elsewhere.

Whatever he was going to decide never happened for Mr. Pettigrew seized Remus by the arm and jerked him to his feet. Remus dug his heels into the ground and stood firm. He was the only one as tall as Mr. Pettigrew but it was never really about height; it was about bulkiness, which Remus had none of (often referred to as a talking fish bone). Mr. Pettigrew's reeked of Jameson (do not ask Remus how he could distinguish exactly what kind of alcohol smelled like), which made him flinch away.

"Please, Mr. Pettigrew," Remus began.

But something cold and solid smacked him hard in the eye. The blow left him crumpling to the ground; he could vaguely hear the sound of shattering glass. His face broke the bottle of Jameson Whiskey and sent its contents spilling onto the floor. Remus was not even in a state of shock when he was attacked, seeing as Mr. Pettigrew attacked his family with no warranted reason, what made Remus any different?

He and Peter talked about this over the long train ride home. Peter warned his father would most likely abuse him, too, but Remus stubbornly insisted he was going to alleviate Peter's stress from his home life even if it killed him. So, this really was not unexpected, but it still hurt.

Peter rose to his feet as soon as his mother fled and seized Remus by the wrist, dragging him out of the way. Mr. Pettigrew was close to passing out, which allowed them to make their quick escape. With the door blocked, Peter and Remus turned to the window. Without a moment's hesitation, the two launched themselves at it and clambered through it.

Mr. Pettigrew seized Peter's ankle as he tried climbing out but Remus pried the hand off and shoved Peter hard through the window. Once he was out, Remus threw himself out and landed on the soft grass beneath. Mr. Pettigrew bellowed like a predator who just lost its prey as the two boys scrambled away from the house. Remus stared at the light in the house and the shadow of Mr. Pettigrew before turning away.

"Are you okay?" Remus asked, looking at Peter's crooked nose.

"Fine, fine," Peter said and shook his head. "I'll go back in there tonight and get your stuff. What the hell were we thinking, Moony? You don't belong here. I can't make you go through this."

Remus turned sharply and seized Peter by the shoulders. "Don't say that. I came here for you, not me. I don't want to hear you talking like that, okay? I knew what I was getting myself into."

Peter looked away.

"Look," Remus said, softening his tone. "Your my best mate. I'd do anything for you."

Peter heaved a sigh so Remus changed the subject.

"Do you want to meet up with Augustine now?" he asked.

Peter perked up because he truly hung on to every word Remus said; he did not want to ruin the entire night by sulking so he bucked up and nodded, heading down the street in the opposite direction of where they went last time. About a block down and three houses in, Peter stopped and hurried up the cement stairs and on to the porch of a little pale brick home.

It was a nicer home than Peter's on the outside but Remus knew not to judge for he did not know what went beyond closed doors. Peter knocked twice and waited for about three seconds before it swung open. Remus looked at Augustine up and down with genuine surprise. He did not expect the other to look like what he did. He had pale skin, a thin face, pale blue-gray eyes, and dark hair, styled. He wore a white shirt underneath a black blazer, tight black pants, and black combat boots.

"Oh, is this Remus?" Augustine asked, eyes bright.

"This is who you've been wanting to meet," Peter said and tilted his head to his friend.

But this was not a first time meet and greet; Remus _knew_ this person before. He met Augustine Censorious before though where he could not remember. Augustine broke out into a huge grin.

"I haven't seen you since last summer," Augustine said, holding the door open wider. "Come in."

Summer. That was where Remus met Augustine; memories came rushing back about the other. Remus remembered Augustine to be a bit reckless, much like Sirius, but prone to do way worse things. Remus, last summer, had quite a turn. Since Caden was never home, he would often roam the streets, looking for something to do. That was when he met Augustine Censorious. Augustine, or Auggie, was leaning against the brick wall; striking up a conversation, Remus and Augustine quickly bonded over the summer.

That summer, Remus had that rebellious streak (or a faint one). He would not abide to the curfew and he would occasionally smoke a pack of cigarettes with Augustine or share a bottle with him. That was about the extent Remus went in his rebellious streak but seeing Augustine again reawakened something he swore he buried deep.

"Who's here, Auggie?" came a new voice.

A girl stepped into view; now she was someone Remus did not recognize. She had long hair that was brown on top then gold at the tips. She had a cigarette dangling in between her fingers, which were decked in rings. She wore her hair down but what she wore was hard to not look at. This girl wore a thin back shirt that cropped right above her jeans. Peaking out from beneath her shirt were colorful swirls of tattoos. Her skin tight black pants were anything but modest and she wore combat boots like Augustine.

Remus averted his gaze to her face and found himself feeling a bit warm. Her eyes were dark, her eyebrows dramatic, her makeup was dark but still beautiful. She lifted an eyebrow and looked at Remus up and down. Judging from her smile, Remus guessed she approved. She walked up to Remus and put a hand on his chest. Her head came up to his shoulder but the height difference only made her more cheeky.

Her fingers teased the collar of his shirt; Remus felt the smoke and heat of the cigarette by his neck, which made him uncomfortable. He kept his hands modest but one traveled down her arm and plucked the cigarette from her hand.

"Good to see you again, Remus," Augustine said and closed the door. "This is Zephyr. She's a friend."

Zephyr flicked an eyebrow but Remus stuck the cigarette in his mouth and took a long drag, blowing it out. She smirked, however, and tapped his knuckles on his chest, eyes glittering.

"Darling, that's not a cigarette," she said sweetly.

She whipped around, hair hitting him, and walked away, hips swinging. Remus looked at joint then followed her to the couch. She held out her hand and waited (and expected) for Remus to return the joint. Of course, he did and walked over to Augustine.

"We've got the house alone," Augustine said and held out a small bag of white powder. "But we're going out tonight. Are you two in?"

Remus wanted to say no and he was probably about to but Augustine held up a hand and draped his arm around Remus's shoulders. He stuck the bag back in his pocket and leaned into Remus.

"Course you are," he said and turned to Peter, who nodded casually. "Great!"

And that was how Remus found himself walking with his old friend, Augustine, his familiar friend, Peter, and this new girl, Zephyr to a new stranger's home. Remus did not hate parties, that was impossible being friends with James and Sirius, but he usually sat in the corner, sipping on water instead. But tonight, something felt different and Remus felt that sudden streak hit him hard. His nervousness turned into excitement.

The house they stopped at was a bit isolated from the rest of the houses but he could see it was lit up even from the outside. Remus did not think twice about entering after Augustine. The house was not too crowded but there was enough people to make the party feel comfortable. Remus was tense again at first as Augustine moved around and introduced him to people but he began loosening up.

Peter was already holding a glass of beer in his hands, talking to someone he met. Augustine orbited around Peter and Remus found himself with Zephyr. She and he walked around to scope out what was going on. In the living room, most people were talking and drinking whatever. In the backyard, people were dancing and drinking and talking. On the porch, there was a small group of people in a circle.

Zephyr led Remus over to them; he would have never gone over there if he were alone, but Zephyr had him by the wrist. She whistled high and waved as she seated herself with the group, Remus at her side.

"Who'd you bring?" a bloke asked.

"Holden, this is Remus," Zephyr said and pointed to Remus, raising his arm by his wrist. "He's here to try new things."

"I am?" Remus echoed, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes," Zephyr said and pulled out a huge roll of British pounds. She waved it in his face and slapped it into another bloke's hands. "It's on me."

Whoever she handed the money to must have been her supplier. "Smalls" was his name but his real name was Taurent. Taurent was surprisingly very down-to-earth and not uptight like Remus would have expected.

"Okay, Smalls, give him the good stuff. I paid big so don't rip me off," Zephyr said and helped herself.

"Can you snort?" Taurent grunted, pointing at Remus. "Can you roll?"

Remus nodded; Taurent handed him a pipe and held out a lighter. Remus was surprised at his audacity but he held up his hand and pulled out his own lighter, pouring the white crystals into the pipe and lighting it. Remus took a deep drag, instantly feeling the effects; he passed on the pipe, done. The meth pipe went around the circle and when it came back to Remus, he firmly declined. He still had _some_ good judgement.

"No?" Taurent said then frowned. "More for us. Do you want another hit?"

Remus shrugged, forgetting that his nice way of saying "No" was probably too subtle for them. And he was right; Augustine leaped over to the group and pulled out the bag of white powder. He spread it on the table then used a little blade to separate the powder. Zephyr, after passing the pipe around again, handed him a note to which he rolled up. He took the blade and readjusted before leaning in and snorting a small line.

It wasn't enough to get him too high but for about ten seconds, he was on cloud nine. When he came down, he felt a pang of guilt; however, the atmosphere he was in made it easy for him to quell it.

"Come here," Zephyr slurred and grabbed Remus's wrist, dragging him into the backyard.

He blinked blearily as he knit his eyebrows. She climbed up onto the table and pulled off her black top. She had a white sleeveless shirt underneath but she swung her times to the time of the music. She earned several cheers as she flipped her hair about, lifting her glass of beer in the air as she gyrated her hips and crouched down to the balls of her feet, holding her hand for Remus.

Remus rolled his eyes, body still dazed and buzzed from even the tiny amount of drugs he did back there. He climbed on to the table and kind of stood there as she used him like a pole. She removed her pants, leaving her in shorts. Remus wondered why she wore two layers of clothes but he could not fathom that much for she was sticking her pale white leg in between his.

Her hand went to her hair, mussing it purposely, as she smiled suggestively at him. Remus remained rigid but his foot moved apart from one another, allowing her access to dance. Zephyr drained her beer then tossed the cup aside, freeing her hands and putting them on either side of his torso, right beneath his ribs. She began undulating against him, grinding him hard. Remus remained modest and did not touch her and often averted his gaze.

"Do something," Zephyr tempted, grinding on his thigh. "We know you want to."

She put an arm around his neck and flung her head back, revealing the glossy arch of her pale neck. Remus was going to Hell. But he did not advertise her like that; he had too much human respect to do so. She looked back at him and pressed her body close to his, undulating her entire torso against his, rocking her hips against his as she tried to get some kind of reaction out of him.

The crowd watching cheered on, waving their hands. The music seemed louder to Remus's ears as his body responded like any body would; heat was radiating off him so he pushed his sleeves up to his elbows and took a step back to get some space in between them. Zephyr took that as a sign to back off so she sighed and pushed him away until he clambered off the table.

"Sorry," he murmured and walked off.

Zephyr was quickly grinding on someone else soon enough so Remus retired to the more quiet parts of the party. He had a cup of water in his hands, doing a complete 180 degree spin and taking it easy and remaining modest. He observed rather than talked until someone came to join him; Peter and Augustine walked over to him and stood beside him.

"Tired?" Peter asked quietly. "I saw what she was doing."

"Yeah," Remus said then did not reply to the second part. "So, what have you been doing?"

"Oh, I don't know, not much," Peter said calmly and nodded at him then at the circle of people. "Since when do you do that?"

"I don't," Remus said quickly and understood Peter's sudden reservation. "Bygod, no. It was one time and I hardly had any."

"It's true, Peter," Augustine cut in and put a hand on Peter's shoulder. "He only one drag from the pipe and not enough to get any kind of high from cocaine. He's okay, Peter. He's a good bloke."

Remus blinked gratefully at Augustine's words; it made him feel good about himself because at the moment, he was feeling a lot of guilt crushing down on him. That seemed to ease Peter's mind as he loosened up considerably after that. His morality was repairing itself but his body was sexually frustrated and a tiny part of him wished he would have taken up on Zephyr's offer.

"Want to head back to my place?" Augustine asked, raising an eyebrow. "I think we're both ready to head back."

Remus looked over at Augustine in surprise. He was never one to leave a party early but since he offered, he nodded at once. Augustine smiled and went over to Zephyr, explaining their new plan. She nodded without argument and put her pants over her shorts and her shirt back on. She flicked her hair over her shoulder and walked right up to Remus boldly.

"Hey, no hard feelings, right?" she asked, looking at him. "I didn't mean to get you uncomfortable."

"Oh," Remus said, taken by surprise. "No, I'm okay. That didn't bother me."

It was the state she left him in that bothered him but he would rather keep that to himself. Along the way, they picked up two other girls, willing to just hang around Augustine's home. The little party left and went back to Augustine's place, winding down with fruit punch and gathering around on the couch and chairs. Remus still migrated over to Zephyr, sticking close to her.

Perhaps tonight was the night; perhaps he would finally be able to understand what Sirius always bragged about. He never did find any interest in intercourse but he never denied wanting it either and after listening to Sirius go on about it, made him the littlest bit curious. Zephyr seemed to read his mind right off the bat and put a hand on his knee.

"Is there something you want to talk about?" she asked.

"Third door on your left," Augustine said knowingly, flashing Remus a grin.

Zephyr rolled her eyes, seemingly tame now, and led Remus to the room, closing the door behind her. She pulled out the remaining cigarettes she had and a lighter. She sat on the bed and nodded to Remus.

"Do you want one?" she asked.

"Please," Remus said and accepted it from her, lighting it with the lighter before exhaling.

"So," Zephyr said, taking a drag, "what's on your mind?"

Remus tapped the ashes and took his own drag. "I dunno."

Zephyr rolled her eyes and disposed of her barely used cigarette, climbing into Remus's lap and straddling him. Remus leaned back a little, ridding himself of the cigarette he only took two drags on. What a waste.

"This is what you wanted," Zephyr said and smiled gently. "Respectful...mutual...understanding...yeah?"

Remus sighed and nodded, unsure of himself now. Is this what Sirius talked about _his_ first time? Probably not but Remus was not as brave or bold as Sirius and he came to reason a long while ago. He had her consent but could he?

"We'll be mature about this," Zephyr promised and put her arms around his neck. "You have my complete consent, respect, and all else, okay?"

To say the least, Remus's first time was not quite what he was expecting, seeing as he would never have imagined doing so with a stranger but at least it was morally okay between the two.

This was some way to start the sixth year.

* * *

 **So, if you are wondering why Remus is aberrant, it is the whole theme of temptation.**


	2. You Tell Me

**All rights remain.**

Sirius sat in his bedroom, looking out the window. He had a very productive day in his opinion and deserved a moment of fest to admire his handiwork. His room, which was once green and silver, was now decked out with red and gold. Sirius did not stop there, however. His ideas sparked his imagination and he began working on a new project.

He gathered as many muggle magazines he could get his hands on and started cutting out the pictures he deemed worthy enough to slap on his wall. Often, those pictures consisted of bikini clad girls in different and rather exotic poses. That or motorcycles. He smacked those posters up and covered the walls with them.

When he was done, he sat back to admire it. His room felt personal, something that had never been a thing he experienced. This was always his parents' room, his parents' house, his parents' life. Now that he was finished, he circled his room, pacing about like a lion in a pen.

His thoughts were interrupted when he heard thunderous footsteps down the hall. Frozen, Sirius listened carefully for it sounded like those footsteps were not meant for him. He pressed his ear to the door and listened hard.

"I told you, Regulus might be gone by then," his mother hissed. "We are encouraging this, are we not?"

"No, Walburga, we are," Orion said and he paused, though Sirius did not know what else he was doing. "It is just that he is young. Why so early?"

"He is getting an opportunity, one _we_ never got!" Walburga hissed, slamming her hand flag against the wall. "Orion, this is his future. This is what he wants. His Dark Mark proves it."

"No, it's not," Sirius whispered to the door. "You brainwashed him into believing this is what he wants."

Sirius looked at the wood, memorising it's swirls and patterns in the dark oak. He held his breath and closed his eyes. Regulus? As a Death Eater? There was nothing more sickening to Sirius than hearing what his brother was going to do to himself. It was like a cult and his parents were thrusting their fifteen year old son into the heart of it.

~FLASHBACK~

Sirius listened to the calming breeze that whistled softly through the tall grass. His fingers trailed the wheat as he sat upon a high boulder, jutting out and above the ground. His long hair, which just brushed his shoulders, swayed with the breeze. It was music to his ears.

"Sirius?" came a new voice. "He wants to go play by the tree over there."

"Couldn't you just tell him no, Belle?" Sirius asked, turning around.

There she was, in all of her glory, Bellatrix Black (or more commonly known as Bellatrix Lestrange). Most people called her Bella but Sirius was different. To him, Bella was different, an older sister to him. To him, she was more than a common Bella, she was a Belle—a French word for divinity and beauty.

"Come on, Sirius," Bella said and plucked at Sirius's arm. "It'll be worth the walk, I promise. Once you get a taste of those apples, you'll be thanking me on knees."

Sirius rolled his eyes albeit fondly and got up to follow his cousin and younger brother. The walk was mostly silent but that was how Sirius preferred it. It was a comfortable silence where the three of them could just enjoy themselves being kids. Bellatrix and Regulus brought him to the tree where there were apples hanging off the branches. Sirius smiled a little at that.

"Come up," Regulus said and started climbing up by hoisting himself up on the lowest branch. "Up here."

Bellatrix laughed softly and made her way up the branch. She was taking her time when she heard a fifth voice add itself into the mix. Narcissa Black. Now Narcissa was something different back then but she was the kind of girl who hated getting her hands dirty—or in more aristocratic terms—her dress dirty. So when they all heard Narcissa's whiny voice, they bolted up the tree and hid amongst its bushy leaves.

Bellatrix was the closest one to the ground, her feet barely out of sight. Narcissa stomped over to the tree and frowned as she looked around. She flipped her blonde hair out of her face and looked agitated as she found no one in her line of sight.

"Bella? Reg?" Narcissa called out, stamping her foot. "If this is one of your prctical jokes, I find very little humor in it!"

Sirius, Bellatrix, and Regulus snorted with laughter, stifling the noise with a sleeve in their mouth. Narcissa looked up and seemed to be staring right at them. However, from her perspective, she could not see who was up there.

Instead, she huffed and gave up, storming away from the tree. All three of them fell back in relief as she walked away. They broke out into a fit of laughter, sides cramping from the amount of muscle use.

"Try one," Bellatrix said after catching her breath.

She plucked an apple from a branch, rubbed it on her shoulder, and handed it to Sirius. He smiled in gratitude and took a bite. She was right; the fruit burst with sweet flavor and sang on his tongue. It was one of the best apples he had ever tasted.

"Told you," Bellatrix said when she saw his expression. "Do I ever lie to you?"

"You best not ever," Sirius said seriously and pointed an accusing finger at her. "We don't lie to each other. We look out for ech other. The three of us do."

"Promise?" Regulus asked, taking a bite from his own apple.

"Promise," Bellatrix said and took her own piece of fruit. She held it up.

"Promise," Sirius said.

The three of them toasted with their apples, each with a single bite mark in it, and sat back in the branches, resting comfortably in the tree and enjoying one another's company. They sat up there for hours eating apples and talking about whatever came to mind.

"Have you ever wanted a dog?" Bellatrix asked, looking thoughtful.

"Yes," both Sirius and Regulus said together.

"Not me. I always wanted a Bengal Tiger cub," she said and smiled as she daydreamed about that. "How cool would that be?"

"Very," they chorused.

"That would make me ever so happy," Bellatrix said and closed his eyes for a moment. "Hey, have you seen Andromeda anywhere lately? She hasn't been with Cissy or me this entire week."

"Andromeda has been by herself lately," Sirius said quietly. "She looks lonely. Mum said getting her included with our talks would do her some good."

Walburga was anything but good; in fact, Sirius had always been suspicious that his parents were trying to brainwash him and Regulus into believing some of the nonsense that had been spouting. It made him uneasy but his mind never once wavered.

"She shows no interest," Bellatrix pointed out. "Why involve her into something she's not interested in?"

"Belle, what do you think of my mother?" Sirius inquired softly, looking at the red fruit. His eyebrows were drawn as he looked slightly troubled.

"What do you mean, hm?" Bellatrix asked, turning her head to the side to look at him. "Are we talking about...what she does or says or what she believes in?"

"All of the above," Sirius said and blinked back at her. "What do you think of her maybe in general?"

Bellatrix looked like she really was contemplating this one. Bellatrix swallowed another bite of apple before answering.

"Maybe it's her strong faith in what she believes in that I admire? Her determination and loyalty toit really is admirable even if it is or is not the right thing, you know?" Bellatrix settled on saying, trying her best to explain it.

No, Sirius never thought of it that way. He was more focused on what the issues his mother was supporting rather than the devotion she put into it. No matter how reluctant he was to admit it, he was downright impressed at the extent his mother did to support her ideals.

Sirius had never seen anyone so dedicated.

~Present~

Sirius had never seen anyone so dedicated.

And then he thought of Bellatrix Lestrange.

She went from innocent, to impressionable, to what she became now. Sirius hated the way his parents and his family in general could manipulate the minds of people and make them believe that this subtle, new, form of terrorism could be warranted.

"It's okay, Orion. He knows what he did," Walburga hissed and sounds like footsteps and grunts echoed throughout the barren halls.

Sirius pulled back from the door in haste and launched himself across the room, pretending like he was sitting on bed and reading. Not moments later, his bedroom door swung open to reveal his two parents staring back at him.

"I hope you weren't talking about me," Sirius said under his breath. "I would hate for you to think I am _ever_ going to go through with your plan to get me to join."

It was the first thing his parents talked to him about in a full civil conversation. It was right at the beginning of the summer holidays when Sirius was seated at their kitchen table and given a long lecture about the rights of old wizards of time.

~FIRST DINNER~

Sirius was sitting at the kitchen table with his arms on the table, just like the way his mother hated it. Regulus was on his left and Orion, his father, was on his right. His mother was standing across from him, towering over him in what would have been an intimidating kind of position, but Sirius was not falling for it.

"Sirius, we have a proposition for you," Walburga began, her cold eyes piercing into Sirius's.

"Interesting, Mother, really. But I really don't think our ideals quite match each other's..." Sirius said, eyes like chips of gray blue ice.

The tension in the air was heavier than the water pressure in the deepest trench of the deepest ocean. The intensity of their glares was unbelievable and if looks could kill, they would both be dead.

"Here us out," Orion said in a low and gruff voice.

Sirius sat back in the chair and nodded. He knew whatever his mother was going to say, nothing was going to have him changing his mind so he let his mother talk anyway for her own pleasure. Walburga set down her wand and leaned over the table, eyes still boring into her son.

"Regulus is interested in joining the Death Eaters," Walburga said and turned to her younger son. "Smart boy."

"No," Sirius said, voice rising a little. "Regulus, you're barking."

Regulus looked back at Sirius levelly and sometimes the Gryffindor had to admit that he forgot how old Regulus was and that he was not the eight year old boy who wanted to go out and play with him when the weather was nice or when the weather was bad. Sirius forgot how far his mother pounded her ideals into Regulus's head; Sirius forgot how he abandoned his brother when Regulus needed him the most.

"Regulus has common sense," Walburga said to Sirius, pointing a claw-like finger at her eldest son. "Something I wish you had."

"I do," Sirius said at once, voice calm and unwavering. "Perhaps not to you but that's what makes it common sense. If you don't get it, that's a good sign."

Walburga looked displeased and unnerved by Sirius's words but she dropped her hand and curled her lip back. It was a sign of her clear discomfort and all the while Orion remained silent. Sirius could have laughed right out loud at his father; the bloke was nothing but dead weight, his mother carrying Orion around on her back while she was the one who went and did everything.

"Orion?" Walburga said, turning to her husband. "Would you like to add something?"

"I think you said it all," Orion said and shrugged.

Sirius snorted to himself; that was a prime example of how much his father depended on his mother. Sirius pushed away his plate of untouched food and turned the other cheek; Regulus kept his eyes glued on his mother but once he felt Sirius looking at him, he looked back at his brother.

"What are you thinking?" Sirius demanded, hurt by the betrayal of his brother. For some reason, this sounded like a declaration of their separation. "You know better, Regulus. We talked about this."

"We talked about this but you always talked about _you_. We never talked about me," Regulus said, eyes steeled over from anything true he was feeling. His tone was devoid of all emotion. "Perhaps you should think of that."

"Fine," Sirius sneered, folding his arms over his chest. "Do you know what I think of you?"

He did not finish his sentence as he pointedly stared at both his parents, rose from the table, and left. He exposed his back to them as he stalked out of the kitchen and hurried up to his room, frantically wiping his eyes dry.

~Present~

Sirius may have lost a brother that day but he was determined to feel relieved. He stared back at those same faces that cost him so much happiness and challenged them with a bored and blank expression.

"The rest of our family is coming over," Walburga sneered, making sure she used the context "our family", knowing how that always got to Sirius.

However, her son did not exhibit any signs of a reaction other than a little shrug of his shoulder. Walburga seemed disappointed at the lack of a reaction and closed the door behind her and Orion.

Sirius let out a breath and lay back on the bed, thinking about all the people he hated in is family and summed up that most of the guests tonight were going to be people he hated. But him messing up was what Walburga wanted this entire time. Sirius promised himself he would not act out so promise he stuck to.

He waited and waited in his room, staring at those four walls, until the guests arrived. It was a large manor but he could always hear the tinkling laugh of his mother whenever someone would stop and visit. It was such a fake laugh but Sirius showed little interest in what his mother's fake habits were.

"Great," he said to himself. He rummaged through his closet and looked for something strictly red. He did have a load of red clothing in mockery to his mother but wearing it tonight would be a subtle sign of rebellion against what his parents wanted.

"Betty, Georgie," Walburga said in that same cheerful tone. "What dolls, I haven't seen you in ages."

Sirius looked at the clock on his bed side nightstand. It read 6:00 PM sharp. It was frightening how punctual aristocrats were but Sirius forced his feet to drag him downstairs and into the living area where all the guests were greeting one another. It was the one thing he liked the most since everyone tended to ignore him anyway.

Sirius could hear that down several halls and up two stories above her. In response, Sirius could hear the same response; a light hearted laugh. He walked up to his father and pointed at the vodka.

"Something to drink," he said. "Please, Father?"

Orion eyed the bottle suspiciously before pouring his son a small glass while he filled the others with Odgen's Finest Firewhiskey. Sirius sulked back into the living area and went to see who was willing to talk to the black sheep of the family. To his immense relief, no one seemed the slightest hit interested in him.

Sirius stood in the corner of the room, sipping on the alcohol that looked like water, completely unnoticed. It was a nice change for once after everyone would always seem to be so eager to pick at his flaws. Regulus was blending in well, talking to one of his many aunts about his Dark Mark, showing it to her.

His aunt laughed and smiled, hugging her nephew proudly as she admired the mark burned into his brother's left arm. Sirius looked at one of his cousins and raised an eyebrow to see her laugh almost flirtatiously. It made his head spin and it was not because of the alcohol.

And then he saw Lucius Malfoy, Narcissa Black, Bellatrix Black, and Lestrange. Sirius glared at them and remained in the corner, keeping a wary eye on them as they leered by the mantle, talking about something or another that was amusing.

Bellatrix saw Sirius first and walked over to him, holding up her hand to her other relatives and lover for them to stay behind. For some reason, Sirius seemed less intimidated seeing Bellatrix alone. Something in that heavy-lidded, sharp angled, face brought him a sense of comfort through the memories he collected in his head. He tiled his head up and watched her approach him.

"So," Bellatrix drawled, stopping beside him and leaning against the wall.

Despite being taller than her, Sirius still felt a sense of stifled fear as she stood next to him. He took another sip of his vodka and waited for her to say something, evidently looking polite.

"Did you hear the news about Regulus?" she asked, playing with a strand of her curly black hair.

"I did, yeah," Sirius said, trying to pass it off as a boring topic. "Isn't that why we are all here? To congratulate my brother for becoming a Death Eater?"

Bellatrix pushed herself off the wall a little to look at Sirius with a contemplating look. She eyed him up and down before resuming her former position, looking bored again. She sighed and twirled a strand of hair around her finger, tugging at it lightly.

"Have Walburga and Orion been after you about it?" she asked casually though Sirius knew she sounded eager. But did she sound...hopeful?

"What do you expect?" Sirius deadpanned, keeping his gaze locked forward. However, his grip on the glass tightened considerably, making him want to down the contents in one go.

"And you?" Bellatrix asked. She definitely sounded hopeful.

Sirius did not expect to feel a sting in his chest; it made his arm jerk upward, bringing the glass to his lips so he could down the vodka. He suppressed a hiccup and put a hand to his chest.

"No, Belle," Sirius said on old habit.

"What did you just call me?" Bellatrix asked, taken completely by surprise. She looked at him with wide eyes, calculating gaze.

"Belle," Sirius repeated albeit softer this time. His gaze flickered up to her before flickering away again. "That's what I used to call you when we were young."

Bellatrix was silent as she contemplated that.

"I know..." she said softly.

"Bella!" Narcissa said from the other side of the room. She waved her sister over as she linked arms with Lucius. "Come, you must hear wht Lucius was saying about the rumors about the Greengrass family."

"Danae Greengrass is in the marriage contract with Zabini," Sirius said as he joined in the conversation before he could stop himself.

"How'd you know that?" Narcissa asked, stifling the impressed note in her voice.

Sirius just shrugged and went back to sipping on his alcoholic beverage. He watched the room again and stared out at the crowd.

Dinner may have been one of the longest dinners he had ever had. He was picking at the ham steak he had on his plate when he heard the "Potter" family mentioned. Sirius was statue still as he listened to the conversation unwind.

"Those Potters are bad news..."

Sirius honed in on the conversation against his better judgement. He knew he should not have taken the bait but he could not help it. It was one of his multiple aunts—an aunt he did not even knew he had—talking about the Potter's as if they personally knew that family.

"And did you hear what Denole did?" the aunt said in a whisper of horror. "She began rescuing house elves from the Zabini family. Now...rumor has it the Zabinis are abusing theirs but still!"

"Speaking of the Zabinis, when is Danae she for marriage?" an uncle asked.

"Now I heard when Danae turns seventeen she is going to go off and marry him," the aunt said and shrugged a shoulder. "Personally I would have shipped off a beautiful girl like that sooner and expect a larger dowry."

"Well, now, the Greengrass family is wealthy," a cousin said.

"Not as wealthy as the Averys," Bellatrix piped up.

"No, not as rich as those Potter's. Who knows how they got all their family and I swear if it wasn't illegal, that'd family be extinct—"

Sirius stood up so fast, he knocked his glass over and tipped his chair back. The crash of the chair was the only noise in the room. Sirius was livid and so very much so he was nearly blinded by the angry red tinting his vision. He stared at his cousin, the one who spoke, and debated on what to do. Sirius was not aware of his parents either. He couldn't care less about them at the moment.

"Sirius, sit down," Walburga hissed. "I am so sorry. He is touched in the head—"

"I am not!" Sirius roared, shaking with the amount of anger coursing through his veins. "I am not insane! You all are! This family is distorted, derranged, and I will see the end of it!"

From that time and forth, Sirius made an inward vow to _never_ have children or to even marry. He did not need such things to be happy anyway.

Orion dose to his feet and led Sirius out of the kitchen but as soon as Lucius started snickering, Sirius snapped. The dog in him burst forth as he lunged at Lucius, taking the other down with his bare hands and raining his fists on the other's face.

Sirius could hear the satisfying crunch of bone but he wanted more. Swiftly, he kicked his foot and stamped hard on Lucius's nose, feeling it break beneath his combat boot. He was about to dive in again but Orion had shoved Sirius back so hard, he stumbled.

Sirius looked at Orion with a sort of defiance but he allowed his father to drag him upstairs and into his bedroom. He allowed Orion to slam the door shut and lock it behind him. He allowed Orion to advance in him. Sirius could take whatever was thrown at him. And the first thing thrown at him was a heavy fist decked with rings.

Sirius saw stars but he never left his feet after the blow. His cheek and jaw absolutely stung and raged after that but he curled his hands into fists and lunged right at his father. Dog instincts kicked in and Sirius locked his jaws around his father's wrist to immbolize his oncoming hand. Orion howled and ripped his hand free but not cleanly.

Blood dripped and Sirius had to blindly duck when his father swung. He did not duck fast enough and received another face full of rings. He did not expect to feel anything since his adrenaline was so high but he did and he had to stop. Blood seeped from the open gashes and upon closer look, Orion was not wearing just any kind of rings. He was wearing defense rings.

The wounds were open and cascading blood. Sirius had a particularly nasty gash opened on his neck. The wound weakened him significantly and he could not defend himself against the second attacker. Walburga had come.

Sirius curled into himself as his parents both beat him. Vaguely he saw his mother pull out her wand and brandish it right at him, teeth bared sharp with the intent of killing her son. Something about her actions almost seemed warranted so Sirius had given up the fight and lay there.

" _Avada—"_

But something had stopped his mother before she performed the curse. It was nothing he did but another down the hall and staring with wide but cold gray eyes.

Regulus.

"Mother?" he asked in a tone that could almost constitute as surprised. "Mother?"

Sirius broke free from his parents and rushed out of the room, knocking Regulus over. The blow almost sent Sirius reeling but his adrenaline and desire for freedom was driving him forward. He ran, not down, but up to the fourth floor.

Sirius slammed and locked the door shut even though he knew it would not be that effective. He rushed over to the fireplace with the Floo Powder and sent himself to...

"St. Mungos!"

The last Sirius saw of his family was Walburga's claw-like hand trying to pull him out of the fire place, Orion's face contorted into a look of rage as he lunged, and Regulus in the background, looking on with absolutely no emotion.

* * *

Sirius stumbled into St. Mungos but did not stay long. He looked around at all the Healers watching him before backing away with fear. He did not want to be by any of them so he did the only thing he knew that could either work or not.

He apparated.

The sensation was beyond weird even if he had side-apparated before. It started in his legs actually and moved up as he disappeared and reappeared. It felt like someone was slowly wrapping him in a blanket and suffocating him. This all happened in less than a second and then his feet hit solid ground. His knees buckled and he almost gave in.

Sirius looked down and stared at the droplets of blood splattering the cement. He put a hand to his neck and instantly he felt his blood soak his neck. The apparation had certainly exacerbated the wounds, especially that one. He pulled his hand back and looked at the red seeping in the lines of his hand. He was losing blood fast and he was exhausted.

Sirius forced himself to look up and as he did, he was afraid he just apparated right back to his Manor. But upon closer look, this Manor was different. It was the Potter's mansion.

Sirius almost passed out with relief. Because there was no gate, Sirius was able to walk up to their door, but he couldn't get past the small gate that blocked that bit off. Sirius looked around then settled on the cliché rock throwing to the window. He found a decent sized pebble and threw it up at the window, not knowing if that was even James's room.

Sirius tried figuring out what else to do and he was about to give in when the door suddenly opened. It was Mrs. Potter but before Sirius could explain, he blacked out. He blinked into a very nice black oblivion.

 **.oOo.**

Mrs. Potter was surprised to see anyone out at this hour but it was even worse to see this person collapse on the street. With a little shriek, Mrs. Potter rushed outside and continued calling for her husband. She seemed to have forgotten her husband was no longer physically with her or if he was even alive.

Instead, James came rushing out intstead. He followed his mother out to the streets and stopped short when he recognized the wounded stranger. His heart skipped a beat and his stomach flipped violently, threatening to make him upheave everything he ate. He barely recognized the face underneath the bruising and the cuts.

"Cicero—James, James," Denole said mostly to herself. "James, help me get him inside."

Denole's magic was a little weaker now that her core was weakening from her naturally older age. She and James both worked together to get Sirius's limp body into the house. James half carried Sirius while his mother performed a levitating charm.

When Sirius was successfully through the door, he stirred and woke. On the couch, he tried sitting up and looking around but pairs of hands held him down. Sirius, confused, froze and listened. He could vaguely make out the distorted noises of James's voice and then Mrs. Potter's voice saying something in response.

"Sirius!" James exclaimed.

Ever so slightly, he could hear James calling out to him but the noise was more like a buzz than anything. He closed his eyes once more and gave into sleep.

When he woke again, he was in much more pain and much more aware and alert. It made him agitated and fidgety to the point where he forced himself to open his eyes so he could see what was wrong.

"S'painful," Sirius mumbled.

Everything hurt. He tried to lift his arms but they felt much too heavy to be a part of his body. He could only look from side to side.

"What happened?" Sirius slurred.

James looked at him very seriously.

"I could ask you the same."


	3. Lead Me Out And Into The Light

**All rights remain.**

Sirius was in and out of his dazed state of mind for hours. He had been slipping in and out of deep slumbers for the past two hours. He was very much aware and conscious enough to feel the pain and the effects of the healing and potion brewing Mrs. Potter had done for him.

James and his mother took turns watching Sirius in his near state of delirium. James took the most time to watch Sirius, sitting in the arm chair off to the side of the sofa Sirius lay upon. He had things to do whenever he would sit and wait. Sometimes he would read the Prophet or write letters and send them to his friends, Peter and Remus.

Sirius felt bad so he forced himself to wake up and state blearily at James, blinking until his friend came into complete focus. The effort of keeping his eyes open was the real challenge. But the expression James word on his face and the state his physical appearance was in concerned him enough to not go back to sleep.

"Prongs?" Sirius raised, trying to get his voice back. "Prongs?"

"Don'tt talk too much. It's not good for your throat...which someone tore into practically," James said as he continued to write something down.

"Orion..." Sirius whispered.

That name brought back some painful memories—both physical and emotional agony. He always had hope his father would be the one go crack and maybe stand up against his mother but Orion turned out just as bad his mother.

"Your dad?" James supplied and leaned in a bit more forward now. "So, what all happened, Sirius?"

Sirius let the memories flood back as if he had let down his walls. His stared blankly at the wall across from him thought his hands would stir every so often as if he was seeing something James wasn't. Mrs. Potter had come in, too, and leaned against the doorway to listen to Sirius's statement.

"My brother...Regulus. That is how it all started," Sirius said, wincing at the name.

He had so much faith and hope in his younger brother. He made the mistake of hoping too much in Regulus and when he was disappointed, the world had crushed him. Sirius never let himself feel the same kind of budding faith and light in another person.

"This summer, he joined the new group—the Death Eaters," he said in a hollow voice. "He is fifteen."

Sirius rubbed his eyes with a hand and scoffed at himself. Thinking back on it now made him laugh at his own stupidity. He fell for his father and mother's traps, biting the bait and rising up so his parents could get a reaction from him. Now that he has the time to think clearly, he cursed himself over and over again for giving them a reaction they could use to their advantage.

"I kept defiant," Sirius admitted, even hating how stupid that sounded to his ears. "I just did not realize that my reaction was all they really wanted. They kept bothering me about it even though they knew I was never going to accept."

Sirius ran this through his head over and over again like a broken record. He truly hated how easily he succumbed to his emotions. It truly was going to be the bane of his existence. Heaving a sigh, he put his elbow on the couch and rested his chin in his hand.

"It was back and forth the entire summer until I heard what Regulus did," Sirius said, picking at his lip as he recalled the memory. "I did...not believe it at first but...then I heard _him_ bragging about it."

Sirius shook his head.

"My mother encouraged Regulus. I got angry, I rose to bite the bait, and...tonight...I just snapped. I don't know why I did but I did..."

Mrs. Potter listened carefully then walked over to Sirius and put a gentle and consoling hand on his shoulder.

"Sirius, I won't ever make you go back to that house," Denole said softly, looking at her son's friend. "You're welcome to stay here for as long as you want."

Sirius went from somber to pure shock in a matter of seconds. His eyes widened as he held his breath. Even James looked surprised but not unpleasantly so.

"Mrs. Potter..." Sirius began weakly. "I...I couldn't intrude on you and your family. I know what hardships you are facing and I can't be a burden."

"Sirius, dear, you are _not_ a burden to us," Denole said and looked at him sadly. "My husband would want you to stay. Just because we have some concerns, it does not make you a burden."

James sat up now, untangling his legs from underneath him and sitting up straight to lean forward. The expression Sirius wore made James wonder just what exactly his friend had to endure. Series tried not to look like he was too hopeful on the offer but Mrs. Potter's persistence made it look like she was determined to get Sirius to stay away from his family.

"Y-you don't have to pity me," Sirius said, sniffling.

To his horror, he could feel tears pricking the corner of his eyes, blurring and doubling his vision. He tried to frantically wipr his tears but do so subtly. However, Mrs. Potter caught him in the act and handed over a box of tissues.

"Sirius, we aren't pitying you," Mrs. Potter said kindly. "We are showing a family friend kindness."

Sirius wiped his eyes again and stayed silent for a few moments. It was a lot and to take it all in at once was exhausting. Letting emotions go was absolutely exhausting but holding in emotions was even more exhausting.

"Sirius?" Mrs. Potter said softly. "It's okay."

James had roomed with Sirius for five solid years, spending most of his five years with his friend in constant presence. He rarely saw Sirius cry genuinely. Last year was the most since he felt so terrible about betraying Remus in that sense of secrecy to Snape all for his own revenge.

"Oi, are you feeling better, Paddy?" James murmured softly, getting up and going to kneel beside Sirius.

Sirius merely nodded and shifted his position so he was more comfortable on the couch and James could sit down. James got the subtle hint and moved to sit across from his friend, looking at him gently and waiting for Sirius to say something first.

"Thank you, Mrs. Potter," Sirius said and looked at James's mother with the utmost look of appreciation.

"Of course," Mrs. Potter said and respectively backed out of the room to give the two some time to talk on their own.

James and Sirius sat in a very comfortable silence where they were able to just enjoy one another's company. They each took a side of the couch, which was long enough for them to stretch out their legs. James had his legs on the outside, crossed at the ankles, and Sirius had his legs between James's and the back of the couch.

"What...now?" he asked, looking at James.

"Do you want to get cleaned up? Go to bed?" James asked.

What Sirius wanted the most was to not be alone. He knew it sounded clingy but he had been alone for too long with all the wrong people. He closed his eyes and lay back on the couch's arm rest, feeling himself unwind after twisting himself up like a clock over his family. It made him exhausted but too exhausted to even notice.

James went to retrieve a blanket from the corner basket of their massive Great Room and draped it over his friend, finding it so very odd to Sirius in such a state. James had to keep reminding himself the ordeal Sirius had gone through and the state he was left in.

"Thanks, Prongs," Sirius rasped.

James flashed Sirius a quick smile before dimming the lights and heading up. Closing the door to his bedroom, his eyes instantly slid to the clock on his wall. 2:00 in the morning and he barely felt a thing. He lay down in his bed and stared at his ceiling, wondering if somehow by watching it, it was going to change.

By 2:40, James was already beginning to fall back asleep. His eyes closed and his breathing slowed. At 3:15 or around there, James heard the soft noise of padded feet and claws across the hard wood floor. It jerked him awake and had him peering through the darkness.

He could see a large dark mass standing at the doorway of his bedroom. If James did not recognize that silhouette, it would have sent him running for the hills. However, all he did was smile a little through the darkness and patted the mattress.

The great dog bounded forward and leapt onto the bed with ease. In a split second later, Sirius transformed into himself and rubbed his eyes wearily.

"Your house is ridiculously huge. I didn't know which floor you were on and I wasn't about to go searching through 19,000 square feet of home."

James huffed out a laugh and stretched back on the bed, laying down again. He raised an eyebrow at Sirius's defiance of using his nose to find his friend though it was a look of amusement. Sirius bit his lip and and lay down beside James.

"You were in bad shape, Padfoot, what happened?" James asked quietly.

Sirius sighed and continued looking up at the ceiling. He had a hunch this would come up sooner than later, perhaps even expecting the question tonight.

"A lot," Sirius sighed and sounded ashamed. "My parents...got angry. It's a load of bullocks but...it sticks."

He sniffled and heaved a sigh.

"What am I doing wrong?"

James sat up and put a hand on Sirius's knee, patting it gently as he consoled his troubled friend. James often found finding the right thing hard but with his friends, it came naturally.

"They want you to believe it was _you_ who did something wrong but that could not be less true," the other said and ran a hand through his messy hair. "Padfoot, you did nothing wrong and I do not want you to think you did. Bugger, Padfoot, you have done _nothing_ wrong."

Sirius sucked in a deep breath and let it out whilst biting on his lip nervously.

"Then why I do I feel like shite all the time?"

"That's how they want you to feel, Padfoot. They want you to feel bad about yourself but you have come a long way from where you began," James said, shifting his position so he could drape an arm around Sirius's shoulders and lean in closer. "I see it. I see your change."

Sirius fell silent, looking at James with trusting eyes.

"Do you know where?" James pressed gently, raising his eyebrow.

Again, Sirius remained silent but his eyes questioned.

"There."

Sirius felt the warmth of James's hand right on his heart.

* * *

"Are you cold?" Peter asked, raising his tone in questioning.

"No," Remus said and leaned against the chain-link fence. Truth was, he was freezing and Remus had go give up his sweatshirt when Peter's father came home and fell, cutting himself on the shards of his bottle. Remus let the health inspector in him out and wrapped the wound in his sweatshirt to stop the cascading blood.

Now, he and Peter were standing outside and stared at the house from the outside. Remus's only upper layer of clothing was a plain navy blue short sleeved shirt and tightly fitted khaki pants. He cursed himself for not wearing warmer clothes.

"You _are_ cold," Peter said with a small hint of apology. "You have goosebumps on your arms and you're shivering."

Remus put his hands to his upper arms and tried warming himself up. He ran a hand through his hair and looked at his watch, watching the seconds go by until they turned into a minute. They had been standing out their for a half hour at the least.

"I have an idea," Remus said suddenly.

"Fire away," Peter said encouragingly.

"Remember that church we saw on one of our walks?" Remus said, uncrossing his arms and sticking his hands in the pockets of his khakis.

"We can sleep in there. Good call," Peter finished with a snap of his fingers. "Let's go."

Remus and Peter made their way through the city until they found the local church. It was not a particularly long walk but no one would think of finding them there. The two slipped in past the security cameras and went past the church and into the recreational room.

It was originally made for church groups and families with small children. However, the two collapsed on couches; Remus wrapped himself up in the pillows and Peter went scrounging for food by the public refrigerators.

"Do you know how much trouble we'll be in if we get caught?" Remus asked with a raised eyebrow.

"The minister here is actually really nice," Peter said in truth. "He is really hospitable. I once slept in the church pews and the next morning he found me. Father Bernard wasn't angry or anything and even offered me some of his breakfast."

"Father Bernard?" Remus echoed curiously.

"Yeah. You do know Christian priests adopt a new name when they become priests," Peter said with a hint of a smile.

"I knew that," Remus said and rolled his eyes playfully. "Maybe...maybe not. Anyway, I never heard of a father as Father Bernard. It's unique."

Peter chuckled and stretched out on the other couch and closed his eyes lazily. He was exhausted and finally comfortable.

Remus could not agree more with his own state of sheer exhaustion. It was a struggle keeping his eyes open.

"I still haven't thanked you properly for everything you've done, Moony," Peter mumbled through his weariness. "You are a great friend."

Remus sat upon that for a while.

"Thanks Wormy. You're obviously worth it all," Remus said.

Both fell asleep after that.

 **.oOo.**

Remus was the first to wake, finding the ceiling he was staring at to be quite strange. There were no zizagging cracks—and it was painted. Remhs sat up almost sharply and looked around, remembering within a fraction of a second later he was in the church recreational room with Peter. Remus looked over at Peter, who was waking up, too.

"Good night?" he asked.

"Very good," Peter said sleepily and stifled a yawn as he sat up. "How are you?"

"Warm," Remus said. He stretched his shoulder, crossing his arm in the crook of his other elbow and stretching. "But I slept well, which I am thankful for."

"I can imagine. Your room is the closest to the door my father uses when he comes home in a stupor," Peter said and looked around. "Hungry?"

"Very much so," Remus said and swung his long legs over the edge and stood up, wincing as some of his joints protested.

Remus and Peter sneaked out of the church and went through the city streets, wandering as they made their way home. Peter's father was usually still passed out at this time so going back now was their safest bet.

Remus rubbed his eyes as they got used to the harsh light and stopped at the normal looking house. Upon entering, there was silence. It was a calming and peaceful silence, which meant Peter's father must have gone on his way to work.

While Peter showered and got himself washed up and ready, Remus made them both eggs, biscuits, and warm British tea. The two sat down at the table and ate while talking about casual tolixs such as muggle sports such as tennis, football, American football, basketball, and etcetera all the way to who had the longest hair at Hogwarts.

Maybe Camelia Bastillo, a seventh year Ravenclaw.

When breakfast was finished, Peter took care of the dishes while Remus went to shower, wash IP, and get ready for the day. When he walked into the guest bedroom where his things were at, Remus looked at himself in the mirror and sighed. He had a very lean and toned torso but they were etched with scars like a kid got crazy with the marker.

His khakis clung to his jutting hip bones so wearing a belt was always better than not wearing one. He wore tighter pants to help enhance his self confidence—or as Sirius would say—but they showed off just _how_ skinny he was. He looked like he could be taken out with just one punch.

Remus exited the bedroom and saw Peter still cleaning up the last few dishes but something else caught his eye. Peter's messenger bag was laying against the wall by the couch but his bag was glowing from the inside. At first, Remus was suspicious but then he was curious.

"Oi...Wormtail," Remus said, pointing to the bag. "Can I see why it's glowing?"

"Sure," Peter said, knitting his eyebrows at the weird question. "Go ahead."

Remus strode across the room and went through Peter's books until he reached the parchment glowing brightly and almost humming with some kind of trapped energy. Remus took it out and unfolded the enchanted parchment. There, he saw James's handwriting in normal pen.

-We had a bit of a dilemma. -J

-Hello? -J

-This would be a great time for you to respond. -J

-No one? Okay... -J

-Prongs? -P

-Oi! I got a hold of Wormtail! -J

-Paddy says hi. -J

-I'm actually Remus. I'm writing for Peter. -P

"It's Prongs," Remus said to Peter, who stopped cleaning to hear. "And Padfoot's with him but I thought he was still at his mum's place."

"Why?" Peter asked, too. "Tell them I say 'hi', too."

-Wormy says hi. -P

-Why is Sirius with you? -P

-He got in a bit of trouble with his mum and dad. -J

Remus read that and felt his heart drop. He passed the news on to Peter, who hummed thoughtfully.

-What happened? -P

-Regulus happened. -S

-Hang on. Peter's getting my parchment. -P

-Okay. -J

-Tell him to look both ways. Those walls like to move on him. -S

-What? -P

-That was _one_ time, Padfoot! One time! -R

Remus and Peter switched parchments so their initials would show up as their own instead of reversed.

-I'm back. I'm Remus. -R

-No, you are Moony. -J

-Anyway, what happened? -R

-Are you really going to make me explain this all over writing? -S

-No, but what we need to know so when we do see you, we will understand. -P

-Okay. My brother joined the Death Eaters. He's fifteen. My parents tried getting me to reconsider and I firmly said no. I tmtried to thwart my brother from joining but too late. My parents got angry at me for speaking out. They had enough. I had enough. My parents knocked me around before I ran away. -S

Though Remus nor Peter could see, Sirius was shaking ever so slightly, the telltale unsteadiness in his hand.

-I'm sorry to hear. -R

-I wish we were there. -P

-Do you two plan on coming over? -J

-Soon. Hopefully. -P

Remus hoped it would be soon. He truly loved Peter but he did not know how much more he could take of the smell of alcohol.

-Good. I miss you crazy lot. -J

-Our other half. -S

-Comrades. -J

-Amigos. -S

-SÍ. Mi amigo, Peter es important a mi.

-Gracías. -P

-Y mi amigo, Remus, es important a mi. -J

-Are you quite done? -R

-Yep. -J

-Look for our owl. We'll send you the details when we plan to head out. -P

James and Sirius and Peter and Remus all out away the parchment and graced their day and the people with their presence as each to their own.

* * *

James and Sirius made sure to keep themselves busy as they worked on whatever. They walked around, talked to people, flirted with girls, and got themselves a nice date in the father countryside of the city. The two girls were more friends than anything else but it was a nice change.

They were kind and funny. They were bold and Sirius quite liked that. He often engaged in their conversation, sounding genuinely interested even though Sirius was known to get bored with people rather quickly.

But James could tell Sirius was distracted for his tone was not fully engaged. And right he was. Sirius was struggling to make sense of recent past events. He thought he would get a sense of relief finally freeing himself from the tyranny of his family. But the lack of oppression seemed to be dimmed by the dull ache of losing everything.

Sirius was good at putting on a smile for the crowd, however. But when it would be just him and his friends, Sirius knew his walls would break.

* * *

 **To the beloved individual who called me a abhorrent, fucking retard: Thank you, pal! Love you, too.**

 **KaiaRekin: I know right, Remus the little rebel.**

 **xXFadingNightXx: Thank you so much. I want to capture the oppression of his family. I want people to know Sirius had a very warranted reason for leaving them.**

 **Padfoot123321: Thank you for reviewing! I look forward to hearing what you have to say. I love your feedback.**

 **Guest: Your wish is my command. I hope you didn't explode. Here is the next chapter!**


	4. I Don't Kiss and Tell

**All rights remain.**

Sirius Black was a seriously misconstrued person. On the exterior, his tight black pants and combat boots, his over the top outfits made him look almost intimidating or simply one of society's many misfits. His own relationship with his parents soldified people's assumptions about the rebel but there was always a backstory to every person.

No one person was the same and people have a horrible tendency to forget that.

Sirius was not short of this stereotype. He was nursing a bruised ago, a sore heart, and a broken life. But despite how despairing and hopeless Sirius Black sounded, not all was lost. That boy had a .very good ability to hang on tight to the things he desired the most.

James Potter was currently sitting with Sirius on the same bed, trying to make sense of Sirius's despairing cries. He did not know what to do but that was not always necessary anyway. Sometimes all Sirius needed was the presence of another friend.

"Shite, I'm crying," Sirius said to himself, wiping his eyes on his sleeve.

"Yeah, mate, it's something everyone does," James said gently, handing Sirius a box of tissues.

Sirius just held the box and played with the soft tissue so his hands could remain preoccupied. He had had some trouble readjusting to life outside of his parents' domain but though liked his newfound freedom, he still could not get used to the fact he truly was free.

 _Tap, tap. Tap, tap._

James looked over at his window where the source of the agitating noise was coming from then blinked in surprise when he saw an owl, an unmistakable owl, he did not recognize. James got off the bed and hurried over to the window, letting the crisp morning air flow in as the owl fluttered to the foot rest of the bed.

"Paddy, I think you have post?" James guessed, leaving his window open and moving to the bed where the owl sat perched.

Sirius grumbled and pulled the letter free from the string tied to the owl's leg. Indeed, it was a letter addressed to Sirius. Pulling a face, Sirius sat cross legged and opened the letter, reading it with a sense of reluctance.

James was not known for his patience. That award went to Remus Lupin so waiting for Sirius to finish reading and start explaining was killing him. The bespectacled boy leaned in and tried to keep silent while Sirius read the first page...then the second...then the third. It was all in messy scrawl like it had been hastily written.

"Relax, Prongs," Sirius said after he finished the letter. "Read it all if you want but it's a letter from Reg pretty much saying I have been officially disowned by my family."

James recoiled, looking astounded.

"My mother just blasted me off the family tree. That pretty much was the official way of being disowned from the Black family," Sirius elaborated. "I don't really care since I was never really a part of the family anyway."

"Holy shite, Padfoot," James said and shook his head in absolute disbelief. "What are you going to get now? This was specifically what Moony advised against."

"Well, he's not here or there, is he?" Sirius said defiantly and shook his head, handing the letter to James. "It doesn't matter, what's done is done. I'm leaving and I'm not looking back."

James knew better than to argue so he let it go for now. He was still worried about what Sirius to do so he waited for the afternoon where he got Sirius to lay down and rest for an hour to so while he reached out to the others.

"I'm probably crashing, too," James said to appease his friend. "So relax."

Sirius went to sleep in one of the many guest rooms while James rushed up to his room and grabbed the enchanted parchment and a Muggle pen.

-Someone for the love of God, please answer. -J

James sat in his room for about five (agonizing) minutes without anyone replying before someone finally did.

-May I help you? -R

-Yeah. We have a problem. Padfoot came to my place, right? Like...I dunno, he left his parents on bad terms. -J

-Right...? -R

-Padfoot got a letter today, a few hours ago, saying he's been completely disowned. -J

-That's not good, Prongs. I specifically told film to hang on until he was seventeen. Note he doesn't have a place to go and I doubt he ever thought about that once. -R

-He has. We talked about it and well, he didn't know either. -J

-In other words you have no idea what to do—either of you—so you have come to ask me. -R

-What a mind reader. Skip the lecture and help me figure this out. -J

-Gee, I can practically hear your exasperation. Find me a minute to think. -R

-Take your time. -J

-Will do. -R

-Any time. -J

-I've got it, Prongs. Don't be such a prat. -R

-You do? -J

-Talk to your mum and see what she has to say on the matter. -R

-Meaning? -J

-Prongs—see if your mum is willing to give Sirius a place to stay. That's what I am suggesting. -R

James bit his lip. Now he certainly felt stupid not thinking of that first.

-Thanks, Moony. -J

-That's what I am here for. -R

-All right. Wish me luck. -J

-Good luck.

James put away the parchment and began pacing his room, trying to come up with a good speech for his mother and how exactly he was going to present this to her. She had a lot going on with his father missing but he did not know what else to do.

James ran a hand through his hair and got up from his bed, mindful to be quiet around Sirius's room before he sprinted down the stairs to find his mother. The trouble with the large manor was finding people, especially since there were only two living in there.

He found Tia before he found his mother. "Tia, when Sirius wakes, will you get him something or anything to eat?"

Tia bowed gracefully before James set off again, weaving through halls and going in circles. He rubbed his eyes wearily then stopped and backtracked when he saw his mother at a table writing something down.

"Mum?" James asked from the doorway. "Mum?"

"James," his mother said pleasantly. "Hello."

James bit his lip and sat across from his mother's table with a slightly nervous demeanor. Denole sensed this and tilted her head to the side.

"Sirius got a letter today from his brother," James began, hands twisting in his lap. "Course it was not a good letter. Letters from home are never good."

"Right?" Denole said slowly, a tone encouraging James to continue.

"He was disowned this morning according to the letter. Sirius doesn't seem concerned and I am not really either but then I realised he needs a place to stay and..."

Denole hummed thoughtfully and nodded at his words.

"James, he can stay here. I do not see why not? He practically is my second son," Denole said with a kind smile. "Of that was what you were so worried about, James, relax. That is more than okay with me."

James felt dizzy with relief as he thanked his mother.

"We will tell him tonight...offer him a place to stay," Denole said and nodded. "All right."

 **.oOo.**

Sirius was wide awake by the time he heard James walking up the stairs. He sat up on bed, feeling better after getting some sleep and tapped on the wall. It was something they did back at Hogwarts to signal to each other they were awake.

James was walking down the hall when he heard that and not long after Sirius knocked the door opened. Sirius raised an eyebrow and looked at James up and down.

"What time is it?" Sirius settled on asking.

"Almost time for dinner, mate," James said and leaned against the door frame, looking at his friend. "Did you sleep well?"

Sirius could not help but chuckle softly.

"Yeah," he said and played with the hem of the covers on the bed. "And I've been thinking..."

"Come on, tell me on the way down to dinner," James said beginning to head out.

Sirius followed close at heel. James led them downstairs to the kitchen and pulled out a bar stool for good friend before Denole joined them for dinner. The three sat and ate comfortably, tapping about everything casually when Denole changed the subject.

"I heard what happened," she said gently.

Sirius froze, stiffened, and then glared at James. James just offered him a small sigh and shrug.

"Do not worry so, Sirius, I do not blame you for leaving. I just want to offer this place to be your home until you get your own. You are always welcome here," Denole said and looked at Sirius. "What's ours can be yours, Sirius."

Sirius was in too much shock to speak. He knew the Potter family was gracious and kind but he did not know that were willing to lend him a place to stay until he got his own. It made him simply feel right for all the right reasons.

* * *

"Hey, you didn't tell me you had a guitar," Remus said and walked over to the two wooden guitars on a prop.

James, Sirius, Peter, and Remus were all sitting in one of James's many rooms. Remus and Peter had come over that previous evening. It was morning and the four of them were exploring what James had in his Manor.

"I have two," James said and walked over to the other wooden guitar, identical to the one Remus was now holding.

"I didn't know you played," Remus said with a tsk of his tongue. He strummed the strings expertly and started tuning the ones that needed it.

"Wait, do you?" James asked, pointing at Remus in surprise.

"Well, sure," Remus said and sat down. "I played when I was young..er."

James and Remus strummed simultaneously then pulled the straps of the instrument over their shoulders. James's face lit up as he moved over to Remus and whispered something to his friend. Remus looked thoughtful for a moment and considered what the messy haired sixth year said and nodded while smiling.

James took a step back and casually strummed the guitar again. Then, together, Remus and James began playing the same melody. Peter and Sirius began cheering, pretending to throw roses and money at them while the two performed. Remus and James stopped when there was faint knocking on the door.

"James?" Denole asked, opening the door slowly. "Oh, I see you have found our guitars."

"Yeah," James said gently and set his down beside Remus's. "What is it?"

"I was actually wondering if you wanted something to eat," Denole said and looked around. "Tia is around, I just saw here by the East Wing."

James turned to his friends in questioning. At first, they all shrugged indecisively then James turned back to his mother.

"Yes."

"Okay, I'll find Tia and see if she can make something for us," Denole said kindly before closing the door again.

"I keep forgetting you have a house elf," Remus said truthfully.

"House elves run in old families, eh, Padfoot?" James said, turning to his friend.

"Some house elves are normal house elves. And then there's Kreacher," Sirius snorted and rolled his eyes at the mention of his family.

"I can't believe it," Peter said in truth. "You finally got away from your parents, how does that make you feel?"

"Pretty fortunate," Sirius breathed earnestly. "But we all knew it was going to happen. No one knew when it would though," Sirius said and turned to Remus. "What? No retorts?"

"Oi, you are very lucky you have found yourself a place to stay," Remus said in conclusion.

I say in honour of new found freedom, we should have a toast," Sirius said.

"You just want an excuse to get smashed," Remus snorted.

"Damn right," Sirius shot back with a grin. "I'm not denying that."

And that was how The Marauders ended up on the lawn of the Potter Manor sipping on firewhiskey and relaxing. Their OWLs results have not yet come to them but that was on the back of their minds as they settled in the grass together, forming a tight circle around the latern they had brought.

"You know I want to say this as sober as I can," Sirius said, setting down his bottle and facing his friends with a sincere expression. "Thank you."

Peter and Remus looked on with surprise but James merely smiled and patted his friend's shoulder. That was like a form of telepathic communication. Sirius blinked gratefully at James and sat back, evidently done with his sentiment.

"Remus, I know you wanted to..."

Sirius pulled out something folded several times and handed it off to his lycanthrope friend. He settled back down again and nodded at Remus's hesitance.

"Read it, go on," he encouraged.

Remus opened the four page letter and began trailing his eyes over it.

 _Sirius Orion Black,_

 _We chose that name for you because we had faith in you. Your father and I loved you, Sirius. You were our first born child and one we had high hopes for. We put everything into you because we thought we could count on you. No matter the consequences, we always put more and more faith into you, thinking one day you would stop going against us._

 _You defy who you are, Sirius. No matter how many posters you use to cover up the green and silver. No matter how deep you turn your red and gold paint, no matter who choose to select as your friends, you will always be Sirius Orion Black—the eldest heir to the ancient and noble Black family._

 _But that does not mean we have to accept you. Sirius, you have failed to see the extent of my power. You may inherit my wealth, my belongings, and everything in between but I am not finished with you. I have only begun. Whether you accept yourself as a Black, we do not, and I certainly do not. Whether we accept you or not, you will, however, always be in the bloodline of the infamous Black family. That is something you will never run away from._

 _I hate you. I hope you never consider coming back and if you do I shall not hesitate to go after you, Sirius Black. You have dishonored me above all and have humiliated me behind warranty. I will not rest until I have seen to your every last breath of air._

 _N'ere return, Sirius Black._

Remus found the letter to be very bipolar and the person who wrote it even more so. But he noticed something else pasted into the letter that looked like it was purposely hidden.

"Did you see this second bit?" he asked curiously.

"What second bit?" Sirius asked curiously.

"I think it is written from you brother. It looks like it is magically sealed and concealed."

Sirius sat up at that. No, he had not seen any letter from his brother. So, how come Remus could? Sirius did not sit and fathom that for long. He leaned over to see what Remus was talking about.

 _Sirius,_

 _I have concealed this part of the letter from Mother in case she got her hands on this before I could send it._

 _The damage has been done. Mother is no longer yours and I am no longer your brother. You have abandoned me in my greatest time of need. I had no choice but to join. You know what I mean—I needed security and because you were never there, I have been seeking it for so long and have become too desperate._

 _I do not regret my decision (though I am sure to when time comes future) but Mother was right. They are all I have now and the cause is what I fight for now. I hope you will someday read this and think back, reflect, and become more self-aware._

 _We were once young brothers together and we were nearly inseperable. We were the only ones either of us trusted and for some unexplainable reason that has never changed. It is funny and ironic how some things really never do change. But what are you going to do about it? Even if you do not like the exterior of it, it was simply the ex_ _terior of it. It is the interior that really matters but no one seems to_ _remember that._

 _So, Sirius, do me a favor and be one of those people who look deeper than the physical appearance. There is always going to be something there._

 _Take care,_

 _R.A.B_

Remus bit his lip and ran his free hand through his hair, trying to think of something plausible to say in this situation. Sirius was unusually still and silent, jaw set, eyes blank, an unreadable expression.

The thoughts running through serious m Sirius's mind were ones of mixed signals. While he did want to redo time and be there for his brother more than he does in the past but he kept asking himself repeatedly:

 _How much of the past would I have_ really _changed?_

"I never saw that before," Sirius admitted quietly. "And Moony said it was magically concealed so why could Moony see it and not me?"

That was a question no one knew how to answer. Remus folded the letter back up and handed it back to its original owner. Sirius gave him a quick smile and looked up at the sky to make himself look preoccupied.

The bottles lay practically untouched and the four just laid back and relaxed. The silence was comforting and reassuring that they did not always need noise to enjoy one another's company. These were four friends who's friendship could never be emulated by any other. This was one of those times where they were reminded of that. And it always brought a sense of appease and comfort.

 **.oOo.**

"Boys, your OWLs results are here."

That was definitely _the_ mood killer the boys had to endure after a night of pure bliss and contentmnet. They had come off their cloud nine with the reality of getting their test results back. Four handsome OWLs came flying towards the window sill, each with a letter.

Remus braved the anticipation first and unattached the letter with his name on it and looked with on with hesitancy.

 _ **Remus John Lupin:**_

 **CHARMS: Outstanding**

 **CARE OF MAGICAL CREATURES: Outstanding**

 **POTIONS: Outstanding**

 **TRANSFIGURATION: Outstanding**

 **DEFENSE AGAINST THE DARK ARTS: Exceeds Expectations**

 **HISTORY OF MAGIC: Exceeds Expectations**

 **ASTRONOMY: Outstanding**

 **HERBOLOGY: Outstanding**

 **DIVINATION: Exceeds Expectations**

Remus looked over his grades and felt like he could breathe again. His lowest grade was an Eceeds Expectations and those where in the classes he knew he was struggling in. He knew Defense Against the Dark Arts was rather iffy and he would have downright laughed if he ever had to teach that class.

He looked over at Sirius's while Sirius looked at his.

 _ **Sirius Orion Black:**_

 **CHARMS: Outstanding**

 **CARE OF MAGICAL CREATURES: Outstanding**

 **POTIONS: Outstanding**

 **TRANSFIGURATION: Outstanding** **(Professor's Note: uncanny talent)**

 **DEFENSE AGAINST THE DARK ARTS: Outstanding**

 **HISTORY OF MAGIC: Exceeds Expectations**

 **ASTRONOMY: Outstanding**

 **HERBOLOGY: Outstanding**

 **DIVINATION: Acceptable**

"Uncanny talent, eh?" Remus said, handing the report back and looking over James's. "You all were dabbling in illegal magic. I would assume you were good in that particular area of study."

He turned to see James's work.

 **CHARMS: Outstanding**

 **CARE OF MAGICAL CREATURES: Outstanding**

 **POTIONS: Exceeds Expectations**

 **TRANSFIGURATION: Outstanding** **(Professor's Note: uncanny talent.)**

 **DEFENSE AGAINST THE DARK ARTS: Outstanding**

 **HISTORY OF MAGIC: Exceeds Expectations**

 **ASTRONOMY: Outstanding**

 **HERBOLOGY: Outstanding**

 **DIVINATION: Exceeds Expectations**

Remus regarded this carefully and considered this again. His friends must have been something smart and sometimes he did forget just how sharp and clever his friends really were. With their constant immature behaviour and haughty demeanor, Remus often forgot, admittedly, how intelligent they really were.

He moved over and lastly looked at Peter's report.

 **CHARMS: Acceptable**

 **CARE OF MAGICAL CREATURES: Poor**

 **POTIONS: Acceptable**

 **TRANSFIGURATION: Exceeds Expectations**

 **DEFENSE AGAINST THE DARK ARTS: Outstanding**

 **HISTORY OF MAGIC: Dreadful**

 **ASTRONOMY: Acceptable**

 **HERBOLOGY: Acceptable**

 **DIVINATION: Poor**

Peter had an interesting shelf of all marks. It fascinated Remus but he never questioned the mindset of his friend. Peter was not good at everything but what he was good at, he excelled in it. It was something people had a bad habit of forgetting.

Remus congratulated his friends on making it this far with everything that happened, was happening, and will happen. But whatever did, is, and will, The Marauders were pretty confident that they had a handle on it.

* * *

 **Padfoot123321: That is cool. In what aspects are you and Sirius alike? If you make an account, you should tell me so we can PM message each other, yeah! Anyway, my favorite Marauder is Peter because he is highly misunderstood and so horribly underestimated.**

 **Guest: I am here with another update! Thank you so much for sticking with it!**


	5. My Life, My Story

**All rights remain.**

"He got away. _He got away_. _He got away_!"

Regulus Black shuddered inwardly and shrunk back into his room. He winced at the mad cackling of his mother. It could be heard clearly from his bedroom, which was on the second floor while his mother was on the third floor. Perhaps there truly was one thing Sirius was right about. Perhaps this family was not as normal as he once thought it was. His mother, especially, worried him but he put away the things of Sirius's philosophy and moved on.

Regulus, still, however, was beginning to have second thoughts (not about the Death Eaters). He was having second thoughts about staying with his parents though he had no reason to fear. They gushed about their "perfect Regulus". But Regulus knew he had to go that extra mile to receive his parents' approbation. He was never their favorite child; that was always going to be their first born, no matter how disappointing. Regulus always had to compete harder to earn any kind of motherly recognition.

 _"He will never be gone. Not really. I will always be with him, inside his head."_

Regulus knit his eyebrows and closed his door a little more, leering out only through a small crack of the door. He hated the way his mother had suddenly become obsessed with her eldest son. He tried not being completely unnerved by that but he could not help but feel a twinge of fear installed with his mother. She was frightening.

Regulus braved the fear and headed up the stairs where he tuned in and followed his mother's voice. He peered down the hall and saw the second closest door to him opened ever so slightly. Curiously yet cautiously, he pushed the door open and peered inside to see his mother standing and staring at...

The wall.

Regulus cleared his throat a bit awkwardly at first but then he realised that would be a bad idea and instantly ducked out of view and watched his mother from behind the door.

Walburga was still staring at the wall but suddenly she lifted her wand and with a boom that rattled off some of the pictures on the wall, Walburga had blasted a burning hole into the wall. She had this ugly scowl on her face that made it look like she was staring at her worst enemy. With a cautious backwards walk, Regulus hid out of sight as Walburga started walking towards the door.

When the room was empty and the lights were shut, Regulus slipped into the room where his mother just was and went to see what damage she had done to the wall. He had been all over his house countless of times yet he never noticed the family tree of the Noble and Ancient Black family. He saw his own image on there and beside his image...was Sirius.

Or what was left of Sirius.

The image of Sirius and his name was burning deeply and almost unreadable. Regulus trailed his fingers over the burn mark with a solemn expression but an aching heart. Regulus looked our the door then closed it, making sure no one saw him. With a wand, that did not belong to him, Regulus performed magic, which was illegal.

He was murmuring a soft incantation to stop the flames eating away the wall. The flames flickered and died and Regulus was able to restore some of Sirius's portrait. Even if his elder brother did not want that, Regulus did that to console himself.

No one knew it but Regulus missed his brother.

But no one knew that.

With one last look, Regulus close the door gently behind him as he left the room.

* * *

July had rolled by with little to no complications. The only thing they had to deal with was Peter's loud snoring at night whenever they would all crash in the same room. Other than that, they were feeling rather at ease. June and July's full moon went smooth.

June's full moon only had Peter and Remus but even the two were able to get along. Peter kept the werewolf preoccupied in the back woods of the little run down city. The two of them slept through the night although Peter had to retire to a tree before the werewolf decided to have a snack.

July's full moon went even smoother. It seemed like it was because the environment was just so much calmer. There were less people to hurt and Remus was less stressed about it. He was able to transform into the werewolf inside the Potter Manor. It was a nice change to be inside a room instead a dungeon. All four boys finished dinner that night; three claimed they were tired and would be off to bed while Remus went to the designated room right beside the Manor Courtyard. Remus wanted for his three friends to sneak off. And together, they spent the full moon keeping each other safe.

But then July 14th hits and The Marauders have to tackle the Daily Prophet his mother received. It was the front page in a very tiny section.

 **Minister's Ambassador found dead this morning; also found in his work attire.**

But the thing was, that was it. There was absolutely no other details about who killed Ryan Bastillo. There were no details about any capture of the murderer. There was nothing even about where he was killed. There was absolutely no detail about any of it.

"Which means the Ministry has no idea who did this, where, when really, why. The Ministry has no clue where to even start and they have no handle on this," Remus deadpanned in nearly all one breath.

"Point taken," Sirius said and walked over to Remus. "Calm down, Moony. I have never seen you this peeved off over the Daily Prophet."

"You have definitely seen me angry before," Remus said, shaking his head disapprovingly. "I wonder why they even bother posting articles about this kind of stuff then make themselves look bad when they don't add any details? It is pretty much like wearing a huge sign that says 'I do not know anything!'."

"It was an obligation," James said with a shrug.

The Marauders fell silent after that, each to their own. But as they were lounging around, there came a tapping on the window. No one went to get that at first, not really thinking of it much but then James got up and pushed the window open.

The owl screeched angrily for being ignored then hopped down to the table where there was a note for James. Confused. James untied the letter and read it out loud, knowing it was okay since it was from Marcus, his old Quidditch Captain.

"James, fancy seeing me again? Fabian and Gideon are having a house party next week, July 24. Remus, Peter, and Sirius have been invited so be there, that's an order from your Quidditch Captain.

James chuckled and folded the letter.

"What do you reckon?" he asked, waving the letter with a little arrogant smile. "Are we going?"

The other three nodded as they all exchanged looks. Evidently, it was an idea they were all okay with. James smiled and pulled the bottle of ink and a quill cloesr as he found the back side of the note, writing a quick response.

 **We'll be there, yeah.**

James tied the reply back to the leg of the owl and sent it on its way. To anyone else, all it seemed like The Marauders did was go to parties—perhaps even raunchy ones—but this one was different and for reasons that were warranted. With the new threat looming nearer, it was hard to find any cheer within anyone. Everyone was paranoid about everyone else and it was hard to enjoy life when no one else was.

That was why The Marauders always pulled pranks and threw random parties. It was not just because they wanted to mess around—though that _was_ a reason—but it was to lift the spirits of the depression.

It was, after all, dark times, very dark times.

* * *

The music blasted loudly as the people lazed about the giant room.

Fabian and Gideone Prewett were wandering about and talking to everyone like the gracious hosts they were. Alice Prewett stood by the window, hand in hand, with Frank Longbottom. Both of them were standing across from Lily Evans and Mary MacDonald. Dorcas Meadowes and René Abbott were talking and sitting on the window sill. Emmeline Vance and Marlene McKinnon were sharing a drink and moving over to join Lily, Alice and Frank. Marcus, Oliver, Emmanuel, and Genevieve were standing in a circle laughing and smiling.

And then there were The Marauders. They stood in the center of the room, talking to anyone and everyone who wanted to talk to them.

Under the same roof, undergoing the same threat, it created a sense of comradeship. Together facing the threat unified them stronger than any normal circumstance would have. The Marauders respected that.

Remus caught Lily alone for a moment so the two took a moment to talk alone. It was nice to have a conversation with Lily after going most of the summer without speaking a word to her.

Lily constantly ran a hand through her red hair. She looked agitated and wound up but she could not show it. She looked around with her emerald eyes as sharp as emerald, itself, and observed silently as she stood beside Remus. Something about him just made her feel at home and comfortable.

She had lost Severus over the summer. She was not trying to replace Severus but more trying to preserve the friendships she still had. She brushed off her shirt and leaned against Remus, wrapping her arms around his waist from the side and just listened to his soothing voice.

"What is it with you and going on about the Daily Prophet?" Liky asked, raising her eyebrows.

Remus just groaned and leaned against the wall. "What isn't wrong with the Daily Prophet?"

Lily could not disagree there but she kept her eyes searching on Remus, her gaze locking onto his. She finally gave in and pulled something from her pocket. It was a folded up and ragged looking piece of parchment. Remus pointed at it curiously, tilting his head to one side.

"It's a note," Lily said with a deflating sigh. "I got it on February 14th."

Remus's eyebrows shot way up in surprise as he took the letter and unfolded it. He read the letter to himself, surprised.

"You kept this?" Remus finally asked when he was done reading. "Really?"

"Okay! So I liked the originality," Lily huffed then dragged a hand down her face and groaned theatrically. "What is happening to me, Remus?"

"Blimey, I have no idea!" Remus exclaimed and shook his head in disbelief. "Beats me."

"Speaking of which, guess who got her meaty little hands on this," Lily said, shaming her head dismay.

"Who?" Remus asked.

"Petunia," they said together.

"She just...irks me now," Lily sighed. "I wish she would just...listen to herself. She won't listen to me and she won't listen to anyone else. Maybe she should listen to herself, yeah?"

"Yeah, absolutely," Remus said soothingly. "As much as I hate to say it and I know you won't admit it either, but she is jealous."

"I...know," Lily confessed quietly.

Lily nor Remus could say anything else before both Prewett twins and Frank and Alice came over to join them by the drinks. Remus and Lily eased into conversations with the whole group before Fabian, a little drunker than usual, blurted out:

"So, how was it?"

Remus looked rather taken aback and even more confused at Fabian's random outburst. He knit his eyebrows and tilted his head to one side in genuine questioning. Fabian rolled his eyes and said a little louder:

"Doing her?"

Now both Lily and Alice had their heads turned to Remus, who had immediately started blushing and looking agitatedly at Fabian.

"Peter told me," Fabian explained.

Peter was so dead. He was going to be a dead rat.

"How am I supposed to respond to that?" Remus snorted, shrugging awkwardly to break the awkward tension and silence.

"You actually hooked up with another girl?" Lily asked in disbelief, turning to face Remus.

He hated the way she looked at him now. It seemed like she was seeing him differently now and it kind of bothered him. But what could he do? But Alice was looking at him strangely, too, like both of them could not believe he could ever so something like that. It made him even feel a little defiant against the two. He was perfectly capable of being like his friends.

"It was meaningless," Remus reassured them.

"Wow," Lily said, suddenly sounding unimpressed. "Why even bother if it was meaningless?"

"It was just...casual. It's not like we were trying to pursue anything else that night. Besides, I was just thinking if I did this...girl, I could—"

"Could what, Remus?" Lily asked, raising an eyebrow and folding her arms over her chest.

"Oh, haven't you...ever had that desire before? To be...normal?" Remus said, trying to make her understand.

His motive that night was to feel normal. He wanted to feel like a normal teenager at Hogwarts and he wanted to know what Sirius always bragged about. It made him curious and it drove him into some wild decision making. Remus was never one to really... _compete_ with his friends in anything like that since he never had or shown any interest before. That night, when Remus laid in bed with that girl, Zephyr, he felt marginally taller...better. _More human._

"Wow, Remus," Lily said again, putting a hand on her hip. "I have to say, that is one of the stupidest things you have admitted to doing. Merlin knows what else you do you have not told me."

Remus was taken aback but in his mind, he felt it warranted.

"Haven't you just wanted to prove someone wrong?" Remus said, trying to reason with her now.

"Yes, but I want to prove people wrong the right way," Lily said, looking rather saddened and disappointed in Remus.

"I—me—I finally got to beat Pron–James in something," Remus said and put a hand on his chest. "Me, the weird one of the four of us. The ugly one."

Lily just looked at Remus like he had grown a second head. She could not believe her ears but here he was, just...like his friends.

"I finally beat James to something. It actually felt amazing no matter how meaningless it was or whatever," Remus said, trying to explain it the best he could.

"Remus," Lily said suddenly very sharply.

"I am fully capable of being like everyone else. For once...once, I beat Prongs in...in something. For once! And Sirius just...always brags about how he wins all the girls and their attention. He always brags about how great he is. He even looks good sounding and being vain. I finally beat...James to this, which showed Sirius—"

"Remus!" Lily snapped, suddenly heated and agitated. "Do _you_ ever stop to listen to yourself? You know what? You and I are friends. You could have asked me to help you with Sirius's bragging and your low self esteem. You could have _talked_ to me about it! I would have done anything for you, Remus, include have sex with you so at least it _would_ be meaningful. At least I would have the decency to lose my virginity to someone I care about—something you, obviously, did not care enough about."

Remus's jaw dropped.

"You know the few things I liked about you? You were always such a winning loser. Who knew you'd be such a losing winner?"

Remus fell silent as Lily continued.

"And do you know what, Remus? You were one in millions to me but all you care about is being one of millions."

With that, Lily took back James's note and walked away. Remus did feel a little more than guilty at his rash actions from before. He let Sirius's words get the better of him and it clouded his better judgement. But what shocked him the most was what Lily had admitted to him. She was willing to have intercourse with him to help him...willingly...without any bribery. Remus would have never expected Lily to say that but there she was and there she did.

But what shocked Remus the most was not her ire thrown at him but the lack of ire thrown at the person she was now talking to. It looked like they were having a normal conversation but the way James's expression held a stifled smile, it must have been about something James liked.

Lily held out something in her hand, which Remus assumed was the note. James chuckled heartily, the little shake of his shoulders indicated that, and the little twitch of Lily's lips told Remus they were talking about the note.

"Okay, Potter," Lily said and waved the note about in his face. "I admit, it's not bad. It's not terrible. It's a load less cliché than I would have bet for."

 _Lilies are white, azaleas are blue_

 _Funny thing is, I'm still in love with you_

 _Roses are red, er—birds have wings,_

 _I am running out of things to sing_

 _So I've written this rhyme_

 _To waste your time_

 _But will you be mine?_

 _—James C. Potter_

"What _is_ your middle name anyway?" Lily asked curiously. Curious as she was though, she tried to make it sound like she wasn't.

"Cicero," James replied with a nod, "James Cicero Potter."

Lily hummed, almost smiling. "I like that."

James flicked his eyebrows upward with a little smile and shoved his hands in the pockets of his pants. Lily combed a finger through her hair and folded the note and put it back in her back pocket. She gave him a little nod.

"Well, Potter," she said. "...'Bye then."

James waved goodbye as Lily walked off, only to be snagged by the arm by a thin but firm hand. Lily opened her mouth to protest but she was cut off when she saw who it was. Instantly, her eyes turned from bright to agitated when she saw Remus scowling.

"What are you playing at, Lily?" Remus asked, drawing his eyebrows together with a sort of irritated expression. "I know you're angry at me but that is no reason to go messing with my friends. You do realise I would realise what you are doing?"

"Great, then tell me because I sure as hell don't know what you are going on about now," Lily said impatiently, putting a hand on her hip.

"Why are you jesting James this close to heart?" Remus demanded in a low voice so as not to bring awareness to their conversation.

Lily raised both eyebrows, unimpressed. "You think I was talking to him because I wanted to get back at you? While I do feel flattered you think of me as that clever, I didn't. I talked to Potter because I wanted to tell him about the note."

"You hated it and you hate James," Remus pointed out dryly.

"I never said that changed, now did I?" Lily said heatedly, tilting her chin up at Remus.

"This isn't you," Remus insisted but his tone turned gentle. "What happened, Lily?"

Those kind words and encouraging demeanor, a gentle and caring one, the one that purely defined Remus, unlocked her tears as she shook her head mutely.

"It's okay," Remus said.

He led her outside on the front porch where no cars went by and the streetlights made pools of orange of the cement of the road. The night was tranquil and the music was softer outside, just background noise it seemed like. Lily and Remus sat on the porch stairs and Remus pulled out something from his pocket.

"Just this once," Remus promised.

He held out Sirius's pack of cigarettes and offered one to Lily. She looked at them with a wary eye before she gave in and accepted one.

" _Opius_ is the incantation that clears the smoke from your lungs but it doesn't rid your body of the nicotine," Remus said and pulled one out for himself.

Lily stuck the cigarette in between her teeth as Remus pulled out his lighter. With a flickering flame, he lit both ends then exhaled quickly so as not to burn his lungs. Lily did not quite get what to do at first for she started coughing immediately after inhaling.

"Inhale when I light it then exhale quickly afterward," Remus instructed and blew out rings of smoke.

Lily looked at him with a bit of a shocked expression. "Wait, how do you know how to do _that_?"

Remus tapped the ashes off the cigarette and took another long drag, feeling the warmth of the smoke soothe his body. Lily continued to try until she got the hang of it. For a while, they sat and talked about nothing much but then Lily started going on about her home life. Remus bet it was from the nicotine.

"So, what happened, really?" Remus asked curiously but casually.

"Well..."

* * *

"Lily!"

Lily heard the shriek of her name and opened the door to see Petunia standing right outside it with a glare on her face and her arms folded over her chest.

"What, Petunia?" Lily asked politely.

"I am inviting Vernon over," Petunia seethed.

"Oh?" Lily said, looking and waiting for an elaboration.

"And I do not want to see your freak stuff all over the house!"

Lily raised an eyebrow in surprise then sighed, deciding it was not worth fighting her sister over. She slipped past her sister and went to clean up her Hogwarts textbooks and quills and ink bottles. She rolled up the parchments she had brought home and brought it all back upstairs to her room.

When she returned, however, Petunia was looking through her stuff. Lily, outraged, dropped everything on her bed and grabbed Petunia's arm.

"Let go of me!" Petunia screeched like she was being branded.

"Then get away from my stuff," Lily snapped, pulling her sister away from her desk.

"Then what are you hiding?" Petunia sneered and curled her lip back.

"I'm hiding anything, Petunia," Lily said with a roll of her emerald eyes.

Petunia rolled her eyes, too, then pulled something from behind her back. Lily's eyes went from narrowed to wide in a matter of seconds when she realised what exactly her sister was holding. Lily gasped with indignation but Petunia already had her meaty little hands on the letter Lily did her best to hide.

"What is this? A note from your lover?" Petunia sneered and waved the letter into Lily's face. "From..from that freak that lives by us? That _Snape_?"

" _No_!" Lily shouted, growing angrier by the minute.

It hurt her heart emotionally and physically to think about Severus Snape. They had gotten into a fight and had not talked since that day he called her a "Filthy Mudblood". The loss of her childhood friend was taking its toll on Lily in more ways than one.

She had turned into more of a workaholic, always studying. She refused to come out of her room on some days. She talked less and quieter, she had become more docile than the spirited Lily the family knew her as.

"Wait, this is from a James C. Potter!" Petunia exclaimed and read the letter. Her shoulders drooped at the love letter but it quickly vanished as she waved the letter back in Lily's face. "Can you believe this? How many more freaks do you have lined up to get a taste of you?"

"Excuse me?" Lily said, taken aback and now definitely angry.

"You heard me," Petunia sneered then narrowed her eyes viciously. "That is all you are going to get, Lily Evans. That is all you are going to get—freaks."

"You wouldn't be calling him a freak if you saw his face," Lily shouted then realised what she had just said. She flushed red but she was determined.

Did she just willingly admit James Potter was... _attractive_?

When the doorbell rang, both sisters looked at each other then split ways. Lily was planning her revenge and Petunia went to get the door. It was pretty obvious who was the prettier sister and it seemed like Petunia was self conscious about that. Lily knew it was wrong to play this game but she dressed herself in a very...different outfit.

She wore very short shorts to show off her smooth legs then wore an oversized gray sweatshirt. She went downstairs with her hair tied back. She pushed the hem of her sweatshirt up to reveal a flat stomach as she walked past Vernon and Petunia.

Lily Evans had looks and brains.

Vernon was a plump lad, none very good looking either, and he had a temper worse than a wild boar. Lily pointedly went to the refrigerator to get something to eat. She could not only feel Vernon's gaze on her but she could feel Petunia's glare.

Lily continued on her casual actions as she searched through the refrigerator, looking for something she actually wanted to eat. It was between a box of dry cereal or a a piece of raspberry swirl cheesecake.

"Reckon I should have the cheesecake?" Lily asked, turning around and asking seriously.

"That's Mum's," Petunia answered, also seriously, seemingly forgetting to be bitter to Lily. "I say go for it."

Lily hummed softly and took the slice out, grabbing a fork and beginning to eat. Lily stood in the kitchen for a bit just to add some more awkward tension before she pushed off from leaning against the counter and waved as she walked out.

 **.oOo.**

"Lily, what are you wearing?" her father asked.

Lily's parents came home to see her wearing hardly any pants on and were confused, disappointed, and quite annoyed with her.

"Can't I wear what I want?" Lily asked innocently.

"Not when it is as suggestive as that," her father said.

Lily's parents, Yvonne and Herman Evans, were one of the nicest parents but when it came to their daughters, things were a little different. They had high expectations for their daughters and put all their faith in them. Lily felt both loved and stressed that her parents put so much pressure on her to turn out all right.

No one knew that she was spiraling down.

Lily did not say anything but she was feeling sore and sad. She did not know what to do other than study and she could study only so much in the Muggle world. She needed to preoccupy herself yet this summer was turning out to be one of the longest ones yet. She felt isolated and lonely, reaching out to Remus only to throw the letters away shortly after being written.

 _Remus,_

 _Hi, it's me. I am just looking for someone to talk to. I know I can with you. I haven't treasured our friendship like I should have but I miss you._

 _Remus,_

 _I was hoping we could get together sometime. I know what happened over the summer between you and your cousin. I'm sorry. I wish I could help. I want to help._

 _Remus,_

 _I_

 _Remus,_

 _We_

 _Remus,_

 _You_

 _Remus,_

The letters Lily were going to write did not even end up starting past the second letter or word. She felt too...forced. Lily was feeling pretty lonely by this point of time and was looking for someone to talk to, to reach out to. She thought going to this party, she could see Remus and finally talk to him about the things she tried putting into her letters.

* * *

"I'm here," Remus promised, taking another long drag. "I'll always listen."

"I know," Lily said, dejected. "I just feel so isolated and you of all people should know why that feels like. Right, Remus? Haven't you ever just wanted someone to talk to?"

"Of course I have," Remus said, "and I do talk and reach out. I have you, James, Peter, Sirius..."

Lily sighed and leaned a ahead on his shoulder. "I just don't want to go home but also I do."

Remus suddenly rose to his feet and held out a hand for Lily. "Retire early for the night."

"Do you _know_ how much trouble we would get into if we tried using magic again?"

"We only used a small incantation for the cigarettes. Apparation is different," Remus promised. "Let's go home."

Lily took Remus's hand gratefully and disappeared with a whoosh than a crack. Remus felt that familiar suffocating feeling until his legs hit solid ground. He and Lily were top of the Apparation class and had been approved the very first assessment. And there it was, they stood at Lily Evans's driveway to her pert suburban home.

Lily guided them both up to the front door where she checked to see who was home. It seemed like they were all home, which made Remus feel marginally more nervous, but Lily pushed her door open and walked in. Her father greeted her with a smile and her mother waved politely. But that was because they did not see Remus at first.

When the boy walked in, their faces changed slightly. But it was a more questioning look rather than a disapproving look. Remus shrunk in on himself at the sight of Lily's parents but Petunia, who was with Vernon, her parents must have been a little more lenient.

"Remus, what a pleasure," Yvonne said and rose to her feet. "Hi, welcome back."

"Thank you," Remus said politely.

"We're going upstairs," Lily said and tugged Remus up the stairs.

Remus did not hear what the parents had to say about that but he was already out of sight anyway. Lily guided Remus to her bedroom before shutting the door and drawing the blinds but opening the window wide open. It looked like an average bedroom though Remus was not sure what to really expect anyway.

"Sit," Lily said and shed her jacket. "Do you mind if I change?"

Remus shook his head and turned away as Lily shut off the lights and changed. When she turned them back on, she was wearing what seemed to be modest shorts and a sweatshirt. She sat down on the bed beside Remus and laid on her stomach, looking out the window. Remus emulated her and looked at the dark sky.

Lily hummed softly before taking Remus's arm and pulling him close. She positioned Remus on his back then laid beside him, her head resting on his chest.

"Won't your parents be mad?" Remus asked softly.

Lily just shrugged the best she could with Remus's arm around her. Remus turned to look at her carefully. While most would consider this intimate romantically, that was not how Remus saw it...nor Lily. Or...well, Remus did not see it as romantically intimate.

"They know it's platonic," Lily reassured.

So, Remus concluded, she felt it was nothing romantic either, which made everything so much easier. They laid like that for a few minutes before Lily rolled on top of him and platfully sat on his lega to pin him down.

"I think I'm stronger than you but you think you're stronger than me," she said. "Let's settle this, then."

"What?" Remus asked in disbelief.

"You and me. Whoever can pin the other down first wins," Lily said simply.

Lily put her hands on Remus's chest and leaned in. "I'm winning."

Remus rolled his eyes when the door burst open and Petunia came stalking into her room, pointing a finger at Remus.

"Get off the bed," she instructed but more like demanded.

Remus sprang off the bed and moved a mile away from Lily. Lily sat on her bed defiantly and challenged Petunia's glare with her own.

"Don't tell my friends what to do," Lily said at once.

"Watch me," Petunia said and began rounding on Remus.

"Then maybe I should tell Mum and Dad you've been sleeping with Vernon."

Remus did not need to hear this. He started inching towards the door but Lily got there first. She stormed out with Remus then practically barreled into Vernon on her way out. Vernon let out an exclamation of protest and instantly lumbered after Lily, which surprised Remus in all the wrong ways.

The lanky boy put his arms around the girl and turned, exposing his back for the grunt and accidental blow. Remus definitely felt that but he let Lily take him downstairs and out the back door where they could be safe within the shadows of the large trees and bushes.

"Sorry, Vernon has bad reflexes," Lily said quietly.

Remus just shrugged it off like it was no big deal. To him, it truly was not but to her, maybe it was. He looked at Lily carefully before she spoke again.

"Thank you. For protecting me back there."

"That's what my friends and I do, yeah," Remus said gently. "We protect."

Lily could not argue there. She had seen The Marauders get fired up whenever they were in defensive mode and it even took _her_ by surprise.

"What now?" Remus asked.

"Dunno," Lily said with a little shrug. "I'm not going back in there."

"Then let's...take you back to see if who you'd be willing to crash the night with," Remus suggested logically.

Lily wove their fingers as they apparated back.

* * *

 **Sneak Preview into the future:**

"Potter, I want you to snog me."

"I'm sorry, _what_?"

 **.oOo.**

 **Padfoot123321: My favorite is Peter because he is so easily misconstrued. I know that it is cliché but they are all my favorite. Hey, I hope you have been thinking about making an account. I would love to PM you. You and I, I can tell, are going to be great friends.**

 **RoboTitaness: Hahaha. I thought it'd be ironic.**

 **Guest: Here is the next chapter as promises. Also, how do you want to be addressed other than guest? I feel bad because you are such an avid reader of this story, I feel bad calling you "Guest" all the time.**


	6. SECTUMSEMPRA!

**All rights remain.**

The whistle screeched as the train lurched forward. Nestled in the front and very first compartment was The Marauders with their book bags on their benches, serving as a pillow. They had finally boarded the Hogwarts Express to start their school year—their sixth year...of seven.

It was a rather uneventful summer after the party. The Marauders continued to mess around, hang around the Manor, went to the beach at one point, and hang around in the country side. The Potter family always got the latest updates on what was occurring in the Wizarding World. It was impossible to go a day without hearing about someone's death.

"Did you all know Evans talked to me?" James said proudly.

"What...what did she say?" Remus asked curiously though he tried not to sound curious.

"She asked me about the note poem thing I sent her on Valentine's Day this year," James said then added, "she told me her sister got a hold of it and then asked me what my middle name was."

Remus wondered what Lily was playing at and was dying to know what her true intentions of talking to James was. The problem was, Remus wanted to assume she was just trying to lead James on and use him as a revenge act against Remus's poor choice in losing his virginity to a stranger. But looking farther into it, Lily was simply not the person to use people like that. This left Remus puzzled and lost.

"Hey, I just remembered Remus is a Prefect. That means he can still cover for us when we pull some major pranks," Sirius said and tapped his foot against the floor. "Speaking of pranks, we need to make one or the first years."

"I'm in," James said immediately.

" _Innocent_ first years. Stop poisoning the minds of our youth," Remus chided without ever taking his eyes off his book.

Sirius snorted but leaned back against the compartment bench, kicking his feet up and Remus's knees, gauging for a reaction that would set off the ever so level headed Remus John Lupin. Remus just glared at Sirius over the top of his book then resumed his reading.

"Do you remember when we first met?" James said suddenly, looking at his friends with a bit of a smile.

"Yeah, it happened here," Sirius said and pointed at James. "You and I were talking about what house we were going into. Then Moony and Wormtail came in and the magic of friendship happened."

"Magic, eh?" Remus said, amusement lacing his voice. "I'd say by opening our mouths and talking we became friends with each other. But that's just me."

Sirius let out a bark of laughter. He smiled lazily and started tapping Remus's leg with the heel of his foot or tapping his toe against Remus's book. But, Remus was blessed with patience and therefore he did not feed Sirius any reaction.

"I'm bored!" Sirius exclaimed, groaning far too theatrically for it to be genuine.

"What do you want me to do about that?" Remus snorted, looking at Sirius over the rim of his book.

"James and Peter fell asleep!" Sirius raged, pointing at the two friends asleep. "It's not even an hour into the bloody train ride!"

Remus snorted and lifted the book back to the level of his eyes, rolling them with slight agitation. Sirius did have a bad tendency to be dramatic when the time did not call for it. But perhaps that was a more endearing quality about Sirius all at the same time.

"Talk to me, Moony," Sirius said and looked at the cover of Remus's stupid book. No one cared about _War and Peace_ or Leo Tolstoy, whoever that was.

"About?" Remus drawled, turning the page. It was an interesting book he found at his house, in his room, and realized he had read this last year but never retained any of it.

"Life, love, whatever," Sirius practically begged, folding his arms over his chest. The Black heir, as handsome as he was, looked like a child pouting.

"I have a nice life. I have three rather mad friends. I have a relatively normal life. I have no love interest, and miscellaneous falls under the 'whatever' category," Remus answered in order and flipped the page.

Sirius scowled and looked out the window, evidently trying to make the time go by staring out the window. As if that was going to help. Remus set his book down and curled into the corner of the compartment, getting ready to sleep when something smacked him in the face. It was kind of warm, slimy, and definitely rancid smelling.

"Get off!" Remus groaned, trying to push an oversized black dog off his lap.

Sirius wagged his tail and put his hind paws on Remus's knees, effectively climbing on top of Remus and laying on the other's legs.

"Get off," Remus repeated, trying and failing to push Sirius off his legs, which were going numb from the added weight.

"There is no need to be rude," Sirius said as he changed back.

Remus gave him one last shove, effectively pushing Sirius to the compartment ground. Remus looked at the book, crinkled in the little struggle. He sighed and pointed at Sirius.

"You owe me a new copy."

Sirius rolled his eyes and sat back down on his side of the bench, looking at Remus with a sort of wicked smile of amusement. Remus did his best to try and ignore his friend but Sirius was certainly hard to ignore, especially with all the tapping he was doing.

"What, Padfoot? What do you want?" Remus sighed, giving in.

"So, who was this Zephyr?" Sirius asked impishly, wiggling his eyebrows. "Was she good in bed? Did she have a nice face?"

"Now how am I supposed to answer that?" Remus snorted, going back to his reading though his brain just did not seem to want to retain anything he was trying to read.

"Well, you answer the question," Sirius said in an innocent tone.

"Yeah, like I am going to answer that," Remus said with a shake of his head. "What is it with you and sex anyway? What is so interesting about it?"

"It's not so much sex," Sirius corrected with a small smile, "it has more to do with who."

Remus gave Sirius a look.

"Sorry, I'm not giving you the dirty details, mate," Remus said with a small shrug.

Sirius seemed to give in for now as he let the subject drop. For about five minutes, there was a comfortable silence until Sirius perked up and asked.

"Why did you do it?"

Remus looked up from the page and stared at Sirius over the rim of his book. This question he received many a times before, he could never settle on an answer he really liked. Remus shrugged casually instead.

"I just wanted to feel...normal, maybe?"

"What do you mean, Moony?" Sirius asked, note very curious. "You are normal, you just have a twist to your like story."

Remus really did appreciate how his friends did their best to make him feel anything remotely human but there mindset of being nothing but a Dark Creature, an animal, a beast...how could anyone feel like they wetter human when the rest of society stamped you out and branded you?

"Moony?" Sirius said in a more quiet tone.

"Human, Padfoot," Remus said and sighed, "it is all I am going to get in my life. Fleeting moments, yeah?"

Sirius held those words to heart, engraving them into his mind so he corks remember that always. Sirius was a firm believer Remus was going to find love. Who couldn't love this bright and witty friend, loyal to the core.

"We'll see," Sirius said hopefully.

 **.oOo.**

James and Peter woke up around an hour later, grumbling about how Remus and Sirius talked way to much and how they barely got any sleep.

"But now that we are all up, who wants to walk around?" Sirius said in an announcer's voice. He had been stuck in the compartment for far too long and he was getting fidgety.

"Yeah, I'll go with you," Remus said and rose to his feet stiffly. Everything was sore from sitting there and not moving.

"Hey, don't you have Prefect duties?" Peter mumbled blearily. He say to from where he was leaning on his book bag and looked at Remus.

"Yeah, but that is not until later," Remus said and slid the compartment door open, only to take a step back in surprise.

Greeting then gave to face was Lily Evans. She had her red hair tied back though there were stray stands of hair that framed her face. She wore her uniform already and had that Prefect badge polished and worn proudly.

"Oh?" Remus said in surprise.

"I've been looking for you," she said to Remus.

"Our meeting had been moved from 7:00 to 6:30. Be there," Lily said but not unkindly.

Remus nodded in understanding before her noticed how her green gaze flickered to James before moving back to meet Remus's gaze.

"Okay," Remus said and nodded. "Well then I'll see you—"

"—Evans!" James exclaimed, his hand automatically going to his hair. "So I was —"

"—no."

"That was quick," Sirius said as the compartment door slammed shut.

James let out an exasperated groan and leaned back into the bench, looking dejected. Remus bit his lip.

"I know what will work," Remus said quietly. "Stop with the ego."

With that, he left the compartment, leaving James to ponder that with a sense of curiosity. He did not know how to respond to that at first but the more he thought about it the more he understood. James had to admit he got a bit arrogant around Evans but it was only meant to impress her. He never did understand how it just annoyed her.

Sirius, the great person he was, tried his hardest not to laugh but he kept having to stifle the laughter in his hands. Remus's bluntness always made him laugh and the way James looked made it seem like he finally just realised how much Evans hated his act. Sirius knew it was wrong to laugh but he did anyway, unable to help it really.

"Sorry, sorry," Sirius said, trying to wave a hand. "I'm better now, I swear."

James just rolled his eyes and ran a hand through his hair.

 **.oOo.**

Remus followed Lily down the train corridor, keeping up with her rapid pace. She swung her hair over her shoulder then whipped around so fast, Remus had to hold her around the waist to stop them from crashing to the ground.

"What?" Remus said breathlessly.

"It's Potter—again!" Lily fumed but she sounded different than her usual ire. "He just...he thinks he can get away with anything."

"Well—er—"

"Huh. 'Oh, look at me! I'm James Bloody Potter, the arrogant toerag who can get away with anything'," Lily said, supposedly imitating James. She leaned back to get that manly stance and lowered her voice, using wild and weird hand gestures.

"What—what was _that_?" Remus said, cracking up.

"I was imitating Potter," Lily said defiantly though her eyes glimmered.

"You...sounded all nasally and what—what was that thing you were doing with your hands?" Remus said through his fit of laughter.

"That's how he talks," Lily exclaimed, bursting out in laughter, too. "He talks with his hands, a lot!"

Lily's eyes widened when she realised she just admitted to taking note on what Potter does when he talks. She didn't want to give Remus the wrong impression so she pointed at him and laughed again.

"I have my imitation of you down perfectly," she added truthfully.

"Should I be worried?" Remus asked with a smile. "Or more concerned you actually _do_ notice James?"

"And so I said 'Prongs, you always win in Quidditch. Stop spending so much time practicing and more time studying'," Lily said, holding her hair back in a bun with a smile. "Accurate?"

"Alarmingly so," Remus said earnestly.

Both Lily and Remus burst out laughing again, leaning on each other for support as they struggled to get air into their lungs.

"But I sound nothing like that," Remus gasped.

"Close enough!" Lily said and pushed him playfully.

Remus leaned against the wall closest to him and folded his arms over his chest. There was something different about Lily, something he could not quite place but it was something he almost recognised. She looked back at him with her eyebrows raised.

"Now what?" Lily asked, looking right back at Remus.

"Nothing," Remus reassured and threw up his hands in surrender. "Have you—what are your plans for this year? What classes are you taking? Oh! How did you do on your OWLs?"

"Almost all Outstandings and two Exceeds Expectations. One in History of Magic and the other in Transfiguration. That class is nearly impossible and if I hadn't gone to do the extra credit, I would not have gotten that good of a grade."

Lily paused in her rant and narrowed her bright green eyes at him.

"What?" Remus asked, actually confused.

"So, why are Potter, Pettigrew, and Black all so good at Transfiguration yet never seem to pay attention in that class anymore?"

"Dunno, if I did, I would be either loads more or loads less jealous," Remus said smoothly.

Lily looked slightly suspicious but she merely shrugged and sighed. "I'd say it was luck."

"Lily, James's wand was made specially for Transfiguration," Remus pointed out fairly, "he is bound to do well in that class if his wand is specialised for it. And anyway, isn't your end especially made for Charms?"

"Yes but I am good at that class because of my talent, not because of my wand, Remus," Lily huffed irritably, shaking her head crossly.

"You are really going out of your way to pick on James," Remus observed, "is there any reason why?"

Lily looked affronted.

"I am not. I am stating factual observations!"

"So am I."

Lily looked at Remus in surprise before she shook her head. "I will see you for Prefect duties."

 **.oOo.**

The train ride otherwise was rather uneventful, much to the disappointment of James's and Sirius. The two friends were getting agitated being "caged" up in the compartment for so long. They were getting restless, something Remus could tell, from all the energy stored up.

Finally, finally, the Hogwarts Express came to a slow halt, the whistle blowing loudly as the locomotive released the steam.

"Merlin, thank you!" Sirius exclaimed and seized his book bag, rushing out.

The Marauders sauntered to the carriages, pulled by the the thestrals, and clambered on. It was not until they, or more so Sirius and James, saw who was boarding the carriage behind them. With identical wicked grins, Sirius and James nodded to each other.

"Oh, for Merlin's sake, please, if it is Snape, leave him be," Remus groaned but a little more firmly this time. "Padfoot, no—"

Too late.

Sirius was already making his way to the carriage behind theirs and sneered at Snape, who was trying his damn hardest to ignore the oncoming troublemakers. James followed Sirius close behind and had his hand on his wand inside his pocket, remembering last time how Snape did fight back.

"Long time, no see," Sirius drawled with a mischievous smile. "Two...three months it has been. Oi, tell me. How are those graying underpants?"

"Not funny, Black," Snape said through gritted teeth, sounding strained and agitated already. "I heard what happened already with you and your family, Black."

He paused and looked up at Sirius.

"Your mother is great."

Sirius's face had gone from arrogant to pale in the matter of seconds. He narrowed his eyes maliciously and pointed at Snape with a growl.

"Did Regulus tell you?"

Snape just looked at Sirius, remaining silent. He even looked uninterested in the conversation, opposite of how Sirius was reacting. Sirius looked livid.

"I swear, _Snivellus,_ do not talk about my mother," Sirius snarled, looking more like the menacing bear-sized black dog he was.

"What? Are you even allowed to call Mrs. Black your mother?" Snape said, so horribly caustic. He seemed to have taken the advantage if finding Sirius's weak spot and hitting him mercilessly there and doing so with pleasure.

"At least I don't have a hooked-nose father and a powerless, useless, mother," Sirius shot right back.

Remus, who had chosen to walk with the carriages with Peter, could feel the tension crackling like fire. He saw James tense, readying himself in case something happened; Sirius was already looking for a fight, egging Snape on to give him an excuse to punch.

"At least I have a mother—"

Snape never got to finish his sentence for Sirius had lunged. But, instead of throwing the first punch, Sirius threw his weight into Snape, catching the bloke off guard, and pushed Snape right over the edge of the carriage.

Snape grabbed on to the only available thing he could reach in that half a second. His fingers latched on to Sirius's wrists and they both went down. Remus, who was walking on that side during the time, jumped back when the two hit the ground.

James leaped from the carriage on Peter's side and rushed over to watch the scene unfurl. Peter went in first, trying to pry Snape and Sirius apart for they were both sending painful blows to one another, not caring how busted their knuckles were or how bruised they were.

Remus dived in next, driving Snape into the ground by the shoulders as Peter pulled Sirius off, who was still struggling. Snape struggled underneath Remus's pinned weight but the werewolf had his feet on Snape's wrists and his forearm against Snape's throat.

James put a hand on Sirius's chest and tried pushing him backward, stepping in front of Sirius to block Snape from his view. Peter still held on to Sirius's arms as the other cursed and spit names at Snape.

"What do you think you're playing at?" Remus barked to Snape as if he had grown a second head. "Don't talk about his family like you know them personally. _You don't_."

"How about you don't tell me what to do, _werewolf."_

"What are you, ten?" Remus scoffed, unimpressed. "Get over yourself, Snape."

Sirius calmed down enough that Peter could release him without being worried his friend would pummel the grease ball. James turned in time to see Remus get off Snape and put his arm out to stop Snape from advancing at his friend.

" _Stupefy_!"

Sirius's spell flew right past Snape and went right for Remus instead. The mis-aimed incantation hit Remus in the chest, causing him to crumple to the ground—knees buckling, falling to the side, and playing unconscious.

"Shite—"

Sirius never got to finish his sentence before Snape had his wand out and was trying to brandish it. Peter, who was reviving Remus the best he could, shoved Snape as hard as he could before any more spells could be cast.

However, Snape was still fast.

" _Sectumsempra_!"

The spell was a blast of a dim, white light. It was barely a flash but the affects of the spell were much, much more severe. The spell missed Sirius, mis-aiming was a common problem, but it did find itself a new target. James.

The spell fired into James's abdomen and lower chest. Blood splattered into the air as if James had suddenly been slashed with a sword. He collapsed to the ground not long after that occurred and his eyes rolled back. He fell to the ground in a writhing mess of his own blood, gasping and twisting.

Remus was stirring enough to see James in a heap on the ground beside him...in a pool of his own blood. The angry snarl of Sirius was the second thing he heard and Peter's gasp of absolute shock and disbelief was the third thing Remus heard. The first thing he heard was the spell.

"What have you done?" Sirius demanded, going into panic attack. He threw himself on his knees besides James and put a hand over the gauge marks. The wound soaked his hand quickly with maroon blood.

But that was just it; Snape did not know how to answer. He had never used his newly invented spell so he never knew the severity in using it but he was not worried aboutJames. Hr was worried if his spell had its limitations.

"N-no, no," Sirius exclaimed, all traces of arrogance gone. "Prongs! James! Please!"

James was suffering from massive blood loss but Remus had raced over to James's other side and pulled out his wand, murmuring softly to himself. As Remus dragged the wand tip over James's ragged body, the wounds began to cease with the blood. It did not close the wounds, the sixth year was not advanced enough, but it did patch up some of the torn flesh.

Snape watched with a sense of curiosity. The incantation Remus was using must have triggered something in Snape's mind for he began formulating countercurse for his newly invented...curse. And, while Remus was concentrating, Snape was trying to figure out how to emulate that spell.

"Leave him unconscious," Remus instructed calmly, twirling his wand in his hand. "The heart pumps less blood when unconscious, which decreases the chances of him bleeding out again or something."

The sixth year did not even bother asking Snape how he knew such a powerful curse. He did not ask Snape what kind of Dark Magic he was dabbling in. He did not ask Snape anything, just plainly ignoring him.

"Oi. Padfoot."

Remus did not get an answer.

"Padfoot?"

Remus looked up.

"Paddy," he said gently.

Sirius was staring on, pale as a ghost, but this time it was the result of more...personal horrors—and less to do with his mother and more to do with his brother—not Regulus.

"He'll be fine," Remus promised, reading Sirius's mind. "It wasn't your fault."

Sirius just looked away, feeling like it was somehow his fault. If he hadn't egged Snape on like that...perhaps this all could have been avoided if he would stop taking everything so personally. Sirius did feel better blaming someone, even if that person was himself. He was the reason Remus accidentally got knocked unconscious with a stunning jinx...he was the reason James's chest lay open.

 _How could he not blame himself?_

Remus did most of the work, patching James up and getting him on their own carriage, which happened to be pretty far ahead. The carriage ride seemed much longer now that they needed to get to the castle quickly.

James's breathing had evened out a bit but the gauge wounds were still deep; Remus could smell his blood and hanging skin with his enhanced senses but heightened senses were not needed to determine the seriousness of the injuries.

When they reached the castle, they ignored everyone and raced James to the Infirmary, using a stretcher and levitating it. They knew the way to the Hospital Wing from anywhere in the castle, having had to go there as frequents.

The double, oaken doors were closed but Remus pushed them open and spotted Madam Pomfrey there. She did not look surprised to see Remus but she was certainly surprised to see it was not Remus who was the patient this time.

She gasped when she saw the blood staining James's shirt as they lowered him on to one of the beds.

" _What happened_?" she demanded.

* * *

 **Will the boys expose Snape's dirty secret and expose the fact they started it OR are they going to keep it a secret and keep themselves out of trouble, too?**

 **Padfoot123321: Exactly. Peter was just manipulated. And PM is private messaging. When you get an account, I will message you on fanfiction.**

 **Guest: That'd be great. I cannot wait. I hope you do decide to make an account! Also, I hope you enjoyed reading.**

 **KaiaRenkin: Yeahhhh...hahaha.**


	7. The Flower in the Dark

**All rights remain.**

 **Er...just a moment before you begin reading...please? Ace, okay! So, sorry this chapter is a bit shorter than the usual but here it is. I just barely had enough time to post it.** **Also—I'll just wait till we get to the end. Sorry for the hold up!**

 **Read on!**

"It was my fault," Sirius said quickly, looking properly ashamed at himself.

Madam Pomfrey looked at Sirius with her eyebrows raised, waiting for him to start explaining himself.

"I was experimenting with a spell I saw in my book and it accidentally pushed Pro—James off the carriage. On our carriage, there was a spoke loose and...it caught James in the chest."

The story was loose and rather unbelievable but Remus was praying and hoping and wishing and everything in between she would believe it.

"That was irresponsible of you," Madam Pomfrey said in disapproval. "I expected better of you because you certainly put your friend in serious harm."

"Will he be okay though?" Sirius asked worriedly, dreading the answer.

"Very sore, he will need..something like crutches to help him get around," Madam Pomfrey explained, looking at James and removing his shirt to take a better look at the horrible gashes. "But it could have been worse."

"How?" Sirius moaned, feeling ready to hurl himself off the Astronomy Tower.

"He could have bled out if one of you hadn't taken action."

* * *

Lily sat in the Great Hall, waiting for the arrival of her Prefect partner, but he never came. In fact, none of the four came during the Sorting or the feast. She was pretty annoyed at this point but she knew there must have been some stupid reason.

But then Lily began to wonder the more she thought about it. The first years did not look like they had any pranks pulled on them, The Marauders speciality, and Potter nor Black would ever miss a meal if they had a choice.

She pushed away the thoughts of confusion and rose to her feet when the feast was over. She raised her voice over the loud hum of a hundred different conversations and tried getting everyone's attention.

"Hey, hey," Lily said, catching their gazes now. "First years can follow me, if you would, please."

She began the tour, weaving expertly through different halls, taking the right turns, and going up as little flights of moving stairs as possible. She talks her way through the tour without a problem, instructing them how the portraits were more than willing to help. She finally came to the main Tower where most of the moving stairs were.

"Take caution with these stairs," Lily said and began walking up them, stopping at the top when they began moving and waiting until they connected to the right one. The staircase they were all one made a nice rotation and stopped right before a stationary staircase, which led right up to the Portrait of the Fat Lady.

"Hello, Miss Evans. Password?"

Lily smiled before turning around the to face the first years.

"This password will never be given out to anyone outside of Gryffindor, do you hear? Professor McGonagall will have an endless supply of punishments and detentions if you share this password. Try not forgetting it either because this door will not open without it."

Lily turned back to the Fat Lady.

"Afferte fortuna."

The Fat Lady nodded and swung the portrait door open; just as Lily was about to climb through, she could hear the footsteps of a running person. She smiled a little on default then remembered to look irritated at Remus as he came forth.

"Hello, all of you," Remus said a bit breathlessly. "Through there is what we call the Common Room. Oh, and you are currently standing in the Gryffindor Tower."

Lily did not react out, it would be immature, but she shot him an exasperated look. Remus mouthed _I will explain later_ and subtly shook his head, dismissing the subject for later. Lily reluctantly nodded and continued her speech.

Remus watched with heavy guilt in his gut for making her do this alone; he kept his gaze on her but did so heeding caution. When her speech was over and the first years dissipated, Remus waited until the Common Room was completely empty.

"I'm going to bed," Lily said, turning away.

Remus deflated completely, looking after her with a sad puppy dog look. Lily turned a bit and saw his dejection and her heart melted instantly.

"Hey," she said. "I'm not mad. Marlene did say something about seeing you and your friends heading out of the hospital wing."

Remus smiled softly as she pecked his cheek.

"Good night," Remus said.

"Night, Dove."

* * *

 _The wonders._

 _How the night enthrals us_

 _Makes us believe strange things._

Remus was falling rather quickly to a state of slumber. But...something kept him up tonight. He glanced subtly over at the clock, making out the time. It was 12:47 in the morning and someone was up. Remus stilled himself as he heard something else—a little whimper. It was a quick inhalation of the breath. It was short and crisp as if it was being stifled. Remus almost sat up but he wanted to investigate further without being detected.

There was a small and quiet sniffle before Remus heard the rustling of bedsheets. Someone, Remus could not quick make out who through the closed curtains of his bed, walked past his and went for the door. Remus held his breath and drew his eyebrows together, a sign of confusion and curiosity.

Suddenly, the movement stopped and a voice so quiet only the ones already awake could hear it say, "go to sleep."

The movement picked up again and the door swung shut.

* * *

Lily simply could not sleep that night. She stared at the ceiling of her dormitory, just begging the deities above to give her some peace of mind. Already, she was beginning to wonder why she ever agreed to take NEWT level courses. She had not yet even gone to a NEWT level class; she was already stressed out about the summer were ridiculous and frankly not even worth it.

Things have been hills and cliffs for her this year. She had considered life as it was now and realised there were so many things she had and so many things she lost.

But perhaps at 1:00 in the morning, this was simply not the time to ponder life choices and losses. Lily sighed and got out of bed, slipping on actual clothes. She changed into a sweatshirt and her uniform skirt, slipping on some shoes before sneaking out of her dormitory.

The castle was beautiful in the bright light for it stood tall and proud, harsh against the light of the day. But Lily found a different kind of beauty when the darkness fell and only the light came from the stars and the moon. Hogwarts turns tranquil and mysterious at night; it was like a completely different world at sun fall, exploring the grounds and castles at night was more favourable than during the day.

Lily had made her way up to the Astronomy Tower, her feet taking her to the place she loved to be in. It offered such a wondrous view and she could not get over just how breathtaking the world could be when one stood so high up. Lily pulled the sleeves over her hands as she grabbed onto the railing, jogging up the stairs. It was routine to head straight for the centerpiece of the Astronomy Tower but something was different tonight.

"Black?"

It was Sirius Black. He was sitting on the balcony's railing, one leg touching the balcony floor and the other dangling right off the edge. Even through the blackness of the night, she could see the hazy smoke swirl and twirl in the air, the gray dancing into the night. Lily knit her eyebrows, feeling in the Prefect inside her.

"What are you doing?" Lily demanded at once, folding her arms over her chest.

"Sitting," Sirius said and looked at her. "What are _you_ doing?"

Lily waved off the question as she wrinkled her nose. Sirius had blown the smoke inside and towards her—it smelled rancid but she said nothing upon it yet. Something seemed...different about Black. It almost frightened her. This was not the Black she always saw in the daytime. Sirius Black was an obnoxious, egoistical, no good, arrogant, jerk. She always saw Sirius Black with James Potter and the two of them would always find ways to get themselves into trouble just for attention.

But...that was during the day.

At night, this Sirius Black Lily was seeing was definitely much different. At night, this Sirius Black was tame and quiet, keeping to himself in a very introverted manner. His face was carefully neutral but not too blank. Something about him (perhaps it was his demeanor?) startled Lily into shock. This was simply not the Sirius Black she knew. And then it struck her like a bolt of lightning. Perhaps the Sirius Black she saw during the day was never the real Sirius Black.

"Evans?"

Lily snapped out of her daze and turned her gaze back to meet Sirius's gray eyes. They looked so much like Regulus's but Sirius's eyes were so much more...alive. _So, why did the eldest Black heir look so dead?_

"Hm?" Lily asked, knitting her eyebrows.

"I asked what you were doing up here," Sirius replied, taking another drag of his cigarette and blowing out through his nose.

"I...couldn't sleep so I thought a walk would do me some good. You know—"

"—clear the mind," the said together.

Lily looked at Sirius, startled. Sirius looked back at her with a much more neutral expression, cigarette between his teeth. What caught her off guard was not the fact he said the same exact thing as her but the fact Sirius had said it with more emotion than her. She figured there was something a bit darker beneath the bright and extroverted façade Sirius put on but she was not expecting so much depth.

"Yes..." she murmured softly.

Sirius nodded in understanding and went back to looking outside as if he could see every little detail despite the blackness. He took another drag of the cigarette and Lily had to admire the aesthetic scene of that brooding silhouette, the mystery of the stars flecking the endless black oblivion, and the telltale glow of a burning end of a midnight cigarette.

"I get it," Sirius said quietly, not turning back. "That's why I'm here."

Lily felt her curiosity nudge her again only harder and way more demanding. Despite her desperate attempts to stem it, she couldn't help but blurt out, "you smoke?"

Sirius knit his eyebrows the odd inquiry but he turned to look at Lily, eyes searching for something else. He nodded with a small shrug of one shoulder.

"Do you want one?" he asked her.

Lily put a hand on her chest to gesture to herself in questioning. She had often been told about the dangers of a cigarette and how for some, one stick could get a person hooked for years...maybe even life. She heard how over 7000 chemicals were in a cigarette and how it could easily coat the lungs in a black tar, slowly suffocating the life out of the person. She heard how cigarettes damage the mind, makes it less, destroys the memory, and on extreme cases, makes a person brain dead—

"Sure," she said.

Sirius pulled a cigarette from his pocket of his Hogwarts robes then pulled out a lighter. Lily really hated admitting it but she was innocent—very innocent and bygod, did that annoy her. She had only ever seen a cigarette in use on television or on those rare occasions Remus took a light when they were together. She never held a cigarette; she was even a bit unsure of how to use one.

"I don't bite," Sirius said, a little playfully.

"I know," Lily huffed and glared. But she never made a move to get the cigarette from Sirius's fingers. She desperately hoped he would not catch on.

"Oh," Sirius said softly. He caught on. "The stick won't bite either...here."

Sirius, who was done with his, stuck the burning butt against his wrist and put it out. He held it in his hand and vanished it with a simple incantation. He did not see Lily's jaw drop at his method of putting out the cigarette; he was busy motioning her over while getting the lighter to work.

"Lightning it is the hardest," he explained.

Lily walked cautiously over to Sirius, while keeping a very modest distance, and pushed her falling hair out of the way.

"Put the cigarette in your mouth," Sirius instructed, handing it to her.

Lily did as instructed but instead of him continuing, he shook his head and pulled the cigarette, placing it back the right way.

"That would have been disgusting," Sirius commented, almost... _almost_ with a ghost of a smile. His steady fingers flicked the lever of the lighter, his eyes concentrating on trying to produce the flame. "Sorry, it's a rubbish lighter. I had it for ages."

For some reason, this was simply torture for her. The anticipation of doing her first...bad or rebellious thing was making her fidgety and definitely nervous. She shifted from foot to foot, looking at the end sticking out of her mouth. The _click, click, click,_ of the lighter rang annoyingly loud in her ears before Sirius produced a high and bright orange and blue flame.

Lily jumped back in surprise, almost dropping the cigarette in surprise, but managed to recompose herself to make it less noticeable. Sirius seemingly decided not to comment on her nervousness but rather focused on lighting the end.

"Inhale then exhale quickly," Sirius said, leaning back.

Lily sucked in rather deeply and instantly started coughing, putting a hand to her chest as she tried to catch her breath. The smoke made it feel as if she just scorched her throat, chest, and all the way down to her lungs. It tasted like she swallowed hot ash.

"It's disgusting," Lily gasped, regaining her breath. "How can you smoke that?"

"You get this amazing nicotine buzz," Sirius explained and nodded to Lily. "Try it again. It's worth another go."

Lily looked skeptical but she tried again, this time taking a smaller drag and exhaling. She had to admit...once she got past the foul taste and burning sensation, she rather enjoyed the feeling that came with it. Sirius was right about that.

"This is...kind of nice," Lily said sheepishly and...shyly.

Sirius looked at her mildly, considering her words in his head.

"Smoking, the tower?"

Lily shrugged, deciding to let Sirius Black choose.

"Is this the most rebellious thing you've done?" Sirius asked, breaking the silence.

Lily winced; he had hit home with a single question. It made her feel insecure and slightly defiant even though a kitten's defiance could rival hers.

"It's just a question," Sirius reassured, holding up a hand.

Lily was about to respond when she saw Sirius's sleeves slip a little. Revealed on his wrists was a story...written in scars. Sirius did not seem to notice Lily's widening eyes for he continued as if it was such a normal night.

"You don't have to tell me," Sirius said and shrugged again. "By the way, it's not like...a bad thing."

Lily looked at Sirius and glared. It was a glare not aimed personally at him but more of a chiding glare. He needn't lie to her. But Sirius merely shrugged.

"Honest."

Lily hummed softly in deep thought. Her mind was distracted by the marks on the other's wrists but she knew she should not pry...yet.

"It's the...tamest I've seen you," Sirius commented suddenly, looking at her through a carefully constructed mask of neutrality.

"Meaning?" Lily asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Usually you are not so...so..."

Lily bit her lip.

"Vulnerable?"

Sirius looked at her with a hint of surprise. Lily guessed he had not been expecting her to admit that so easily or willingly but she looked at him with impassiveness.

"Er—yeah," Sirius said, taking a drag. "It just...it seems like you can do anything. I...dunno. But does that make...some sense?"

He paused, tapping the ashes off the end.

"I have never seen you so unsure of yourself," he concluded, "so yes, vulnerable."

Lily nodded in understanding. "Not many do."

The silence swallows them whole once more. They were no more than strangers. They were not even strangers but more like enemies. Perhaps it was the nicotine or perhaps it was the excitement of the night, but neither felt like being rude tonight. Instead, both sought out one another's company.

"What's wrong?" Sirius asked, taking Lily—yet again—by surprise.

"Hm?"

"What's wrong?"

Lily looked at him in disbelief. _How could he tell_? It made her curious so she played with the line a bit.

"Who said there was anything wrong?"

Sirius gave her That look.

"Hark who's talking," Lily insisted, waving a hand at him. "You look like you are a closed book, locked away in a trunk, then thrown into the ocean. You look like your hiding behind a façade."

"Which makes it easy for me to notice when you are," Sirius said smoothly.

Lily was taken aback at the casualness and little effort Sirius put forth into his wit. His intelligence made her all the more curious.

"Fine," she said and leaned back against the wall. "My sister is ignoring me. No, she just flat out hates me."

Something flashed across Sirius's face—something Lily had seen within her own reflection: _longing_. She tried to study it, figure out its meaning, but the look was gone as soon as it came. Sirius was back to looking indifferent.

"Ah," Sirius said. _Was that concern in his voice_? Lily never heard him be concerned. "You don't have to tell me what happened but I'm a good listener."

Lily sighed and ran a hand through her hair, taking a long drag. She looked contemplative for a moment before sighing again.

"My sister hates me because I'm magic. She hates anything to do with magic. Her and I used to be best friends. Now...she's with Vernon—her horrendous boyfriend. She hates me...and then everything with Snape."

"Tell me about that."

"Well...I miss him...Severus. The more I think of it now, the more I realise how cold hearted he had become. I was blind to it."

Sirius hummed thoughtfully.

"It's just...I'm losing everyone it seems like. I really only have the girls in my dormitory, Remus, and my parents," Lily concluded and shook her head dismally. "We don't live in a fancy mansion like you do, Black. I don't have servants care for me hand and foot. I do not have wealth or power...or anything of that sort."

She exhaled the smoke.

"I don't get that luxury."

She turned precisely at the same time Sirius flinched and flinched visibly. it was if a ghost hand had struck him on the face for he looked all but okay. Lily wondered what happened just then but she never got to ask.

"Luxury," Sirius repeated with a nod. "Oh, yeah."

"I dunno, Black," Lily said, looking at the other with a bit of a quirked eyebrow. "What I'd give to live a day in your life."

And Sirius thought: _What I'd give to end mine._

* * *

 **How the night enthrals us all.**

 **I have decided to weave Lily into this story more as a main character. And yes, I have decided she is going to get to James through Sirius—not Remus. I think too many stories have Remus be the reason Lily ends up with James. I'm here to change that.**

 **Anyway, from the attempted Author's Note at the top, here's the question:** _Are we all feeling some Marauders action after graduating Hogwarts?_ **Just let me know what you think.**

 **Padfoot123321: Ah, no I do not play any of those games of that sort. And that sounds great. I'm excited for you to join the community!**

 **Guest/Moony5678: Haha, I had to go back and check, too. You chose the name Moony5678. Very nice. Anyway, thank you so much. Like I said above, I think you should get account, too. That would be very cool to have another fanfiction friend!**

 **Softballpup12: Ah! Thank you! I'm going to start on your stories as well. From what I have read so far, you are a legit amazing author!**


	8. To Think Abstractly

**All rights remain.**

Perhaps something was changing at Hogwarts. It was no longer simply something they coulf just make up with their imagination. Everyone could see the anxiety Professor Dumbledore was trying his best to hide. James was the first to notice out of the four Marauders. Perhaps the threats in the Daily Prophet were no more of a joke than the denial of the growing death tolls.

But something else was bothering them—especially one in particular. The branding of werewolves were becoming a supporting thing within the wizard ppulation. Remus was fearful for he did not want a Ministry brand on his skin. The Marauders were getting a bit worried, too, wondering what else they were going to do. Or, more signifcantly, what was to come.

* * *

"Ah, fecking hell!"

The students in the dungeon, who were all unlucky enough to be there at that time, received a face full of sticky potion. Remus, who was the closest, tried dodging the explosion, throwing an arm to cover his face, but the potion stung his eyes.

James, who was the second closest, tried ducking, too, but the bits of pieces exploded in his face. Sirius received the stirring stick to the face and the handle flew off the cauldron, smacking Peter in the chest and knocking him down. Students screamed at the stinging sensation because unfortunately, they were practicing the more "advanced" stinging potion.

Once the fiasco was over, every pair of eyes turned to Remus.

The werewolf blushed a very deep red and tried hiding, hiding his face in his hands and feeling the humiliation heat his face.

"Nice going, freak," Snape sneered from across the room.

Remus set his jaw and tried sinking lower, bending his knees so he half hid behind the cauldron. James and Sirius both made to walk over to Snape, ready to start a fight in the middle of class with a professor right there. But Remus made a noise of protest and reached out a hand to stop them.

Both turned to see Remus shaking his head so they dropped it for now, getting everything at their table cleaned up from the mess. James performed a quick _Scourgify_ and cleaned everything up with a flick of his wand. Unfortunately in Remus's eyes, he had done something sinful. He did not talk the rest of the class; he did not even look up from his hands the entire time.

When Professor Slughorn dismissed his class, he stopped The Marauders from leaving and Lily Evans. Remus, who simply wanted to vacate as soon as he could to finish his bad day in peace but whatever this meeting was about, Remus had to stay for.

"Every year I have put on a few dinner parties for a couple of my students. We have get together and the Christmas party—are you five interested in attending?" Professor Slughorn asked, looking over at them through his horribly outdated glasses.

"Ace, count me in!" James said, holding his free hand in the air whilst leaning on his crutches.

"Excellent!" Professor Slughorn said with a beaming smile.

"Yes, sir, thank you," Lily said with a gracious nod.

"Count us all in," Remus said with a nod.

"Great, look for my owl!"

 **.oOo.**

While no one wanted to point this out but James, Peter, and Remus noticed how different Sirius was acting. The vivacious bloke seemed more...strained. It was like Sirius was forcing himself to be himself. It raised a few questions to which Sirius brushed off casually.

"I'm just tired," Sirius reassured and held up a hand. More than anything, he just wanted to be left alone.

His friends seemed to understand Sirius's subtle demeanor for they all nodded and awkwardly left for their next class. Sirius never joined for he was exhausted. Something about his chat with Lily seemed to have reopened so old but deep wounds. He sat in the alcove of the hall and stretched out on the bench. To anyone else, he looked like a bit of a rebel without a care in the world when really he was Atlas, bearing the world on his shoulders.

"Skiving again?"

Sirius jerked hard to see who was talking. That voice was haunting but now seeing the owner of said voice was even more so. Regulus Black stood haughtily before Sirius, his cold eyes calculating the tense scene unveiling itself. He looked so different no one would recognise him. He looked heartless, wrenched from his youth and shoved into adulthood when he was far too young. He stood with his shoulders back and his wand in his hand.

"Sod off and I mean it," Sirius said with the heat he only saved for his family. "Stay away from me, _Death Eater_."

"Oh," Regulus said quietly, completely unphased by his elder brother's desperate insults. "How do you expect me to react? Am I to shout? Punch? Retaliate back? I will not so what is the point in trying?"

Sirius was not fooled by Regulus's calm and cold demeanor. [Unfortunately] he knew his brother better than that.

"It's me they want. It was never you. You were never special to them—you were never _anything_ to them. I was. I will always be their first born and you will always remain the echo of what they wanted me to be. First born, the most preferred, and the one who was finally brave enough to stand against them, I'd say I am feeling pretty haughty myself."

Regulus's features twisted and twutched as if they were going to change but something made Regulus stop and shrug.

"Believe what you want but you know what this world will face," said he with his eyes narrowed malevolently. "But you are not so ignorant to what is rising to power. And I garauntee you and your pathetic friends will be the first to fall."

* * *

Peter knit his eyebrows and shook his head, hoisting his bag's strap up his shoulder again. Perhaps he would have been better off not waiting up for Sirius to see if he needed someone. It looked like he already met someone—uninvited company. Peter regretted listening in for contrary to popular belief, he had a hunch, too. He wish he was so ignorant in the truth of the threat.

Unfortunately, he was not.

Peter pulled away from the corner and began walking down the hall, trying to rid his mind of the shuddering words Regulus had departed on. Little did he know, his feet were taking him to Professor Fultern's moldy room. He never quite liked Divination, in fact, he really disdained that class but he was going there anyway.

Peter knocked with his knuckles softly until the door swung open on its own accord. Peter cleared his throat and stepped in, rubbing his arm unconsciously and pulling his sleeves over his hands nervously. He looked around yet the room seemed empty. Almost huffing in agitation, he turned on his heel to walk out when Professor Fultern came out, wearing all black.

"What is it you want?" she asked, looking at him with a bit of a misty eye.

"I want...to ask you," Peter said quietly, twisting his hands and clenching his fists, "how you make all these predictions without actually being a real Seer."

"Well, what makes you think I am not?" Professor Fultern asked suspiciously, narrowing her eyes.

"I read about true Seers," Peter said in the same soft tone. "I hear things. I know true Seers are rare and the only other one alive is someone...Katharine...or Kassandra or something. She is the only Seer known."

"Perhaps you do not need a special gift to predict what people will do," Professor Fultern said instead, walking around her desk and folding her hands together. "Did you need a gift to know Professor McGonagall would give you a Dreadful on your first essay? Or did you need a gift to know Mr. Potter would try and pursue Miss Evans again this year despite the number of harsh rejections?"

"No," Peter said and frowned lightly. "Those were expected—"

"—exactly, Mr. Pettigrew. Some things are expected. Call it patterns if you will or old habits. They do say old habits die hard."

Peter fell silent after that and pondered what he wanted to say next. He would never reveal to anyone what his friends have done but something bothered Peter. He never voiced it out loud in fear of being flouted or dismissed but it was a nagging voice in the back of his head. It was always there.

"What represents a soul?" Peter blurted out, biting his lip nervously afterward.

"There are many a things that represent a soul, Mr. Pettigrew," Professor Fultern said and looked at him carefully.

"Okay...," Peter said slowly, trying to reword his thoughts. "How can I predict the outcome of this...new...threat...as it were."

"Why such deep thoughts for someone so young?" Professor Fultern said softly, tilting her head in curiosity.

"I am not too young to know when something bad is right there—so close. I am not blind to it and no one else is being fooled by the Ministry either," Peter deadpanned. "If you can't tell me, fine. Just say so."

"I never said that but like you so kindly pointed out, Mr. Pettigrew, I am not a true Seer."

Peter looked away in frustration and pulled out his wand. He summoned his happiest thought—his friends telling him he belonged for the first time—and muttered, " _Expecto Patronum_..."

The patronus was weak and already vacillating but the animal came out distinguishable. A rat. Something about conjuring a patronus and seeing his soul as a rat... _hurt_. Being an Animagus made him feel proud until he turned into a rat. Something about seeing Sirius as a dog and James as stag—both so regal and proud—and here he was...a rat.

 _What was wrong with him?_

"What does it mean?" Peter asked, stowing his wand away and averting his gaze from where the shimmering rodent stood. "A patronus is meant to reveal your very soul, is it not? Or...at least that is what Professor McGonagall always told our class."

"Right she is," Professor Fultern said with a nod.

"So...are you subtly saying my soul is as dirty and wretched a rat?" Peter said, ignoring the pain in his chest as his throat closed up.

"You ask one question with millions of answers. What does your patronus say about your being? Your soul?" Professor Fultern said and sat down on the desk nearest to her. She still hd her hands folded in her lap. "Why ask me when you can ask your Defense Against the Dark Arts professor?"

"Professor Rovol doesn't understand...quite the deeper meaning," Peter said, trying to explain as best he could. "What I am trying to say, Professor, is you understand people in a more abstract way and I trust you know more to abstract questions."

"Ah," Professor Fultern nodded and pointed to where the rat patronus was moments ago. "What is the first reaction when someone sees a rat?"

"Revulsion," Peter said immediately. "Professor..."

Professor Fultern nodded and eyed Peter for a moment before nodding again. She tapped her lips in thought, looking contemplative. The way the student trailed off uncertainly made her realise something far deeper than she believed would be possible for this boy. It was only a matter of explaining it properly.

"How many, do you think, draw back in 'revulsion' when they see a rat?" she asked, her face carefully drawn blank.

"Just about everyone," Peter said a bit dryly.

This was not helping him at all. It just made him feel worse if anything. This was ridiculous but he was too afraid of being rude to cut this all off and leave.

"And those who do not recoil?" Professor Fultern pressed.

Peter paused. "Professor?"

"What are the reactions or thoughts of those who do not fear rats?" Professor Fultern asked softly, keeping her voice drawn and gentle.

"They...just think...rats aren't gross. I dunno...they think everyone misunderstands rats or something," Peter said with a shrug. "The universal symbol for rats is betrayal. You know how people use the expression 'go rat on me' for a snitch? Well..."

"Aha," Professor Fultern said with a small smile. "And remember the universal symbol for Dark Creatures like sirens and werewolves?"

Peter knit his eyebrows with a sense of hidden curiosity.

"Sirens are female demons who draw sailors with their divinity and alluring voices. Sailors drown and are eaten alive, still looking at their beautiful murderers. Werewolves are soulless killers, devouring the hope of all. You, of all people, should know the disdain we have for werewolves, yes?"

Peter's thoughts instantly went to Remus and a flare of defiance rose up in his chest and spewed out in words.

"Well, that is just plain wrong! Remus has more soul than anyone I know! He is perfect in his own way and I don't care what anyone or _fecking_ society ever thinks or brands Remus as. Werewolf or not, Remus has a bigger heart than all those sods have put together."

Peter never swore and when he did, it meant he was truly angry. Just the thought of people's hatred towards his friend made his blood boil and his vision red. No, Remus was not delicate but he was faithful. Peter hated seeing the subtle disappointment on his friend's face whenever his hopes dashed.

"Werewolves do kill," Professor Fultern egged on.

"It is not always the human's fault. It's society's fault for stereotyping against them! It's their fault everyone misunderstands werewolves like that!"

Professor Fultern smiled and nodded approvingly. She gestured to Peter with a raised hand and spoke.

"What does Mr. Lupin do against all the discrimination?"

"He does his hardest to prove them wrong. He is so caught up in getting ridiculously good marks here and is so nice to everyone. He wants to help people..." Peter bit his lip as he spoke of his friend.

"Precisely..." Professor Fultern said and raised her hand, gesturing to Peter and lifting an eyebrow. "Think about what you told me and consider this: perhaps you have been interpreting yourself incorrectly."

Peter's first reaction ws to snort and scoff skeptically and cynically. How could he misinterpret himself? The only people who knew him as well as he knew himself were his friends. This was a waste of his time. He was short, round, ugly, less than half as intelligent as his friends...Peter just wrinkled his nose.

"Mr. Pettigrew, you came to me...why?"

"I wanted to ask for your help," Peter said as if it was obvious.

"You asked me about your patronus, yes?" she corrected more specifically.

"Oh, well...yes."

Professor Fultern looked at Peter carefully and took a deep breath.

"Why did you not go to Professor Rovol?"

"He wouldn't understand the abstract side to the question," Peter said a bit impatiently.

"Right! So...instead of thinking so concretely, start thinking deeper...more... _abstractly_ if you will," she advised.

Peter never remembered asking for a therapy session but he began thinking once more. How was he misinterpreting himself? He was introverted, not nearly as confident...he was proud he became an Animagus only to remember he was a dirty rat, just like his patronus...and an Animagus and patronus represented his soul. It was a universal symbol...everyone hated rats. They were betrayers...or...

Did she mean he was misinterpreting...

"Think, Mr. Pettigrew. What have you just told me...what is Mr. Lupin? What is he to everyone else then what is he to you? What have you just told me?"

There was a pregnant silence in which no one spoke. It was heavy but it was not uncomfortable. It was something deeper...more important...

"Misunderstood..." Peter breathed softly.

It was like a flame rekindled itself inside him, sparking something closely resembling realisation. It felt nice.

"And what is Mr. Lupin trying to do?" she pressed, finally getting somewhere with him.

"Prove them wrong..."

The silence was back but something in Peter's head seemed to spark with a violent jolt. He could not put his finger on it but at least he could acknowledge it.

"You go to Mr. Lupin the most because you see yourself within him. You see your own reflection when you see Mr. Lupin. Here he is, so kind and thoughtful, gentle and caring with a bright soul yet dark life...and an even darker future. Yet...you see Mr. Lupin...a self conscious, introverted, self hating boy."

Peter could not deny it. He had seen Remus at his best and worst. He had seen Remus look so...happy and normal through his thick exterior yet inside...Peter could see the broken boy so full of self loathe yet remaining silent, never emitting a scream. Remus, the silent sufferer...the ghost of what would have been a happy boy.

Sure, James and Sirius had their interiors, too, but Remus was a monster...a branded animal, who apparently deserved to be thrown away and locked up.

"You see yourself. You see your same hidden agony...the emotions locked away in the trunk of your heart. You are self conscious and you hate yourself, too," she said, looking at him with the utmost calmest expression.

Peter detested the way she can hit the nail on the head with unnerving ease and calmness.

"You consider Mr. Black because he is the fish going upstream. You consider Mr. Potter because he understands your self loathe from the girl who despises him so. But you go Renus because his agony is simply an echo of your own."

"You both...are **_isolated_**."

Professor Fultern studied him carefully, watching for a reaction.

Peter realised the truth in those words. He asked Remus to come to his house so he would not be alone. Remus, of all people, would understand being cut off from everyone else. That was his great philosophy when he reached out for his friend.

"You and Mr. Lupin share a connection deeper than any friend. It cannot be emulated. Both of you share the same purpose."

Peter knit his eyebrows, not daring to speak in fear of ruining something.

"Perhaps your soul does not represent betrayal, Mr. Pettigrew. Your soul may very well represent misunderstanding," she said quietly, speaking gently. "And perhaps in your inevitable future, you were never meant to betray."

Peter held his breath unknowingly.

"Perhaps your true intentions, whether you know it or not at the time, are to prove everyone wrong," Professor Fultern said and looked at Peter. "You will find, in life, Remus Lupin struggling through the same."

Peter crossed his arms over his chest...almost to shield himself.

"Both of you will come to see your purpose—proving everyone wrong is a very arduous path to take and not a very desireable one at that. Proving everyone wrong means carving your own way...taking risks and making sacrifices. It will make you feel isolated...alone...but you keep going. The future ahead is a very dark one for everyone. It will be even more so for you both...but in very different ways."

Professor Fultern held up her hand to stop Peter from speaking up.

"Despite this, in the end, you will find yourself completed."

"Maybe you are a Seer," Peter said, looking at Professor Fultern with a sense of new respect.

But to his great surprise, she merely shrugged and shook her head.

"Oh, no, Mr. Pettigrew. I am no Seer. I am like you, you see. No more of a fortune teller of Seer than you. I just know habits, patterns, and people all in an abstract way."

* * *

 **Um, I kind of like how this went then kind of think this chapter was just a filler. I hope Peter will be seen in a new light.**

 **Thank you so much to those who followed/favorited/and reviewed. I hope you continue to think this story's worth a bit of your time! Feel free to voice your opinions via review or PM. I'd love to hear any!**

 **Also, I am a beta. While I do love helping out, I am a beta to be exposed to more stories. So...feel free to look me up if you are looking for a helper. I love reading fanfics.**


	9. Heart Of Gold

**All rights remain.**

James, Sirius, and Remus were walking out of Transfiguration after a particularly grueling and arduous lesson. They had to change lizards to birds. Their lesson was based off transfiguring live organisms in completely different families successfully. James and Sirius perfected the spell within their fifth or sixth try. Remus struggled on for a while before he finally did the best he could and awarded Gryffindor ten points alongside James and Sirius. Peter managed to get it before Remus, however. That was the talk of the hour—the usually "average" boy got the spell down before one of the brightest students at Hogwarts.

Professor McGonagall awarded Peter twenty points.

Walking out, they headed to their next class with Professor Slughorn. Potions was never a favorite subject of James's or Sirius's—or any of the four's but they only did so because it was required to be an Auror. James was complaining loudly about Potions class and how it was far too difficult than it really needed to be.

"Who has the bloody time?" James moaned, running a hand over his face. "It's getting as unbearable as Defense Against the Dark Arts."

Remus, who disliked both subjects, hummed in agreement. He was not biased against the two classes because of the lower scores he received in those two classes. No. He was not biased like that (sort of).

"I dunno," Sirius sneered suddenly, curling his lip back. "Do you know what else is unbearable? Odd greaseballs, right Snivelly?"

Severus Snape, who was walking to the same class as the four, merely walked faster. He had mastered the art of ignoring the four, but it only sparked Sirius's driven determination to get a reaction out of the other.

"Oi, Snivellus, how are you?" he tried. "How was the summer holiday?"

Again, Snape ignored them. His eyes, instead, were trained ahead on something else. Or rather someone else. Among the other students milling about in the corridors, bright red hair stuck out from the rest and the loud and ringing laugh of Lily Evans echoed throughout the halls. Snape was watching Lily from afar, and though they could not see his face, they could assume accurately Snape was looking at Lily with a sense of loss and longing.

"Ah, bugger off," Peter said down the hall, joining in. "She's over and done with you, mate."

"Good one, Wormy," James said with a short burst of laughter.

Sirius, who was getting fed up with being ignored, tried one more thing.

"Oi, Snivellus! How's dear ole Mummy and Daddy?"

Remus, James, and Peter did not know what kind of question Sirius just asked or if it even had any purpose. They turned to ask but Sirius's eyes were glued to the other ahead of them and sneered when Snape turned around with a pale face. The other three looked on with surprise as Snape spluttered indignantly.

"Yeah?" Sirius said above all of Snape's stammering. "Did you tell them, mate? Did you tell them you need new underwear? The ones they gave you are graying, did you tell them?"

"Shut up, Black," Snape said, voice quivering.

"How are they, really? Is your father still living large or drinking his way into debt?" Sirius pressed relentlessly, still bitter when Snape interrogated him publicly about his family. "And your mother? Is that sweet thing still trying to uphold that perfect family image?"

Snape's already pale faced paled more, draining of the little color it had left.

"Or is she just disappointing herself?" Sirius sneered.

Snape, who had dropped all his books in his arms, stomped over to Sirius and stood right up to the other. Sirius had the height on Snape but both looked at one another with the utmost distaste. The tension sparked almost visibly.

"What about your dear old mum?" Snape curled his lip back and snarled. "I heard she is having a better time going somewhere with her life without a little, useless, insignificant, burden dragging her down. Also known as: you."

Sirius's hands shook as he fought the urge to punch Snape in the face.

"Don't believe everything Regulus tells you, Snivellus," Sirius growled low in his voice, eyes narrowing maliciously.

"It's not like Snivellus isn't a burden to his family, too," James said nastily. "I do hate you, Slimeball, but not for what you have done. But...still more the fact you exist."

"My life isn't privileged like all of yours, sods," Snape spat at them, actually spitting at them.

James was the first to react, taking a ready fist and slamming it into Snape's mouth, feeling the jaw crack under impact. Snape howled with agony and dropped to the floor, clutching his bleeding mouth and whimpering with blood foaming at the corner of his mouth where his lip bust.

"Potter!" a voice screeched.

James looked up to see Marlene MicKinnon and Dorcas Meadowes racing towards the fallen with Lily and Mary in the back, watching with a sense of concern. Marlene and Dorcas both stalked up to the boys and shoved them apart.

"Get off me, Marlene," Sirius snapped when she tried to calm him down.

Take aback, Marlene pulled away with a hurt and defiant expression though Sirius paid it no mind as he continued to spit curses at Snape and congratulate James on a winner punch. Remus gently pushed off Dorcas's hands and insisted he was not going to lunge despite the clear anger radiating from him. Marlene, the outspoken one of the group, started yelling first.

"You are going to cost us so many house points for fighting over pointless shite!" she shouted. "What the bloody hell was that, you idiotic prats?"

"Why? Why does she talk?" Sirius groaned loud enough on purpose so she could hear. "Nothing god ever comes out of your mouth, MicKinnon!"

Some fools believed there was a strong connection between Marlene and Sirius, both having a bit of a rough life, but friends of Sirius knew better. The Black heir detested the rude and rather childish girl who threw tantrums.

"Excuse me?" she said, unimpressed.

"Don't you have somewhere else to whine and complain, brat?" Sirius spat at her. "I don't waste time talking to little girls. Throw your hissy fits somewhere else!"

Remus knew yelling at one another was not going to do anything and with Snape bleeding on the floor and two girls trying to make things better (who were actually making it worse), things could only go from bad to worse.

"Potter," Snape snarled, struggling to his feet though still very dizzy from the blow. "Angry at the truth? Is that it?"

"You can call me privileged but you do not assume things like that about my friends when you know nothing of them," James snarled and seized Snape by the collar of his shirt. "I swear, I will knock you out. Merlin, no, I will make you regret those words as long as I can."

Snape clawed at James's arm, trying to get the other to release his grip; however, James was holding on with his face twisted in an angry scowl. Remus came to James's side and put a hand on his shoulder, trying to pry his fingers off Snape.

"It's okay," Remus whispered. "Let him go. He isn't worth it."

James threw Snape to the side and shoved him to the ground, pointing at Snape in his silent warning.

"Privileged sods," Snape snarled from the ground, his only act of defiance.

James, with no warning, with no hesitation, with no regrets, slammed his fist into Snape's face, feeling the satisfying crunch of bone as his fingers broke Snape's nose and jaw. The girls shrieked with indignation and surprise while James continued to rain punches.

Remus and Peter quick jumped into action, taking James by the arms and holding them behind his back to keep him from inflicting any more harm on the Slytherin. James spit curses at the fallen and tried lashing out but the combine strength of his friends kept his arms pinned behind his back.

"Prongs, Prongs," Remus said urgently, talking in a low and soft voice. "He is not worth it. Not worth it at all. He's just an old prat. Leave him be."

"Walk away," Peter added.

Despite being far ahead, Lily heard the screams of her friends and immediately turned back around to see James belt Snape in the face. No matter how much she despised Snape now, she truly disliked James for what he does on the daily and instantly began threatening to take him to Professor McGonagall.

This time, James was going right back at her.

"Fine! Go ahead! Actually, please do!" James almost shouted. "Please!"

"Believe me, I will!" Lily screeched.

It was not the comment directed to him that got James so wired up, but Sn pe directing his comment at all of his friends. James would be the first to happily admit he had lived a very, privileged life. He was a pure-blood, he lived in a mansion, he had everything he always wanted, he had great parents who gave him anything.

But his friends were not privileged.

Remus had to suffer every month due to his condition. He had to endure the agony of his bones breaking and reshaping, the discomfort he felt being confined in a small space, the claw marks and bites he gave himself, the little hope he had for his future. He would have trouble making a family and finding a job. Remus's life was certainly not privileged.

Sirius, who struggled to find the will to get up every morning when he was once stuck at home, certainly had no privileged life. His entire childhood consisted of mental and physical abuse, isolation, and brainwash. The Black heir struggled to keep a foot in the door for the first few years of his youth. But, when he reached eight, he struggled to keep out of his family. But, blood kept sucking him back in. Sirius was unloved by his flesh and blood family.

Peter's own father beat his son and his wife. Peter had to constantly watch his mother let his father beat her down verbally and physically. Peter did all he could to prevent the attacks, even taking the blows for his mother so that she could escape. Peter had come from home with bruises and blood, just like Sirius.

His friends were anything but privileged.

"Potter!" screeched a voice. "My office, now! Mr. Snape, to the Infirmary!"

James knew who it was screaming down the hallway and sighed in an exasperated manner. He figured Evans would go tell Professor McGonagall what happened to fry his sorry arse but he was feeling bitter and angry.

"Walk faster, Potter," Professor McGonagall barked.

It took all James's willpower to not slow down purposely. He tried remaining respectful as he slipped past the Headmistress and settled into one of her chairs. Having been in this situation many a time before, he knew the drill by now.

"What happened?" she asked right away upon closing her door.

This took James by surprise for Professor McGonagall rarely asked for his side of the story. Though not part of the daily routine, James launched into it anyway.

"Snape called Sirius and Remus privileged," he stated simply. "Sirius has a family who hates him and abuses him. Remus turns into a werewolf and thinks he is a monster. And Peter takes his father's beatings for his mother."

Professor McGonagall stared at James long and hard. But he was not finished and he was not done getting his voice out.

"He can call me privileged. Fine. I sure as hell would not have beaten him up if he said that just to me. But he didn't. He friends privileged and I won't stand for it."

Professor McGonagall was silent the entire time James looked at her with those deep hazel eyes behind his rectangular, black framed glasses. She could see no sense of hint of propaganda; it was merely James stating facts. And she could never discipline a student standing up for another.

"Well, Potter, you shouldn't have hit him," Professor McGonagall began slowly. "Therefore I demand you write an extra ten inches on your Transfiguration homework for next assignment."

James looked up at Professor McGonagall in complete shock and surprise. Not once had she mentioned detention, which James expected to get at least a month of. For an instant, he swore he could see the Head of Gryffindor House twitch her lips into what would have been a smile. He even swore he saw her nod just a little, maybe even with just her eyes.

"Okay, Professor," James said without complaint or disagreement.

He nodded to his professor before exiting her office.

* * *

Sirius pranced about the dormitory after dinner with a happy grin. While singing the Weird Sisters, he tried speaking in between the verses.

"I got Prongs this awesome candy," he said, singing again.

"What kind?" Peter asked curiously from where he laid.

"This imported chocolate from like...ruddy Japan," Sirius said with pride in his tone. "He always wanted something foreign."

"That's such a good idea," Peter said with a nod. "Shite, I didn't think of that sooner. I'll get him something from the states."

"The U.S is amazing," Sirius started but trailed off from what else he was about to say.

All he saw, from the corner of his eye, was subtle yet swift movement. James's imported chocolate was now in Remus's mouth and well on its way to his stomach. Sirius's jaw dropped as he watched the scene unfold.

"Shite, bad Moony! Bad!" he scolded.

"Make meh," Remus said around a mouthful of chocolate. He swallowed. "You ruined what I was going to give to Wormtail. Fair is fair."

Sirius scoffed though he had to admit...Remus got him there.

 **.oOo.**

"Moony," Sirius whined. "Answer me!"

"Blimey, what?" Remus huffed, sitting up straighter.

There was a pause of silence in which all one could hear was the rustling of the covers. Remus watched Sirius switch on the lights of the dormitory, blinding everyone within the room, including himself.

"Oi, mate!" Remus exclaimed, throwing a hand up to cover his eyes whilst they adjusted.

James groaned and sat up blearily, smashing his glasses on his nose so he could see. Peter did not wake at first until James threw a shoe at him. Peter grunted and sat up, rubbing his eyes and grumbling about the bright light burning his eyes.

"Yeah, while Frank's not here, I want to ask you something," Sirius said, walking over to his own bed and sitting down.

"It can't wait till morning?" Remus groaned, still shielding his gaze from the burning light. "You just _have_ to ask at 2:00 in the morning?"

"Yes," Sirius insisted stubbornly.

James and Peter, now curious what Sirius had to say, leaned in while Remus looked far less interested. Sirius, though, had done a lot of thinking lately. He asked Professor McGonagall if she ate the things that would normally kill cats as a cat Animagus. She shook her head and said, "it does not work like that for Animagi."

"Padfoot," Remus said a little impatiently.

"Why do you like that chocolate so much?" Sirius asked softly.

" _That's_ why we are all up? Because you wanted to ask me why I like chocolate. Really?" Remus said in disbelief, shaking his head with a dismal sigh.

"Yes," Sirius insisted, not giving in. "Why?"

"It's good, Padfoot. The sugar? Taste? I dunno, ever since I was a kid, I tried it and loved it," Remus said and knit his eyebrows. "Why?"

"Eating chocolate won't kill the werewolf inside you," Sirius murmured gently despite being very blunt.

"I'm sorry, what?" Remus asked, paling.

"Eating chocolate won't kill the werewolf inside you," Sirius repeated and sighed heavily. "I know that is why you initially started eating chocolate as a kid."

"You have no proof," the werewolf snorted indignantly.

Moony, I ate chocolate as a dog. Yeah, I'm still here. It just...doesn't work that way," Sirius said softly, looking at his agitated friend.

"Well no shite it doesn't work!" Remus burst out, looking cross. "I'm still here, aren't I? If it were that easy, no one would have to be a werewolf. No one would have to be soulless monsters!"

Remus's father's words rang deeply in his head. He heard them as a young child and to this day, he still heard them just as clearly.

"Moony—"

"—forget it," Remus said shortly.

He threw his covers off and slipped on his shoes as he bolted. Already wearing his slacks from yesterday and a gray sweatshirt, he raced out without having to worry about changing. Sirius, looking sad, immediately jumped up to go after him.

Remus made it as far as the portrait hole before his ears picked up hasty footsteps. At that point, Remus practically bolted.

The sixth year sprinted down the hallway, just wanting to be left alone. He ended up taking himself to a dead end corridor but he believed he was far away enough. Leaning against the wall, Remus bowed his head for the memories he tried to bury.

 _"Remus, what are you doing?" Hope always asked. "Stop eating so much chocolate. It's bad for you."_

 _"It's bad for the werewolf, too," Remus insisted._

Before he could go any deeper in his thoughts, something prodded his arm. An all too familiar, great, black dog. The dog whined sadly, pricked ears laid back, as he tried to lick away the tears off Remus's face, who had no idea he was crying.

"I'm okay, Paddy," Remus sniffled, running a hand over the dog's thick fur. "I'm okay."

There was a squeak at Remus's feet and he saw a gray rat's twitching nose. Peter had come to see him, too.

"Hi," Remus said with a nod.

And lastly, coming down the hall, was James Potter—the royal stag. The great animal bowed his antlered head and buckled his forelegs, sitting right between Remus and the wall, craning his neck to nuzzle the sad student.

The kindness only seemed to unlock his tears even more; Remus tried desperately to wipe away his tears but they fell quickly.

"It was just disappointing," Remus said, covering his eyes as he spoke. "I thought...it would kill the werewolf..."

The rat scurried into Remus's arms, the dog pressed against Remus with his paw extended, and the stag curled his body around the boy. Remus, comforted by his friends, allowed them to see him in a vulnerable state as such.

And for once, Remus felt sheltered.

* * *

 **Sorry for the delay, I got into an accident about a week ago. Not fun.**

 **Padfoot123321: Unless you are a legal adult and financially independent, no I do not recommend running away. If you want someone to talk to, just ask me. We can email.**

 **Moony 7779: Et voila. Here it is. I hope you enjoy it.**

 **Guest: I read a lot of Les Miserables stories on fanfiction (as most of my favorited stories are Les Miserables). My personality? Career-driven, meaning I am driven by my profession (no, not everyone wants families. I do not).**

 **Cadancelupus: Thank you so much for your support! You're awesome.**

 **Read818: Thank you, too! Depth is important, yes. I am glad the depth and characterization satisfy you.**

 **Raven57245536: Your reviews mean a lot. Thank you. I hope you continue to read because I would love to hear your honest feedback.**


	10. I Jest You Not

**All rights remain.**

 **Kk: Funny you asked because that was going to be the next after that chapter. This is the one so I hope you enjoy.**

The Gryffindor Common Room was one of the most preferred places to hang about when in their leisure time. Busy fifth, sixth, and seventh years did not have as much time to lounge about so whenever they did have the golden opportunity, they did not waste it. Remus, curled up in a very small ball on the chair, held a book between his chest and legs. Sirius and James shared the couch, sprawled out over it as they read over their Defense Against the Dark Arts essays. Peter was going over his Potions essay, rereading his work to see if it was deemed good enough.

"Bugger McGonagall made you write ten inches added," Sirius said, clicking his tongue lazily. "The no good git deserved it."

James opened his mouth to reply but Remus cut him off, sounding far too logical and reasoning at the ungodly hour of the night.

"You punched him like four times," the werewolf pointed out smoothly. "Obviously you weren't going to get away with that. By the way, whether you care or not, Madam Pomfrey mended his nose. You did a number to it, Prongs."

"Good," James said simply, showing no regret. "He's right, Moony. Snivellus deserved it."

Remus fell silent once more and in turn, the others did, too. Remus picked at his lip out of bad habit as he read the text, the black words getting harder and harder to read the longer he stared at the page. His eyes were beginning to droop and his mind seemed more reluctant to memorising what he was reading. Realising this was doing him no good, Remus curled up tighter and closed his eyes, using his book to hide his face.

"Moony's out," Sirius declared.

It was not long after Remus fell asleep that Peter fell asleep; the Potions essay was on the table and Peter was on the other armchair, opposite of Remus, head back and mouth slightly open. James and Sirius would have wasted no time pulling pranks on their sleeping friends but moving seemed too arduous. Sirius eventually fell asleep on James and James eventually fell asleep due to the lack of people awake.

The four of them almost slept through what would be quite the midnight commotion.

Around midnight, if not a little before, two pairs of footsteps came pounding down the stairs as if they were trying to compete who could stomp the loudest. Remus stirred first, followed by James, then Peter, then Sirius. All four heads peered over the backrests of the furniture they lay in but instantly shrunk back down and out of sight when two looming shadows appeared on the wall.

"He's _what_?" Lily screeched, her voice recognisable anywhere at anytime.

"Snape's at the Fat Lady's portrait," Mary groaned, rubbing her eyes wearily and tugging her hair out from its tie. "He says he's been waiting for you for hours, which in my opinion is really creepy, but he won't give in."

"This is ridiculous," Lily declared at last, stopping in her path and moving to turn back around. "I'm not wasting my time talking to him anymore. This is gone on long enough. He can just go back—"

"He won't leave," Mary insisted, shaking her head. "He was threatening to sleep in the corridor."

Lily's eyes flared with anger but she merely pulled her hair back from her face, tied it back, and marched to the portrait hole. The Fat Lady swung the door open for the angry redhead to reveal the lanky and unattractive Severus Snape.

Snape really did look like he was ready to sleep on the floor of the corridor just to get a word with his former friend. He was already lying on the floor, scrambling up to his feet so he could talk to her.

"I'm sorry," Snape began, desperately looking at Lily with a deep pleading look.

"I'm not interested," she replied coolly, simply and only looking to end the conversation.

"I'm sorry!" Snape exclaimed, feeling raw emotion claw up his throat. The sound had a mixture of sadness but exasperation.

"Save your breath."

It was nighttime. Lily, who was wearing a dressing gown, stood with her arms folded in front of the portrait of the Fat Lady, at the entrance to Gryffindor Tower. She looked on the other with an unimpressed expression.

"I only came out because Mary told me you were threatening to sleep here."

"I was. I would have done. I never meant to call you Mudblood, it just—"

"Slipped out?"

Snape paled visibly. There was no pity in Lily's voice.

"It's too late. I've made excuses for you for years. None of my friends can understand why I even talk to you. You and your precious little Death Eater friends—"

Snape could only blink.

"You see, you don't even deny it! You don't even deny that's what you're all aiming to be! You can't wait to join You-Know-Who, can you?"

He opened his mouth, but closed it without speaking simply lost for words.

"I can't pretend anymore. You've chosen your way, I've chosen mine."

To Snape, that statement was like his death sentence. His expression turned to despaired to absolutely hopeless. Oh, if hearts could break and could be heard, Snape's heart would be in pieces and everyone would hear his heart shattering.

"No—listen, I didn't mean—"

"—to call me Mudblood?" Lily interrupted, a part of her voice sounded broken, as well. She gauged for a reaction whilst continuing to speak. "But you call everyone of my birth Mudblood, Severus. Why should I be any different?"

He struggled on the verge of speech, but with a contemptuous look she turned and climbed back through the portrait hole. Snape neither moved nor said a word but the last the four spying boys saw of Snape that night was a fleeting glimpse of a destroyed boy, looking as if he bore the world's misery.

The Marauders would have usually ducked for cover but each pair of eyes were trained on the sighing girl. Lily seemed neither happy or sad; or so they thought. As soon as Lily walked past their couches and armchairs, James rose to his feet and looked at her.

His eyebrows were drawn ever so slightly and he wore a small frown. His mouth was slightly open, wanting to say something but unable to think of anything to say. Lily looked at James for a moment. She stopped in her tracks as soon as James rose to his feet and she hadn't moved since.

"Potter?" Lily asked, raising an eyebrow ever so slightly.

"Snape...he isn't worth your time, Evans."

Remus thought that was too unoriginal, but to his immense surprise, Lily merely blinked at the bespectacled sixth year. She, then, lowered her gaze and attempted a short nod. James, aware of his friends' avid stares sat back down, "rereading" his essay.

No one said a thing about that ordeal that night.

* * *

James, for some reason, could not stop thinking; he was tossing and turning, staring at his ceiling and expecting to somehow fall asleep. Giving up, James jammed his glasses on his nose, slipped on his Hogwarts cloak, changed into his slacks, and headed out. He would have taken his Invisibility Cloak but with Sirius constantly sneaking out to the kitchen, it was hard to find it in his trunk at night.

"Don't expect me to let you back in!" the Fat Lady barked as he pushed open the portrait door.

James headed down a flight and wandered about the barren halls, not expecting to see anyone. He made it to the ground level in fifteen minutes and out in the courtyard. He did not expect to see someone else huddled on the bench outside.

Unrecognisable, James was about to turn back around, but a stifled sob stopped him in his tracks. James turned around, narrowing his hazel eyes and folding his arms over his chest. He tried making out the silhouette curled inward, arms wrapped around their legs that were tucked to their chest. Their shoulders shook with silent sobs, tears falling and whimpers stifled into their knees.

Against his better judgment, James approached the stranger.

His heart skipped several beats when he saw who it was.

It was Lily Evans.

She was crying.

She was looking at him.

She was crying and looking at him.

His heart was going to give out.

"What do you want, Potter? What could you possibly want?" Lily said, wiping her eyes and trying to move away. She let her hair fall in front of her face as she turned away, curling further into herself.

"Nothing," James said, holding up his hands. "Nothing, I just...I was confused...why..."

Lily let out another involuntary sob and hugged her knees tighter, subtly trying to wipe her tears away. James's heart absolutely melted as tears threatened to prick the corner of his own eyes. All he could do, since speaking wasn't an option, was take off his cloak and drape it over her shoulders. At first, he thought she would shrug it off. And at first, Lily did stiffen. But the next thing she did was bury herself in it and started crying.

James merely sat down on the bench beside her, not saying anything, but just being there. She did not acknowledge him for a few minutes, merely crying into her arms and hiding behind her hair. James sat patiently, waiting silently but unable to stem the feeling of protectiveness washing over him in waves. He rubbed the corner of his eyes to get rid of the wetness in his eyes.

"It's not fair," Lily insisted from behind her arms. "I'm losing everything."

James knit his eyebrows in concern as Lily raised her teary gaze to his. He could feel his own breaking in two at the sight of the feisty girl so broken; it hurt him more than he could take. Lily just started crying once more, going back to her arms.

"He is gone," Lily sobbed, "why...why don't friendships mean anything to anyone?"

James knew she was talking about Snape as soon as she spoke the first time. It took all his will power to not start talking bad about Snape, knowing it would not make Lily feel better. Instead, he merely shrugged and looked away from her.

"You're only alone if you choose to be."

Lily wiped at her eyes and wrapped James's cloak around her shoulders tighter. She stifled a few more sobs before looking at James with reddened eyes and a sad and vacant expression.

"Even if it seems like you are losing or have lost everything..."

James felt his own tears prick his eyes once more, which made him subtly wipe them away. He pulled off his glasses and pretended to clean them on his shirt while drying his tears away, thankful for the darkness. Lily, however, was no fool. Never would she have believed James to be capable of having emotions; even less expecting James to be such an emotional sponge. Lily slowly put down one leg and positioned herself to face James better.

"You know?" she rasped, barely above a whisper.

"Yeah..." James said softly, hands folding in his lap as he still looked ahead.

"How?" Lily whispered this time.

"My father's gone. Sirius is always sad. Remus is suffering. Peter is always disappointed in himself," James said, shocked he just revealed that all to her.

Lily looked at her shoes, flicking a bit of her hair over her shoulder as she spoke to him.

"I'm sorry."

James merely shrugged and said, "no time to lament if you can fix it."

Lily looked at James with a new sense of light; whether she was feeling desperate and lonely, she did the only thing logical in her state of mind at the moment. She turned to face James completely.

"Potter, I want you to snog me."

James startled and looked at Evans as if she grew a second head. She might as well for Lily often made it clear she would rather go on a date with the Giant Squid.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"I want you to snog me," Lily said and looked to her left a little. "So, will you?"

"I..." James was speechless and despite this being a dream of his, he couldn't find out why she would ever want that. "Evans..."

"Fine," Lily said with a hint of finality.

Without thinking much, James surged forward and pressed his lips against Lily's. The sensation had his heart absolutely exploding inside his body, racing a million miles an hour and his face burst with heat. His body radiated nervousness but his mind was telling him _this was it._

The soft feel of her lips in his made James dizzy. It was like the anticipation of kissing her heightened the sensation of actually doing so. This was what he wanted to do since first year and now in his sixth year, he was finally snogging Lily...he could hardly take it.

Fireworks were too tame to explain the gut feeling James was enduring while brushing noses with Lily. It was more lie a thousand missiles launched and going off.

Lily pulled back just a little but she stayed where she was. She let him brush his lips against hers as he kept their noses together. The whole ordeal looked a bit odd to anyone watching but it was like magic to the eyes of James.

Lily finally pulled back when she needed air and looked to her left once more. James, still on his high from the whole thing, looked where she was, too. His heart and mind finally connected and when he saw a retreating silhouette, he finally understood why she asked.

"Was that...Snivellus?" James asked, almost incredulously.

Lily gnawed on her lip and nodded, though it was barely a nod.

"Is that...that's why you asked me to snog you," James breathed in understanding.

Again, Lily could only look at him with a sense of guilt.

"Okay..." James said awkwardly. "That works, too..."

Hurt. Maybe. James may have felt a little sting of sadness as soon as he found out the real reason he was snogging the love of his life. He did not want to admit it but he did not like putting on a show for someone else to make them jealous but James finally got to snog the girl he had been after for years.

Lily Evans asked him to snog her. Excluding the context of the situation and circumstance, James's heart fluttered at the very memory of her asking him to do so. It made him wear that goofy lopsided smile that made him an easy target for his mates to pick in him for.

That was how hard James had fallen for Lily. Any other bloke would have gotten angry for being used in such a way (to make another jealous) and would have confronted her with rage. However, James did all he could to collect and hoard away the crumbs if affection he received from that girl and because there were hardly any crumbs, James was willing to feel even worse about himself to keep the feeling of euphoria Lily gave him with that question.

* * *

"I can't believe you snogged her," Remus said with a shake of his head.

"It was amazing," James sighed with a half smile. "She...wow..."

Remus rolled his eyes fondly, Peter snickered, and Sirius only turned away. Though it was never common for Sirius to talk much about Evans in the first place, it surprised the others to see him glaring at his friend.

"Oi, what'd you do to Paddy?" Peter asked, eyeing the Black heir curiously.

"I dunno," James said pointedly, trying to catch Sirius's eye. "He won't talk to me."

Something in Sirius flashed before it was gone. A fake smile and a falsely cheerful voice plastered themselves into use on his features.

"Nothing," he said with a wave of his hand. "Why do we all assume it's me who's the jealous friend? Congrats, Prongs, for finally snogging the hell out of Evans. Was it everything you imagined?"

James raised an eyebrow at Sirius's little act.

"Okay, okay," Sirius said, throwing up his hands. "Never you mind. That was over the top but really, I don't care if you snog Evans or whatever. Your lips."

James let out a little huff of laughter at that, his nonverbal way of agreeing.

"Well," Remus said with a clap of his hands. "The first trip to Hogsmeade is coming up. James, are you going to ask her out?"

* * *

 **Stay tuned for Part 2!**


	11. Brave Hearts Are One

**All rights remain.**

 **Please read the note at the end of this chapter.**

"You thirst for power, I can feel it."

"You are wrong. You are absolutely wrong."

"I know what it is like to feel lost, to feel abandoned," the cold voice said softly, almost as if it was murmuring a lullaby. "I know what it is like to be shunned away to one side, to be pushed out, and forgotten."

"Do you?" the man asked with a snort.

"I do," the cold voice murmured, almost sympathetically. "I know what it is like to feel as if you are losing everything. You only live day by day only out of curiosity of what tomorrow will bring. Will tomorrow be better? Tomorrow, will I be happier?"

Two men sat in a pub, hunched over their drinks and conversing quietly, heads bent to keep their conversation private. The one of the right wore a hood and the one on the left bore marks of a fighter on his skin.

"And you begin to lose your sense of curiosity as you soon realise the days begin to grow less and less hopeful. You begin to lose your will and desire to wait for a tomorrow. You feel as though you are falling into a hole and cannot get out," the cold voice hummed, fingers drumming on the table. "You want to end the vicious cycle. Who can blame you?"

The man clenched a fist on the table, making sure his anger was evident and visible. But to his own surprise, the man's fist slackened and his hand lay flat on the table once more. The aggression he was once feeling dissipated and the truth behind this stranger's words hit his gut more effectively than a bucket of ice.

"Who are you?" the man asked.

"A sympathizer, I only want to improve this world," the cold voice said gently. "My desire is to purify the world of all the bad things. If you help me, I promise you will do great things."

The man merely scoffed again and shook his head in absolute disbelief. _Who is this fool who thinks he can change the world? Who is this novice who thinks he alone can rid the world and its people of misery and suffering?_

"I can appease your suffering," the cold voice compromised in a soft volume. "I can alleviate your pain."

"Forget it," the man said and rose to his feet.

"You are wanted. You would be a vital asset to my ranks," the cold voice said, but never moved. "All I need is your dedication and desire to make this world a better one for all. Come, brother, join my ranks."

"Your ranks?" the man echoed in confusion. "Who are you?"

"He, who will rise," the cold voice said, his head beginning to turn. "I am the one those who defy me will all fear."

"Excuse me?" Nicolas said, eyes narrowing and eyebrows knitting.

"I am Lord Voldemort," the cold voice said, the tone growing stronger as he spoke. "I will be the one you will fear."

A glimpse of red eyes, twisted smile, cold heart, pale and white skin, jagged teeth...the man dropped his mug of mead and gasped in surprise. This man knew exactly who that was. This was no hero, no god, no savior, no lord...Lord Voldemort was nothing but a cold blooded murderer with a heart that beat for and craved innocent blood. And there he was in the flesh.

"Never," Nicolas breathed and pulled out his wand from his sleeve, aiming it at the other and ignoring the protests from the bartenders.

"Stand down, Nicolas," the cold voice warned softly. "Do not fight a battle you have no chance at winning."

The man, whose name was Nicolas, merely snorted and narrowed his eyes at the offender. Born with the intestinal fortitude of a thousand soldiers, Nicolas merely curled his lip back at the monster.

"Your tyranny ends now!" Nicolas roared.

A bright blue light erupted from the end of Nicolas's wand and propelled itself towards the hooded figure. With his heart on fire, Nicolas shot curse after curse, trying to bring down the Dark Lord in the middle of a shady pub. The others at in the pub all screamed and ducked beneath their tables, hiding from the ricocheting spells. Confused and overwhelmed, the wizards and witches took cover.

All except one.

Voldemort, with the coldest sneer upon his face, pulled out his wand and merely sidestepped a curse aimed for his icy heart. He cackled madly and it was high pitched and eerie enough to raise the hair on the bravest of wizards and witches' necks. His blood red eyes pinned themselves onto Nicolas and his lips quirked from a sneer to a twisted and malevolent smile.

"It looks like we have ourselves a dueler," Voldemort exclaimed, voice rising in pure excitement. "This shall not take long, Nicolas. I shall kill you within minutes."

Nicolas never let the insults get to his head as he twisted and dodged the flying curses Voldemort was shooting back at him. With his dueling skills nearly impeccable, this was an easy fight for the wizard. However, he lacked one thing Voldemort thrived with. Nicolas did not kill.

Voldemort was shooting out killing curse after killing curse, letting them flicker and bounce playfully off the walls before exploding them. The explosions created large holes in the wall in which the people were fleeing out from. Nicolas, however, remained where he was and Voldemort continued to advance. Never looking away or backing down, Nicolas fought until his fiery soul took flight.

 _Green light_.

That was what everyone else saw before they fell.

 _Lightness and airiness_.

Those are what everyone else felt before they fell.

 _But not Nicolas_.

He saw into the eyes of his killer. A weak and vulnerable coward. He could feel the victory against Voldemort's rise far, far before he hit the floor of the pub.

Nicolas was worthy.

* * *

"I fear, Minerva, he has grown too powerful," Dumbledore murmured softly, fiddling with a quill on his desk. "What power will the Ministry alone have to stop him?"

"We can't go and take matters into our own hands, Albus," Professor McGonagall protested gently yet firmly. "Who will we have to fight against his ranks? The Aurors? They are already doing so."

"It may not be enough," Dumbledore said and brushed his index finger against the handle of his wand. "How many more have to die, Minerva, for the rest of us to realize we cannot defeat him alone?"

"Albus, please," Professor McGonagall said with a hint of desperation in her voice. "Please see to reason, Albus. What are you going to do that the Ministry has not already done? What do you have that the Ministry does not?"

"I do not have the desire to gain control like the Ministry," Dumbledore said softly, eyes gazing towards the window and admiring the star flecked sky. "I have the desire to give the victims hope for a better future."

Professor McGonagall bit her lip in deep thought as she considered and regarded the old master of wisdom. She had only looked at Dumbledore as a mentor and a guide, someone to aspire to, but now she could see the pressure was getting to his head.

"Albus, your ideals are getting to be as far fetched as You Know Who's," she said quietly.

"Perhaps, Minerva, perhaps," Dumbledore agreed in the same soft tone. "But as I said before, it only takes so long and the right circumstance to unleash the ideals and perhaps madness within."

Professor McGonagall fell silent once more as she watched Dumbledore with a curious eye. She kept silent to see if he had anything else to add but it seemed like the old professor had nothing more to say upon the matter. With a sigh, Professor McGonagall walked over to Dumbledore and stood across from him on the opposite side of his desk.

The two looked at one another as if they were speaking with their minds, eyes searching for some sort of reaction or response. Both kept their expressions fairly neutral but the Headmaster's reflected a more thoughtful and faraway look whereas Professor McGonagall's simply reflected fears and concerns.

Neither sad anything for some time, simply allowing the silence to carry through. It seemed to appease and alleviate the tension and pacify their doubts. Dumbledore's hands stirred every so often with each new thought and idea while Professor McGonagall's eyebrows twitched as she watched.

"What do you propose we do?" she asked softly.

"What do you wish for me to say?" Dumbledore asked softly, turning that piercing blue gaze on to hers. "Whatever I say I am sure you will not find to be justifiable. I never doubt or mistrust your judgement and guidance, Minerva, but you allow your worries to hinder you from doing your job."

Professor McGonagall looked a bit taken aback though she did not argue. All she could do was stare at Dumbledore, waiting for him to say something else or to elaborate on what he already said.

"Give me time to think," Dumbledore said and folded his hands together, eyes staring at the surface of the desk. "In the meantime, I need you to excuse my absence."

"I don't understand, Headmaster—"

But with a snap and crack, Albus Dumbledore was gone. All that remained of his presence there was a lemon drop beside a sugar quill. Professor McGonagall, Headmistress, pushed away her doubts and worries and went out to pretend as though nothing was wrong.

* * *

Professor Hobblestunt, a very mellow and boring Defense Against the Dark Arts professor, started going on and on about the rights of wizards and witches versus the rights of magical creatures such as centaurs and goblins. Most of the time, Professor Hobblestunt spoke directly from the text of the book, never straying far to add his own input in the mix of the lesson. However, the opinions he did have, no one could respond to for they were just that odd.

"In my third party opinion, I believe the goblins should have fought for something more valuable than goblin gold," Professor Hobblestunt said with an actual disapproving click of his tongue.

-What is he talking about? -S

-I'm actually scared of him. -P

-Who in Merlin's beard gives a shite about what he says? Why is he so odd? -J

-Reckon he and Snivellus could get together. -S

"I think fighting for the rights of corn or potatoes would have been much more preferable than goblin gold. Goblin gold is simply too easy to copy, but no one would bother with corn or potatoes. Less bloodshed can never be a bad thing," Professor Hobblestunt said, raising his hands and magicking an ink bottle into a nice, brown, round potato. James and Sirius exchanged looks while Peter and Remus silently rolled their eyes.

-Want to skive? -J

-And? -P

-Yes. I'm in, mate. -S

-Great, just say I'm sick or something. I can't stand this lesson. -J

-We are NOT ditching! -R

"Er...Professor Hobblestunt?" James asked out loud, raising his hand and rubbing his nose with his sleeve. "Professor, may I interrupt for a moment? Just a moment is all? Please?"

-We're ditching. -S

Remus stared at the his friends in absolute disbelief. He and his friends have gotten into a bad habit of skiving classes to go use the lavatory or because one of them was sick. It completely went against his conscious and good sense of judgement but being friends with Peter, James, and Sirius, going against a conscious and good judgement was a must on several occasions.

"Are you now, Mr. Potter?" Professor Hobblestunt asked, lifting his glasses a little higher on the bridge of his nose. "That certainly is a pity, isn't it? Why don't you sit and put your head down for a bit?"

"Madam Pomfrey would be able to help me," James argued albeit subtly. "I could go to her and see if she could offer me a tonic?"

"That'd work, yes, Mr. Potter," Professor Hobblestunt said and nodded.

"I'm feeling dizzy though," James pressed, looking at his friends. "Do you mind if someone helped me in case something happens?"

Professor Hobblestunt looked a little skeptical at that request but being a new professor and thus a new victim to The Marauders' scheming plans and convincing acts, he merely nodded.

"Please," he said.

James looked solemn and downward at his feet as he and Sirius rose to their feet. Together, they walked out of the classroom and shut the doors behind them. Remus and Peter knew the routine and both raised their hands.

"Now what, Mr. Pettigrew?" Professor Hobblestunt sighed with exasperation. "I suppose you're not feeling well? I think Mr. Wells said the same thing last class period. It seems as though there is a plague going about. In my third party opinion, Mr. Pettigrew, I think you should be more careful about what you eat. In my third party opinion, I think it should be necessary to taste test the food before handing it out to students and staff. In my third party-"

"Okay, Professor," Peter said, awkwardly interrupting the talkative person. "I understand you have loads of really good third party opinions but I just had to use the lavatory. If you don't mind...?"

"No way," Remus said, standing up to make it more theatrical. "I was just going to ask that."

"I asked first," Peter said simply, shrugging a shoulder and looking at Remus with a bored expression. "You wait. I'm going first."

"Says you," Remus snorted and slammed his book down on his desk. "Professor, I have to use the lavatory first. I, unlike Peter, actually am ill."

"Nice lie," Peter said with a scoff.

"Why don't you both just go," Professor Hobblestunt muttered, interrupting the two feuding friends with a wave of his hand. "I think both of you should just go. That would be easier on the class."

Both Remus and Peter glared at each other until the doors were closed behind their backs. Then and there they were ale to smile and laugh about it. With a cheery demeanor, the four boys headed and paraded down the halls, satisfied with themselves their plan worked.

"Okay, do we really have to go to Pomfrey's?" James asked.

"No, but I'd love to get my hands on the Daily Prophet," Remus said with a lamenting sigh. "I didn't get to read it this morning because _someone_ thought it would be funny to eat mine."

"It's what dogs do, can you blame them?" Sirius huffed with a look of defiance.

Remus rolled his eyes and the four continued on their way, feeling the glorious sense of freedom as they wandered. Remus, however, was getting paranoid, constantly looking over his shoulder as if he expected Professor Hobblestunt to somehow magically appear behind them. Sirius caught his friend doing this several times in the past five minutes and let out a bark of laughter in response.

"Walk backward, Moony, it'll be more effective," he joked.

"Har har," Remus said dryly, not finding the humor. "We can get in serious trouble... _again_ for ditching. Professor McGonagall would kill us. Prongs, she might even kick you off the Quidditch team!"

James gave Remus a look.

"Professor McGonagall wants to win the cup just as bad as we do," he said offhandedly and waved a hand. "She's not going to mess with Gryffindor's chances of winning it, Moony. Really."

Remus scowled, pulling a disapproving face, but he said nothing else upon the matter, allowing his friends to take him wherever their feet desired to go.

Dinner rolled by, which The Marauders enjoyed the meal. However, three of the four were there to enjoy the food. One was absent.

Peter.

The other three did not worry too much but when Peter did not show up for dinner at all and he did not show up anywhere in the Common Room or dormitory, Remus, James, and Sirius began to worry. They sat on the edges of their beds, trying to think of what could be holding Peter back. They came up with different scenarios and ran through them amongst each other.

The three friends stayed up until 1:00 in the morning, waiting for Peter. Finally, when they were about to go out and search for their missing friend, Peter came in, shutting the door behind him and looking pale and blank.

James was the first to react, leaping to his feet and running a hand through his messy hair.

"Wormtail, spit it out, what's wrong?"

"I heard the Headmaster and Professor McGonagall," Peter said softly, pulling out a copy of the Daily Prophet from the inside of his cloak. He handed it to his friends and leaned against the wall, arms over his chest.

 **Another Attack of You Know Who  
** By Charlus Hepshire

 _You Know Who was spotted moments before he disappeared at a pub near Knockturn Alley. The victim of You Know Who's brutality and unforgiving nature was none other than the Auror Nicolas (who's last name will remain anonymous). How much longer can our world take this tyranny? How much longer will it take before all of us are wiped out? You Know Who is growing stronger as the shields to protect the rest of us are growing weaker._

 _You Know Who will stop at nothing to gain complete control. Witnesses in the pub the night the Auror was murdered claim You Know Who was laughing manically as he killed the other. The Ministry, as we all know, is trying to break down this revolution, however, efforts seem fragile and insignificant compared to the vast amount of crimes firing up from all over._

Remus sighed and set down the Daily Prophet, deciding he did not want to read it anymore. He looked at Peter, who had migrated to his bed and sat down with his legs danging over the foot board.

"What is it?" he asked softly.

"I overheard the Headmaster and Professor McGonagall talking about forming a group of resistance," Peter murmured, looking at his hands. "It was earlier today that I heard this...but I didn't tell you because I didn't know what to say."

"Where were you?" James asked instead, looking at his friend curiously. "You were gone for hours...this entire night!"

"I know," Peter said with a nod. "I was looking for a copy of the Daily Prophet and Merlin knows how hard it is to get your hands on a copy in this castle. Anyway, I found one and started reading, then I got caught up and started putting the pieces together."

"What pieces?" Sirius asked this time.

"First off, the Minister of Magic thinks Professor Dumbledore is out to get him...according to Professor McGonagall," Peter began but was cut off by James's exclamation.

"That's bloody ridiculous!"

"I know," Remus said gently in understanding. "But there's more, so go on, Peter."

"But Dumbledore wants to start his own organization and he was talking about it with Professor McGonagall. She doesn't fancy the idea but she's starting to realize that there's not really much else to be done," Peter said and looked at the opposite wall.

"Who are they going to recruit?" James asked, voice suddenly changing in tone.

"Close friends," Peter started then shrugged. "That's all they really said about the organization."

"Organization?"

The four boys jerked hard in response to the fifth voice. All eyes landed on Frank Longbottom, who was standing at the door with his eyebrows knit. His hand still remained on the door's handle but his eyes look intent and curious.

"What do you mean, Pete?" Frank asked again, stepping into the dormitory and closing the door behind him. "What's that you're talking about?"

"You've heard it all, I'm sure," Sirius said a bit dryly, annoyed and even a bit angry he was listening in on their conversation.

"I have but what are..." Frank trailed off in thought. "Anyone who's willing to volunteer, I'm sure Professor Dumbledore wouldn't object to a few new hands."

Remus looked at his hands then at his friends, worried they all might be thinking the same thing. And the looks on his friends' faces, excluding Peter's, mirrored exactly what Remus feared the most when this entire ordeal began.

The light in James and Sirius's eyes, the ferocity and wild determination began to reflect their exact thoughts.

"W _e could join_."

* * *

 **This chapter is dedicated to the brother of Daniel, whose name was Nicolas. I'm sorry for your loss and if you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here if you so want.**

 **Take care, Daniel, and remember all the good things about your brother as well as the bad. Doing both will keep the real memory of your brother alive.**


	12. I Worry, I Cannot Lie

**All rights remain.**

Tuesday and Wednesday had passed by without much else exciting going on. The Marauders were enjoying their few hours of relaxation where they did not worry about having to slave over their work. They sat in their usual place underneath their beech tree, soaking up the mild weather and enjoying the breath of real, fresh air. It was evident October was coming around the corner. The nights grew chillier, the air grew crisper, and the leaves upon the trees began turning browner and browner with each passing day.

There was, however, still one thing coming up rather soon before the month of September passed by. The full moon was approaching and its effects were taking a toll on its slaves, including Remus. The sixth year werewolf began to change with the time; his appetite changed, making him sneak into the kitchen for rawer meat. His health was beginning to decline as he was more prone to headaches and getting ill to his stomach.

However, despite this, the full moon was not the thing bothering Remus.

"It's cold," Sirius complained with a hefty sigh. "It's too cold."

Remus, who was sitting beside Sirius, hardly made a move. There was a book cracked open in his lap and his nose was buried deep within the text. James was actually sleeping underneath the beech tree on Sirius's other side, so he did not respond to his friend's declaration. And Peter was busy redoing his Charms essay, which Professor Flitwick gave him another chance.

"It's cold," Sirius repeated, louder this time.

"What do you want me to do?" Remus asked, noticing the Black heir's gray gaze on him. "I can't control the weather."

Sirius sighed dramatically once more, as over exaggerating seemed to be his specialty, and switched so he could look at Remus better. But the werewolf was determinedly reading his book ergo his attention was _not_ on Sirius, which was not okay to him.

"Moony?" Sirius asked in an impish tone.

"Hmm?"

"I'm going to go strip and dance for Professor Dumbledore exotically. Care to join?" Sirius asked, looking at his nails and wrinkling his nose at the sight of all the scars on his right hand alone.

"No, but do find a way to record that. I'd love to see that," Remus said, eyes never moving from the pages of his book.

"Ha, so you _are_ listening to me!" Sirius said triumphantly and wiggled in the grass a bit to get more comfortable. "Why haven't you been responding to me then?"

"And say what?" Remus said vaguely.

"You're not still peeved about—"

"—no," Remus cut in shortly. "Here and now is not the time and place, Sirius."

Sirius blinked, looking slightly taken aback. Remus had never shown this much resistance to their ideas, no matter how mad they seemed. Sirius figured there was something much deeper Remus was concerned about than he was letting off because very rarely had he seen his friend this defensive.

"You can tell me," Sirius prompted gently.

"What is there to tell?" Remus asked pointedly, sounding as if the conversation was over.

Sirius sighed and went back to fiddling with the grass, talking about everything but the that thing still upsetting his friend...no matter how hard or how tempting it was to bring up.

By 12:00 in the afternoon, the sun had reached its peak and it became the warmest it had all day. James stirred from his slumber and looked around, eyes landing on something—or someone—that had caught his attention. And for the first time, it was not the redhead witch.

"I'll be back," James reassured and rose to his feet stiffly, stretching a bit. "I have to get something for Potions."

His friends could only give him questioning looks at James's retreating back for he had not given them a chance to really respond. All three friends watched with earnest curiosity as their fourth friend headed farther up the hill until he was no longer in sight.

James had veered off in a completely different direction as soon as he was out of sight. He stopped a ways away from a group of students and awkwardly cleared his throat, running a hand through his hair as old habits die hard.

Lily, who happened to be apart of that group, turned around with a spark of curiosity and a flare of annoyance.

"Can...can I talk to you?" James asked nervously. "Frank?"

Lily's eyes widened in surprise when the arrogant prat did not address her. She had been so certain he had come over to her just to humiliate her more. However, today and now was not the case. She looked over at Frank, who looked at James and nodded.

"Great," James said as he and Frank walked off.

Now Lily's curiosity was flaring.

James kept his gaze locked avidly ahead. He looked far more somber and sober than many had ever seen him, but there was something on James's mind. Frank let the silence take over for a while before he interjected and stopped walking.

"You want to talk to the Headmaster about his idea, don't you?" Frank guessed, hitting the nail right on the head on the first try.

James, however, winced and looked at Frank for a brief moment—looking apologetic and sheepish.

"Is it that obvious?"

Frank chuckled and folded his arms over his chest, keeping that mild expression of understanding that always reassured James in the best of ways.

"I know it's been on your mind," he said with a nod. "I get it and I fancy that idea as much as you. But why don't you stop and think for a bit, James? Don't get too ahead of yourself."

James tried to put the situation in a bigger picture, to see all the angles before he did or said something foolish, yet he still had trouble doing that. He frowned slightly and his eyebrows drew together, both telltale signs James was conflicted.

"Look," Frank said to appease the inner war. "Mate, we're Gryffindors for Merlin's sake. We were out into that house for a reason. Professor Dumbledore understands that."

James sighed and ran a hand through his hair again.

"Why don't you just talk to him?" Frank concluded, looking at James in complete seriousness. "Go talk to the Headmaster."

"And say what?" James asked softly, looking up at the other with hazel eyes. "That I accidentally overheard you talking about it when you were talking to Professor McGonagall? It was a time and place I should not have been there."

"How did Peter overhear that, by the way?" Frank inquired suddenly.

James knew exactly how Peter overheard that. He had transformed into a rat to look for more passageways in the castle and had stumbled upon that conversation doing so. But James could not very well tell Frank that and expose their secret.

"He hears everything like I said, he listens," James said simply and shrugged casually. "I suppose I can talk to Dumbledore—"

"—even though you can pretty much predict what he is going to say?" Frank said pointedly. "I know James, you want to be apart of this organisation but I'm telling you, he's not going to go for it."

"Why?" James asked, still not quite understanding that concept.

"You're still a student. I bet Dumbledore is going to have these new members all over. Plus, it's dangerous work going against You Know Who," Frank said and unfolded his arms from his chest, rubbing his forehead. "I get it, age has nothing to do with dueling skills."

James opened his mouth but Frank slowed on.

"But dangerous work does have something to do with age. Not skill. But chance. Think about it, James. Do you think Professor Dumbledore is going to want to put a sixteen year old at life risk? He would hate himself if a sixteen year old died that young."

James could not argue with Frank's reasoning and found it to be quite logical actually. It still made him feel as though he could try to persuade Dumbledore anyway but he had, at least, a broader understanding of the situation and risks.

"Fine, yeah, okay," James said in conclusion, nodding in understanding. "Thanks, mate."

Frank looked as if he had something else to add but he seemed to be content with settling the conversation there. He waved goodbye as he and James parted ways, both going back to their own group of friends. James headed down that hill and stopped beside his lazing friends with a pit of doubt.

"What's up?" Sirius asked, noticing James's hesitance. "What was that all about by the way?"

"Professor Dumbledore, I want us, the four of us to talk to him," James said, coming out with it. "Sometime soon, I want us to talk to him."

"About?" Remus inquired though he could already guess what James wanted to talk about.

"The organisation he wants to make," James said and ran a hand through his hair. "Please, for me? I just want to know what it's all about."

"Fine, yeah," Remus said at once, pushing away every other worry and doubt. "I'll talk, Padfoot, Wormtail? Are you in?"

"Yeah," they chorused.

James settled back down in the grass and let the silence take over. Each of the four seemed absorbed in their own thoughts, their own worries, their own fears. Despite the sun, the atmosphere seemed to be anything but bright.

Remus had many a fears about joining an organization Dumbledore created. Not only was he a werewolf, but he was for certain going to be a target. Created by Fenrir Greyback, one of Voldemort's most notorious and infamous supporters, Fenrir Greyback would be, no doubt, after him. Remus did not want to think of the extent Greyback would go through to recruit Remus. It was not some paranoid thought for already, Remus had received word from Greyback, all full of threats if he did not do as told.

Sirius, himself, had his own doubts about going to talk to Dumbledore, wondering if this was all a fallacy in placing false hope into people. His family, who he no longer considered family, were some of Voldemort's own supporters and even Death Eaters, including his beloved brother Regulus and dearest cousin Bellatrix. Word had it Narcissa and her new husband joined but Sirius lost track. The idea of going against his own brother was unspeakable yet Sirius refused to voice this out loud.

"We're being...we're doing this, right?" Peter asked softly, concern reflecting in his eyes.

James looked at Peter and knit his eyebrows, a slight frown playing on his lips. Peter had always been self conscious over just about everything about himself. But this looked different. Peter looked fearful. Peter was always the eyes and ears within every group at Hogwarts and no doubt would Voldemort attempt to recruit him firstly. Peter truly thought he would be free from such threats due to his deep rooted belief of worthlessness, but how times had changed.

James subtly put a hand on Peter's knee before swinging his book bag over his shoulder.

"I have to head out," he announced, rising to his feet and and running a hand through his hair. "Quidditch tryouts are early this year. Padfoot, you coming?"

Sirius leaped to his feet and looked at his two friends still sitting on the ground, pointing over his shoulder.

"The Pitch is open if you want to watch," he offered.

"We'll be there," Remus answered before Peter could. "I promised Wormy I'd help him with his essay."

Peter nodded, catching on to Remus's act easily. James and Sirius shrugged before walking off together, deep in their own conversation and waving goodbye to their other two friends. Remus and Peter watched James and Sirius head out of sight and earshot before one started talking a million miles an hour.

"I don't know what to say. I don't know how to put it nicely. I'm not a prime...people hate me. People really hate me and I...I can't prove I'm good, you know? Everyone will have to know and people will never trust me," Remus spilled out, burying his face in his hands in distress. "I'm a bloody werewolf, Wormy, I can't go to Professor Dumbledore and just ask to join his club."

"Why not?" Peter asked, crawling over closer to Remus and putting a hand on his friend's shoulder. "Why can't you? We are."

"Peter, I'm a werewolf. No one trusts a werewolf," Remus said in despair, shaking his head desperately. "I just couldn't say no to Prongs but I can't do it. I can't...put everyone else in risk like that. It's safer for all of you if I keep neutral. I can't...I... _Peter_..."

"Remus, shhh," Peter consoled, rubbing Remus's shoulders and looking around before speaking in a low voice. "Werewolf or not, you've proven yourself over and over. Don't think you'll need to do that for the Headmaster. And if he trusts you, then everyone else will, I guarantee it."

Remus just pulled his knees to his chest and drew his arms around his legs, burying his face in the crooks of his arms and sighing heavily. He did feel comforted by Peter's presence, glad to have his friend at his side. Peter was always one of the best listeners Remus had ever met. The shorter boy had a talent for making others feel better, a secret keeper he truly was.

"I just..." Remus trailed off, uncertain.

"I get it," Peter said in understanding. "But don't worry. You shouldn't let your own team stop you, right?"

Remus flashed Peter a grateful smile, glad the other was there to talk to him rationally when he could not think so for himself. Peter smiled back and sat back on his heels, looking at his friend with a curious look.

"I bet the Headmaster won't let us join anyway until we're older," he said fairly.

"Probably, which will definitely get James peeved," Remus agreed, sighing a little. "Speaking of them, we should probably head over."

Peter raised an eyebrow curiously.

"That's why you didn't go with them right away?" he inquired. "You wanted to tell me that?"

"You're the one who listens the best, yes," Remus said meaningfully.

 **.oOo.**

Quidditch tryouts were hardly as exciting as James recalled them to be. In fact, Quidditch tryouts seemed to be much more stressful than he last remembered. The newcomers on the team did not seem to take Quidditch seriously or they took it too seriously.

"Stop messing around!" James bellowed, blowing his whistle as loud as he could at a group of annoying third years. "Bloody hell..."

About ten minutes later, after he scolded those third years for messing around with the Quaffle and seeing how far they could throw it to no one, James caught sight of a couple of fourth years getting angry at each other, yelling at one another and shouting out vulgar language.

James flew over to them and blew his whistle in their ears.

"Stop fighting!" he shouted as loudly as his hoarse voice would allow him to. "We're a team! Stop discouraging each other! Yes, take it seriously, but it's okay to have a laugh once in a while."

"He was laughing at me!" the fourth year protested angrily, a vein popping out in his neck.

James blinked, backing his broom up a little bit.

"No, he was laughing with you. We all laugh at each other out of affection," he explained and gestured to himself. "First time I crashed, they all laughed at me for three months straight. Relax."

With that, James flew off with a roll of his eyes. As he wandered about, examining everyone's performance, dedication, and teamwork, he sensed another flier on his left. Of course, Sirius's guts would be bursting at the expense of James's sanity.

"What?" the bespectacled friend huffed.

"You remind me of Snivelly," Sirius said, unable to contain his laughter. "The way you're talking, mate. 'Stop, stop messing around or else'."

"I don't sound like that," James said in protest though a grin played at his lips. "Bugger off, you sod."

"You know you love me," Sirius sang and even planted a kiss on James's cheek.

After drying his cheek from Sirius's saliva, he blew the whistle and called his team down.

"Okay, we've got Sirius and Xavier as Beaters. We've got Nadia, Dorian, and Vince as our Chasers, Alistair as our Keeper," James announced hastily, throat beginning to hurt pretty badly. "Any questions? Objections?"

When no one said anything, he dismissed everyone with a sentimental speech about effort and outstanding determination from every flier tonight. Sirius knew the routine and watched everyone disperse as he flew over to James, looking at his friend with a half smile.

"Not to get you going, but guess who's here?" he said with that impish look.

"If you make one more joke about you and Dumbledore's apparent relationship, I'm throwing you off your broom," James said right away, holding his hand up to stop the other from continuing.

"No, you fat prat," Sirius said with a bark of laughter. "Although I'm flattered you are so curious about us."

"Sirius!" James barked.

"Evans," was all Sirius said in return.

James opened his mouth for another retort but he clamped his mouth shut in surprise, eyebrows rising with a sense of shock. He looked to the stands and as Sirius had said, there was Lily Evans beside Remus and Peter, talking to them. From the looks of their neutral and calm expressions, they were conversing like normal human beings. Without thinking, James rushed over to the stands where they were.

"Evans!" James shouted, zooming to a halt beside his friends.

Remus and Peter both looked up at him as Lily gave him a little sideways glance. She did not frown, scowl, or shout. She merely sat there, looking and acting rather docile, which was certainly unusual.

"How...how are you?" James asked uncertainly, looking at all his friends.

"We're fine," Peter answered and looked at Lily for a fraction of a second. "We were just watching the tryouts."

"Wanted to see what to expect this year," Remus added helpfully.

"You've got quite the load," Lily said in a more...dull voice but it was not a tone of anger, which was a start.

James laughed awkwardly.

"Oh, yeah," he said. "It's Quidditch, one of the most important things. It's like...imperative to get all the right people."

Sirius instantly slapped a hand to his face with a stifled groan. Remus bit his lip and looked at his knees, hands hiding his amused smile and disbelief. Peter looked away awkwardly, trying desperately not to snort with laughter. And Lily rolled her eyes, clearly unimpressed.

"Yes, anyway, Remus, I'll see you for patrol?" Lily said, looking at the other with a nod.

Remus nodded in return and the redhead got up and departed with a farewell to each Marauder including a short "see you around, Black" and an added "...Potter..." James nearly melted off his broomstick right then and there.

"All right," Remus said, standing up and looking at James. "You said you wanted to talk to the Headmaster."

James blinked at Remus in surprise.

"Now?"

"Now."

* * *

 **Stay tuned!**


	13. I'll Take Him Down

**All rights remain.**

As the stars stretched over the indigo sky and the chirping crickets fell silent, James, Peter, Remus, and Sirius stared at Professor Dumbledore with an air of nervousness. Dumbledore was patient with them, waiting for them to say something when they were comfortable enough.

"Professor..." James began then trailed off.

His gaze went back to his hands twisted and folding in his lap. He bit his lip and rubbed the bridge of his nose, trying to find the right words to say.

"I heard you talking...we...I know...the threat...the threat of You Know Who," James tried again, trying to take deep breaths. "I heard you talking about the Ministry and how they're not doing anything."

Professor Dumbledore nodded with a ghost of a smile. He looked at his students with a sense of pride. They were not fooled by the Ministry either.

"I know you wanted to do something about it," James said softly, still averting his gaze to his knees. "You were talking about...creating an organisation earlier."

"How you heard this still confounds me," Professor Dumbledore said softly, looking at the four students with a hint of suspicion. "But yes. Why do you ask, Mr. Potter?"

James felt as though he was asking to murder someone. The whole ordeal was leaving him tongue tied and nervous beyond belief.

"We were wondering if we could join."

The voice who spoke did not belong to James. It belonged to Remus. Remus looked at the Headmaster and him only. He ignored the odd and surprised glances from his friends and kept a straight face.

The Headmaster looked even a little surprised at the declaration but he regained his composure and sighed softly, folding his hands on his desk and leaning forward to address the four students. He looked solemn as he spoke.

"There will be a time when I will welcome you in with open arms," he said gently. "But now is not that time. You are not of age and I cannot permit it."

James nodded first, having been warned by Frank Dumbledore would say something like that. He understood.

"So, when we're all of age, can we come back and ask the same thing?" James inquired, looking up at the Headmaster with a sense of curiosity and a spark of something else.

"I'd expect nothing less," Professor Dumbledore said with the old twinkle in his eyes. "Was that all, Mr. Potter?"

"Yes, Professor, sorry for taking up so much time," James said at once, rising to his feet. "Sorry..."

"Do not apologise," Professor Dumbledore reassured and waved a hand, the door to his oval office opening up. "And I expect this conversation to continue when the time calls right."

James smiled at Professor Dumbledore, who smiled back. The four of them, then, excused themselves and headed out, walking back down and through the empty corridors of the castle. They were silent for a while, letting the sound of one another's footsteps be the only noise coming from them.

Remus was the first to speak up.

"He didn't say we couldn't ever," he pointed out with an air of optimism.

James just flashed his friends a quick smile before heading off, keeping his gaze on the floor and his head slightly lowered. All his friends could do was follow at a distance, trying not to seem dismayed.

* * *

"Happy Birthday...to me."

An eleven year old boy, a first year in Gryffindor, wrapped himself in his arms and stared out the window. The window sill was large enough for him to fit comfortably and large enough to allow the first year to stretch out.

He was all alone, no one around, and no one seemed to acknowledge him. It was as if the boy was not even there. He sniffled a few times as the tears rolled down his cheeks, staring longingly out the window.

A lanky sixth year came walking down the hall, his Prefect badge flashing in the dim light of the castle's candles. The light played with the shadowy figure sitting a top of the window sill. Remus's eyes honed in on the lone silhouette and his eyebrows drew together in questioning.

"Oi," Remus said at once, walking up to the boy at a quicker pace. "It's 11:00! Get back to bed."

As soon as Remus was close enough to see the boy, he stopped short in his hasty tracks and took a closer look, feeling his jaws clamp shut. The boy was crying silently, eyes red and puffy. His cheeks were stained with tears and his hair was unruly. He was dressed in his night clothes so he must have come from bed to sneak out.

"Sorry," the boy said, his voice wheezy from the lack of use (and perhaps the amount of crying).

Remus's heart instantly melted as he regarded the saddened boy. He shook his head as his blue gaze fell on the young boy's own blue gaze.

"What's wrong?" the sixth year asked worriedly, walking up to the boy and reaching out a hand to console him.

Remus recoiled when the boy recoiled, his eyes locked in fear of the hand, flinching away. It was as if the boy thought Remus was going to physically hurt him and though it sparked his curiosity to know, Remus merely pulled back with both his hands up in a gesture of surrender.

"I'm not going to hurt you," he promised softly. "I just want to know what's wrong."

The first year looked away and back out the window, biting the inside of his cheek so hard, he drew blood by accident. Remus did not find the silence to be awkward but the poor other did and fidgeted uncomfortably.

"Don't pretend like you care. I won't make you take house points but don't go around acting like you care about me," the first year said dully, hopping off the window sill and walking past Remus. He headed down the hall, head bowed and still wiping his tears dry.

"Hey, hey," Remus said, walking after the student and speaking ever so gently, soothingly. "I care, I do. Honest. I won't take points away for this. I just want to know if you're okay."

"I'm fine," the boy replied shortly, taking a sharp turn and sitting down on a bench in the alcove of the corridor. "Why'd you ask anyway? I already told you, stop pretending like you care."

"I do care," Remus insisted and sat down next to the boy. "I'm concerned about you. I don't like to see you so...sad. What's wrong?"

"You don't even know my name," the first year scoffed, wrapping his arms around himself again, a gesture of insecurity. "Go away... _please._ "

Remus did not go away. He persisted. The first year looked despaired by something and despite hardly knowing this kid, Remus knew he could not leave him in the state he was found in.

"You're right, I don't know your name, but only because you won't tell me," Remus said softly, looking at the boy. "What's your name?"

The boy closed his eyes with a pained sigh, tears filling his eyes behind his eyelids, but he quickly forced those away and took a deep breath, steadying himself. He looked back at Remus.

"My name's Xavier," he said and looked away with a little sniffle. "But no one cares anyway so you don't have to either."

Remus did not respond to the self-hate comments and leaned back against the wall, tapping his heel against the floor as he and Xavier sat in the halls in silence.

"What's wrong?" he repeated.

"Nothing," Xavier insisted, folding his arms over his chest defensively. "I didn't say there was anything wrong."

"You just told me not to care about you, which means you do have something that bothers you," Remus said calmly, shrugging a shoulder and looking at Xavier with a sort of helpless look.

"I don't have to tell you," Xavier said with irritation in his voice. "Besides, I don't care if you can or can't help."

"I think you may find me a very attentive listener," Remus compromised, angling his body so he could seem more open for the other. "You could tell me and I won't judge you. It's not my right to."

This seemed to capture the first year's attention as he looked at Remus with a sense of hope and loss. Remus offered Xavier a nod of encouragement but all the boy could do was look back down at his knees with a few more sniffles.

"It's my birthday," he said, barely above a whisper.

Remus bit his lip and wanted to reach out but he kept still and raised his eyebrows in mild surprise. For an eleven year old, he did not seem to eager or pleased it was his birthday.

"Congratulations," he said to the other. "A twelve year old now. You must older than some of your other friends, eh?"

Xavier's face turned alarmingly blank before it could crumple. He stiffened at Remus's comment and his hands turned into fists on his lap, the muscle in his jaw jumping as he reconsidered Remus's words.

"My friend is dead," he whispered. "My dog was my only friend and now he's gone. Right before I went to Hogwarts, he had to be put down."

Remus felt suddenly awkward for assuming he had friends. After all, he did not have any for the longest time. Xavier merely stared at the opposite wall, clenching and un-clenching his jaw as if to test its strength.

"I hate it when people say they don't have friends when they really do," Xavier explained softly, tears falling on to his hands. "It makes me feel bad because I really and truly do not have any friends. I was never good at making them and everyone thinks I'm weird. I'm a social outcast."

Remus looked at the boy with a sense of understanding, kneeling down in front of him so they could be on eye level together. Xavier looked at Remus with wide eyes, reddened from crying.

"I was like you," the older said and shrugged lightly. "I had no friends, I still am a society misfit..."

"You have friends! I see you all the time with them! You're like the popular group!" Xavier exclaimed angrily, flinching away from Remus and glaring hard at him.

Remus understood the boy's mistrust in his words but truly, a werewolf was no accepted figure within society. He sighed and reached out for Xavier's shoulder.

"That's right, I do have friends so I won't say I don't," Remus compromised calmly. "But I didn't always have friends. I only started having real friends as soon as I got here. Prior to that, I had no one."

Xavier looked at Remus with wide eyes again and tilted his head to the side ever so slightly, curious to hear more.

"Well, before I met my friends, my closest friends were my parents," Remus said, feeling his own lump in his throat begin to rise. "Their names were Hope and Lyall. My parents were amazing."

Xavier listened with rapt attention, eyes widening yet.

"They were in an accident and they died, Xavier. I never felt more alone," Remus said and reached out for him this time and successfully patted the other's shoulder. "I know that it's not fair, Xavier. I know that you can't feel any more alone than you do right now. But I promise you your best friend is waiting for you to find them. I promise you."

Xavier's tears fell again as he started crying into his arms, wrapping them around himself and hiding within his oversized cloak. Remus's own heart broke at the sight of the lonely boy for he could see himself within this first year more than anyone would have ever imagined. Remus knew exactly what it was like to wander the house, looking for things to do.

He knew what it was like to sit alone at night in bed, trying to justify your time alone as "I like it better this way". He knew what it was like to watch other girls and boys his age hang out with friends and do all these things he thought he was going to do. He knew what it was like to tell everyone that he truly had no friends. But most importantly...

Remus knew what it was like to numb himself to the emptiness loneliness brought forth. He had become immune to the black hole, but sometimes a few words could reopen the wounds he had worked so hard to seal closed forever.

Remus knew what it was like to truly be alone in the world.

"It's okay, Xavier," Remus said gently, wrapping his arms around the boy. "It's okay...I'm here for you."

To Remus's great surprise, a pair of two smaller arms curled and locked themselves around his middle, squeezing him tightly. Xavier buried his face in Remus's shirt and sobbed as the older held him close. The broken boy was so lost in the big world, he had no one and being alone scared him. He was not yet immune to the feeling of emptiness.

Professor McGonagall heard the commotion a mile away and marched down the corridors until he saw the pair. She knew Remus was on Prefect patrol, but she was annoyed he did not come find her when a student was out of bed way past hours. She was annoyed Remus didn't take off house points and she would admit there were times where she did question if Remus was truly the right match for the Prefect badge.

But as she neared them, she realised Remus was holding the boy close and the boy was sobbing. Her angry demeanor instantly melted and her gaze softened. Professor McGonagall approached the two students and looked at Remus first, eyebrows raised.

"It's his birthday," Remus said softly, pulling back a little so he could take a good look at Xavier. "It's Xavier's birthday and I think we should do something for his birthday."

Professor McGonagall, again, raised her eyebrow in questioning but the look on Remus's face told her there was something else she was missing in the story. So, she nodded fairly and addressed Xavier.

"What do you want, Mr. Faulez?" she asked.

Xavier merely shrugged, whispering something under his breath. Professor McGonagall could not hear it but Remus could with his enhanced hearing. The simple request shattered his heart even more.

"You have me, Xavier," Remus said softly, putting an arm around his shoulders and rubbing his arm comfortingly. "I'm here for you...look."

Remus pulled out his wand with his other hand and twirled it in the air. Shooting out from the end of his wand were bedazzling lights, shining brighter than the stars outside. He shot them off towards the ceiling and watched the firework displays go off. The lights exploded into words.

 **HAPPY BIRTHDAY XAVIER**

Professor McGonagall's first reaction was to snap at Remus for breaking school rules but the look on Xavier's face, the look of pure delight, made her rethink chiding the older student. She smiled as she added in her own little addition to the fireworks, raising her wand and shooting off red and gold colors, forming the streams of light into a giant griffon, the symbol of pride for Gryffindor.

"That's it," Remus said with a smile. "We're Gryffindors, Xavier, you and I and Professor McGonagall."

Xavier turned to look at Remus with tears welling in his eyes though they were happy tears...topped with a watery but happy smile.

"That's something nothing can ruin. Gryffindors together," Remus insisted. "We're bonded through that. As long as you are a Gryffindor, you are not alone."

Three new figures came over from the other side of the corridor, turning the corner. Remus took one look and smiled at the sight of his three friends. They all headed over to them and stopped beside Xavier, smiling encouragingly at the boy.

"Hey, there," James said and held out his hand. "I hear it's your birthday. Can I get a high five?"

Xavier obliged and James laughed, aware Professor McGonagall was looking at them with surprise. Sirius and Peter both struck up a conversation with Xavier, talking about birthday wishes. Xavier's smile only grew brighter as more and more people paid any attention to him.

Professor McGonagall was pleased and surprised The Marauders, the infamous trouble makers, could be so genuine. It shocked her to say the least though she never doubted the good hearts the four boys had.

And to say the least, they did not get in trouble for being up and out after hours.

* * *

"What?" James asked, aware Remus was looking at him.

"Nothing," Remus said softly. "I was just thinking."

"Of what, Moony?" James asked, rummaging through his trunk until he found what he was looking for. A piece of Honeydukes chocolate.

"Xavier, he looked so...depressed," Remus said after a short pause. "I dunno, it felt..."

"Familiar," James finished for him. "I reckon so."

Remus looked at James in surprise and the other just kept munching lazily on the candy, breaking off half and giving it to Remus.

Just before Remus was going to say something, Sirius and Peter burst into the dormitory, looking ragged and worn down. The two fought to catch their breath. Remus opened his mouth to say something but his eyes landed on a piece of parchment in Sirius's hands.

"What's that?" James asked, noticing the same thing.

"A letter! We found—in the—Owlery," Peter panted.

Sirius handed the note to James, who took it warily and read it over.

Remus jumped off his bed and peered over James's shoulder. The expressions of the boys went from skeptical to angry to fearful to despaired in the span it took them to read the entire letter.

James set the letter down after crumpling it in his hands. His eyes blazed as he shook. Remus did not even dare touch James at a moment like this but he knew what his friend was thinking.

"I'll kill him. I'll kill him. I will kill my father."

* * *

 **What was that note? Why did James, the loving son of Charlus, say he wanted to kill his own father (who he loves)?**

 **Stay tuned.**


	14. Freedom Does Not Come Free

**All rights remain.**

In the dingy basement of a dingy building deep within a dingy city sat two men. They faced one another with a little round, wooden table separating them. Neither of them said anything right away but the pair kept flickering their gazes to one another, looking then looking away.

"Charlus," the man said in a quiet voice.

"What do you desire?" the man, evidently named Charlus, asked with his lip curled back.

The two lapsed into silence once more, both refusing to say a word. The sound of rushing cars, police sirens, and other society midfits wandering outside were the only noises other than the heavy breathing from the two men.

"I came here because I have been waiting for other two years for what you promised me," the man on the right snarled coldly. "You are deep in debt this time, and it looks like no one is here to save you now."

"Fool, you think killing me will get you what you want?" Charlus sneered with defiance still coursing within his veins.

"No," the man on the right said with a longing and weary sigh. "It won't get me what I desire but it surely will keep you from getting what you want."

"And how, may I ask, do you know what I want?" Charlus challenged, voice rising at the subtle threat he received.

"It's simple, really," the man on the right said with a gesture of his hands. "You want your family. Your family wants you. I want to make you suffer. I will write to your family after and they read the letter sent from you, I will kill them."

Charlus looked at the man with widened eyes and held back a strong of insults. There would be no hindering this man if he truly was going to bring harm to his family. His mind flashed to his wife and son, remembering the day he met Dorea.

He had met her on his way to the Ministry. She had just moved to the area and started her own work as a Healer at St. Mungos. Ever since that day, Charlus had met up with Dorea and the two had walked to work together.

Years later, they had their first and only son James Potter. James was born in March and the day he got to hold his son was the day he claimed to be one of the two best days in his life. His son wailed and cried in his arms though he stared at him with those striking hazel eyes—the same colored eyes Charlus had.

"Potter," the man on the right said with a tap of his finger. "This sounds reasonable, does it not? If not, I will have to make modifications to my idea, ideas in which you will not like either."

"Why?" Charlus panted, hands forming fists on the table top. "Why are you just now starting to surface? After all that's happening, you're worrying about what I have to say on the matter? Is that reasonable, Avery?"

"You have information from the Ministry we need, sure," Avery said, looking at the other with an apparent bored expression. "Information we need—so in trade of your family's well being and lives, will you trade in the information we need to save them? Or will you remain selfish—"

"—I am not selfish nor am I cowardly!" Charlus spat.

"—and spare your career at the expense of your loved ones' lives?" Avery finished as though he wasn't just interrupted.

Charlus looked away and off to the side. Each had a heavy price in the end and though one seemed more favourable than the other, he could not go with either of them. There was a lot Charlus knew about the Ministry so figuring out what information Avery desired without spilling anything else was a risk he was not going to take. The two stared at each other for some quite time before one finally spoke up.

"Ensure my family's safety and I will give you whatever you need to know," Charlus decided, rising to his feet and straining slightly on the cuffs around his wrist. Avery rose to his feet as well and lifted his chin up at the other as if to challenge Charlus. However, the Potter merely bowed his head and let his shoulders sag. Avery rolled his eyes but flicked his wand, strengthening the cuffs around his wrists.

"Potter, really, I would have expected so much more of a fight from you," Avery hummed softly, a small smile twitching the corner of his lips.

The brutish man almost seemed pleasured at the sight of his tortured victim, the depression in the atmosphere and the absolute feeling of helplessness he was causing everyone else around him. Avery fed off the misery of others and simply grew stronger from it. It was the ultimate sign of the monster he really was. And it was the same path his own son would be heading down.

Charlus did not say anything, not falling for the bait. He knew Avery was craving a reaction but he would not give him the satisfaction of watching him writhe in agony as he encouraged it.

"So silent," Avery said thoughtfully. "It makes me wonder if you're reconsidering."

"I'm not," Charlus snarled, baring his teeth at his assailant. "What information from the Minister do you even need, Avery? Why don't you get your little minion son to figure it out? He is less of a suspicion than you."

"I won't involve my son in a battle that is not his to fight...yet," Avery sneered, tapping Charlus hard on the back. "Get moving. We have places to go."

Charlus bit back a retort but his mind was going a million miles an hour; his eyes darted about his surroundings, taking it all in and creating new ideas in his head. Each new idea was weighed carefully with consequences or obstacles, but each idea grew more ad more desperate with every step he took. He was coming up with wild ideas he simply could not pull off but he did not know what else to do.

With fear installed deep within him, Charlus began to come up with a completely new plan, one that would have more permanent consequences that he knew would cost him but he was running out of choices, ideas...and time.

As the two casually walked outside, over the bridge of the rushing water below, Charlus's mind flashed to the ones he loved the most. His family; his family was the reason he got up every morning, his family was his pride, his life, his joy. He would have been absolutely nothing without his family so he sent a silent prayer up to his beloved wife and wondrous son.

 _I love you, my family. In due time, you will find me again, waiting for you._

Avery let out an ear piercing scream as he nearly launched himself over the edge after him. He watched as his only hope slipped between his fingers, escaping his grasp, and leaving him in the pit of hopelessness. Avery sunk to his knees and buried his face in his hands, completely numbed to his only way of being able to see his son again. His ticket out...was lost to him forever.

Charlus Potter had committed suicide, jumping to his death off the concrete bridge and into the water where the jagged rocks below were there to greet him with open arms.

* * *

"Mrs. Potter...?"

"This is she," Dorea said, stepping to the side of her front door and inviting the couple of Ministry officials into the foyer of her manor. "What may I do for you or for the Minister?"

"It is something a little more than that," one wizard said, wrapping himself up in his cloak a little more. "Mrs. Potter, will you please sit?"

"Pray, call me Dorea," she said but she did sit down on the wooden chair off the front entrance. She gestured to the Ministry officials to sit around the table with her. "What is this about?"

"Your husband, Charlus Potter, was reported missing months ago, yes?" one Ministry official asked, pulling out a quill and a piece of parchment. He set it flat against the table they all sat around and began writing.

"May I ask what this is about?" Dorea asked softly, biting her lip.

"This is about Charlus Potter," the Ministry official said, looking at Dorea with a sense of sympathy. "Some of our most confidential information had been exploited by Charlus...one of the very few Ministry employees who know what said confidential information holds."

Dorea knit her eyebrows in confusion, a frown playing at her lips.

"I still fail to understand where this is going," she insisted.

"Charlus Potter, your husband, has exposed some of the Ministry's most private information for money and freedom. He is now on the run with Avery and Mulciber. He is, as of now, one of our top most wanted," the Ministry official said quietly, looking at Dorea, afraid of her reaction.

Dorea could only slump in her chair, hand over her mouth, as she looked at the Ministry workers each in turn. The truth hurt, yes, she knew as much. However, she mutely shook her head, unable to believe such a statement. Although Charlus was once motivated mostly by wealth, he had changed since then. She had witnessed her husband turn from selfish to selfless.

"I'm sorry, Dorea."

 **.oOo.**

 _James Potter,_

 _There was so much I wanted to tell you but I simply could not fit it within the length of a letter. Charlus and I were elated the day you were born; there was no day for us that was better. We love you very much and you must promise me you will never forget this. We consider ourselves the most fortunate of all to have been gifted with such an incredible and loyal son._

 _Charlus and I could not be prouder to see you change into something better. You were once a selfish boy, much like your father, but you have grown into someone who became wiser. I only hope and desire you continue to mature, to grow, and to care. I have seen the way you interact with your friends. I have never seen such devotion in my life besides the devotion I receive from Charlus._

 _James, I wish you could understand the next part of this letter. I wish you will be able to look at this letter and live without regrets or anger or bitterness. The point of this letter is to reassure you we still stand behind you, not to bring darkness within your life. I fear darkness is the only thing most of us are living in nowadays. With everything going on now, family is all we have got. We must treasure family._

 _Family is one of the most important things, James Potter. You mustn't forget this. You must never turn your back on your family, even if they have turned their back on you. You must honor and love your family. That is the difference we have between our acquaintances and the members of our family. Family belongs together, bonded past betrayal and abandonment._

 _I love you very much, James, and I hope you come to understand we both love you very much. The first things on our mind is you and the last thing on our minds is you. We will always love you, James, and I only hope you could return it. James, before I conclude this and you carry on to the second part of the letter, I want you to remember this part. I want you to remember what we have in store for you._

 _James, your father has always had a strange motivation for wealth. Wealth to your father means benefits he wanted to protect his family, his loved ones, us. Wealth meant securing his family together. I know money is not the only thing meant to bond and hold us together, however, your father wanted the very best for you and me. He wanted us to be happy._

 _As you know, through your father's hard work, he had become an important face within the Ministry's work. He had grown to know the secrets and corners of the Ministry people could hardly dream of imagining. The Ministry was built layer upon layer of secrets. Your father explored so much of the Ministry, he began to study each layer until he knew it better than he knew the back of his hand._

 _Charlus worked hard at what he did. He never failed to impress even the best and hardest to please employees within the Ministry. However, with great power brings forth great responsibility and great danger. Your father was a prime target for many, especially during this time. With You Know Who rising to power, Charlus became a very wanted target, a very desirable trophy._

 _Your father did what he could to protect us. He gave the appropriate amount of money and information to his captivators to keep us safe. His only intentions were good and pure, desiring only to protect those he loved and held closest to his heart. Charlus chose between his own career and his family, choosing to sacrifice his own career for the well being of his family._

 _James, I know the Daily Prophet made it sound as though Charlus willingly betrayed us and exploited some of the Ministry's deepest channels and secrets but now within the hands of the supporters of You Know Who, Charlus Potter was a face no one came to ever forget...or to forgive..._

 _I hope you can find it within yourself, James, as my beloved son, to forgive your father._

 _Love from,  
Dorea_

* * *

James sat on his bed, numbed to the emotions building up inside of him, willing to express themselves in the form of boorish words. James's heart ached and tore, breaking down the middle. He always prided his father, looked up to his father, idolized his father's bravery. James hero worshiped his father, his father who happened to be a craven wizard who cared for no one but himself.

His mother was wrong and no matter how much he loved his mother, he could never find it in his heart to forgive his traitor of a father. His father, who he trusted as much as his mother,m turned out to be as bad as the wizards and witches he was willing to kill with a single flick of his wand. If worst came to worst, James would be willing to kill his own father in a fight if the time called for his father's death.

"Prongs—before we jump to any conclusions, can we—"

"—what, exactly?" James said a bit breathlessly, despite not have been moving at all. "What, Remus? What could we possibly conclude other than the stating the obvious?"

Remus was hardly taken aback.

"Do you need time alone?" he asked softly.

And to everyone's great surprise, James nodded wordlessly.

Remus, Peter, and Sirius all got up and left the dormitory, closing the door gently behind them as they made their way down to the Common Room. Each wore an expression of concern but neither of the three addressed their worries.

Meanwhile, James, upstairs, sat on the edge of his bed, blank and impassive looking. While he looked expressionless and indifferent on the exterior, he was writhing in so much emotional agony inside, it hurt. James was hurting and he wanted to suffer alone. He slowly rose to his feet, stuffing the letter in his robes and heading out. He ignored his friends still waiting in the Common Room and headed out.

Once he hit the empty corridors, he tucked tail and ran, trying not to let the tears blur his vision too badly. The fresh air outside blasted him in the face, giving him a clearer mind as he raced across the grounds.

More than anything right now, he wanted a hard drink. He would never admit he often turned to the bottle during difficult times but he did find comfort in the familiar burn as the alcohol slid down his throat.

The desire burned too much for him to ignore and James veered directions, pulling away from the Forbidden Forest where he was going to transform, and made his way to Hogsmeade, trekking through the long way as he stuffed his hands inside his pockets.

September was still mild but the air was still getting chillier and he could not wait for the full moon coming up in a few days. He thought with everything going on, turning to a night of intoxication was not a bad idea at all. He put his best foot forward and went to The Three Broomsticks, where he knew Madam Rosmerta would give him what he was looking for.

As he stepped in and shut the door behind him, Madam Rosmerta dropped what she was doing and came from around the counter, setting her cleaning rag down and taking James by the shoulders, looking at him in concern.

"What's wrong?" she demanded.

James noticed just now tears were staining his cheeks and his eyes were red; he had been crying on his way here but he did not even notice he was doing so until she had so kindly pointed it out. James hurriedly tried drying his eyes while gesturing to her little pub with his hand, trying to tell her he wanted to forget tonight and he wanted to forget now.

Madam Rosmerta must have been feeling extra sympathetic for she merely nodded and guided James to one of the bar stools at the counter where she began pouring him a mixed drink of firewhiskey and the Rounder's Highland Scotch. The drink was set in front of him and within seconds of being set down, James's long fingers wrapped around the glass and he downed the drink like it was water.

"Thanks," James said softly to his bartender. "I appreciate it, really."

Madam Rosmerta only hummed softly in response, going back to cleaning her glasses, standing closer but at a distance from her customer. James said nothing at first, keeping his gaze on the drink.

"Some got religion but they just can't win," James murmured thoughtfully, "so I take to hard drinking and i push my feelings in."

Madam Rosmerta looked and listened on with a saddened heart; something must have happened to this usually cheerful and jovial boy but the dark look and despaired demeanor James had was no mistake.

"What happened, love?" she prompted gently.

"My father...he gave the Ministry's confidential information over for money and freedom," James said, pushing the glass away and pulling out the letter his mother had sent him from home. "He's on the run now."

Madam Rosmerta took the letter with a slight frown, biting her lip.

"And you can ensure this letter is reliable? Is someone making this up?" she asked.

James never thought of that but in his already hazy state of mind, he could only shrug.

 _The real question remained. Charlus Potter was dead; would his son ever find out the truth?_

* * *

 **Padfoot123321: I don't really have a certain day I can update since I've got a hectic schedule. I'm hoping to update more frequently, maybe every two days? Three days? But thank you for being a loyal reader. I'm really glad you enjoy this story. It's because of you and readers like you that I keep writing. I'm so glad you like it and I always look forward to hearing your feedback**

 **Remus: DO you mean the messages like this? The only reason I have not been doing this at the end of the chapter because I wanted to put these last few chapters in stages. No worries. I will always have these messages at the end of the chapters. This is one of my favorite parts.**

 **KaiaRenkin: Thank you so much for stopping by and reading. I will, indeed, see you next time! I hope you found this chapter to be interesting to read and not a waste of your time, haha.**

 **kkla: I hope you enjoyed this chapter, too. By the way, I love your story the life with parents.**


	15. When The Moon Is Your Only Light

**All rights remain.**

Remus struggled to find anything positive during the day and found it nearly impossible to find anything positive when evening came around. During dinner, Remus sat as usual with a textbook in his hands and a quill for note taking in the other. He hardly touched his food, which seemed to upset his friends. The Marauders did what they could to encourage Remus to eat.

James, who had been recovering from a near echo relapse to his not so favorable bad drinking habit, was the first to nudge Remus underneath the table with his leg. Remus looked up with a flash of irritation but James gave him that pleading look, the pleading look Remus had a very hard time saying no to. James was feeling particularly low, especially what happened with his father, so Remus tried to cheer his friend up.

James was never one to take advantage of it, since he really did not know, but he only seemed to use the power of his begging for the well being of his friends; an example would be silently begging Remus to eat something before the transformation. And Remus simply could not say no, so the sixth year sighed and set down his book and quill, eyeing the turkey, Yorkshire pudding, and mashed potatoes on his plate.

"It's good," James reassured with a small smile.

Remus had no doubt the food was good for Hogwarts had never ceased to impress Remus with their cooking skills alone. He picked up his fork and began eating, watching as his other three friends seemed to ease up at the sight. Remus suppressed rolling his eyes because he was more than capable of deciding when he was hungry or not. But he could not chide his friends for caring.

"Better?" Sirius asked after swallowing his mouthful of warm sugar honey tea.

"I hope so," James chimed in after a short pause of silence.

"I took notes for you," Peter added, setting down his toasted bun and rummaging through his bag.

Remus turned his gaze to Peter, curious to see the notes. He had missed Transfiguration, one of the most demanding classes, and Defense Against the Dark Arts, which happened to be one of the hardest classes he was taking. The notes to him were more than vital and it made the transformation all the more stressful or easier to endure. Peter pulled out his notes. And indeed, there were all the notes.

"Thanks," Remus said in deep gratitude. "I...this is really...great."

Peter kind of raised an eyebrow but he smiled anyway, nodding. And the four lapsed back into silence but something stirred inside of Remus, a feeling of nausea and it was coming in waves. Lily had come over, knowing what tonight was, and sat down beside him, asking how he was.

"I'm fine, I promise," Remus rasped though it felt like someone was stabbing him in the abdomen from the inside. "I'm fine, really."

Lily, too, raised that skeptical eyebrow. She was a master at detecting lies but she was never one to call people out on them unless they deserved it. And from the state REmus was in, she knew he was lying to reassure his friends. She simply could not punish him for doing something as selfless as that.

"You don't look well," she insisted, putting a warm hand on his burning forehead. "Remus, you're sweltering. Let me take you to Madam Pomfrey, please."

"Lily, I'm going there soon enough," Remus protested, gently taking her hand in his and pulling it away.

He opened his mouth to say something else but something rose from within his throat and through his teeth. Acidic and foul tasting, Remus put a hand to his mouth, which he instantly clamped shut, and shot to his feet, taking off. His friends looked stunned and quickly followed Remus out of the Great Hall. Lily's eyes darted nervously to the door where the four of them retreated.

She was not the only one watching. Professor Dumbledore kept his gaze on the double doors, Professor McGonagall watched on silently, and Severus Snape had his lip curled back as the scene unfolded.

Remus, however, did not care who was watching him at the time he ran out. All he could focus on was not vomiting in front of the entire Hogwarts student body and with a hand on his stomach and the other slamming the boys lavatory door open, he doubled over the sink and retched up everything he ate, including what he had for lunch and breakfast that day.

"Here," James said and turned into the lavatory, stopping at the door so as not to startle him.

Remus's back arched involuntarily as he threw up, heaving up yellowish white bile. His mouth stung, his throat felt like it was ripped out, and his stomach felt like he had just puked it up. The discomfort was back, leaving him pale, peaky, weary, and sweaty all at once. He shivered, cold from the cold sweat that layered his skin, and closed his eyes, feeling his stomach still churn.

"Can we get you anything?" Peter asked softly from behind.

"Water," Remus croaked, picking himself up and beginning to wash out the sink with the water. "A glass..."

Peter left to get a glass from the Great Hall or kitchen, whichever he went to, while James and Sirius advanced slowly. James helped clean up the area while Sirius took Remus away and sat him down on one of the benches aligning the wall. Remus tried to push Sirius away, insisting it was merely the full moon and this was a normal side effect of being a werewolf.

"Remus, stop," Sirius said sternly, using Remus's real name, which rarely happened. "Moony, you're sick and stop telling me that you aren't. It's painfully obvious so please go to Pomfrey."

"I'm going there anyway," Remus repeated stubbornly, shooting his friend a hefty scowl and a glare. "I can determine my breaking point, Padfoot, I don't need someone else telling me what it is."

"Mate, hardly anyone knows their breaking point since it seems like it's human instinct to push past it," Sirius said and put both hands on either of Remus's shoulders, partly for the comforting contact and partly to anchor his friend to the bench.

"He's right," James said from afar, still cleaning up the mess. "Yes, we're going with you this full moon. We owe it to you and you owe it to us to not be difficult."

"You know I don't feel comfortable doing this," Remus said in a strained voice, eyes pleading for some sign of understanding. "I can't ask you to put your life on risk with a werewolf. I just...it's not right."

"We didn't do this all for nothing," Peter added, stepping back inside with a glass of water for Remus. He walked over and handed it off, looking at his friend with a sense of sadness. "We became Animagi to help you, Moony."

Remus looked down at his water glass and sighed, drumming his fingers on the edge, making it ring lightly. He contemplated for what it seemed like years but with a nod, he finally gave in, letting go of all his concerns and threw all his trust into his friends.

* * *

The full moon was simply bedazzling, brilliant light that radiated as brightly as the sun. The moon was full of mystery and the longing desire to know more. The moon was considered to be a romantic thing, a time of day many confessed their deepest secrets. The moon was filled with hidden joy for many, a mystical thing people looked up and wondered about.

And the full moon was a murderer.

Remus strained and writhed, feeling excruciating agony within himself. His bones cracked, his fingers, his wrists, his elbows, his shoulders all began to reshape themselves, every bone growing larger and protruding from his skin as they moved beneath the thin layer. Remus cracked his eyes open for a moment and gingerly lifted a hand to run his fingers down his spine.

His spine was curving and the pain intensified, amplifying by a million as each vertebrae collapsed on itself and stretched, arcing and lengthening his spine. It felt as if someone was stabbing him in the back and while his back wanted to cave inwardly, away from the sharp pain, it was arcing painfully into the sharp stabbing feels. He could feel his clavicles cracking and shifting into a structure suitable for the werewolf.

The last thing to go was his mind. As Remus ripped off his shirt, not wanting to ruin it any more than it was already ruined, his eyes melted into the deadly amber, the color of the werewolf's eyes. Remus wished the first thing to go was the mind for he would then never have to endure the agony of the transformation and interpret it as a human. He took a last look at the floor before he blacked out.

 _Through here,_ James said and swung his antlered head to the door of the Shrieking Shack. _Next time we're taking the passageway._

 _Are we up for deja vu in the tunnels, Prongs?_ Peter asked sarcastically, resting atop of James's head, his tail wrapped around one of the antlers.

 _Oi, you lot!_ Sirius exclaimed, wagging his tail low to the ground and lifting his nose to sniff the air. _I smell the werewolf. He's transformed._

 _We're taking it easy, right?_ James asked, tilting his head to the side and lifting a foreleg, getting ready to kick the door in. _I reckon he won't have much energy to lose anyway. This moon looked like it was tougher on him than usual._

 _Just because it was tougher, it doesn't mean it made him weaker,_ Peter warned, lifting himself on his hind legs to sniff the air as well, letting his hyper sensitive whiskers catch anything. _We could be in for it, too._

 _So the extreme either way,_ Sirius said in compendium, his tongue lolling out. _I'll go first and see what we have. If everything looks okay, then we'll take him outside. Does that sound fair?_

 _It's what we can all agree on,_ James said with a sigh, using his hoof to break the door off the bottom hinges, cracking it inwardly.

The great dog went in first, crouching low on his haunches and sneaking in, ears pricked and forward. His eyes captured everything, bright and alert as he tread carefully, claws barely scraping the wooden floor. He padded silently up the stairs and pushed the door open with his nose, hackles raised ever so slightly, ready for a fight if need be. However, the room looked empty on first glance.

Confused, the dog went in farther, tail still swinging from side to side, low to the floor. He twitched one ear as he heard ragged breathing from the corner. The familiar scent of the werewolf and blood tainted the air, allowing Sirius to get a sense of how injured Remus had left himself in.

 _I won't hurt you,_ Sirius said as he lowered his gaze from the werewolf. He did not want to look challenging so he kept his posture rather submissive. _I want to help._

The werewolf showed no signs of understanding but it allowed the dog to venture nearer than he would have anticipated. The werewolf was rather docile, more so than usual and showing no signs of aggression. Sirius had high hopes for this full moon.

 _James! Peter!_ Sirius shouted, crawling up to the werewolf and sticking his nose in the gray silver fur, a sign of friendship and comfort.

The werewolf let out a low whine and rested its head on its paws, thin ribs heaving as it bled freely. Sirius looked on with concern though there was not much he could do to stem the crimson flow. He began lapping up the blood from the wound, which seemed to soothe the werewolf, but as soon as James and Peter entered, the peaceful atmosphere shattered.

 _I'm a dog,_ Sirius explained when the stag took a step back. _Canines recognize other canines. The werewolf trusts me._

 _So, what are we supposed to do?_ James asked, taking another step back as the gaze of the werewolf never left him. _I won't risk getting any closer in case it agitates him but you're on your own then._

 _Let him get accustomed before you try again,_ Sirius decided, still lapping up the blood from the wound. _Smell that, Prongs? He injured himself pretty bad this full moon. You can see where he was biting and scratching himself._

 _That's not new,_ James insisted then bobbed his head at the entrance. _But that is._

Sirius rose to his paws to see what the other was talking about. He reared up on his hind legs and put his paws on the window sill, looking out the broken and cracked window with a sense of concern. There was another set of footprints around the Shrieking Shack in the watery mud. Someone was here before they were, which never happened before so he had his doubts.

 _Who was here?_ Sirius breathed, feeling the familiar dread build up in his chest. _No one comes around here._

 _I dunno but I bet they weren't here by accident,_ James said softly, lowering his head to let Peter off on the window sill. _Think you could take a look?_

 _What good what it do?_ Sirius asked meaningfully. _Even if I pick up a strong scent, I won't recognize it unless I've smelled it before as a dog._

 _It can't hurt to try,_ Peter said in all fairness, looking out the window with twitching whiskers.

Sirius sighed and closed his eyes, ears pulled back slightly and teeth a bit bared. He sighed again and got off his haunches, shaking out is fur and heading in the opposite direction. They had investigated and there was nothing else they could do. James turned his attention back on the werewolf, who was still glaring at him, and bowed his head in a sign of mutual respect.

The werewolf merely laid its head back down on its paws and let out a longing sigh, barely stirring after lying back down. Its ears moved every so often but the wolf remained a statue for the remainder of that night. Something was wrong and bothering the werewolf, making it still and cower in the corner. The werewolf acted out in fearful aggression whenever it did move.

 _Something is here or something,_ Sirius said without a trace of doubt. _Something's bothering him or making him act like this._

 _We don't have to worry about taking him out,_ James said, trying to sound a little too optimistic. _If you're right, Padfoot, it's long gone._

 _What if it's not?_ Sirius protested, looking around as if expecting to see something he previously missed.

James sighed and buckled his forelegs in, laying on the wooden floor and simply watching the werewolf's strangely docile behavior. He was not opposed to this for it was much better than having to fight it but he had to admit...seeing the werewolf like was certainly strange and even a little suspicious. It kept its head lowered and its gaze averted and downward the entire night.

As the night wore on, the dog laid down beside the werewolf and began to ponder, realizing patterns and fixing them in his head. Perhaps the thing that came never left and they were just looking at the wrong thing the entire time. He put his head on his paws and deflated, stirring whenever Peter or James stirred. When he finally lumbered off into a slumber, Sirius was out.

 _The Hogwarts grounds were protected by enchanted spells made to detect the slightest intrusion and alert those who inside the castle walls. However, there were always ways to filter past the enchantments and with a clever mind that could think outside the box, the task of getting past the shield was quite easy._

 _Or perhaps..._

 _They were already inside Hogwarts grounds._

* * *

Remus groaned audibly, waking uncomfortably to a comfortable hospital bed. He blinked blearily and narrowed his eyes until his gaze could focus and his mind could hone in on something more than pain.

"Hey," came a voice from his left. "How are you feeling?"

"Tired," Remus rasped and blinked up at the sound of the voice. His eyes landed on the face of Sirius. "What?"

The expressions of his friends were the first things he noticed about them; the second thing he noticed were their weird demeanor and the way they held themselves. It made him suspicious.

"Nothing," James reassured, waving a hand for emphasis. "We're just glad you're all right. Last night was strange."

He did not know what that meant or what his friends were attempting to insinuate but it was making him feel very wary. Something seemed to flicker in James's eyes but it was there and gone so quickly, Remus swore he just imagined it. James, however, averted his gaze downward, hands twisting in his lap.

"James," Sirius said seriously, using James's real name, which meant he was being serious. "Care to finish what you were saying?"

"Really?" Remus asked, looking at himself up and down. "I don't feel...injured or anything. What happened last night anyway?"

"That's just it," Peter said, his hands twisting in his lap uncomfortably.

"What do you mean?" Remus asked again, getting a little more impatient this time. "What are you all looking at?"

"There was something else," James said, exchanging glances with Peter and Sirius before continuing. "We saw footprints and Sirius caught a scent that didn't seem familiar to him. We were going to go to Hogsmeade as Animagi to see if we could catch a similar and familiar scent but..."

James trailed off and shrugged, evidently lost for words.

"We don't remember anything from last night either," Sirius said, looking directly at Remus.

* * *

 **1Monster2: Thank you so much and I love all your Harry Potter and Narnia fanfics! I've repeated myself a few times but I can't get over how amazing they are.**

 **Son of Whitebeard: Gotta love Rosmerta!**

 **KaiaRenkin: I'm glad. I always look forward to hearing from you. It genuinely and truly does brighten my day and I post chapters in hopes, looking forward to hear your feedback.**

 **kkla: You keep up your amazing work, too! Your writing has inspired me so I hope I've done you justice with it so far!**

 **Padfoot123321: Yeah, sorry. I promise I'll be frequent. That's a promise I can make.**

 **Remus (7789 I think?): This is my favorite part because I don't think of you just as my reviewer. I think of you as an honest friend that I look forward to hearing from. I like these messages because it's really enjoyable to talk back and forth with you.**

 **To all reviewers and frequent visitors. I really do think of you as more than just people who read these stories. I think of you as awesome people who brighten my day with their feedback and honesty. I appreciate it, really and honestly.**

 **Thanks again and until next time!**


	16. The Only Lily With Thorns

**All rights remain.**

"You must be joking!" Remus exclaimed.

James bit his lip and cast his gaze downward, trying not to look at Remus's look of outrage. In his mind, his logic seemed warranted but saying it out loud made him feel more foolish than he originally anticipated. Remus smacked his forehead with a hand, screwing his eyes shut and turning away from James so he could not see him in such a state of disbelief.

"Moony," James tried, reaching out for Remus though only to have his hand pushed away.

James looked at Sirius with a sense of shock and surprise, even a little hurt, but Sirius merely looked as bewildered as Remus. Clearly James had done something crazy, even for Sirius Black.

"Look, I know it's tough on you and you want to know but I...I really have been meaning to ask her," James said softly then smacked himself.

It did sound pathetic, even to his own ears. It was even worse now that he said it out loud to Remus. The werewolf looked like he wanted to protest more but he merely sagged, shrugging James off and waving a hand.

"Yeah, go on," Remus insisted though not unkindly. "I was just overreacting. Honest, just go ask her before someone else does."

He tried to add some good and light humor into the conversation, which they had to give him credit for. James looked at his friend once he sobered up and looked at Remus with a soft and gentle gaze.

"I won't," he said humbly. "I choose you."

Remus turned a bit red at that, not used to the openly confessed affection from his friends.

"Go on," Remus said more firmly albeit he wore a smile. "There's still the chance she'll say no but you will never know until you ask her."

Sirius snorted at that, folding his arms over his chest and eyeing James up and down. Sirius had been oddly bitter and flippant whenever James talked about Lily Evans. Did Sirius fancy her more than he originally thought? It was a question that ran through the werewolf's head more than once.

"Like he hasn't been doing that for the past five years," Sirius scoffed but looked at his shoes. "I thought we were going together, Prongs."

Remus was beginning to put the pieces together and though he was curious, he did not press. Instead, James gave Remus a quick hug before heading out of o their dormitory, forgetting to shut the door behind him as per usual. Remus walked over wordlessly and shut the door himself, climbing back on to his bed afterward. Wondering when Sirius was going to say something, he cracked open a book and began scanning the words, waiting.

"Think we could bust Wormy out and go to Hogsmeade?" Sirius asked after a few seconds of silence.

"We are not doing that," Remus shot down immediately, shaking his head dismally. "Who do you think I am? I am a Prefect."

"You almost sounded posh," Sirius said with a little laugh despite the obvious anger flaring in his eyes. "So you really aren't peeved the git's ditching you for a girl he's been chasing after for years?"

Remus raised an eyebrow to which Sirius threw his hands up in a gesture of surrender.

"Just saying," Sirius insisted with his hands still up.

Remus flashed him a look of irritation but sighed, rolling his eyes instead.

"Why would I be mad, Padfoot?" he asked, adding pointedly, "the only jealous one is you."

Sirius looked taken aback, stung, angry, defiant, sad, conflicted, and everything in between in just one flash of an expression. But within seconds, it was gone, masked by the familiar smirk Sirius wore to hide his true feelings. He threw an arm around Remus's neck and pulled him closer by the tie.

"I'm not jealous, I've got you, which is way better than Evans," Sirius said and pecked his friend's warm cheek. "Why, Moony, are you blushing?"

"Only because of your idiocy and being seen in public with you," Remus teased, knowing Sirius knew it was all in good nature.

Sirius rubbed the corner of his eyes and twisted the necktie around his hand, still pulling Remus closer. Many would have found this bold and flirtatious but if anyone asked Sirius if he cared, he would shake his head and strut off. Remus did not really seem bothered by it either for he was used to his friends (Sirius in particular) being very touchy and always in his personal space. But that was why he loved his friends.

 **.oOo.**

Lily tapped the quill against her lips, which were pulled down in a faint frown. She looked troubled as she read and reread her Transfiguration essay. Something about it displeased Professor McGonagall but no matter what she did or how many times Professor McGonagall explained it, she just could not understand what she did wrong and what she should do to change it.

She was never really into Transfiguration; Charms and Potions were the two subjects she excelled in but Transfiguration always challenged her to the brink of massive headaches and deep urges to pull out hair.

Just as she was about to put her head down and close her eyes, Lily heard her name (or rather her surname) being shouted across the Common Room. Heaving a sigh, she recognized the voice and was getting ready to tell Potter off. However, he started talking before she could get a chance to turn him down.

"Transfiguration essay, right?" James asked, pointing at the slightly crinkled parchment. "I got an Outstanding on it, if you trust me to give you some advice."

Lily's jaw nearly dropped open as she instantly slammed her hand over her grade, which happened to be a bold red word: DREADFUL. However, the longer she glared at Potter, the more she realized how sincere he sounded. There was no boastful tone when he offered.

"You must be joking, Potter," Lily said, still sounding a little skeptical but unable to help it. "Are you joking?"

James started to look over his shoulder but stopped midway in the action and shrugged his shoulder, pushing his glasses a bit farther up his nose.

"I can help," he said. "We all have our strengths and weaknesses, right?"

Lily set her jaw, clenching it so the muscle jumped, but she did not deny the offer. She simply could not understand Transfiguration alone and she wanted this essay done, even if it meant accepting Potter's help. After all, he was doing rather well in the class.

"Okay, fine!" Lily huffed, letting out a heavy breath and blowing a few stray strands of hair out of her eyes while brushing them back. "Fine, what can I do to make this…better?"

She reluctantly pushed her work across the table to where James had sat down and covered her face with her hair and hands nonchalantly as James read what she had done. She hated the way James looked so…humbly superior to her even though she _knew_ he was not being arrogant. That's what made it even worse.

"Well?" Lily asked, trying to sound impatient instead of nervous. It felt like, to her, James was reading her personal diary and he would be able to learn all of her deepest secrets just by the way she wrote her essays.

"I think it's great," James said and set the essay back down flat on the table, pulling out his quill and pointing out a few mistakes. " _Vera Vertas_ is a Latin root, not a Greek root."

Lily sighed and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear as she crossed out the mistake and fixed it. Her hand was actually shaking and rather sweaty but she had no idea why.

"And," James said, pausing a little to reread what her sentence below. "Transfiguration is spelled T-R-A-N-S-F-I-G-U-R-A-T-I-O-N. You just forgot the 'I' before the 'O'."

At this measly mistake, Lily blushed furiously as she covered her face with her hair, bending over her essay in exaggeration. James noticed her embarrassment and tilted his head slightly in questioning, not understanding how she could ever feel such a thing when all he saw was perfection.

 _Stop,_ James chided to himself and looked at his hands.

"Thanks, Potter," Lily grumbled and fixed the little mistakes, setting it aside as she began packing away her things.

About a half hour had passed since they first sat down. James had really taken his job of helping seriously, not wanting to let her down. Lily did notice but she was a bit flustered and desperately wanting an escape. However, she found herself more reluctant to leave than she was initially anticipating.

Her heart raced.

"I…I was going to ask if you wanted to go to Hogsmeade with me today," James said softly, looking at his knees as he spoke. "It's fine if you don't want to, but I thought I would ask."

Lily sighed and fumbled with the strap of her book bag. She truly did owe James after he had taken time out of his day to help her. However, she could not bring herself to say yes due to the millions of roiled emotions churning inside her.

"Sorry, Potter," Lily said, a little brashly. "I can't."

James licked his lips, biting it as he slowly rose to his feet. He swung his book bag over his shoulder and slid past Lily, flashing her a half smile.

"Okay," was all he said.

Lily bit her lip, too, and ran a hand through her hair as she watched James's retreating back. She felt something within her, a feeling she found a little frightening because she simply could not put a finger on it. She merely shook it off after a few more moments and made her own way out of the Common Room.

"Oi, Potter!"

James turned around at the sound of his name...but more at the voice.

"Yeah," he said, turning around and looking at Lily Evans.

Lily came up to him, hair pulled over to one side as she grabbed his upper arm. Unknown to her, James's entire arm felt like it was lit on fire, the warmth spreading throughout the rest of his body and warming him from head to toe. It made him fight back a smile.

"Let me get a jacket," she said a little breathlessly, backing to the portrait hole again. "It's kind of cold out."

James's eyebrows drew together in confusion to which Lily rolled her eyes.

"Hogsmeade, Potter," Lily clarified with a little huff of something else. "Right, you still want to go, right?"

"Yeah," James said in awe.

"And with me," Lily concluded, feeling her chest tighten with nerves.

The moment of silence did not appease her doubt and suddenly she found herself wishing she had just let him go to Hogsmeade without her. But she saw that smile…

 _Oh, that smile James Potter always wore around her…his genuine smile…_

And seeing his smile, his real smile, Lily felt at ease once more.

"Yeah, I'd love to," James said and rubbed his nose. "I'll wait here."

Lily inhaled deeply through her nose before blinking, motioning with her head for him to follow. James looked skeptical.

"You know the stairs change into a slide whenever a bloke tries to get in, right?" James asked, pointing at the staircase leading to the girls' dormitories.

"Not unless I invite you," Lily said with a roll of her eyes. For a moment, it almost looked fond.

James shrugged and nodded as he followed Lily up the stairs. Sure enough, the staircase did not change although it did seem like it wanted to. When he brought his gaze upward, he looked at the door of Lily's dormitory and suddenly felt his heart hammering against his chest, blood drumming in his ears.

"Potter," Lily said and motioned him inside with a hand. "It's empty for one. Just help me find a jacket I can wear."

James followed her in, unable to really believe this was actually happening. Lily, who had gone from hating his very existence seemed to turn and accept his existence, even if it was a little reluctantly. He was curious to know what had changed in her.

"Do you fancy this one?" Lily asked, breaking James out of his trance. "Do you think it's too heavy for this weather?"

She held up a long black pea coat, much like his own, but it fit her just right.

"No, I think that's great," James said with a nod, sticking his hands in the pockets of his own jacket. "I like it."

Lily looked at him with a quirked eyebrow before slipping it on and pulling her hair out from under the collar. She smoothed it out then nodded, walking past James and leading the way out. James followed at a similar pace though he still seemed like he was in shock this was actually happening.

It was the beginning of October, within the end of the first week of the new month, and already the weather was growing chillier. No one went outside in short sleeves anymore and often had to resort back to long sleeves or light jackets.

On the walk, James stole a few sideways glances at Lily. With all the changing leaves, turning from green to red, yellow, orange, and brown, Lily looked simply radiant in his eyes. He blushed a little at the thought of him snogging her underneath a brightly colored tree with leaves emulating a burning red flame.

"Potter," Lily said again, her voice breaking him from his thoughts again.

James looked at Lily with a sheepish glance then tried to mask it.

"Yeah?" he asked casually.

"I called your name like three times," Lily said and pulled the sleeves over her hands. "I was just asking where you wanted to go or what you wanted to do."

"Oh," James said and looked thoughtful. "I don't really care. I was just going to ask if you wanted to walk around."

"That sounds great, Potter," Lily said and flashed him a ghost of a reassuring smile. "By the way, can you stop for a minute?"

James found the request a little odd but he stopped walking and looked in bewilderment as Lily pulled her hands from out of her sleeves and ushered James off to the side of the pathway, getting down on one knee and going for his shoelaces…which happened to be undone.

Lily was tying his shoe for him.

James almost passed out.

"As amusing as it would be to watch you fall, Potter, you might want to keep better maintenance on your shoes," Lily said and got back to her feet after she finished. "Just a suggestion."

James could half believe himself and half not believe himself. He was already a puddle on the ground from the simple gesture of shoe tying…but this was Lily Evans, the girl who hated him like he was a killer plague and avoided him as if he were one. The girl he had asked out every year every chance he got, she had finally…had she agreed to go out on a date with him? Did this count as a date? Did this mean she was giving him a chance? Or was this another way to get back at Snape? Was he just being used as a novelty to get someone else jealous or angry?

All these doubts ran through his head and it gave him a headache but he looked at Lily and felt his heart beat faster once again. He realized whatever the reason Lily had to give him a chance or at least tolerate him for a few hours, he did not care about the reason. If being used meant he could spend time with Lily, he would gladly be used as a pawn in a game of revenge.

He would gladly do anything for Lily.

"Fancy a walk to the old willow?" Lily asked softly, sticking her hands in the pockets of her jacket. "It's quiet over there. The leaves are changing all around the pond. It's really quite something."

James looked at Lily with a nod so she led them down the little path off the edge of Hogsmeade and brought him to the small pond surrounded by trees. Lily gestured to the area in general, smiling softly though she was not smiling at him but more at her surroundings.

"This is really brilliant," James said and looked around. "The colors make this place look so much more appealing."

Lily rubbed her arms with her hands then wrapped herself in her arms, inhaling through her nose again and running a hand through her hair.

"I always thought so, too," she said and rubbed her mouth. "Petunia and I…my sister…we had a place like this back home. We'd always go there."

"Lily?" James asked, biting his lip.

Lily turned in surprise at the sound of her first name though she did not comment on it. She merely looked at him, waiting for him to continue.

"What's this about?" he asked, knowing this simple question could spiral to the end of whatever this was with her (if it could count as something).

"What do you mean?" Lily asked, voice rising in pitch just half an octave.

"Why are you…what made you change your mind?" James asked then dared to add what was really on his mind. "Am I just…part of your revenge plot against Snape?"

He was careful to use Snape's real name.

Lily wrapped herself in her arms tighter and turned away, a few tears pricking the corner of her eyes. She did not speak for some time, James assumed it was because she was afraid of her voice breaking, but after thirty seconds of silence, she had no choice.

"I don't know, Potter," she said, sounding strained. "I…I'm confused. I don't know what to do with myself. I'm so lost and I thought…I thought if I went on a date with you…I'd be able to…"

"To what?" James asked softly, prompting her gently.

"I'd be able to find a bit of myself I'm familiar with," Lily said, burying her face in her hands.

"What do you mean?" James asked, getting confused now himself.

"I hate you, Potter," Lily moaned, her voice breaking as she felt the tears fall on to her cheeks. "I thought coming here would help me feel like myself again because hating you is familiar to me."

 _Ouch._

James felt his heart shatter, his hopes slap him right across the face, and his feelings cut up and left to bleed out. Whatever this…this belief something was going to happen between the two of them instantly vanished, along with his little ray of happiness.

"Oh," he said and ran a hand through his hair.

Lily sniffled, wiping away her tears.

"I'm…sorry, Potter," she said and started backing away. "I'm sorry. I can't do this right now."

James watched her disappear without a word and suddenly, he felt his own tears well up in his eyes, threatening to spill over. He blinked them away, turned his back to the direction Lily left in, and stared at his ugly reflection in the pond. He curled his lip back at the sight of himself and tried blasting it away with angry flourishes of his wand.

The surface of the watery mirror were disturbed with every blast of fire James sent at his reflection, heart tearing in two.

Little did he know Lily was crying, but not for the reason anyone would have expected.

* * *

Remus bit back an angry retort as he slid on his bed, stretching out and kicking off his shoes and setting them on the side of his bed. It was pretty late, close to midnight. Frank was already asleep and with Remus's muffle detection spell he stole from Professor Flitwick, he deemed it safe to talk softly with their own noise shield cast around Sirius and Peter's bed.

"It's...there was someone else there?" Remus said for the fourth time that day, absolutely unable to believe such a thing.

"We saw footprints," Sirius said and leaned against his headboard. "I don't know what else to say about that other than they were suspiciously close to the Shrieking Shack the same night of the full moon."

"I..."

Remus broke off and looked at the wall opposite to them. Something had sparked inside his head, making the wheels churn like mad and his thoughts go on high alert. His eyes widened as he paled visibly.

"What?" James asked softly.

"I know who it was."

" _What_?" Peter, Sirius, and James all said together.

* * *

 **Remus 7119: I don't think you're annoying or nagging. I'm just glad whenever you do reply, haha.**

 **Son of Whitebeard: Oh, yes. We'll see if James is going to be more focused on Lily or Remus.**


	17. Memories Are Sharper Than Blades

**All rights remain.**

 **~MEMORY~**

 _It was the beginning of the summer holiday in June and Remus Lupin had just finished his fifth year at Hogwarts. Caden, his eldest cousin, had left due to her pregnancy and Remus was thrown in his aunt's home. Aunt Beatrice was something special to him but she was aging and frail. His uncle, Aunt Beatrice's husband, had died from a cardiac infarction when Remus was four; the same time he had turned into the werewolf._

 _Aunt Beatrice had taken good care of Remus and he felt fortunate to live with her. He had developed protective instincts that ran deep. So, when he had to transform, he took himself far into the cellar of his aunt's home and chained himself to the wall and locked himself in a cage. It was the way he could assure he would not hurt her, but Aunt Beatrice shook her head in protest._

 _"I know where you can go, Remus, dear," Aunt Beatrice said, leading Remus out into the backyard. "Here, follow me."_

 _Aunt Beatrice did not live in a congested suburban area. The lawns were large and there was a line of trees covering the back of half the long block. Remus was led to a small shed with pillows and blankets and an iron door. Aunt Beatrice waved her wand and in seconds, the shed was cleaned. She then turned to Remus and put a hand on his shoulder, looking at him with deep sadness._

 _"Please be careful," she said, barely above a whisper. "I will come to see you in the morning."_

 _Remus bit his lip and looked inside the shed. He felt overwhelmed with emotions for Aunt Beatrice had not only cleaned the shed for him but she aligned the walls and floors with cushions. She wanted him and the werewolf to be comfortable._

 _"I'll brew a few potions and bring them," Aunt Beatrice promised and stood on her toes to hug her nephew, rubbing his back comfortingly. "It'll be okay. I'm not Hope or Caden but I can get the job done."_

 _"Love you, Aunt Bea," he said._

 _Remus hugged her back, pouring all of his gratitude and loyalty into the action, before pulling back with a strained smile. He went into the shed, shut the door, locked it, and sat down on one of the cushions so he could wait for the full moon to rise in peace._

 _Aunt Beatrice had walked back to her house, dimming the lights to a comfortable and cozy glow. Unknown to her, a stranger wandered along her property, watching her every move and eventually leaving the house and heading for the shed._

 _"Lupin, right?"_

 _Remus could have sworn he locked the door, but of course someone used magic to open it from the outside. He stared up at the hooded figure and felt his defensive instincts kick in on high alert._

 _"No," Remus lied._

 _"Whatever you are, werewolf," the figure said with a snarl. "Greyback wants you."_

 _Remus's blood turned cold in every vein in his body as he visibly recoiled. The figure snickered cruelly and surely smirked, finding great pleasure in the boy's discomfort. However, saying Greyback's name sent shivers down his own spine._

 _"Greyback?" Remus rasped, mouth arid. "What does he want from me?"_

 _"You," the figure said with a shake of his head. "Greyback is looking for recruits."_

 _Remus's eyes widened in shock and horror, raising his hands and rising to his feet. He looked angry and fearful. How could Greyback have found him when he had done so well to shake the monster off his tail? What about Aunt Beatrice? What had they done to her? Was she being threatened right now? All those questions raced through his head as he faced the intruder._

 _"Tell him forget it," Remus snapped, squaring himself to his full size. "Get out and I won't hurt you."_

 _"Hurt me?" the figure said with a little twisted laugh. "I don't think I'm threatened."_

 _Remus spit at the man's face before doubling over. Through his blurred vision, he could see the intruder taking a step back, leaning against the door of the shed and wrapping himself in his cloak. Remus let out a groan of pain, clamping his mouth shut as soon as the noise passed his lips._

 _And the familiar transformation was occurring. Remus collapsed on the ground in a writhing fit but through his dazed state of mind, he watched the intruder, wondering why he didn't just attack him now since he was so vulnerable. But it took him a minute to realize the intruder was doubled over, too. And it took him one more minute to realize the intruder was a werewolf._

 _With the shed door locked and bolted and two territorial, male, powerful werewolves, tonight was going to be something of a bloodbath. In ten minutes, there stood two werewolves. One had silver gray fur and stood where Remus once had. The other had reddish brown fur and stood where the intruder stood. The two werewolves locked gazes in a canine signal of challenge._

 _The russet snarled low, laying its ears back and rising up to its hind legs, claws and dagger teeth gleaming in the moon's dim glow. However, the silver rose to its own hind legs. Though thinned and so badly wounded from before, the silver had speed on its side._

 _The two launched at each other at the same time, crashing into one another and knocking skulls and clashing teeth, scoring claws down their targets to rip off flesh right from the bone. While the two were locked in an epic battle for dominance, the werewolves were splattering their own blood on the walls, floor, and ceiling. The ground was slick and covered in crimson; the cushions were already torn up._

 _And without warning, the russet bowled forward, charging with speed and slammed the silver into the wooden wall, sending it straight through the foundation and outside. The silver scrambled to its paws though heaving for air. It was dazed from the attack and the strength of the blow had left damage to its ribs._

 _The russet was about to launch another attack when it stopped and whipped its head around, ears pricked up and alert. The silver, too, had risen to its hind legs to sniff the air, opening its mouth to get the scent on the roof of its mouth. It smelled familiar, oddly so. The silver's ears twitched ever so slightly as soon as it heard the sound of footsteps over twigs and soft grass._

 _It was Aunt Beatrice. She had been forced out of her home and to wander into the path of two savage beasts, both craving human flesh and very hungry._

 _And both werewolves were looking at Aunt Beatrice like she was their perfect idea of prey._

 _"Remus, please," Aunt Beatrice said, shaking and holding up her hands. "Please, find yourself within. Don't harm anyone."_

 _The silver was now challenging the russet, flashing its teeth to tell it to go away. The russet, however, was not keen on letting the silver get all the prey. It rose higher on its hind legs and advanced a few steps towards the silver. The silver found this as aggression and immediately rose to the challenge._

 _"No," Aunt Beatrice wheezed, her graying hair falling out of its bun and her glasses sat askew on her nose. "Please, Remus, please. Think of Hope, think of your mother."_

 _Talking to the werewolves like they were human was hopeless and Aunt Beatrice soon came to realize so. The two were set on ripping each other's throats out so they could rip of the throat of its prey. The two were evenly matched as they clashed once more._

 _The sound of bone against bone echoed throughout the night, bouncing off trees and rebounding for all to hear. Aunt Beatrice flinched at the sound and watched in horror as the russet closed its jaws around the silver's throat._

 _The silver struggled desperately to free itself, thrashing in the jaws of its killer and clawing every inch it could reach of its opponent. A particularly bad gash to the nose of the russet forced it to release the silver and recoil._

 _"No!" Aunt Beatrice shrieked._

 _The silver launched forward and grabbed the russet's entire muzzle, clamping up and down on the bone in a scissor grip. With vice like strength, the silver managed to clamp its jaws over the roof of the russet's mouth, driving its fangs into the roof of its mouth and down on its nose._

 _The russet howled in agony, shredding the silver's face until it was forced to let go. The russet had locked its jaws and sent its own canines through the bottom of the silver's mouth, spraying blood and letting it pool on its tongue, drinking in the sweet taste of flesh and blood._

 _This went on for hours and without anyone to stop it, the werewolves tore each other apart until they had to stop, forcing to separate and retreat. They had forgotten about the human, which was on Beatrice's own luck, and had skidded from the scene, limping off and going to lick their wounds in privacy and solitude._

 _In the morning, Remus was on the ground in a pool of his own blood. His skin hung in strips as the claws of his attacker ripped gashes and deep incisions like a knife. He had lost most of his energy he needed to get up so he simply laid there until someone was to come and find him. It was fortunate Aunt Beatrice did and healed him the best she could for he would have most likely bled out if it were not for Aunt Beatrice._

 **~End~**

The Marauders sat in the back of class during History of Magic, letting Professor Binns talk everyone to sleep while they exchanged notes. It was rather habit for them to do so especially in this class.

-Those footprints we saw earlier, you think you know who's they were? –S

-I have a hunch, yes. –R

-Why didn't you tell us earlier? –J

-I wanted to be sure. –R

-What _did_ make you sure? –P

-A letter and my memory, Wormy. –R

-Right, well, do you have the letter with you? –P

-Yeah. Hang on. –R

Remus rummaged through his book bag until he pulled out a folded piece of parchment, which happened to be the letter from Aunt Beatrice. He sent it on its way to Peter and James, who were sitting together. The two casually read the letter as they set it down flat on the table.

 _Remus,_

 _I find this to be a very strange question but the man's name was Ryser. He was identified as a Death Eater since May this past year. Ryser is a werewolf and has been since he was about four. He was taken from his parents at the young age and raised within a werewolf community underground. The werewolf who infected Ryser is still unidentified; however, he is a known avid supporter of Greyback._

 _I hope this helped, Remus. I only wanted to bring closure, not anger or bitterness._

 _Love from,  
Aunt Bea_

-Who is Ryser? I've never heard of him. –J

-I have. –S

-What? –P

-Well, my mum has actually. Ryser was one of the dinner guests at a party I went to right in the beginning of the summer holiday. He didn't seem to abnormal compared to everyone else though he was cut up pretty badly. –S

-A Death Eater? –P

-If he is said to be one than he is one. It's not too hard to check since all you have to do is look at their left arm and find the Dark Mark. Ryser though tried committing suicide, that's what I've heard. The prat hates his life and it serves him right for following Greyback like a lost puppy. –S

-No pun intended. What's a Dark Mark? –R

-Ha, ha. I see what you did there. –J

-A Dark Mark is the brand all Death Eaters have. It's a skull and a snake coming out like a long tongue. I think anyway. I'm almost positive. When Voldemort touches the mark, it's supposed to burn and it summons the Death Eaters to wherever Voldemort is. –S

-Not to sound weird but how do you know this? –P

-My brother. –S

Sirius's face had turned stone cold as he stared at his enchanted parchment, his eyes blazing and his hand forming into a fist.

-Anyway, I bet Ryser found a way in Hogwarts. –R

-The question is: what is his motive for doing so? Why didn't he go after you that night? –J

-I don't know his motive but I could guess why he didn't pull anything that night. He didn't want anyone to know he was there. –R

-And if he did? –S

-Then he would have attacked me. Ryser isn't stupid. He knows Dumbledore and Pomfrey see to me every morning when I change back. If he wanted to kill me, he knew Dumbledore would know. –R

-But how would Dumbledore know who did you in specifically? –J

-Ryser is wanted for Azakaban and was last seen in thirteen miles from Hogsmeade. I think Professor Dumbledore could piece it together pretty easily. –R

-Well, you never said that before. –J

-Don't you read the _Daily Prophet_? –R

-No. –S

-No. –J

-Nope. –P

-Wow. –R

History of Magic began to end as soon as students began to stir from their slumber, forcing The Marauders to pause their notes and pack their things away, getting ready for a horrible lesson in Potions with the overenthusiastic Professor Slughorn.

"Speaking of Slughorn, did you get the invite?" James asked, pulling something from his book bag. "There's a dinner party we're supposed to attend."

"It's so exclusive," Remus said with a tsk. "Who cares? I don't really fancy going."

"You said you would," Sirius exclaimed.

Remus pulled a face and quickened his pace. Slughorn's parties seemed like fun but he did not want to waste his time going. He was reluctant and he had no desire fighting the embarrassment of asking a girl to the party.

"Don't we have other things to worry about?" Remus said with a little quirk of his eyebrow.

"He's kind of right," Peter chimed in, quickening his pace to keep up with his friends. "If Ryser's after Moony, who else is? They're trying to recruit him and are using brute force to make him submit."

Remus did not want it to be put like that but Peter had pretty much voiced his concerns in a few sentences. Remus rubbed his arm awkwardly and tried to avoid the stares he was receiving from his other two friends.

"To bluntly put it, yes, Wormy," Remus muttered, shaking it off. "But I wasn't really going to put it that way. What I was going to say was someone's able to get inside school grounds."

"Hogsmeade isn't a part of the most powerful parts of the shield," Peter said then waved his hand at his bad explanation. "You know what I mean. The strongest part of the shield is the grounds of Hogwarts directly."

"Hogsmeade should be close enough and there are spells to prevent just anyone from walking in," Remus protested and tapped his nose in thought, folding his arms over his chest and looking thoughtful.

"Maybe it has shields against humans," Sirius said with a pondering hum. "Maybe not against animals."

"It should detect Animagi and transfiguration," Remus argued, knitting his eyebrows as James shook his head and looked around.

"Mate, we're unregistered and they haven't noticed a thing," the bespectacled boy said and ran his hand through his hair. "Sirius is right...for once. Those shields aren't as effective as they are right at the castle."

Remus leaned against the wall, feeling his headache increase massively. He simply walked to Potions without another word on the subject, deciding it was too tiring to talk about, especially since it just occurred.

Potions happened to be one of the most difficult yet boring classes Remus had ever agreed to take. Sometimes he wished he never agreed to sign up for James and Lily. He was practically standing and sleeping at the same time, head bowed and arms bracing him against the table.

"Lupin!" Slughorn said merrily, startling the werewolf out of his half slumber.

"Professor," Remus said, jumping and nearly slicing off his finger with the knife. "Professor, I was just...I just...I was reading."

James rolled his eyes but Remus ignored his friend. Professor Slughorn merely shrugged the student's strange behavior and folded his hands as he smiled down at the sixth year werewolf.

"Are you attending the dinner party, Mr. Lupin?" he asked pleasantly.

"I'd be delighted," Remus said, ignoring his friends' surprised glances. "Thank you, sir."

Professor Slughorn looked even happier with that answer and clapped Remus on the back, effectively letting his elbow to knock over Peter's stack of bat wings he had for the potion. Growling, Peter had to retrieve them and replace them.

"I'm glad, you didn't reply so I thought I would ask you in person, Mr. Lupin," Professor Slughorn said, not even noticing the disturbance he caused for Peter. "All that matters none. You're attending and I'm so very glad you are."

"Course," Remus said and nodded, averting his attention back to his cauldron. "I'll be there."

Professor Slughorn let out a little exclamation of excitement and sauntered away to a different table to evaluate a different group of students working. Despite having to worry about everything else, a party may not be so bad, especially during times like this.

* * *

 **1monster2: Thank you very much. And here's a chapter that isn't a cliffhanger, haha. I've been rereading your HP and Narnia stories, hahaha in between typing. -Your big fan**

 **Remus7119: Nah, I like you, haha. Thanks for sticking with this story and I'm really glad you're still holding up this conversation with me. It's nice to talk to people.**

 **Moony123321: Yeah, it's too soon for Lily to fall for James. I've got a plan.**

 **kkla: Your wish is simply my command *bows deeply*. I'm also reading up on your newest story and I'm so excited!**


	18. Music of the Night

**All rights remain.**

Slughorn's party did not seem like a very big deal to those who were attending but it seemed to be the talk of the castle; students were dropping gossip around every corner about who was going with who and who was wearing what and who would be doing what...or who (much to many other's interest or disgust). Remus, who had not been in the halls very often that Friday morning, heard it all.

"I heard Avery is taking Danae Greengrass."

"Well I heard Danae is keeping her eyes on the Yaxley kid."

Remus did not pay much mind to the rumors until he heard his own name, along with his friends' names, in one of the conversations. He instantly slowed up and cast out his enhanced hearing to catch a few words adrift.

"That Lupin's taking Alice Prewett. They've been seeing each other."

"No, Prewett and Longbottom's been snogging in the halls since two years ago."

"Well, I heard Potter's trying to take Evans...no surprise there."

Remus had to agree with a little shrug, now leaning against the wall opposite of the group, pretending to flip through his book and keeping his head lowered.

"Who cares? Who is Sirius taking?"

"Not you."

"Obviously, but whoever the girl is, she's going to get shagged tonight!"

The group broke into laughs and snickers, which made Remus's face burn red. However, as he began to walk away once more, he heard someone else come up and join the conversation with a voice very recognizable.

"That's right, mates. I plan on shagging my guest. Got a problem with that?"

There was a pause of silence in which Remus refused to turn around.

"Don't think you're calling me a slut behind my back. Tell it to my face, I'll be much more appreciative next time," Sirius smirked and flipped the group off, sauntering off with pride in his pace.

Remus tried ducking out of sight from his friend, literally bending his knees and trying to make himself shorter, holding the book to his face to hide it, but nothing got past Sirius. It was not that Remus disliked Sirius, he liked Sirius very much, but when he got into his…"romantic" mood, he was sometimes very…open about his libido.

"Moony," Sirius sang and cornered Remus into the wall behind them.

Remus, pushed up against the wall, tried to look for an exit or anything to put some space between him and Sirius. However, Sirius had his arms up on either side of the werewolf, hands bracing against the wall as a sideways grin flickered on to his features. His gray eyes danced with something impish and his tone sounded…different.

"Back off," Remus said without any venom. "I can't breathe with you so close."

Sirius chuckled and ran a hand through his perfect hair, drumming his fingers against the wall. He did not seem to care who was staring at him and in fact seemed to be encouraged by the number of eyes on him.

"You smell like shite, Padfoot," Remus deadpanned, putting his sleeve over his nose. "What'd you spray? How much cologne did you use?"

"Only a few bottles," Sirius jested though he pulled Remus closer by the tie and slung an arm around the other's shoulders. "Ditch Divination and help me figure out what to wear."

"Why me?" Remus said, almost sounding dismayed. "Why should I care what you wear? Whatever you put on, I'm sure whoever you're taking will appreciate you just fine!"

Sirius watched as Remus shrugged off his hands and threw his own up; the Black heir thought he had somehow gotten Remus angry, but he could see the smile on his friend's face and Sirius felt his happy spirit return.

"I need an expert. Besides, I can help you decide what to wear," Sirius compromised, clapping his hands in prayer. "Please, Moony?"

"Stop looking at me like that and let's go," Remus said, taking Sirius by the shoulder and pushing him into the direction of the Gryffindor Tower.

"They're _so_ flirting," a student said.

"People are such prats."

Sirius and Remus made it to their dormitory without getting caught by any patrolling professors, even though they doubted there would be any. Their dormitory was empty, as expected, since James, Peter, and Frank all had class (the same class to be exact and the same class Remus and Sirius were supposed to be sitting in). With privacy on their side, Remus shut the door, Sirius began stripping off his shirt, and Remus began undoing his tie.

The two friends pulled off their shirts and moved for their trunks, looking for an appropriate shirt to wear for the dinner party. Slughorn had said it would be more formal but not over the top formal. Sirius and Remus were digging around through their clothes until one let out a joyous exclamation, clapping his hands together with excitement.

"Okay, which one?" Sirius asked.

He waved his wand with a soft incantation and levitated the two shirts he had narrowed down to. Both of them looked like their white uniform shirt (the button down dress shirt) except one was black and the other was a dark maroon red. Remus, who always liked his friend in red, pointed to the red dress shirt and gave him the thumbs up.

"The red?" Sirius said then grinned. "Great!"

Remus suppressed rolling his eyes and continued going through his things. Not nearly as rich as Sirius, he did not have as many options to have but he had enough that he was able to narrow his choices down to three shirts.

They were much like Sirius's choices though different colors, which included a navy blue dress shirt, a black dress shirt, and a lighter blue dress shirt. He levitated them for Sirius to take a look at and vote which was his favorite.

"The light blue," Sirius said at once. "It fits you the best and I swear I've got the perfect thing for it. Hang on."

Remus set the dress shirt on his bed and waited as Sirius started going through his own trunk again, hunched over it until he pulled something out. It was a smoothed out light brown sport coat. It looked recently pressed and rather high end on the wizarding fashion.

"Really?" Remus asked in all seriousness.

"Wear it," Sirius urged, tossing him the blazer unceremoniously. "It'll complete the top part of that blue shirt."

"Fair," Remus said and set his outfit on the edge of his bed. "Black slacks work, right? These ones I could wear, yeah?"

Sirius seemed to eye Remus over, deciphering how tall the other was before shaking his head and walking over to Remus's trunk.

"Remember those khakis?" he asked, frowning as his eyes scanned for them. "Find those and you'll look fine."

Remus nodded to Sirius and sat down on the edge of Sirius's bed; he tilted his head up at his friend and looked at him.

"What about you?" he asked curiously. "What are you wearing?"

"Red shirt, black pants, my boots," Sirius replied and nudged his heavy combat boots (unlaced and up to the ankles).

"Tie?" Remus pressed.

"Tie," Sirius said with a roll of his eyes. "I just have to figure out who I'm taking before the fecking thing."

"You haven't asked anyone?" Remus asked in surprise.

"No, I haven't," Sirius said then turned to look at Remus in shock. "Wait, you have?"

Remus shrugged, avoiding the question, and looked to find something else to talk about. But Sirius was not giving up that easily.

"Are you joking, Lupin? Who?" Sirius demanded, eyes glittering with curiosity.

"I never said anything," Remus pointed out fairly, raising both eyebrows at his over eager friend and smiled with a hint of mirth. "Down, boy."

Sirius flipped Remus off on the quip of his canine side and started pacing the dormitory, flipping through all the girls Remus talked to in his mind and wondering if he asked one of them.

"I could always ask Marlene," Sirius said with a thoughtful hum.

"You don't like her," Remus reminded him.

"Yeah, but she fancies me," Sirius pointed out and stopped pacing. "Moony, who'd you ask out? Who do I get to tease?"

Remus just looked preoccupied with his shoelaces. Sirius opened his mouth to say something else but the door to their dormitory burst open, revealing a disheveled James Potter and Peter Pettigrew. Sirius stopped halfway in his step and turned to look at them in amusement.

"What's got your wand in a knot?" Sirius joked.

"Not funny," James scowled, flopping down on the closest bed to the door, which happened to be Remus's. "You ditched Divination without us!"

"Sorry," Remus said genuinely, moving to free his clothes for the dinner from underneath James's long legs. "It was rather impromptu."

"Honestly–wait, what's that?" James asked, sitting up and watching Remus tuck his clothes back in his trunk and close his lid. "Is that for the dinner tonight?"

"Maybe, maybe not," Remus said. "I–"

"Have a date, but won't tell my friends," Sirius interrupted, flashing Remus a toothy grin before turning back to James. "The old prat is taking someone but won't tell me who."

"What?" James gasped half dramatically. "I am agog! I am aghast! Is Moony in love at last?"

"Stop quoting Les Miserables," Remus said with a roll of his eyes. "And I already told Paddy; I'm not saying who."

"Ha!" James suddenly exclaimed, making every head turn.

"What?" Peter wheezed, rubbing his chest. "What?"

"He _does_ call Sirius 'Paddy'," James said like it was some great discovery.

"Anyway," Remus said and nodded to his two friends. "Who are you taking then?"

"Going stag," James replied with a wink.

"I'm thinking about asking Beatrice Popplewell," Sirius replied nonchalantly. "Speaking of her, I'm going to ask her right now."

Remus watched as Sirius got up, dropping everything and leaving. Remus turned to James and Peter each in turn.

"What are you wearing?"

"Taking something from Padfoot," James declared, going to Sirius's trunk and kicking it open, rummaging through until he pulled out a navy blue dress shirt and black blazer.

"I can just wear black pants with this, right?" he asked, fixing his glasses.

"Definitely," Remus replied. "By the way, are you really not taking anyone or does this mean you'll be tailing Lily the entire night?"

James looked to the ground as Peter snickered.

"Prongs, don't ruin this night for her; it's not often she gets stuff like this," Remus said with a little shake of his head. "Keep the 'love' to a comfortable level and don't set her off."

 **.oOo.**

Sirius had travelled around the corridors in search of Beatrice, a Ravenclaw gem. She was a lovely Hispanic, turning heads wherever she went. Intelligent, feisty, yet appropriately kind, Beatrice was just about the perfect girl anyone would love to date. Sirius considered himself lucky when he heard Beatrice had not yet been asked, which had surprised him greatly, but he moved with haste for just that reason.

Outside of the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom, Sirius spotted the girl he was looking for and rushed over to her while keeping cool and casual. Beatrice stopped in surprise though a small smile played on her angelic features, tilting her head curiously.

"Care to go with me to Slughorn's party?" Sirius asked, looking at her and trying not to get distracted in those dark brown eyes.

"Ah, yes," Beatrice said, smiling. Another thing Sirius loved about Beatrice was her voice. It was not high pitched or very feminine sounding but very rough, lower pitched, and scratchy but beautifully so.

"Great," Sirius replied, beaming. "Why don't I meet you at the Gryffindor Tower at 5:30?"

"You best be punctual, Black," Beatrice said teasingly, poking him playfully in the chest. "And this is…you know…platonic or no strings attached kind of date?"

"Absolutely," Sirius replied.

* * *

The four boys stared at themselves in the reflection of the mirror in the dormitory, biting their lips and examining themselves from every possible angle; each were feeling self-conscious and even nervous. Peter, Sirius, and Remus were evidently taking dates while James kept himself available in case he went to mingle with Lily.

Peter was taking Victoria Stonemur, a different Ravenclaw and a fifth year. Sirius was taking Beatrice Popplewell, a sixth year Ravenclaw. Yet no one knew who Remus was taking and he was not cracking, refusing to tell until they all met up.

"How do I look?" James asked, spinning around playfully.

"Fix the tie and you'll be fine," Remus said, backing away from the mirror and moving towards the door, getting ready to leave. "Don't be late. Lily likes punctual blokes."

"Does she?" James said, flashing him a grin.

"Yes," Remus said with the same hasty grin.

Eventually, James and Peter were able to pull Sirius away from the mirror, wishing Frank a quiet evening in. Frank waved goodbye as he went to spend the night with Alice, his girlfriend, and The Marauders went down to the Common Room. They were moving towards the portrait hole but Remus had to slow down.

"Who are you really taking?" James asked, turning around and folding his arms over his chest.

"You'll see but I have to wait for her here," Remus said, turning red and shy. "Stop looking at me like that, honestly. You act like this is such a big deal. It's more of a…platonic thing."

Sirius rolled his eyes but his gaze caught a figure at the top of the stairs. With his eyes widening, he realized who was walking down the stairs, heading straight for his lanky werewolf friend.

Remus's blue gaze turned to his date as he smiled warmly, holding out a hand modestly and encouraging her over. Once the girl took his hand, Remus entwined their fingers and pulled her closer, placing an arm around her waist.

In Remus's arms stood Emmeline Vance.

She wore a creamy white dress, which went down to her knees, with the same colored flats for shoes. She had pearl earrings and wore minimal makeup, which included a thin line of eyeliner on the bottom of her eyes.

Remus considered him fortunate to have her tonight.

"Oi, so you are friends with Evans," James commented, the first one to say anything.

"Yeah," Emmeline replied, confused at the random statement.

"Prongs–James," Remus corrected, rolling his eyes. "Can we not interrogate her about your love crush on Lily?"

"Everyone knows you're going to try to ask her out tonight, James," Emmeline replied with a soft smile. "If you know how to act proper, she might just agree."

"You're joking," James exclaimed, earning a playful shove from Sirius. "Because if you are, then tell me everything you know."

"Not now or here," Remus said and turned to her. "Are you ready to go, yeah? Do you want to leave now or wait a bit?"

"Now's fine, Remus," Emmeline said reassuringly, standing on her toes for a few moments to peck his jaw.

The five of them headed out of the Common Room, where the Fat Lady graciously complimented them on their nice appearance.

Just as soon as they were entering the corridors, Sirius saw Beatrice while Peter went over to greet Victoria.

Beatrice had her brown hair twisted up and pulled back. She wore a tighter black dress and a light layer of black eyeshadow with a perfect touch of makeup. Sirius looked over his shoulder, threw his friends a grin, and walked over to his date to greet her properly.

Peter took Victoria's hand and admired her with a few soft compliments. She was a beautiful Asian, who had her waterfall of black hair cascading past her shoulders and falling neatly to the middle of her back. She wore a silver dress and dangling diamond earrings. Victoria had Remus staring for a few moments longer than he would have liked to admit.

The seven of them then moved from the corridors down to the ground level, where they moved towards the courtyard. The dinner was held outside, which happened to be serving very delicious food. The seven sat together at the beginning, talking about everything and nothing. James was even enjoying the evening without a single comment about Lily.

However, that did not last long.

Lily Evans showed up in a light green dress, hair tied up in a messy but elegant bun, and strands of hair falling out. She looked simply gorgeous and James's head was not the only head to turn. Lily did not seem to notice or acknowledge the attention but she kept moving forward until she sat down with a plate of food by a group of Hufflepuffs.

"Blimey, she came alone!" James breathed.

"She didn't want to go with anyone," Emmeline said, being friends with Lily made her a reliable source of information. "She wanted to go alone tonight. Less complications."

"Merlin, thanks," Remus teased.

"I never said that's what I went with," Emmeline said with a dazzling smile, pecking his cheek affectionately.

Dinner went by uneventfully, but it was never dinner that had any action. Professor Slughorn had time to talk to most of the students at his party in the courtyard. Once The Marauders had survived ten minutes of Slughorn interrogating them about their lives, they began to drift apart, each going to do their own thing.

And that was when the night really began….

Remus and Emmeline sat on the bench on the edge of the party, simply talking about their friends and their more personal lives. It was a nice exchange of words though sometimes it got heated, especially when it came to Remus and Lily and their supposed friendship.

"You know, I always thought you and Lily were seeing each other," Emmeline commented thoughtfully, looking at her hands folded in her lap. "I was just…it kind of seems like that the way you two act."

"Excuse me, I'm wouldn't date her," Remus said, trying to reassure her. "I know it's what loads of people are saying right now but it's not true and it hasn't been."

"So you haven't snogged her?"

"I don't really see how that's relevant, Emmeline. I took you tonight so I could spend time with you…tonight," Remus said and tried putting a hand on hers. "Why won't you just let that happen?"

"It's obvious, Remus," Emmeline said a bit defensively. "You fancy Lily and don't try to deny it because it's obvious."

"Isn't it obvious Lily and I are best friends?" Remus said, trying to make sense of his date's accusations. "If Lily and I were seeing each other, I would have asked her, not you."

"Why did you ask me?" Emmeline asked, more curious than accusing.

"You're unique in all the right ways, Emmeline," Remus said. "Honest."

Emmeline and Remus, for the remainder of the night, had gone back and forth with this conversation. Remus understood Emmeline was insecure but he wanted to make his intentions clear and Emmeline wanted Remus to do so, too.

Meanwhile, Sirius was chatting up Beatrice but rather instead of talking, he was snogging her in the corner where Slughorn wasn't wandering around. Sirius was leaning against the wall with his feet apart, allowing room for Beatrice to lean against him in between his legs, hand on his chest, and lips capturing his in a passionate kiss.

"Wow…" Sirius breathed.

"Eyes on me," Beatrice said fondly, smiling brightly as she brushed noses with the Black heir. "I'm surprised, you know."

"About?" Sirius asked, placing his arms around her waist and folding his hands against the middle of her back.

"You asking me," Beatrice said and sighed. "Honestly, I was going to say no."

Sirius frowned at this and drew his eyebrows together in confusion, curiosity, and questioning all at once.

"But then I realized you weren't mocking me. You were being genuine," she replied.

"I'm genuine," Sirius said a bit defensively.

"Sirius," Beatrice said gently, raising a hand to rest on his cheek. "You sleep around. It makes any of your dates feel doubtful."

"I didn't…know people gave such a shite about it," Sirius said earnestly, looking away and turning the tiniest bit red from embarrassment. "No one's really cared."

"I don't," Beatrice said reassuringly but she looked serious once more. "But some do and if you find someone you really fancy, Sirius, you best be careful and tread with thought."

"I…yeah," Sirius said. "Beatrice, I hope–"

"Call me Bea," she said quickly.

"Right, well, we're just casual but I know what you mean," Sirius replied and rubbed his forehead, biting the inside of his cheek. "Are we calling it a night?"

"Unless you have something else in mind," Beatrice said, standing on her toes to kiss and nip his neck.

Whether James was having more luck with girls than Remus and Sirius or not, no one was having better luck than Peter. He and Victoria had left early.

James, however, seemed like the only one who did not have after party ideas or plans. His eyes were solely trained on his shoes and his mind racing to think of something genuine and sincere to say to Lily without sounding like his usual arrogant prat self.

Collecting himself, he headed over to her.

"Evans," he said.

"Hm?"

"I like your dress," he commented lamely, wanting to kick himself for saying such an unoriginal compliment.

"Thanks," Lily said and ran a hand awkwardly through her hair. "Nice food."

"Yeah," James said, equally as awkward. "We should…I mean, this was nice for Slughorn to put this together. It lets everyone from different houses get to know each other."

"True," Lily said thoughtfully and drummed her fingers against her cup. "It's kind of nice to see people out of school uniform and out of school setting, you know?"

James nodded and looked around some more, more than elated to see no signs of Snape. He had, after all, not been invited contrary to what rumors have been spreading.

"Yeah, Potter, he's not here," Lily deadpanned, voice growing hard once more. "So stop trying to look around and find him in these crowds."

"I wasn't…I mean…"

"Merlin, Potter," Lily said with a deep set frown. "You know, some things never change. Same goes for people."

With that, she walked away, leaving James disappointed at the such brief conversation. He had not gotten to say one thing on his mind but she never would have given her a chance either so he felt sunk both ways.

 **.oOo.**

Warm light, star flecked night, and absolutely no fright, it was a perfect, mild, October night. Two figures were entwined, locked in an embrace. The soft caresses, the gentle touches, and the whispers of sweet nothings, it was a perfect, mild, October night. Their hands roamed, their lips peppered honey kisses, and their breath ghosted skin, it was a perfect, mild, October night.

The two lovers had cast a noise shield around the room and had sealed the door to the empty dormitory for maximum privacy. Hands tangled in hair, fingers traced soft skin, gasps and moans escaped their lips, it was all so heated and passionate, it was hard not to find the chemistry between the two lovers.

Gasps, moans, and groans of pleasure came from the other side of the door. Remus let out a ragged breath as he trailed his lips, peppering kisses down the girl's jaw, neck, and clavicles. His mind told him to gain some kind of control, knowing he was going to feel like shite in the morning and hating himself. They have been going hard the entire night, arguing and getting fed up with each other. His mind was screaming no but his body was screaming yes despite the knowing the satisfaction would override the guilt.

Yet…here they were, in bed together, and undressing each other. Remus broke the kiss to pull down the zipper of her dress, trailing his fingers along the newly exposed skin.

Remus let out a moan as his eyes fluttered shut, his lips locking with hers. It was heated, it was passionate, it was perfect. They moved in rhythm, finding each other within themselves, finding the fleeting bond they, feeling the ephemeral burst of protection, affection, and connection as they gyrated together.

Remus's hand came up on the headboard of his bed, bracing himself on the piece of wood. His grip on his headboard tightened so much his knuckles turned white. His vision turned blurry and his mind swam with all the pleasure and nothing else; the lust had effectively wiped his mind of everything and the connection and "telepathy" he shared with her was undeniable.

"Remus!"

Remus kissed her gently as soon as he used an incantation to make the bed once more into something they could lay in. He had buckled his belt but left his torso bare, climbing back in his bed with Emmeline in his arms.

They had argued a lot of the night and had ended up taking the argument back up to the dormitory where Emmeline had silenced him with a passionate kiss, a hungry kiss, and a lustful kiss. Remus responded with equal fervor, biologically responding like anyone else would in his same state of mind and desire.

This was not initially his intentions for tonight but he was not complaining for now his mind raced. He was thankful for the darkness so she could not see his hundreds of scars and was careful to keep the lights dimmed so low, she would be unable to notice the marks against the dark shadows cast about the room.

"Remus, I didn't mean…to be like that," Emmeline whispered, laying her head on his smooth chest. "I'm sorry if I came across like that."

Remus trailed his finger up and down her arm, caressing the soft skin beneath his digits.

"Don't–"

But before he could finish his sentence, the door to the dormitory banged open. Both jumped and pulled the covers up as a figure came trekking into the dormitory. They had unlocked the door when they had to go out for a brief moment though Remus may have forgotten to lock it again.

"Merlin!" James exclaimed, walking in one the two. "Merlin!"

He ran a hand through his messy hair and was stuck between grinning like an idiot and flushing with embarrassment for walking in on such a scene.

"Feck, get out," Remus moaned, covering his face with his hands before climbing out of his bed and walking over to James.

"Did you two even…?" James asked, trailing off with that same mischievous grin.

"Yes," Emmeline said, sitting up and letting the covers fall, pointing to her attire on the floor and gesturing to herself. "Is that enough proof for you?"

"I'm sorry," James said earnestly, pulling away with a shake of his head and a laugh. "Don't let me interrupt."

Remus rolled his eyes and turned to Emmeline, who was getting up and already slipping her dress back on.

"Thanks, Remus," she said.

With that, and the last words she spoke to him that night, Emmeline had departed for her own dormitory, which was right across the Common Room from his. However, this left Remus alone and vulnerable for James's teasing.

The bespectacled boy came in and instantly started firing question after question at Remus, demanding to know all the–

"You don't need the dirty details!" Remus said exasperatedly, throwing his hands up. "Go away, Prongs!"

"I can't believe this! Is your first time?" James asked with both eyebrows raised.

Remus merely held up two fingers and James howled with laughter, clapping Remus on the back and grinning madly.

"You almost passed Wormy," he said.

"He's done it four times, five maybe after tonight," Remus said. "And Padfoot has done about half the school if not all."

James laughed again and stretched out on his bed.

"But what about you, Prongs?" Remus asked, looking a bit soberer once more.

"I'm waiting," James said simply. "I want Evans to be the first."

Remus chose not to comment but for some reason, he was never going to argue James in the first place on that comment. The sincerity in his voice made it hard to believe Lily hated James.

James and Remus tried waiting up for Sirius and Peter though they did not turn up and the two fell asleep anyway.

Each to their own thoughts.

* * *

 **KaiaRein: Hahah, I know right! Same though I'm a pretty bad runner, too. I'm a bad endurance racer.**

 **Remus7119: Definitely, it's just good to talk to a variety of people. It opens perspectives, yeah?**

 **Moony123321: I hope you found this chapter not much of a waste. I dunno if I quite like it yet.**

 **kkla: I'm sorry this Jily moment was not really a good Jily moment. Hasty and awkward but I don't want to advance them too quickly. They've got to ease into their budding friendship/relationship.**


	19. Trigger Me, I Pray

**All rights remain.**

 **Warning! Read with Caution: self-harm of Sirius Black.**

"He is sealed, Orion. Our boy will be safe," Walburga murmured, her head bent low.

Walburga and her husband, Orion, sat at their kitchen table at their Black manor; they were talking about something rather serious and somber though there was definitely a hint of excitement in their tones as they spoke about their youngest heir.

"When will he leave?" Orion asked, folding his hands and setting them on the table. "Walburga, we need to ensure his safety. He is so young."

"He is not that young, Orion, do stop being so theatrical," Walburga chided. "I can ensure protection for Regulus if he keeps his head low and remains respectful. He is fifteen, Orion. He is..."

* * *

"Dropping!" Sirius shouted, unable to hold in the exclamation of shock and surprise. "You must be joking, Regulus!"

"Shut it, Sirius," Regulus said, pressing a hand flat and over Sirius's mouth quite literally.

The two brothers, who claimed they were not brothers yet still grew protective over one another, stood in the empty dead end corridor. Not many came this way due to the fact it was a dead end, which made it the ideal place for the two to meet in secret and privacy.

"I don't believe you," Sirius said, ripping Regulus's hand away and glaring daggers at his brother. "You're going to get yourself killed!"

"Then so be it, Sirius, but I'm sealed," Regulus said, playing with his sleeve awkwardly. "Besides, who did you hear this from anyway?"

"Doesn't matter, I don't believe you," Sirius insisted stubbornly, not knowing why he was being so persistent. "Reg, I just—you aren't that—"

"Proof?" Regulus interjected, a bite to his tone. "You want proof?"

Sirius opened his mouth to reply but the movement Regulus made with his left arm made his voice die in his throat. His eyes cast downward as he stared at the dark and vivid black ink on his arm; a skull and a snake coming out of the mouth. Sirius knew that symbol and to him it only meant death. Trying hard not to let out any kind of strangled sound, Sirius could only stare in horror, at his own brother's arm, the contaminated Dark Mark.

His mark.

"Proof enough?" Regulus snarled, yanking his sleeve back in place and concealing it well. "Is that proof enough for you, Sirius?"

"I can't believe you're ditching," Sirius breathed, shaking his head.

He wanted to believe this was all a horribly vivid hallucination or dream, a source from his imagination. However, this was simply something he feared his younger brother would end up doing. Sirius could not predict the future, he was in no position to do so or even try, but he was more than capable of predicting his brother and the influence his parents had on Regulus.

"I should have been there for you," Sirius rasped, looking down as his eyebrows drew together.

"Deflate your ego, Sirius," Regulus snarled, curling his lip back. "It's not all about you."

Sirius looked up in surprise but Regulus was already beginning to walk away, sliding past his former brother and not even sparing one last glance over his shoulder. He simply ditched Sirius, forgetting him, leaving him behind, abandoning him in the dirt.

Regulus was merely doing exactly what Sirius had done for all those years.

Regulus missed his elder brother deeply; a part of him even wanted to rekindle what had been so unfairly taken from him. He wanted the brotherhood, the bond to tighten once more. He wanted to see a future and with his brother as a part of it; but now all he could see was the looming shadows from his new master. And his new master was Lord Voldemort. He had pledged his loyalty to him.

"I'm sorry," Regulus said though he knew Sirius would not be able to hear the apology from where he was. Sirius would never hear the apology Regulus kept sending out. He would never know.

Sirius was destroyed that day and he went the rest of it without talking to any of his friends, avoiding them, and avoiding the rest of the world with them. Sirius shut himself off in an empty classroom where he knew his friends nor any professor would think to look. Tears threatened to fall though he forced them back, refusing to let any go, refusing to let his emotions get the best of him.

He was, after all, a Black; he never listened to emotions or so he was taught.

* * *

"You noticed Sirius, right?" Remus asked as they walked out of the Great Hall.

The three of them had just eaten dinner and Sirius had not shown up for said event, which was odd for he always loved dinner. James, who had his mind on something else, shrugged and looked at Remus.

"Wait, what?"

"You noticed Sirius's weird behavior, right?" Remus said, forcing his voice to sound polite. "Like...well, today he was hardly even here. He ditched in the morning and still isn't back."

James nodded in understanding now then he shrugged his shoulders without an answer; Remus, who felt like he was chasing his friends in every which direction, sighed with a little less patience and glared at him ever so slightly.

"Prongs," Remus said, quickening his pace and stepping in front of James's path. He put a hand out on the other's chest to get him to stop walking for a moment. "Where are you now?"

"Here," James said, not understanding the question.

"I mean, where is your head? You aren't with me either," Remus said and turned to Peter, looking for some sort of backup or support. "You're so distracted and you're really distracted lately."

"Sorry," James retaliated.

Remus sighed, deflated, and moved aside to let James through. He watched his friend walk off and without another word, headed off in the opposite direction. Unsure of what to do, Peter went his own way, too.

Little did they know, Sirius was a corridor behind them. If only they had slowed down enough to wait for him to walk up but the three had split in different directions and Sirius had the hallway to himself.

His footsteps were the only sound beside the hushed murmurs from the paintings. Sirius paid them no mind as he trekked forward, keeping his gaze ahead and his mind set and locked on getting somewhere far away as possible from people.

It was not until he smacked into someone, quite literally, that he stopped and looked where he was. Lily Evans, who had turned the corner he was, rubbed her side where Sirius's elbow had dug deeply into.

"Blimey, Black," she huffed. "Are you all right?"

Sirius certainly did not look all right; his eyes red and his face stained with tears. His clothes were unruly and unkempt, tie askew, shirt not tucked.

"Sorry," he said hastily.

Sirius made to slip past Lily, but she rolled her eyes, let out a breath of patience, and grabbed Sirius at the crook of his elbow, pulling him back and closer to her. Lily positioned him so he was facing her as well.

"What's wrong?" she prompted gently.

"Nothing," Sirius tried, pulling his arm free and trying to break free. "I'm just tired and going to bed. What are _you_ doing?"

"If you don't want to tell me, that is fine, Black. But telling yourself you are okay is not okay. You are lying to yourself and that could end up being a very bad thing," Lily insisted stubbornly.

Sirius deflated, looking at his shoes instead of at Lily, who did not seem to take no for an answer. She, however, did soften her gaze and release her vice-like grip, dropping her hand to her side and looking at him with utmost look of deep questioning.

Sirius was never particularly comfortable expelling his feelings for everyone to know, but since he had started opening up to the one person he would never guessed, he felt a little more comfortable around her.

"My brother," Sirius murmured softly. "It's my fault."

Lily watched as Sirius slowly pulled his arm out of her grasp and headed off in a different direction; she had never seen Sirius quite like this and it surprised her to say the least to see Sirius so guilty looking. She had never expected Sirius to talk about his brother in a remorseful way. But before she could say anything else, Sirius was out of her sight and evidently no mood to talk.

"Black, wait," Lily said, chasing after him. "Black!"

As soon as she rounded the corner, she expected to see his figure or something of his shadow but the corridor remained empty. It was as if he had just disappeared. Lily looked a bit taken aback as she scoured the halls, looking for the troubled, but she found no sign of him. She rubbed her forehead wearily and turned in a different direction, fixing the book bag strap on her shoulder.

As she was going to turn the corner, she began to think of what she always overheard Remus and his friends talk about in hushed tones. Secret passageways.

"Wait," Lily murmured to herself and ran a hand along the wall where there were no pictures hanging.

Her fingers dipped in a small crevice in the wall. She let her nails dig into it as she pulled the hidden door open. Heavier than expected, she struggled at first to pull it but she managed to open it just far enough to climb through.

She was looking down a long tunnel, filled with darkness, and dangerously uneven flooring. The stone on the ground gave way to huge dips, curves, and jumps; it was enough to unsettle anyone and discourage anyone from heading any further. However, Lily pressed forward, silently congratulating herself for remembering which passageway was in this hallway.

The tunnel was only lit by the small hanging candles with flames preserved by magic. Lily pulled back her hair and quickened her pace, heading down a flight of stairs, assuming she was going down a level. Without much warning, the stairs began to tilt and curve, almost making her walk into a wall. She sighed and put her hands out to ensure her safety of not smashing into walls.

"Black, if you're in here, please tell me," Lily said, her voice quivering ever so slightly.

There was no answer so she assumed Sirius was too far ahead.

Just as spontaneously as everything else happening in this tunnel, it ended, leading off to a little brass door. The iron handle seemed half broken off so Lily took out her wand and pointed it at the door.

" _Lumos._ "

Additional light spread throughout the exit, allowing her to see what was in front of her. Unsure of where it lead, Lily used her elbows to unlock the door and push it open, sticking her wand out first then peeking through the crack with one eye, scanning where she ended up...

Which happened to be the boys' lavatory.

She smacked a hand over her eyes and was about to turn back when she misplaced her foot. The crumbling ledge gave away underneath the weight and brought down a shower of rocks and other debris, including Lily. Her wand flung out of her hand, flying in the air in an arc, before landing with a light thud and rolling underneath the sinks on the other side of the bathroom.

Groaning, Lily picked herself up, brushing the dust off her pants and slowly moving over to retrieve her wand. She could already feel where the bruises were forming and just as she bent down to get her wand, she let out a gasp of shock and horror.

"SIRIUS!"

Lily screeched and rushed over to the Black heir, seizing his wrists and enclosing them in her hands, despite the size difference. She practically sat in Sirius's lap as she forced him to drop the cigarette, putting it out with a stamp of her foot. She let go of his arms and cradled his face with her hands on either side of his jaw, forcing him to look up at her in the eye.

"What are you doing?" she shrieked shrilly, throwing off her sweatshirt.

Sirius looked up at her blearily and cursed as he saw who had come over. He tried pulling away but Lily held fast, tying the arms of her sweatshirt around his wrist and pressing her other hand against his forehead.

"What did you do?" she demanded, tears coming to her eyes.

"Nothing," Sirius mumbled, head dropping off as though it was too much effort to hold it up.

Lily panicked but she held it in, forcing herself to examine the situation she had herself in. Sirius was leaning against the bathroom wall, sitting and slumped. He had a cigarette, which he was using to burn the insides of his wrists, and perhaps something else to make him unable to comprehend his surroundings. She inhaled sharply and ran a hand through her hair.

She could only think of one thing to do.

 **.oOo.**

"Do you ever wonder how many people are thinking about you right now?" James asked, throwing down his cards.

Remus covered his eyes as James did that, winning another game of Exploding Snaps. Peter, who was half asleep by now, shot straight up at the noise (which was surprising since he was always such a deep sleeper).

"Not really," Remus replied earnestly. "Who cares?"

"I do," James snorted, pretending to flip his hair over his shoulder. "Only one of me and so many of them."

Peter groaned and went back to sleep.

"You really _do_ have an ego," Remus said in disbelief, smiling just a little. "Why don't you finish up, here?"

"I did, you won!" James huffed, crossing his arms over his chest. "Frank agrees with me though. Don't you, Frank?"

This was one of those nights Frank decided to join in the fun with the four boys. The five of them always got along but Frank always came to bed so early and put a noise shield around his bed so he wouldn't hear the voices of his dorm mates. But now he was up and having fun with Remus and James playing cards while Peter slept on soundly and silently.

"Sure, James," Frank said and leaned back on his hands. "So, where is Sirius anyway? I haven't seen him all day."

"Trust me, Frank," Remus snorted. "We haven't seen him either ever—"

The door to the boys' dormitory opened and revealed a dishevelled Lily Evans, hair wild and her eyes pricked with tears and red from seemingly crying. She looked out of breath and rather unruly compared to her usual impeccable appearance.

"Evans?" James squawked.

"Lily?" Remus and Frank said together.

"Potter!" Lily exclaimed, pointing a finger at him. "I found your—I found Black."

James sat up straight, eyebrows drawn in confusion.

"What?"

"He's in the bathroom and I think he was trying to hurt himself or something!" Lily panted, pushing her hair out of her face and looking at James imploringly. "I need your help, Potter. I think Black needs you."

James was already up when he heard Sirius was apparently harming himself. He and Remus both shot to their feet and walked over to Lily, their eyes now full of concern, too. Frank hung back though he looked worried.

"Long story—just—"

Lily did not finish; she merely hustled out of the dormitory, down the spiraling stairs, out the Common Room, where the Fat Lady barked angrily at her for disturbing her amazing dream. Lily would have apologize, having been raised with proper manners, but she was too flustered.

As she sprinted down the halls, James and Remus fought to keep up with the speedy girl.

"Evans—where are you going?" he asked a little breathlessly.

"To the bathroom behind that stupid portrait!" Lily panted, veering off sharply to the right. "He was in there!"

"Pr—James, behind the portrait of the mango tree," Remus said helpfully. "That one."

James nodded in understanding as the three of them made their way through the winding halls. Lily went around one last corner, close to a dead end, and let James and Remus move the heavy weight portrait. It took the combined effort of them both but the two boys were able to free the little entrance for them to use.

"Go," James said, yanking the door open.

Remus climbed in first and started sprinting down the passageway, followed by Lily, then lastly came James. The three of them nearly tripped on each other's feet in the darkness, the lights having been dimmed quite significantly. Remus stopped abruptly when the passageway ended abruptly, leaving him to strain and push the door open with his shoulder. With his enhanced hearing, he could hear _drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip_.

"Sirius!" Remus bellowed.

Lily tried opening the door, which seemed to be jammed, but it was James who came forth, looking very authoritative.

"Move," he asked before sliding past Lily.

With a driving force of the heel of his boot and in addition to Remus's boot, the two broke the door open and they clambered into the bathroom.

"Shite..."

Sirius sat slumped over with his wrist slashed open vertically. A large gash ripped from the start of his vein to the middle of the inside of his forearm. The other three rushed over to the other. Remus pressed his hand against the blood flow and pressed another two fingers against the branchial artery.

"James—clean up," Remus said.

James pulled out his wand.

" _Scourgify_."

The floor cleaned itself of the blood and the wound began to clean itself. The blood seeping out ceased as Lily murmured her own incantation, forcing the bleeding to stop.

" _Ferula_ ," she said and bandages sprung out from her wand and wrapped around his wrists. "I didn't find him like this. He did it when I left."

"No, no, something isn't right," Remus said softly, trying to figure it out. "It's not like Sirius to get this hung up over something."

"Even if it was his brother joining the Death Eaters?" Lily inquired softly, her eyes trailing up Remus's bloodied hand, bloodied arm, to his paled face.

"Ah, no, Sirius was guilty as he but something over that...?" Remus shook his head. "It couldn't be..."

"Even if his brother was ditching school to join them?" Lily pressed, eyes searching Remus.

"I suppose that makes a difference but still...no, it was like someone...talked him into doing this," Remus said with a deep frown. "It was like someone was egging him on."

"Oi," James said to catch their attention. "Look..."

Remus and Lily craned their necks to see what James was pointing at. When Remus's eyes landed on that, he froze up and his blood turned sickly cold. All the color drained from his face.

On the ground, in the midst of it all, happened to be a Slytherin crest...of a snake...from someone's Hogwarts robes.

Someone was here.

James, Lily, and Remus all looked down at the green snake crest, silent and pondering. The lack of noise seemed crushing and suffocating. But what James said next was way worse than the silence...

"This might mean a whole new thing."

* * *

 **KaiaRein: Haha, long distance just isn't my forte either. Apparation was invented for a reason, hahaha. Anyway, I hope you found this one worthwhile.**

 **Remus7119: Meeting new people is the best. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Anyway, who is your favorite character?**

 **Moony123321: Thank you. And my inspiration? I don't have one really. I'm not like those authors who gush about their personal lives and inspirational experiences. I just...kind of write. I'm not theatrical or dramatic like a load are, haha.**


	20. The Heart of Fear

**All rights remain.**

Regulus paced the Slytherin Common Room, worrying his lip and most likely wearing down a hole in the green and silver carpet. Beside him sat Avery, Mulciber, and Snape. The four of them sat in silence for a while, saying nothing and watching one another instead. Regulus, however, seemed to be the most worried, his eyes darting about the room as if he was expecting a surprise attack.

"Calm down, Reg," Avery said, looking at his hands. "You act like this is a big deal."

Regulus pretended to not hear his friend, continuing his pacing and clenching his fists. Avery's eyes followed Regulus's movement like an eagle's eyes locked to its prey. However, no one dared to say anything yet.

"You know what this means," Mulciber said, his voice low and gruff.

Mulciber was quite a looker, desired by many Slytherin girls. But his heart had no room for love, only his deepest desire, which was his fixation with the Dark Arts, much like Severus Snape. Mulciber ran a hand through his hair and sat back against the couch, looking at his friends with a sense of ease despite everything that was happening.

"Everyone knows what it means, Mulciber," Snape drawled lazily, folding his arms over his chest. "It's what we do in the meantime that matters."

Mulciber curled his lip back at the attitude and tone Snape used whilst addressing him. Not used to receiving a sharp tongue or snappy attitude, he was offended and acted on the defense.

"Oi, graying underpants, sod off," he snarled. "Why don't you do us a favor and wave that magic little wand of yours and see if you can get your deranged cousin to see what she can tell us."

"Hey, idiot," Regulus snapped, coming to Snape's defense. "That deranged cousin is Bellatrix and she's _my_ deranged cousin. Stop picking on Snape, you can't even do it properly. Besides, Bellatrix won't tell me anything, I already tried writing to her."

"What'd you say?" Avery interjected, ignoring Mulciber's offended look. "When did you write to her?"

"I asked her what Lestrange was going to do now that Greyback was underground and recruiting," Regulus said, his fingers going to brush against his left forearm.

"Why does it matter?" Avery asked but more demanded.

At that question, Snape and Regulus exchanged very subtle looks, so subtle the other two did not catch on. Instead, Regulus shook his head and excused himself, heading out into the dungeons where the Slytherin Common Room was near.

"Oi, Snape," Mulciber said, unfazed by Regulus's departure. "There's this wicked potion I found in the Restricted Section in the library."

Despite his concern for Regulus, Snape tried to remain casual, looking interested and mildly surprised in what Mulciber had to say. His eyebrows drew together and a small questioning frown appeared on his lips.

"What does it do?"

"Gives people extreme nightmares," Mulciber said excitedly. "Whatever happens in the nightmares happens to you when you wake."

"Meaning you could easily die in your sleep," Snape finished with a genuine sense of curiosity. "You must be joking, where and how did you find something like that? Hogwarts actually holds that kind of information?"

"Yeah," Mulciber snorted and started rummaging through his book bag. "Oi, did you know this rubbish excuse of a school has information about..."

Snape tilted his head, frowning lightly.

"Sorry?"

Mulciber repeated what he said.

"What's...what's a horcrux?"

* * *

Remus sat on the edge of Sirius's bed, looking at his hands, which were folded in his lap. He had been sitting in the Hospital Wing for a solid hour, waiting for Sirius to wake from his slumber. Madam Pomfrey had given him a dreamless sleep potion, which would ensure his ability to rest peacefully. Remus, however, was growing anxious, concerned Sirius was sleeping for this long.

"Let him rest, Lupin," Madam Pomfrey kept saying.

Remus groaned and sat back, dropping his hand, which was getting ready to poke his friend awake. Sirius looked peaceful, finally getting a real night's sleep, rest he desperately needed. Remus took the time to study Sirius's bandaged wrists. Something was odd but he could not put his finger on it. Never would he have guessed Sirius to be so depressed he would turn to self harm.

"You're staring..."

Remus jumped, embarrassed at being caught staring at his friend. Remus ran a hand through his sandy blonde hair, rubbing his eyes with his other hand wearily. Sirius kept his gaze on the sixth year werewolf, waiting for him to say something.

"Do you need anything?" Remus asked, looking around for a glass of water, which was formerly sitting on Sirius's nightstand beside the bed. "Water? Food? Blanket? Anything you can think of?"

"Not really," Sirius said earnestly, sitting up on his elbows. "Why are you so eager to help?"

"I've been here since this morning, Padfoot," Remus pointed out albeit did so mildly. "I have questions but I want to make sure you are okay first."

Sirius pulled a face and squirmed a bit on the bed, pulling the covers up a little more; he averted his gaze away and rubbed his arm, feeling the sting on both his wrists, which were bandaged heavily after being magically healed.

"What are the questions?" the Black heir inquired after a few agonizing seconds of silence.

"I wanted to know what you remembered," Remus said and rubbed his neck awkwardly. "What happened is a bit of a blur to the rest of us."

Sirius sighed, not really wanting to kick off the day being forced to remind himself about what had happened in that lavatory. With reluctance, Sirius began to expel the story in great detail, careful not to leave anything out and remaining patient whenever Remus interrupted by accident with a question.

"Well..."

 _Sirius went to the lavatory to wash up and cool down after his run in with his younger brother. Regulus had left him steaming and all he wanted to do was splash some cold water on his face._

 _As he was bending down over the sink, running his hands under the water, he swore he heard something like a stall door slamming shut. Sirius held in a gasp and looked around, eyes alert and ears pricked._

 _When there was no sign of movement besides the ones he was making. His eyes traveled to the door where it looked untouched, so Sirius shrugged the odd event off a shoulder and continued washing his face. However, his silent peace came to an end as most good things do._

 _"Sirius..."_

 _Sirius snapped his head up, spinning around on his heel. With the water still running, Sirius tried catching the other who was evidently in the bathroom, playing tricks on him and making him look rather like a fool._

"Wait," Remus interrupted. "Was there someone really there?"

"Now hang on," Sirius said. "So..."

 _Sirius yanked out his wand and illuminated the tip, casting a soft glow around the room, peering into the darkness to see if he could make anything out. Upon his first instinct, he would have wanted to transform into a dog, but he was at Hogwarts and his Animagus was meant to be a secret._

 _"Oi," he called out. "Sod off."_

 _He meant for the command to have a little bite but all it sounded like was uncertainty. The Black heir ran a hand through his hair and turned off the water, still looking around as if expecting someone to show up._

 _However, he was alone._

 _Sirius grumbled lightly at his own paranoia and went back to washing his hands, even though he accomplished said task in the past five minutes. He had the water running on warm this time when he heard someone call him out once more._

 _"Pssst..."_

 _Sirius cursed this time and loudly, whipping around and getting frustrated and even slightly unnerved. Someone must have been messing with him but he was getting edgy with nervousness._

 _"What?" Sirius called back, speaking louder than he needed to._

 _"Look over here," the voice murmured softly._

 _Sirius snorted without meaning to._ Where was he supposed to look when there was no one to be seen? _Sirius turned a bit, searching over his shoulder, but still realizing he was utterly alone._

 _"Over here," the voice said and tapped on something solid._

 _Sirius jumped a little at the noise, not because of the tapping, but because it was so close to his left ear. Sirius whipped his head around in that direction and found himself staring at his own reflection. This was getting ridiculous so he was starting to not care._

 _"Sirius..."_

 _"What?" Sirius snapped, feeling fed up and annoyed. "What do you want? Where even are you?"_

 _And then it caught his eye. Sirius saw movement, a figure rather tall and lanky, a splash of two gray eyes, and shoulder length black hair, fixed perfectly without putting a minute of effort into it. Sirius was staring at his own reflection._

"Your reflection?" Remus echoed in absolute disbelief, with even a hint of horror. "What d'you mean, your reflection? I reckon that means...there was some sort of...magic involved or something?"

"I reckon dark magic," Sirius said earnestly. "Anyway..."

 _Sirius peered at the mirror, trying hard to disguise his shock. His reflection was addressing him as if they were two separate people. It was enough to unnerve him and if Sirius was not a wizard in a magical world, he would have downright passed out from fright._

 _"How...what is this?" he asked unsteadily. "Is this some sort of stupid prank or something?"_

 _Sirius looked around, expecting to see his friends, or even a Slytherin in the stalls, snickering at his stupidity and confusion. However, no one was in the lavatory but him and...evidently his reflection._

 _"It is just you and me, Sirius Black," his reflection murmured lazily, lifting up a hand to quiet the other down. "Listen closely."_

 _Sirius held his breath and waited, eyes darting about but always landing on the mirror._

 _"Tick, tick, tock, the heart of fear will flock.  
Lives will fall hither and tither, the foundations of home will wither.  
Make a choice, the time is near; Lord Voldemort is finally here.  
And I cannot lie, not a tear I will shed...  
When unworthy man, woman, and child is dead."_

* * *

Remus sat uncomfortably in the classroom of History of Magic, placed in the way back in the corner. He could not sit still, constantly fidgeting every few seconds and earning concerned glances from Lily, who was sitting beside him at the time. James and Peter had both fallen asleep during the lesson but Remus's mind was too roiled to let him fall asleep. What Sirius had told him had unnerved him even though it seemed like threats and darkness was all he ever heard or read about in the Daily Prophet.

"Remus," Lily murmured softly, shooting her friend a sympathetic glance. "What's wrong?"

"Wrong?" Remus echoed. "Nothing is wrong...nothing, why?"

"Remus, you're acting...weird, don't tell me nothing is wrong," Lily chided gently, making sure she was stern yet not unapproachable.

Remus shot her a deflated look before he ran a hand through his sandy blonde hair, rubbing his eyes wearily. What had happened, he could not put into words and what had been going on for the past few days was just as exhausting.

"I can't keep up," Remus admitted. "It's all so much."

Lily hummed albeit with a frown, rubbing Remus's back subtly as she rested her head on his shoulder.

"You mean with your mate, Black?" she said and sighed quietly. "I wonder what happened to him, too."

Remus could only offer her a meaningless shrug, a shrug indicating he had no idea either. The story Sirius told him seemed so far fetched, it sounded as though Sirius made it up on the spot. However, Madam Pomfrey told him the scars Sirius made were made from dark magic and therefore could not be healed the same way...much like the scars Remus inflicted upon himself when he was a werewolf.

"Yeah..."

"Do you want to talk about it?" Lily asked, looking at Remus.

"Do you want to hear about it?" Remus asked pointedly.

Lily offered him a smile, which was meant to encourage Remus to continue. The young werewolf rubbed his mouth, looking thoughtful and brooding before he began pulling out his parchment and dipping his quill in his ink bottle.

 **It was what I heard from Sirius. -R**

Lily tilted her head in questioning as she read the note and instantly started writing back.

 **What do you mean? -L**

 **There was apparently someone else there. Sirius wasn't alone or whatever that means. -R**

 **There was someone else there? -L**

 **So he says. Someone made him do it or something of another. -R**

 **I dunno, Remus. -L**

Remus paused and mouthed: _Dark Magic_ to which Lily knit her eyebrows and began writing furiously.

 **If you say there is dark magic, I bet you a hhippogriff's hind leg the Restricted Section in the library would have something about what you described. -L**

 **You need permission to get in, Lils. And with my being a werewolf, my status will not help my case. -R**

 **I can get permission for you. -L**

Remus paused in his note passing to steal a shocked glance over to Lily, grateful for her offer on assistance. She merely smiled and patted his hand fondly, a sign she was there for him as he was there for her.

James had only seen half of the commotion over at the other table but what he saw made his skin itch with curiosity. For the rest of the period, he say there wondering what in Merlin's beard the two were conversing about that had them so...happy looking.

When Remus headed out without James or Peter, the two remaining friends looked on suspiciously as Lily Evans walked up to the front of the classroom to address Professor Binns. James nodded to Peter, who volunteered to stay behind with Evans so he could chase Remus.

The sixth year was already halfway down the hall when James finally caught up to him, having to bark at a few second years in Hufflepuff. He grabbed Remus's shoulders then draped his arm over them, pulling Remus closer.

"Putting in a good word for me to Evans?" James asked cheekily, trying to lighten the mood.

"Sure, mate," Remus snorted, rolling his eyes with a half exasperated and half fond glare.

James actually frowned and knit his eyebrows.

"What was that little exchange?" he inquired curiously.

Remus caught on to James's curiosity and sighed, quickening his pace.

"You should probably talk to Padfoot before I start talking because what I would say would make no sense to you unless you asked Sirius so..." Remus said, trailing off at the end.

James pulled a puzzled expression before giving in and following Remus silently, Peter on his other side. With Sirius still in the Hospital Wing, the three of them now spent their free time going to and from the Infirmary, popping in at random times to see their friend, who was on bed arrest. Madam Pomfrey was very good with them, patient and understanding with their constant presence.

"Boys, good to see you back," she greeted right as they entered. "What do you have for Mr. Black today?"

"Madam Pomfrey, why do you insist on calling me something my father is called, too?" Sirius groaned from his bed.

Madam Pomfrey was a no nonsense person but Sirius had suddenly become one of her favorites, along with Remus, because of his naturally good and happy demeanor and bright and contagious smile. Madam Pomfrey was usually pretty brisk but with Sirius, she was much more at ease, smiling more and laughing, and generally in a more jovial spirit.

"Because that is your name, Sirius," Madam Pomfrey said with a small chuckle. "He's over there and doing much better...although there is something I worry about that we may have to discuss later."

Sirius tilted his head at that and Remus, Peter, and James each looked at one another and Madam Pomfrey with an expression of mild surprise and curiosity, but they first went over to see to Sirius, sitting around his bed and pulling up chairs.

"I've got your notes to ensure you will not fall behind in any lessons," Remus said in a matter of fact tone. "I have them listed out by parchment rolls and colored ink I used. So far, you came out lucky, you aren't missing much."

Sirius huffed fondly, rolling his eyes, and turned to James and Peter.

"Please tell me you have something more interesting!"

"Oi!" Remus exclaimed.

"I do," James said and pulled out some chocolate from his book bag. "Honeyduke's, of course."

He broke it in fourths and handed large slabs to each of his friends.

"So, Paddy," James said around a mouthful of chocolate. "What's this story we've got here?"

Sirius swallowed his chocolate and grimaced, trying his best to erase the memory even though he had been asked to recall it on several occasions. With a sigh, he sat up straighter and looked at his hands as he began to talk.

James listened well throughout the entire story, catching on to every little detail and asking similar questions to what Remus had previously asked. Sirius was patient, too, taking the interruptions and questions with care and understanding. His friends could all tell Sirius was having a bit of a struggle retelling them what had happened for he had tried his best to forget, but this time it was Madam Pomfrey who was listening, too.

"Have you taken this to the Headmaster, dear?" Madam Pomfrey asked, putting a hand on the bed railing and leaning forward. "This is certainly something Professor Dumbledore would like to hear."

"He's busy," Sirius said at once.

Before anyone else could add their own input, the doors burst open and in came another, a sixth student. Their eyes were blazing and their demeanor wild. They held up a piece of ripped parchment and waved it about.

"Try...the Imperius Curse."

Severus Snape whipped a book and the piece of ripped parchment on the foot of Sirius's bed before whisking out of sight, his Slytherin robes billowing as he rounded the corner with lightning speed.

* * *

 **Padfoot123321 and Moony7/9118: I am soooo sorry for the wait. I will do my best to make sure that will not happen again!**

 **Anyway, here is the latest and I hope you find this to be worth the wait? I hope, at least. Again, I'm sorry *bows on knees* forgive me, forgive me, haha. The next update should be sometime tomorrow. That I can promise you (in the next 24 hours).**


	21. Rekindling A Broken Bridge

**All rights remain.**

 _On a boring Thursday night, around midnight, sat Lily Evans and Frank Longbottom. The two remained silent for some time, letting their thoughts take them away. It seemed as though both were thinking of completely different things but believing they were thinking of the same or similar thing._

 _"This is so bad," Lily murmured, shaking her head. "I can't believe this."_

 _"I know, no one would have expected this," Frank said, scratching his nose. "Everything was going so well."_

 _"Not really..." Lily said slowly, trailing off at the end. "Things were definitely better...safer, I meant."_

 _"Safer?" Frank echoed, now pausing to look at Lily. "What in Merlin's beard does that mean?"_

 _Lily turned to look at Frank and frowned, realizing now that they, perhaps, were not talking about the same thing. With a little blush, she bit her lip and tilted her chin up at Frank, who looked back at her with confusion in his expression._

 _"What are you talking about?" she asked._

 _"What are you talking about?" Frank snorted._

 _"Black!" Lily exclaimed._

 _"Oh, I was talking about Alice," Frank muttered, looking down awkwardly. "Sorry..."_

 _Lily sighed, deciding teen angst and drama she would rather take than what was going on in her mind. She tucked her legs closer to herself and turned so she could face Frank better, angling her body._

 _"What's going on with you and Alice?" she asked curiously and quite genuinely. "Is something wrong?"_

 _Frank rubbed the back of his neck, sighing as he did so._

 _"I'm not made of money, Lily, despite being a pure-blood and all that," he said and sagged his shoulders. "Alice's parents aren't too fond of me...because of my financial differences. I dunno what I'm going to say about that."_

 _Lily looked on with shock. She could never imagine having to deal with familial issues due to financial crises but she was not a pure-blood (she was far from one) so perhaps wealth was not the biggest of deals to her family._

 _"I'm sorry, Frank," Lily said sympathetically, reaching out to rub his shoulder. "What's going to happen to you and Alice?"_

 _"I dunno if she wants to break it off or not," Frank fretted, tugging at his hair ever so slightly. "Merlin, I hope not!"_

 _Lily planted a kiss on Frank's cheek, an action of reassurance. For as long as she knew Alice, Frank (besides Remus) was the one she always talked about. Alice never quieted down about the great heart Frank had or the adorable face or dreamy eyes. Lily could have sworn Alice started listing off Frank's beauty features in her sleep one night when it was particularly cold._

 _"Frank, I know Alice," Lily said. "And you know Alice. You two need to start talking to each other and figure out what's on your lot's mind, yeah? Think you can do that without getting peeved at each other?"_

 _Frank chuckled heartily and hugged Lily happily, a smile coming back to his face._

 _"Thanks," he said to her. "Now, what were you talking about earlier?"_

 _"Giving you advice?" Lily asked, confused._

 _"No, about earlier," Frank said hastily, waving his problems off easily with a hand. "You and I were talking about something completely different before, so, what were you talking about then?"_

 _Lily, for some reason, felt reluctant to expel any details about Sirius's situation, not wanting to get in trouble in case he wanted any information to remain private. She ran a hand through her hair and pointed in the direction of the boys' dormitory._

 _"Black," she said simply. "Black got hurt."_

 _"Oh, yeah!" Frank exclaimed, snapping his fingers. "I visited Sirius during one of my free periods to see how he was doing. He's just really bored and tired...but also he looked really pale and kind of worried so I reckon why that must be."_

 _"He got hurt," Lily pointed out._

 _"He was alone," Frank argued._

 _"So they wanted us to believe," Lily countered._

 _"No one was in there so who else would it be?" Frank inquired._

 _"Anyone really," Lily insisted._

 _Frank and Lily both fell silent, the two looking away from one another in case they said anything they would regret later. Lily bit her lip, wrapping her arms around herself while Frank leaned back against his hands, bringing his knee up to his chest._

 _"I worry, too. I dorm with Sirius and he's a good friend," Frank said softly, deciding to break the silence saying the right thing. "Lily...I think it's time for you to...reconsider your...resources."_

 _"What the hell does that mean?" Lily asked heatedly, this being one of the very few times he swore. "What do you reckon, Frank?"_

 _"Talk to someone who knows the Dark Arts...like really knows the Dark Arts," Frank suggested, keeping eye contact with his friend. He sounded somber and serious, more so than he had in ages. "I know you're against it, Lils, but it's...it could help."_

 **.oOo.**

 _"Lily!" Snape exclaimed, his heart jumping a million miles an hour._

 _Lily's gaze flickered away for a moment, the agony of the memories rising to her thoughts breaking down her walls. seeing Snape in the halls but not being able to consider him a friend anymore had hurt her more than she would have ever believed to be possible. But now talking to her old friend as if he was a stranger made her bite back a few tears welling in her eyes._

 _"Sn...I need help," Lily murmured, raising her gaze to meet his. "I need your help."_

 _"I thought...of course," Snape said, changing his phrase and forgetting what he originally wanted to say. "Course, what...what's wrong, Lily?"_

 _Lily ran a hand through her hair then folded her arms over her chest, rubbing her arm awkwardly. She looked uncomfortable for she was, the agony of the memories flooding made it nearly unbearable to endure. Snape seemed to stab there as if nothing was effecting him, as if their loss of friendship meant nothing, which hurt her._

 _What...if someone...no, if you were alone_ ― _or you thought you wwere...and then you do something you would not have done yourself..."_

 _Lily trailed off helplessly, unsure of how to put her thoughts into words. She ran a hand down her face as she expressed her agitation with a hefty sign. Snaps just watched her patiently, his expression drawn carefully blank but respectfully so._

 _"You see...what kind of magic makes you do funny things?" she said in compendium._

 _Snape looked at Lily long and hard before he finally ._

 _"I don't know."_

 _Lily sighed and nodded, thanking him anyway and leaving no room for them to talk about anything else, though she never rejected his attempt to reconcile their lost friendship. All she did, when Snape asked if she really wanted to throw away what they had built, was shrug and wave goodbye, turning the corner before he could say anything else._

* * *

"You toerag, Potter!" Lily said shrilly, bristling angrily.

"You're really talking to that greasy git again?" James said, trying and mostly succeeding to hide the dismay in his voice, replacing it with anger and disbelief.

"He helped you find out what happened, Potter!" Lily practically shouted.

James suppressed groaning; it felt as though what he had built up with Lily (which may not have been much to begin with) was crashing right back down on him. The agony of losing what he started made his heart ache more painfully than ever.

"Do you even care?" Lily asked softly, but dangerously so.

"Merlin's beard, of course I care!" James asked, astounded. "What does that supposed to mean, Evans?"

"I meant what I said because I am beginning to wonder if you actually care what happened to your best mate or if you care more about asking me out on a date."

James froze as soon as the statement was out. The worst part was that Sirius was lying in the bed, listening and hearing (without much of a choice) to every word between the two bickering Gryffindors. Sirius had not said a single word either, which may have made the situation even worse.

Lily huffed with narrowed eyes before stalking off, leaving Remiss to call after her, only to be ignored. The werewolf rubbed his face with both hands before sitting down at the foot of Sirius' s bed and putting his elbows in his knees wearily.

"You lot can leave if you want to get some dinner," Sirius said softly.

The voice had startled them all out of their thoughts, breaking their concentration and making them turn to face the eldest Black heir.

"I'm probably going to sleep anyway soon," Sirius added hastily, burying deeper into the blankets for emphasis.

Remus, Peter, and James exchanged looks with one another before playing along and nodding, rising to their feet.

"Night, Padfoot," James said, patting Sirius's knee.

The other two bid him a good night and a farewell before heading off. Peter was the last one to go but Sirius called him out.

"Wormy?"

Peter turned around and before he walked any further, he turned.

"Can you stay for a bit?" he asked.

"Of course," Peter said in agreement, migrating back to Sirius's bed. "What can I get for you?"

"Nothing right now," Sirius reassured. "But I have to ask a favor..."

Peter pursed his lips before letting out a silent exhalation, nodding to encourage Sirius to continue. While he looked calm on the outside, he was worried and fearful for what he would be asked to do. Peter was never good under pressure, especially when it came to his friends because he worried so much about doing it right, he often messed it up. Peter cleared his throat.

"Sirius," he said.

"Right," Sirius said, shaking himself out of his own thoughts. "You're small and the eyes and ears of Hogwarts. I need your help checking out that lavatory. I think...I think I missed something in there."

Peter nodded, winking subtly to show his friend he knew what he meant and that he got the hidden message. Sirius, who looked relieved, let out a huge breath he was evidently holding in and whispered "thanks" to him. Peter gave Sirius the thumbs up before slowly rising to his feet.

"Oh," Peter said before he left and before he would forget. "Pay no mind to what Evans and Prongs were saying, all right? He does care about you, James cares."

Sirius just flashed his friend a small smile before looking preoccupied with something else. Peter pulled the doors shut behind him as he exited the Hospital Wing, his mind somewhere else completely. Evidently, he was not the only one distracted.

"Prongs," Remus said for the fifth time. "Prongs, oi, hello?"

James snapped out of his daze and turned to look at his friend blankly.

"Do you have a functioning brain-to-mouth filter?" Remus chided, looking at his friend disapprovingly. "You and Lily's row was probably not the best one to have right in front of our patient."

James bit his lip for he knew what he did was certainly not the best; he had nothing to defend himself with and especially when he knew he was not right. Howevwr, things have been building inside him for ages, one of the top ones was the mystery truth of his father and the true meaning of his disappearance. Even knowing if his father was still alive would alleviate some of his worries. But James stuck it together for his mother, who he knew was struggling as well. As a result, he had become...different.

"Sorry,"James finally said.

Remus softened his gaze and even allowed a small smile to slip upon his features.

"I know you're probably skiving Potions so I'll see you later, yeah?" Remus said, beginning to head in a different direction.

"No, no, I'm heading over, too, mate," James reassured, following Remus and matching his pace.

Remus and James headed off to Potions,going round and round on a spiral staircase leading to the dungeons. Professor Slughorn was a definite favorite of the professors at Hogwarts (despite his house) for he was often respectful and nonbiased.

Slughorn greeted them as they walked through the door and took their stations at a wooden table. Professor Slughorn came forth after setting down a few textbooks and looked at the two boys.

"Professor?" James said promptly.

"Where is….where….is that little round boy?" Professor Slughorn asked, looking around expectantly.

Evidently he did not have a functioning brain-to-mouth filter either, Remus thought to himself.

"You mean Peter Pettigrew?" James asked, raising an eyebrow. "He was feeling ill this entire day."

Remus nearly gave them away but he managed to keep a straight face and refrain from a questioning glance.

"We are taking notes for him….and Sirius," Remus chimed in, thinking quickly. "You know...Sirius got hurt…"

"I have heard, dear boy," Professor Slughorn said fretfully. "I just can't imagine what would do that to him. I have always been fond of the Black family. Pity I didn't get the set, eh?"

James and Remus nodded, not sure what else to say.

"Poor bloke, surely he knows who did this to him," Professor Slughorn said, looking at James and Remus in turn.

"Actually, Professor, we dunno know if there was anyone else around at the time," James said. "We think he may have been alone."

For the entirety of the class, Remus was no longer listening. Whatever James was saying sounded like white noise, background noise, blurred. His mind was somewhere else though he would have never thought about it if it were not for the obvious hint.

"Moony?"

Remus snapped out of his daze and stared at James with a slight tilt to his head.

"Oi, it's Snape…."

"Mate, we are _not_ pulling anything on Snape right now because now is just not the time."

"I'm not talking about that!" James hissed and nudged Remus underneath the table with his foot. "Snape gave us a book about the Imperius Curse, right?"

"Because Lily had something to do with it and you know Snape practically kisses the ground she walks on," Remus replied. "If she asked for his help, if course he would help her."

"If you're suggesting Snivellus has a soul, I still will not believe you. It's probably rubbish anyway," James insisted, knitting his eyebrows and frowning.

"I guarantee you Snape was feeling guilty," Remus said with a casual shrug. "I bet a hippogriff's hind leg he had something to do with it….or at least he knew something about it."

James did not disagree though he did not say anything. He rubbed his forehead and went back to staring at the cauldron and the bubbling potion before him. _Rubbish_ , he kept thinking to himself.

* * *

"Regulus! Avery!" Snape shouted, fury bubbling inside his chest. "What did you do?"

"Nothing?" Regulus sneered, confused at the other's outburst.

"Liar, I know you did something to your brother, Regulus," Snape insisted, hands curling into fists. "What were you thinking?"

"I find it amusing that you decide to make a huge deal of it in the middle of the Great Hall, fool! Shut up, Snivellus!" Regulus snarled, his face dangerously close to the other's whilst his eyes blazed with anger and warning.

"The Imperius Curse, right?" Snape hissed in a near whisper, his lip curling back.

"Why do you care so much? What? Getting a soft spot for family, Snape?" Regulus taunted.

"Never, but you've got a pack of determined wolves behind you, trying to figure out what happened to their mate, idiot," Snape said coldly, dark eyes glittering with rage. "And you have left quite the scent trail."

"If you haven't gone and befriended that Mudblood again, maybe we would have been less obvious," Regulus snarled. "You're leading them right towards us."

"Forget it," Snape said after a pause.

Regulus suppressed a sigh and sunk down in his seat, for some reason he hid his face. Snape turned around, rolling his eyes, when he spotted Lily Evans a few feet away from where he was standing. The two locked gazes for the briefest of moments before Lily turned away hastily, pushing past a group of Ravenclaws.

Snape cursed under his breath and hared after his friend, trying to keep up with her retreating figure.

"Lily, Lily, wait!" Snape called out as soon as they entered the empty corridors. "Please, Lily, wait!"

"No, Severus!" Lily said shrilly, whipping around in red hot fury. "You played me like a fool! I'm done with this!"

"Lily, please; what I said back there….I meant none of it…?" Snape tried but the end of his sentence sounded like a question.

"Rubbish, Snape. For Merlin's sake, just leave me alone," Lily said, folding her arms over her chest. "I was ready to make our friendship work but apparently, this was not mutual."

Snape hung his head and watched as Lily walked away slowly, misery coming off her in waves.

"And you're better off without that Mudblood, Snape," Regulus said, determined to make his point.

"Don't call her that," Snape said sadly, watching after the spot where she had disappeared to.

Snape had made a mistake and he knew he had done so. Just when he begun to weave his (rocky) friendship with Lily once more, he had gone and ruined it because he could not keep his spite in check. With nothing more to lose, Snape began to grow desperate, he began to think less and less and began to do more and more.

"Where is Avery and Mulciber?" Snape asked, his voice suddenly dead and devoid of all emotion.

"Dungeons."

That was, perhaps, the day Snape had decided life was simply too dark to try and make it light. He was human, which meant he was flawed. But how flawed could one individual get? From this day forth, he was going to figure out what it meant to climb up mountains and fall down cliffs.

* * *

 **Holy bad chapter. I am so sorry this is horrible. I hated the way it kept turning out so I kept restarting it but sheesh.**

 **Remus9118: What James said will be coming up in some later chapters. I promise.**

 **Padfoot123321: Haha, sorry for the wait but this chapter was absolutely horrible. I hope to start a better one! Anyway, my computer kept malfunctioning.**

 **1monster2: As always, I love to hear your thoughts and feedback. And hahaha, you can hit Regulus, Snape, and Avery. Knock 'em out, haha.**


	22. A Tongue, A Gun, The Truth, The Bullet

**All rights remain.**

It was crisp outside, the icy air catching the breath right from people's lungs. Four friends walked down to Hogsmeade together, bundled in their jackets with the collars flared up and their hands shoved in their pockets. October was closing off to an end, no one seemed to mind the cooler weather and after such a warm summer, everyone was welcoming the chilly air.

Sirius was released from the Hospital Wing on the vow he would take care of himself and his friends would keep an eye out on Sirius. However, in the mix of all that has been happening, one question still remained there and unanswered: _was it really Regulus and his mates who put Sirius under the Imperius Curse_? The motive was never much of a question for The Marauders could guess why Sirius's younger brother would want to harm his older brother; it was more of of the question _who_ instead of _why_.

While the ordeal with Sirius had been happening, there was something wrong with James. His father had gone missing a while ago but now the news of Mr. Potter, a famous Auror, had revealed some of the Ministry's deepest secrets and was on the run with Avery came to light and nothing seemed to make sense anymore. James had been struggling under the mystery and the truth about his missing (and possibly dead) father.

Along with James and Sirius's problems, Remus had his own to worry about. The last full moon, Remus had an unknown visitor. No one knew who it was even though they once claimed to know. They had no proof of who it really was. The motive was a bit clearer, Greyback was recruiting and wanted Remus, a young and more impressionable werewolf to join the others underground, but why Greyback had sent someone unknown was unclear to them.

Peter stared at the ground, listening to the frosted leaves crunch under his shoes as he stepped on them here and there. He was the only one who was not yet effected by anything strange and unexplained. While this could look suspicious and quite possibly downright accusing, Peter had no idea why people had targeted his friends but not him. He knew Sirius came from a very well known family, and James had a very important father in the Wizarding World...Remus and his status as a werewolf...he did not know what this all meant.

"Wormy, are you frozen back there?" James jested, turning around to see his friend no longer keeping in pace with them. "What's got you stuck, mate?"

"Nothing," Peter said in a quieter voice, quickening his pace once more to catch up with his friends. "I thought I saw something, but there wasn't anything there..."

"What'd you see? Or rather, what'd you think you saw?" Remus asked curiously, rubbing his hands together subtly as he looked at Peter.

Peter shrugged, not really wanting to admit he was just thinking and he began to slow down; Sirius snorted with a small smile, his quirky self back and bouncing forward. He walked backward to face his friends and looked left and right, eyeing all the shops and the possible warmth the buildings could offer. He first pointed to Honeyduke's with his eyebrows raised.

"We were just there a few days ago," James said with a shake of his head. "The Three Broomsticks never fails."

"Rubbish, you just like Rosmerta," Sirius snickered though he nodded in agreement.

"True, but her food never let _me_ down," James stated in a matter-of-fact tone. "Moony, Wormtail, are you in?"

"Where else would I be going?" Remus stated dully, flashing his friend a little smirk.

The four of them headed off to their favorite pub to get a taste of Rosmerta's delicious food and irresistible butterbeer. On a chilled day like this one, a warm mug of butterbeer sounded very promising.

As always, Madam Rosmerta was there to greet them as soon as they entered her pub. She flashed them a white toothed smile and handed off a mug to one of her other customers. She, then, proceeded to walk over to the four boys, smiling as she did so.

"Good to see you," she said with a little laugh. "I didn't know today was a day you lot could visit Hogsmeade."

"It isn't," Sirius stated plainly. "But who cares, eh? Four butterbeers, right?"

The other three chorused their agreement.

"Find your seats, boys," Madam Rosmerta said with a nod of her head, switching her tray to her other hand. "Tip me nicely, boys!"

The Marauders all chuckled as Madam Rosmerta went to go and fix their beverages and the four of them went to go find a place to sit down. With not many other Hogwarts students, the pub was pretty quiet, which made it hard for them to have a conversation without running the risk of being overheard. They leaned in the table close together, heads bowed and voices low.

"Guess what?" Peter started out, deciding his news was probably a piece of news the others would want to hear relatively soon. "You-Know-Who's little followers, what are they called?"

"Death Eaters," Sirius said helpfully.

"Yeah, that lot...it looks like they have a new recruit," Peter said very somberly. "You wouldn't guess who either."

"Do I dare ask?" Remus said though he looked very intrigued.

Peter shot him a little look though it was all in good nature. However, before he could answer, Madam Rosmerta came swinging by with their ordered drinks. James paid her right away and with a generous tip. She set down the mugs in front of the four and addressed them hastily.

"Better drink up soon, I hear Hagrid and Professor McGonagall are heading over soon for their break."

The boys grumbled but thanked her for the warning before resuming their conversation. At first, none of the four said anything for they were too busy basking in the deliciousness of their butterbeer, but James was the one to break the silence, nudging Peter roughly and clearing his throat noticeably. Peter swallowed and stared at James, wondering blankly what he wanted.

"Who?" James hissed impatiently. "Who joined the Death Eaters?"

"Don't say that so loud," Remus chided hastily.

"Is it someone from here?" Sirius asked, gesturing to the pub. "I meant a student at Hogwarts?"

"I think Snivellus."

James dropped his mug of and narrowed his eyes at Peter. The news should not have surprised him as much as it did, but he wanted to know when this all occurred and how the bloody hell Peter knew.

"I overheard it, Prongs," Peter said, setting his elbows on the table.

Remus waved his wand and brought the spilled butterbeer and fallen mug back on to the table, flicking his wand again and cleaning up the mess with a hasty " _Scourgify_." James did not take his eyes off Peter though.

"I reckon you want a story," he said with a nod. "All right..."

 _Peter scurried along the window ledge of the boys' lavatory, where Sirius was found bleeding by the wrists. His nose twitched as his whiskers picked up on the air vibrations of hasty movement. He pricked his ears and looked about, shrinking in a little and hiding out of sight. The doors to the bathroom launched open and in came two Slytherins Peter did not recognize, Avery, and Snape._

 _"Snape's finally growing up," the masked figure sneered._

 _With a jolt, Peter realized it was the voice of Regulus Black._

 _"Shut it, Black," Snape hissed and looked around. "Are we going to do this or not?"_

 _"We are, but not here, you fool," Regulus said, pulling out his wand and pulling up his sleeve._

 _Peter caught a glimpse of a black marking on his left forearm; a skull, a snake slithering from the skull's mouth, the stark black ink against Regulus's paler skin. Peter's whiskers twitched; he was staring at the Dark Mark._

 _"I thought you couldn't summon with that," Snape said, nodding to the mark._

 _"I'm not summoning anyone with it, bloody idiot," Regulus snarled impatiently. "Merlin's beard, is he always this clueless?"_

 _"I'd watch it," Snape warned._

 _Regulus rolled his eyes and looked around before lifting both sleeves, letting a piece of rolled up parchment fall from the crevices of his attire. It dropped to the floor but opened up with a flick of Regulus's hand._

 _"My cousin," Regulus said. "She'll meet us in the mountain's right off of Hogsmeade, which means we have to sneak out. Up for playing Rebel?"_

 _Snape tried not to look concerned though there was a flicker of doubt in his darkened gaze. Regulus took the other's silence for agreement and pressed the wand tip to the parchment, making a weird sigil glow bright blue. The light died out quickly and Regulus stuffed the parchment back in his robes, a small smirk on his divinely handsome features._

 _"Ready or not, here she comes," he said._

 _Peter scurried all the way to the edge of Hogsmeade, following the group of sneaking Slytherins out of the castle and into the night. It was not a hard feat, considering he was less than a foot long and only a few inches tall. However, the long distance wore him out and wore him down. The exhaustion came to play its part several times, which made Peter feel tempted to transform back and walk on his own two feet. However, he did not want to give himself away so he suffered through it all._

 _Finally, the exhaustion payed off. They had made it to the edge where there was a soft blue glow, barely visible, towards the rocky slopes just off Hogsmeade. Regulus, the one of the far right, nudged Snape forward. The one of Snape's left, the unfamiliar one, vanished in a_ _whoosh of black smoke; the second unfamiliar one did the same, leaving Regulus and Snape alone._

 _"Ready?" Peter heard Regulus ask._

 _"Obviously," Snape said, his lips barely moving._

 _The two hiked up to the small opening to a shallow cave. Peter scurried over rocks, nearly getting his paws or (worse) himself crunched underneath boulders easily six or seven times as large and heavy as he. Peter's tail got stuck on countless times, but he kept plunging upward, determined to keep up with the other two just to see what they were up to._

 _"Reggy," came a soft, singsong voice. "Reggy, is that you?"_

 _"Bella?" Regulus murmured._

 _The soft breeze carried the putrid scent of Bellatrix Lestrange, a cousin of Regulus (and also Sirius) Black. The twisted woman and sadistic spirit seemed so youthful and beautiful, still. She inherited the Black family's godly looks. However, her eyes were dark and heart full of hatred and coldness._

 _"This is...Snape," Regulus said, unsure of what to call his friend. "Severus Snape."_

 _Bellatrix looked over at Regulus's company and tilted her chin up ever so slightly, her wand twisting an end of her hair as she looked at him thoughtfully. Her lips formed into a pout and her head tilted to the side. Peter's fur was standing on edge as he crept behind a large boulder, big enough to conceal his presence from the three._

 _"Bellatrix," Snape regarded stoically, nodding. "I heard you would be able to help me?"_

 _"I'm no charity worker," Bellatrix shrieked with laughter though there was no real laughter in her voice. "It depends on what you want help with, boy."_

 _Snape looked completely unnerved by the strange witch while Peter was practically shaking (and he was not even addressing Bellatrix at the time). He shrunk back a little and relied on his hearing for a while._

 _"The Dark Mark, Bellatrix Lestrange," Snape said very evenly. "Regulus said you would be able to help me with that."_

 _"What?" Bellatrix said in a baby voice. "Does Snape want a Dark Mark?"_

 _Snape raised both eyebrows, still unfazed by the witch's strange behavior towards him. He merely nodded, pulling out his wand and dropping it on the floor to disarm himself, proving he was no threat. And he also dropped a few sickles by Bellatrix's feet._

 _"I don't need money, you bloody fool," Bellatrix suddenly hissed, her baby voice gone and her twisted teasing manner dissipated. "I come from a highly wealthy family and I certainly would not touch scum's money."_

 _Snape bit back a retort and nodded, picking up the sickles and stuffing them back in his pocket._

 _"Will you help me, Bellatrix?"_

 _"Yes," she said and looked at him for a moment, regarding him silently. "You have two options, Snape. Either wait until you graduate from this pathetic school or I can get Master to give it to you now."_

 _Peter held his breath, inching out to see Snape and Regulus both standing side by side. They were wrapped in their cloaks, illuminated by the glow of Bellatrix's wand. She, herself, was not much taller than Snape. Regulus, who was merely fifteen, towered over his cousin, but she still looked the most frightful by far. Her heavily lidded eyes cast shadows over her face, her twisted sneer impossible to forget._

 _"Well?" she prompted._

 _"I'll wait," Snape decided ever so slowly, speaking cautiously. "I will wait until I graduate."_

 _"Okay," Bellatrix said in her normal singsong voice, eerie enough to raise hairs on the back of necks. "I will tell Master he has a new recruit waiting. Now, before we part, let me ask you something, boy."_

 _"Anything," Snape said smoothly._

 _"What makes you so special?"_

 _"Bella, he's wicked gifted in Defense Against the Dark Arts," Regulus said quickly. "Even better, he's got a bloody knack at Potions."_

 _Bellatrix merely looked at Snape, who looked at her evenly._

 _"I could brew the most powerful Sleeping Draught when I was in our second year," he stated plainly. "Am I special enough?"_

 _"Master may take special interest in you," Bellatrix said and suddenly smiled. "But if it were up to me..."_

 _"But it's not," Regulus interjected._

 _"Until later, Severus Snape," Bellatrix Lestrange said with a strange cackle. In a fraction of a second, she disappeared on the spot._

* * *

"Prongs, I mean it," Remus warned, his jaw set and his eyes ablaze. "Tell Lily anything, she'll hate you."

James snorted, his mouth slightly agape.

"I'm not the one who went and made friends with a Dark Arts loving, murderous Potions master, Death Eater!"

"That's a mouthful," Sirius said from where he was laying. "Just drop it, mate. Evans dumped his sorry arse a long time ago, if you can remember. That's what you two last argued about and probably are still arguing about."

"First of all," James said, turning to face his other friend. "Evans and I are not arguing about anything right now. We're not even talking really so just...bugger off. Secondly, if I told Evans the truth, she would give me more credit for actually being sincere."

"But that's not the point," Remus protested a bit impatiently, hands going up in exasperation. "It's not going to make her feel any better, it's going to make you look worse because you have no evidence to prove this, and quite honestly...it's none of her business."

James's eyes practically jumped out of his head, Sirius sat up in surprise, and Peter's mouth dropped open. Remus, then, went on the defensive, looking at his friends in turn and wondering why they had reacted so dramatically.

"Of course it's her business," James practically shouted. "She's still pining after her lost friend or whatever."

"You're wrong!" Remus insisted a bit loudly. "Lily's over Snape. Sure the loss of their friendship still hurts, but she understands they went their different ways. Why can't you see past your own jealousy, James?"

"Ouch," the bespectacled student deadpanned. "Fine, I won't be the one to tell her but she has a right to know."

"I actually do agree with Prongs on this one," Peter said as Sirius nodded. "She deserves to know."

"I think she already does," Remus pointed out a bit dryly. "She's not clueless, you know?"

"But if Snape admits it to her, she can forget about him once and for all," James said, looking at Remus deeply. "So if I cannot tell her, then you have to be the one to tell Evans what Snivellus is up to. Fair?"

Remus did not find this to be fair at all but he would rather have passed the news to his friend himself rather than have James do it. With a sigh and a long pause of silence, Remus finally nodded in his agreement.

 **.oOo.**

Lily and Remus walked side by side in silence, simply enjoying one another's company. The two were comfortable, looking here and there, left and right, front and back as they strode about the empty corridors on Prefect Patrol.

"Lily," Remus said, his voice a bit breathless.

"Hm?" she asked, seemingly still a little distracted.

Remus inhaled deeply, staring out the window to his right, looking at the vacant courtyard, watching the leaves blow around int he October wind. Halloween was coming up, but he knew that was just a distraction topic.

"We need to talk," he started, cursing himself for sounding so bad with words.

Lily sniffed, licking her lips as she turned her head to look at him. Her eyebrows were drawn in slightly and a faint frown on her lips. Other than that, the expression she wore was merely curiosity.

"It's about...Snape," Remus said, not sure how he was going to word this at all. "It's...it's..."

He exhaled through his mouth, running a hand irritably through his hair, annoyed with himself, not at her. He rubbed a hand over his mouth, looking up at the arcing ceiling for a moment, gathering himself.

"Remus, stop," Lily instructed, placing a gentle hand on his chest.

She walked over so she could stand before him, placing both hands on his chest and looking up at him. There was quite a height difference, with Lily only being 5 foot and 5 inches and Remus standing at 6 feet and 1 inch. Yet somehow, she was always the one to come out on top. So, of course, Remus did stop walking and he took the time to look at her properly.

"What about?" she prompted gently. "What about Snape do you want to talk about with me?"

"It's...about...what we overheard...well...yeah and what we...saw," Remus said, trying to sound more sure of himself and his words.

Lily held her breath a little as she gauged for something more, a better explanation.

"Okay, so what did you see?" asked she.

Remus rubbed a hand over his mouth again, exhaling softly.

"Snape...decided to join the Death Eaters as soon as he would graduate," Remus said, deciding to break the news as it was and not waste any more time beating around the truth. "He made that decision with Regulus and...the person to help him into the circle is Bellatrix Black."

There was a horrible, heavy silence.

"You know, Sirius's cousin, Bellatrix Black. And Sirius's brother, Regulus Black. They were helping Snape get acclimated into their circle of Death Eaters," Remus said, biting the inside of his cheek. "I would know because..."

He couldn't give away Peter's disguise or their secret.

"Because I was recruited, too," Remus finally choked out, hating himself for some reason. "And...I was there...underground for some time, learning and listening to what's been rising up slowly for ages."

Technically it was not a lie. Ryser came for Remus on behalf of Greyback, who was looking for more werewolf recruits. Remus was still a prime target for Greyback, whether he agreed to join them or not.

"And I heard they are taking a special interest in Snape's Dark Arts knowledge and Potions skills," he added lastly.

Lily put a hand over her mouth and looked away, tears springing to her green eyes. She said nothing for a few moments, leaving Remus guessing what she was feeling at the moment. But he was scared to find out.

"What now, Remus?" she asked softly, not looking at him.

"I don't know," he said, equally as quiet. "I'm sorry."

Lily merely turned away, resuming their walk down the empty corridor.

* * *

 **Padfoot123321: Yeah, very true. I tried to cram too much Snape action into one chapter. I hope to spread it out more. I think this one was better and hopefully easier to understand.**

 **Remus 9117: Here is the next chapter as you wished for!**

 **And also, I realized I am already in the 20's chapter-wise and only at the end of October. This is going to be a long fanfiction, haha.**


	23. Gold Sessions and Cold Confessions

**All rights remain.**

"Mr. Lupin, I would like to see you after class," Professor McGonagall said shortly, leaving no room for any argument. She even looked at the sixth year as if she expected him to protest (even if everyone knew he would not have the audacity). "Get it?"

"Got it," Remus said, his shoulders sagging.

It just so happened to be the last class before the Halloween feast given for dinner to the students. Remus did _not_ want to miss that. But Remus was notorious for his bad luck. He closed his eyes for one minute and he gets caught by Hogwarts strictest professor.

He trekked up to her desk miserably and looked at Professor McGonagall shyly, waiting for her to say something first.

"Sleeping in my class is unacceptable, there are no shortcuts in your academics or life," Professor McGonagall chided, wasting no time in guilting him. "But if you do not care, why should I?"

"No! I...Professor..."

Remus sagged and watched Professor McGonagall glare at him in disapproval.

"Mr. Lupin, I implore you do not lie to me now," she said strictly, eyeing him down.

Remus opened his mouth to reply but something sharp inside his gut seemed to be ripping his abdomen apart from the inside out. He doubled over with a gasp, hand on his stomach as he tried to quell the stinging pain from within.

"Do you need to see Madam Pomfrey, Mr. Lupin?" Professor McGonagall asked, forgetting all about her angry disposition and racing around her desk and putting a hand on his shoulder. "You look ill and it's close to the time."

"I know," Remus said as politely as he could. "But I'll be okay till the full moon. No disrespect but what did you want from me?"

Professor McGonagall sighed and looked down, so much unlike herself. She backed off and seated herself back behind her desk, moving the quills on her desk and fiddling with the loose parchment.

"Nothing, Mr. Lupin," she said a bit quietly, much more so than her usual volume. "Good day."

Remus tried to thank her through gritted teeth. Remus managed to make it out of the classroom, still doubled over in pain and still trying to steady his ragged breathing. Not looking attentively where he was going, he almost smacked into Lily Evans, who was waiting for him to exit.

"You look awful, Remus," she sighed sympathetically. "Let me take you to Madam Pomfrey."

"No," Remus said hastily, shaking his head vigorously. "I can wait for the full moon. I've just got other stuff to worry about."

"Like what?" Lily inquired, hands on her hips in a very authority-like way.

"Just….stuff, with my friends I mean," Remus said and frowned a little. "Details, details, I didn't think you cared all that much anyway."

Lily looked a bit surprised though she seemed to hide it well as a look of casual indignity washed over her expression.

"I don't suppose I do but I _am_ curious."

Remus knew she would say something along those lines.

"Well, Sirius hasn't got anywhere to go over the holiday break and James's father is apparently on the run with Avery though there really is no evidence so he could actually be dead…."

Remus trailed off pointedly.

"Okay, okay, fine," Lily said, holding up both hands in surrender. "Merlin, I'm sorry to hear about all that….."

Lily began to think.

"Where…...where is Potter?"

"You know…..I have no idea….."

 **.oOo.**

"Wormy, get your arse over here," James said and started rummaging through his trunk full of old and rather useless things. "I need your help with something."

Peter suppressed a groan.

"Blimey, will it cost us all our house points? Or worse….detention? Expulsion? Anything?"

"Ha!" James exclaimed, pulling something out with haste. "Only if we get caught!"

"What is it? A bit of old, spare parchment, Prongs, really?" Peter deadpanned, folding his arms over his chest and flopping down on the edge of Sirius's bed. "That's a bit of a disappointment."

"I think I got all excited for nothing," Sirius groaned theatrically.

"No, listen up, prats," James said in his announcer's voice. "So I was reading about this brilliant spell."

"Wait!" Sirius interrupted, throwing his hands up. "You! You were reading? What? When? And most importantly, why?"

"I was catching up after I fell asleep in Professor McGonagall's lecture," James admitted a bit sheepishly.

"Blimey, I can't believe she didn't hex you into the century," Peter mumbled.

"Okay, true, but listen up, you lot!" James said before the conversation could spiral even more out of control. "I actually have an idea that might just be insane!"

Peter knit his eyebrows, ready to comment that all of James's ideas were insane, but he waited for his friend to explain, curious. Sirius, on the other hand, just looked eager in general, ready to get himself in trouble without wasting a moment's energy over worrying about the consequences.

"Tracking," James said, waving the folded piece of parchment about. "What if we have something that would help us track everyone?"

"I'm not getting it," Peter mumbled, sagging his shoulders as he seemed to get more and more confused. "What do you even mean? Is that even possible, mate? How would a piece of parchment do that?"

"Roll call?" Sirius guessed, joking.

"No, a map," James interjected, a ghost of a smile playing on his lips. "Granted we kind of need Moony's help but we if we made a map of the entire place? It'd be helpful on full moons."

"How?" Peter asked, tilting his head to the side.

"I dunno, I mean, we could make sure no one else is following us if we have the map," James said, shrugging as he set the parchment on the edge of his bed. "What d'you reckon, Wormtail, Padfoot?"

"I still think you're mad," Sirius said.

"Raving lunatic," Peter chimed in.

"But I'm all for it," the Black heir said and raised his hand. "Count me in."

Peter nodded in his approval, which left James to find Remus. Despite it being so close to the full moon, he knew Remus would still be avoiding the Hospital Wing like it was the plague, which only meant he had no idea where to look for his friend.

"Oi, any ideas where Moony is hiding?" James asked, looking at Sirius and Peter for potential answers.

"None," Sirius said.

"Zero," Peter added.

James sighed, already heading out of the dormitory and down to the Common Room, where he could see if anyone else knew. Plus, he would never pass up a chance to talk to Evans. Once he was down there, his eyes scanned the mingling crowd for a spot of red hair among the relatively boring colors of hair.

"Not here," James muttered and sagged, realizing they were probably together. "Why are they _always_ together though?"

Sirius and Peter opened their mouths to respond but someone else beat them to it.

"Oi, Potter!"

James whipped around so fast, it was a miracle his head did not go flying off his shoulders. He came face to face with Lily Evans, the one he was looking for (and Remus). His heart skipped several beats, almost sending him into cardiac infarction and his chest instantly constricted, making breathing a more difficult task. His hand immediately went to his hair, combing his fingers through it, and his voice seemed to get deeper.

"Evans," he said, trying that infamous crooked smile. "Fancy talking to you."

"Yeah, don't get used to it," Lily said sharply, not finding any of his attempts appealing in the slightest. "Keep trying though, you might just get an award for effort over a lost cause."

James tried not to look affected by her words, merely keeping himself composed in front of her. He leaned against the wall for good measure, sticking his hands in the pockets of his uniform pants, shoulder out a bit.

"You must be joking," Lily deadpanned, looking anything but impressed. "Anyway, if you're looking for Remus, he's actually at the Hospital Wing, trying to get a strengthening tonic. I thought you'd have the right to know."

"Oh," James said, shocked. "I...didn't know. So, why do you?"

"I was talking to him earlier," Lily stated simply. "But anyway, if you have to talk to him, you're going to have to wait. I've got a job for you."

James's eyes widened comically, but Lily was still looking completely serious, her eyes narrowed a bit and her hands on her hips in a stern-like way. Sirius and Peter, both, had their jaws hanging down.

"Like what?" James nearly spluttered (rather unattractively if that may be added). "Like...what do you need me to do?"

"We're going to Hogsmeade," Lily said with a bit of a reluctant sigh. "Or...at least I would like you and me to go at the same time at the same places in Hogsmeade on the same day."

James's jaw nearly dropped right then and there, so shocked and confused as to how or why this was happening, especially him.

"So...like a date?" he tried, daring himself to go that bold.

Lily's eyes narrowed in response, her lips twitching down into a faint frown before she recomposed herself.

"Not quite like that, Potter, but consider it hanging out," she said.

James was in absolute shock, his eyes wide, and his words died somewhere in his chest. Just about a million different thoughts were racing through his mind (and were his hands getting sweaty because his hands _never_ sweat).

"Oi, Potter, is that a yes or a no?" Lily asked a bit impatiently, snapping her fingers underneath his nose. "Hello?"

"Yes," James said once he got himself back together. "Yes, that would be great, Evans. So...what time are we talking about here? And when?"

"Tomorrow and at around noon," Lily said and put her hand on her hip. "Can you remember dates and time well or do you need to write this down?"

"I should be fine," James said reassuringly though it did not seem very convincing (judging by the look Lily was still giving him).

The redhead sighed and waved goodbye to James as she slid past him, walking up to her own dormitory, deciding she could do with a few hours of rest and silence. But James, on the other hand, was losing his cool as he bounced around the dormitory.

"Did you see that? Did you just see that?" James bellowed, jumping excitedly from person to person. "She wants to go on a date with me! Me! On Halloween!"

Alice Prewett, who was listening in, frowned a bit as he came over to her, slinging one arm over her slender shoulders and butting between her and Frank. Frank was about to lightly protest but James started talking before he could get a word in.

"Evans! Lily Evans is going on a date with me!" James announced to the happy couple. "Merlin, I never thought this would happen!"

"Not to...ramp it down, but Lily never said it was a date. Sure, she called it hanging out but she never called it an official date," Alice corrected kindly, smiling her kind smile. "But keep working it, she'll come round and see the effort you put in for her."

Frank lifted an eyebrow.

"Most girls appreciate a bloke who tries," Alice chirped happily. "That's hard romance to resist."

Just as Alice was talking, Remus walked in (stumbled in), looking beaten and exhausted yet angry and riled up. It was most certainly not any effects from the full moon but more from someone, who had deliberately ruffled his fur.

"Whoa, what happened, mate?" James asked, walking up to Remus and forgetting all about his 'date' with Lily.

"Slytherin prats," Remus muttered, picking imaginary lint off his shoulder and the paper holder of a muffin from his sleeve. "It's not even worth talking about but blimey, it was a nasty run in with those gits."

James's eyebrows lifted in shock.

"When did you see Slytherins?" James asked though he sounded much more demanding for details.

"Hang on," Sirius interrupted, rushing over to Remus with Peter on his heels. "I don't get it. Where were you?"

"That's just it," Remus said, rubbing his shoulder ruefully yet absentmindedly. "I saw them around the seventh floor by a ruddy empty wall. I dunno what they were doing but they were just standing there! It was all on the seventh floor so when I tried watching what was happening, one got peeved and sent a stinging jinx in my general direction though missing."

He winced as his hand went to his rib cage.

"Although his punches are much better aimed."

James, Peter, and Sirius all exchanged bewildered glances among each other, trying to fathom what had happened to make them seem like they actually understood a word their friend had said. Though wall staring and obsessing was strange for anyone, it was even more so for the Slytherins, who seemed to find every little thing in the castle to complain about.

"What's with the fascination of the wall," James wondered out loud.

"Where did you say you were?" Peter asked again, trying _his_ best to think of an explanation.

"Seventh floor by a wall completely blank," Remus replied, using a grand swiping gesture with his hands for emphasis. "Reckon we should check it out?"

"I'd say!" Sirius snorted, rolling his eyes.

"Are they still there?" Peter inquired.

"Probably not," Remus said dejectedly. "But it just...bothers me not knowing what those gits are up to."

James nodded in agreement but suddenly, he had other things to worry about as well.

* * *

The evening arrived quickly, faster than James would have expected. Suddenly, he was feeling more nervous than excited, which he previously felt a few hours ago. Remus could not stand another minute so he had go hike it to the Hospital Wing. Peter went to redemial for Chamrs (courtesy of Professor Flitwick). And Sirius was nowhere to be found.

"I could only guess he's peeved off at me," James concluded to Frank, who was asking about the eldest Black heir.

"So, what for?" Frank asked.

James merely shrugged.

"All right; well, have fun with your date," Frank said, waving goodbye.

James opened his mouth to politely inform Frank this outing with Evans was most certainly _not_ a date when he finally realized what he was about to do. He was willing to admit this was not a date to upset Lily. So maybe he was not as arrogant or shallow as people made him sound like.

James was interrupted from his thoughts when he realized it was time to go. Steeling away his nerves, James headed down to the Common Room, where he saw Lily seated on the arm rest of a big comforter chair by the fireplace, which was lit to a warm, dim glow.

"Evans," James said, trying not to sound too eager.

"Potter, ready?" Lily greeted briskly then asked, rising to her feet. "I think...there are a few things I need to talk to you about."

"So, somewhere where we can't be overheard?" James inquired, raising an eyebrow.

Lily nodded and stuck her hands in the pockets of her winter cloak, already bracing herself for the chilly air. The two headed out together, turning heads and drawing murmurs of disbelief from the crowd and bypassing students. No one would have expected Lily Evans and James Potter to be spending time together when they did not have to.

Lily pretended not to notice, becoming hyper aware of how poorly she must have treated him; but as she firmly told herself in the past, he had such an inflated ego, she would not let herself feel bad making sure to remind James Potter he was still living on Earth.

"People aren't used to seeing you with me," James observed, not sounding bitter in the slightest. "Everyone is turning to look, did you know?"

Lily blinked and stole a hasty sideways glance at James before she cleared her throat and recomposed herself.

"Bugger that," she said as they headed outside.

There were significantly less people around outside and down by the lake, so James and Lily went down to find themselves at a private location, no prying eyes or ears to overhear their conversation or to see what they were doing (which realistically was only standing and talking).

"I know I _shouldn't_ ask this but I can't help but wonder what made you...want to do this," James muttered, looking avidly at his hands and shoelaces, refusing to meet her eye in case he said something that would insult her.

Instead, Lily just blinked and looked out over the lake, the breeze rustling her hair from her shoulder. She crossed her arms over herself and her shoulders sagged a little, looking less hostile and more...approachable.

"Because the last time we tried didn't work on too well...all on my account," Lily said, trying to keep her voice even and level. "So I knew it was worth another shot, Potter. But, there's something I'd like to talk about."

James felt like he could melt into an incoherent puddle at the words the love of his life just spoke, which was embarrassing to admit, but impossible not to see. Anyone would have noticed the dopey smile he was wearing.

"Yeah?" he asked, running a hand through his hair because old habits die hard.

"You've changed," Lily observed, choosing not to comment on his unruly hair. "I dunno if it's for the better or the worse, but you have. I dunno, thank Merlin you have deflated some of that air headed ego of yours..."

James's eyebrows shot upward.

"But I know Snape and I aren't friends any more," she continued, finally saying what she wanted to say the most. "So...Potter, do me a huge favor and leave him alone and out of this."

"He...he called you...something inappropriate," James protested though he did not sound as fired and riled up as usual. "How can you stand it? That was your best mate, Evans. How can you just let him get away with it so easily?"

"Potter, you can be such an idiot," Lily said although there was no venom in her voice this time around. "Snape lost one of the most important things we consider on this world. Take one guess what it is."

James looked at her expectantly.

"Friends," Lily finished in a matter-of-fact tone. "Snape chose a different lifestyle than I have."

James opened his mouth to protest, ready to state dully that Snape was still deeply and madly in love with Lily.

"You lose friends in your life because losing them is inevitable," she said and tried not to sound so cynical. not catching on to James's hinting grunts.

* * *

 **Remus9117: You have full permission to yell at me, haha. Sorry. Med school's been kicking me over and over again. I've been so busy.**

 **Padfoot123321: Hmm, I hope you have solved said hunger, haha.**

 **Cole 303: Thank you so much. I am going to find the time to check out all of your stories, as well! You've written so much, it all looks so good! I'm excited to read it.**


	24. For Some Reason

**All rights remain.**

 _Ripping, tearing, straining, writhing, twisting, contorting._

These were just a few of the many agonizing things Remus was feeling. His body was angled and arched downward as he began the transformation. His teeth began to enlarge, growing sharper, more pointed, and more lethal. The littlest things during his transformation was hurting him like mad.

 _Insanity, hunger, aggresion, threatened, blinding, thirst, kill._

The werewolf had unsatiable desires to hunt, kill, and devour prey. Its thirst for crimson red and its hunger for warm flesh mounted heavily on its shoulders, simply consuming its thoughts. It wanted its freedom and being stuck in within the four walls made it agitated.

The werewolf began scratching and biting at the wooden walls like it was attacking the werewolf personally. The struggle brought the attention of three woodland animals, who just so happened to be roaming in the area.

 _Prongs, block the exit!_ Sirius demanded, launching forward. His paws skidded on the sleek floor, running on a thin layer of blood from the werewolf's transformation. _I'll try to get inside Moony's head._

Sirius bounded up, using his powerful hind legs and hindquarters to propel himself off the ground. In one forward leap, he barreled into the side of the werewolf, taking it down with a rather heavy and thick thud, a whine following shortly thereafter.

James stopped and leaned his neck forward to see what he could see. The werewolf and the dog both were on the wooden floor, laying on their sides, wheezing heavily but otherwise unharmed. James nearly let out a breath of relief.

However, all relief was short lived. The werewolf rose back up, furious for being attacked, and launched its own, teeth flashing and claws slashing. Sirius let out a howl of pain as the werewolf's talons scored down his flank, slicing open a wound that part the fur and splattered his blood.

 _Work with me, Moony!_ Sirius yelped, trying to ward away the werewolf with his own set of razor sharp teeth. He laid his ears back and rolled away, dodging a swipe from the werewolf's hefty paws.

The pain was beginning to drain him of his energy, pulling away his judgment and feeling as if he could no longer fight. Sirius stumbled to the wall, his tail instinctively tucked between his legs as he witnessed his opponent drawing nearer, pulling him into a corner.

 _Padfoot! Move!_ Peter shouted, his tail whipping as he tried to get on ground level.

 _Stay here,_ James instructed, tossing his head up and pawing the ground. With a snort, James charged, head bowed. The antlers connected with the werewolf's side, sending a sharp and warning prod, telling the werewolf to back off.

The werewolf growled, angry it was being dominated; however, there was something different. It was as if the werewolf did not recognize the three animals, which was strange because it had before. Something seemed to be impairing its judgment whether it was the tough week previously or the stronger pull of the full moon's force, the werewolf was more dangerous and far more aggressive.

 _Thanks, Prongs,_ Sirius panted, turning to look at Peter. _And thanks for being my eyes. I'd be shreds by now._

Peter's whiskers twitched as he let out a small squeak in response. James nodded and Sirius wagged his tail. In the short few moments the three of them exchanged hasty words, the werewolf was beginning to stir once more. Its eyes were blazing with anger, roaring a challenge to each animal, and bristling its silver fur. The werewolf looked defensive, ready to attack at any given moment.

 _Back off,_ Sirius growled quite literally, showing the werewolf his teeth. He raised his hackles, the fur bristling as a sign of warning. However neither seemed to back down and Sirius feared another brawl.

As predicted, the werewolf launched, locking its teeth on the back of Sirius's neck. It tugged and pulled, creating a horrible pressure against his windpipe. Sirius began to panic, wondering if those paws were truly going to suffocate him. However, he was able to lift his hind legs and kick his attacker off.

The werewolf snarled angrily, daring Sirius for another round of wrestling. However, Sirius was not in any shape to fight anymore and perhaps the werewolf caught a scent of submission from the great, black dog but it seemed to cease its aggressive attacks.

The stag was the first to react, rearing up on his hind legs and forcing the werewolf to take a few steps back. Even when fully extended, the werewolf was still shorter than the stag and certainly had no running chance against the sharp antlers protruding from the head of the stag.

James forced the two to separate but even he was sporting some heavy bruising, cuts, and gashes. The werewolf seemed to have calmed itself down by now that the fight had left it. However, it left Sirius in a tough condition though it was not nearly as bad as previous fights.

 _Reckon we can take him outside?_ Peter asked, scurrying up James's back and resting there. _He could probably use the freedom._

Sirius and James exchanged glances with one another before silently agreeing. Sirius rose to his paws, shaking out his fur and the blood from it, as James slowly approached the werewolf, crouching as low as he could and nuzzled the werewolf encouragingly.

The four of them eventually headed out into the night, the werewolf in between Sirius and James. Peter was atop of James's back, hitching for the ride, and the werewolf was simply enjoying its new found freedom. The werewolf howled to the moon, the ringing sound rather sad but full of melody and meaning.

 _Happy Halloween, you lot,_ James said quietly, buckling his forelegs. In doing so, it allowed him to lay down in the soft patch of swaying grass. _This is the first Halloween we hadn't spent together. We were off doing our own thing._

 _Correction, you were with Evans,_ Sirius pointed out, resting down in the grass beside James. He kneaded the grass with his paws then rested his head down, letting out a huge sigh. _The only thing the werewolf really wants is freedom._

 _And our flesh,_ James pointed out dully. He looked around, raising his head and swiveling it to scan the area.

The werewolf was currently laying in the grass, bored yet very content. It lay on its belly, simply looking up at the sky, eyes reflecting a sense of sanity and calmness, which was rare to find in the creature. Although, it was not always an aggressive animal and people forgot werewplves were people as well.

 _But that's only a part of him,_ Sirius said quietly.

* * *

Watching Remus transform was far worse than battling him for dominance or to keep him from harming himself or others. Remus would twist and writhe. He never stopped screaming until he was about an inch away from unconsciousness. The agony of transforming to or from a werewolf looked absolutely horrid.

James had to look away on several occasions, unable to bear or stomach the sight of his friend is so much agony. It was even worse because they could do nothing about it, only left to sit and witness, praying it would all be over soon.

"Let's get him to Pomfrey," Sirius decided, the first one to change back as well. But unlike Remus's transformation, an Animagus transformation was painless.

"Won't that look really suspicious?" James muttered, pushing his glasses back into place. "I reckon we should help him up the hill then have him walk the rest of the way. We can't risk it, mate, or it would have been all for nothing."

"He can barely walk," Sirius protested, motioning to Remus. "The transformation was tough on him, Prongs, it was bad."

"What if we got Madam Pomfrey to come here then?" Peter asked, breaking up the little argument with his own compromised proposition. "You and I could go or you and Sirius could or Sirius and I could."

James looked at his barely conscious friend with a worried expression, but fortunately, his logic won out and he agreed with Peter's plan; he sent Peter and Sirius up while he stayed behind with Remus, making sure he was all right.

It was a horribly, long, drawling fifteen minutes by the time Madam Pomfrey came round, hurrying forward but without Sirius or Peter; James quickly seized his Invisibility Cloak, thinking his friends would want him hidden if they did not accompany Madam Pomfrey on the way down.

He vanished from sight and quickly disappeared from the spot, leaving no trace of himself around. James took one last look over his shoulder before hurrying away to the castle, deciding it was taken care of by now.

Unfortunately for him (and for Sirius), he was due for Quidditch by now, which he completely forgot about. While some things stuck well in his memory, others flew in one ear and right out the other.

"Shite..."

James sprinted, nonstop, to the Gryffindor Common Room, his lungs threatening to burst on him. He was about ready to pass out by the time he hared up the spiraling staircase to the boys' dormitory, yanking the door open and bursting inside his room, his cloak wrapped around his arm.

"Oi," Sirius said, alarmed at the sudden presence of his friend. "What happened to your arm?"

" _Where is_ your arm?" Peter chimed in, staring at James in his disheveled state.

"Forget my arm," James said frantically, pulling off the cloak to reveal it. "We're missing tryouts for Quidditch, Pads!"

Sirius could not help but burst out laughing, clutching his sides as he began to heave for air. He took one look at James, tried to sober up, then burst out laughing all over again (much to James's annoyance).

"What?" he huffed.

"We told you already," Sirius snickered through his roaring laughter.

"Told me what?" James said impatiently, now giving his friend a half hearted glare.

"Tryouts were rescheduled because Ravenclaw's got themselves a new Keeper they need to train like...pronto," Sirius said, finally sobering up. He sat up straight and motioned to his hair. "The bloke with the dreadlocks. I dunno who that is, but he's a second year or a third year. Point is, he's bloody young but wicked talented in the game."

James frowned, his eyebrows raising at the (rather unpleasant) news.

"Ravenclaw's got someone good?" he asked, wrinkling his nose. "Well, shite, Paddy! Who do we have? Everyone we had left."

Sirius snorted, rolling his eyes and Peter did not seem the least interested in their conversation anymore, deciding it was not worth the trouble of trying to figure out who was who and who was doing what.

"Dunno, don't really care," Sirius said then lifted his hand, a grin on his face. "Get all new people on the team, mate. The Gryffindor Quidditch team could use some...variety. We've been getting the same people on the team."

"Thank Emmanuel for that," James said in his defense but he nodded in agreement, deciding it was time to reconsider the priorities. "Reckon we could get some good players, too?"

"Compared to Ravenclaw's new bloke, I dunno," Sirius said earnestly, shrugging. "Heard he's the son of a retired international Quidditch player. His mum played in the Quidditch World Cup a few years ago."

James groaned, throwing himself on his bed.

"Jacqui's gone, Harvey's quitting," he listed in his head. "Vitani's gone..."

"So what if some of our original members aren't giving it a go this term," Sirius said, trying to sound more optimistic about their chances. He knew James wanted to win that cup badly and so far, they did not have much luck. "Bet there are loads better this year."

James just groaned, but at least he did not disagree.

* * *

Remus opened his eyes blearily, agitated the blinding light was the first thing in his vision. But as he began to clear it with rapid and consecutive blinking, he began to bring the rest of the world into focus, his gaze landing on his feet covered by the Hospital Wing bed covers. He looked at the tonics and potions Madam Pomfrey whipped up for him after the rough night. And then he saw Lily Evans sitting at his bedside.

"Blimey!" he gasped, realizing the presence after a double take. "Lily, how long have you been here?"

"About an hour," Lily said, sounding relieved to see her friend awake and responsive.

"You should have slapped me awake or something," Remus groaned, fighting to sit up. He went to reach for the tonic but Lily gave him a helping hand. "I'm sorry for making you wait."

"Nonsense," Lily chided lightly, handing him the tonic and helping him sit up better. "Madam Pomfrey let me stay as long as I didn't wake you. That was...that was the deal, which I wasn't going to beak regardless. Anyway, I was worried about you."

Remus looked up at her with his eyebrows risen upward.

"I...I overheard Potter talking about the rough night you had with your transformation," Lily confessed, hanging her head at the prospect of having to admit she was close enough to James to be able to eavesdrop on his conversation. "Well, he called it your 'furry little problem' in company."

"Ah, yes," Remus said though frowned thoughtfully. "I...truthfully can't remember much from last night. I dunno if that is a good or bad thing, though I don't know if I even want to know."

Lily sighed, placing a hand atop of his, trying to mollify his churning concern.

"You need to rest most importantly," she said firmly.

Remus snorted, his fingers twitching a bit underneath her own hand. He checked the analog clock hanging against the wall, seeing it was already close to the afternoon.

"Bugger, I can't stay in here much longer. I've got loads to do," Remus groaned with irritation, drumming his fingers against the bed railing.

"You won't get out of here if you make a big production and strain yourself, Remus," Lily pointed out calmly, her eyes glimmering.

"Right, right," he muttered, leaning back for emphasis. "Did you enjoy the feast?"

"It was all delicious. It was really unfortunate you couldn't make it," Lily said with a ghost of a smile. "The food was excellent this term."

"And the potatoes?" Remus prompted. "Better than last year?"

"The same," Lily compromised, smiling warmly at him. "You won't believe it, but Frank's already thinking about proposing to Alice."

She winced a bit as she suddenly became aware of her words, taking a sneak peak for Remus's reaction, which was completely neutral if not happy.

"I keep forgetting you and Alice used to see each other," she said apologetically.

"I fancy no one, not even Alice," Remus stated simply and even smiled reassuringly.

Lily smiled back, glad to see her friend still had a good spirit. The two conversed a little while longer before Madam Pomfrey came out from her office, summoned by the noise of talking voices. She already had several tonics in her hands and floating around her and had a yellowish vial already shoved into Remus's hands.

"Drink up," she said briskly, setting down the rest of the vials on the nightstand beside the bed. "We have to get you feeling well enough today to get back on your feet."

Remus looked up at Madam Pomfrey from over the rim of the untouched healing potion. He was suspicious of the color and the foul stench emitted from the potion. He also thought Madam Pomfrey was over exaggerating his weariness.

"I really am not that bad," he protested, trying to wriggle his way out of drinking the foul liquid. "I'm sure precaution's fine but it's really been a pretty easy full moon."

"Nonsense," Madam Pomfrey tsked, shaking her head in disagreement. "It has been very hard on you and I could tell from your paleness and peakiness you were struggling this month. There is nothing to hide or be ashamed of, Mr. Lupin."

"I'm not," Remus insisted, quickly jumping to his own self defense. "I'm just...making a suggestion."

However, Madam Pomfrey seemed to have no intention of letting Remus talk her out.

* * *

The city seemed asleep, the lights were dimmed, the streets were more barren than usual, the bustling people even seemed to move slower. There were less murmured conversations; the water lapped lazily at the shore, the river hardly making a ripple in the water's surface.

"Master," a woman breathed, staring at the water's reflection, her eyes never leaving it. "Master, I have found you a new servant, Master. Pray, he will come of use. Trust him in your ranks, My Lord...his blood is worthy."

"Do not mistake me for a fool, Bellatrix," the cold voice replied, the water rippling again as if someone tossed an invisible stone into the river. "This boy's blood means nothing to me and is worth the dirt in which we step on."

Bellatrix bowed her head, her hair falling into her face and blocking her view of her master. Something about the Lord captured and peaked her interest, wondering what could such a sacred wizard could do in so much time. On those rare occasions, Bellatrix did fear of her master's ideas, afraid they may too bold too quickly. She, herself, was having trouble trusting Snape as it was, even if he was her cousin's friend.

"He is a potioneer," Bellatrix said quietly, her head still bowed and her stance still showing the obvious signs of submission. "Severus Snape could also be our mentor for the defensive team."

"Nonsense, Bellatrix," Voldemort murmured, is voice seemed far away and distant, cold as ice shards to the soul. "But I hope to see this potioneer before I consider him equal in my ranks. After all, the Dark Marks are the thing in which I appreciate the most."

"My Lord?" Bellatrix asked, her eyebrows knitting in confusion.

I cannot hand them to just anyone," Voldemort said and looked out the window once more, finished talking to people. "We will see what true talent this boy has, Bellatrix. But for now, we must be patient."

"I don't understand, My Lord," Bellatrix whimpered, flinching and shying away when Voldemort neared her.

"I swear, Bella, I wonder if there truly is a brain in your head," Voldemort murmured cruelly. His red eyes turned to bore into her dark ones. "The Ministry is not the only one after my ranks. It seems as if Dumbledore has taken matters into his own hands."

Bellatrix bit her lip.

"He is hardly a threat, right?" she inquired softly.

"He is just enough," Voldemort said though mostly to himself. "And someone has to cease his attempts to thwart me."

Bellatrix held her breath, her heart pounding in her chest, slamming against her rib cage. She tried to keep up but sometimes she did worry if she was cut out like Walburga had once told her.

"Inside the ranks," Voldemort said, a small smile forming on his thin and pale lips. "Perhaps your boy will be of use after all..."

* * *

 **Padfoot123321: I hope you enjoyed and I can't wait to hear from you again!**

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 **Cole303: My mistake, I was looking at your favorited stories. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this story.**

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	25. You're My Irreplaceable Light

**All rights remain.**

"Still hellbent on that bloody map idea?"

James scowled, glaring at Sirius with an attempt at anger. Sirius, however, was unfazed by the look and merely grinned, tapping his nose in a way that seemed to mock and infuriate James.

"What map idea?" Remus asked lazily from where he was sitting. As always, he had a book in his hands, eyes scanning the page as he read the content, smiling sometimes whenever he read something he particularly enjoyed. "What is Padfoot talking about?"

"Are you even sure you want to know?" Peter snorted, kicking back on the couch and watching the flames of the fire flicker and play. "He's got this mad idea."

Remus looked at James, who refused to look at him in any other way than glaring. He then looked at Sirius, who could not control his snickering. Then he looked at Peter, who merely shrugged.

"I dunno what the map plan is really," he said, throwing his hands up.

Remus, annoyed he was kept out of the loop, glared at his friends and slammed his book shut, a sign he meant business.

"Okay, so I had this idea after you told me a group or Slytherins were staring at a blank wall," James said, sitting up straight and turning so he could face Remus. "So I got this idea of a map that can track everyone's path."

"That's...I dunno how to even begin that," Remus scoffed, unsure of how to respond. It was never an intention of his to insult, unless he really did want to (which was rare). "What do you reckon we do?"

"Cast a charm on the map," James said, thinking outside the box and rather quite randomly. "We could...like...I dunno, there's got to be like..books int he library about tracking spells and map incantations or whatever."

"What's got you in e motive?" Remus inquired, genuinely curious to know what compelled his friend to make such a wild decision.

"Ever since the full moon we were caught by Snape."

He spoke quietly, almost as if he was afraid to admit such a thing.

"What'd you reckon?" Sirius asked, gauging for Remus's reply.

"I don't think you three will worry much about it tonight," Remus replied, much to their individual surprise. "The seventh years smuggled some firewhiskey from The Three Broomsticks. I reckon you three want to hang out tonight? The outing is down in the Boathouse."

James and Sirius exchanged bewildered looks, shocked Remus knew about this apparent party before they did. Since when did that happen?

"Yeah, I'm all in," Sirius said at once, feeling himself getting fired up for a restless night. "I ruddy love parties."

"Oi, wonder if Evans is going to be there," James said, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. "If she is, I'm call her."

Remus was about to point out that no one can call dibs on anyone, but he kept the comment to himself, knowing it would do him no good regardless. He, instead, began to pack away his book and get up.

"Oi, where are you going?" Sirius asked, his smile fading slightly when he spotted Remus in the middle of his departure. He looked at the sixth year werewolf like living was some kind of taboo thing. "What are you doing?"

"Going up?" Remus said in more of a question of confusion, considering he was already facing the spiral staircase leading up to their dormitory. "Why? Where else would I be going and no offense, Paddy, but why do you care?"

"You're not going to the party?" Peter asked, craning his neck to catch a glimpse of his friend. "Or are you coming later?"

"This is the first time the dormitory will be empty," Remus said, genuinely sounding eager about it. He looked at the other book in his arm fondly and patted the cover of it. "I've got to get reading and I'm going to enjoy my time alone for a bit actually."

Sirius and James, who were both extroverts to the core, simply could not understand why Remus would rather be alone than with other people. While they knew what an introvert was, they still could not wrap their heads around their preferences. It was a feat they could not fathom.

"If that's what you prefer," Sirius said, throwing his hands up. "Though I dunno why you wouldn't want to head down for an hour or two, mate. It wouldn't hurt you to make an appearance."

"After all," James chimed in, deciding he wanted to add his own input. Sometimes James's input was never the best input or advice. "You're a Gryffindor, Moony, whether you like it or not."

"You've got it all wrong," Remus explained, keeping his patience in check. "I love being a Gryffindor but tonight's the night I want to get some of my work finished. I've got loads after the full moon so I've got to play catch up."

Peter snickered.

Remus raised his eyebrow.

Sirius rolled his eyes.

James pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Catch up...ketchup..." Peter sniggered to himself.

"For Merlin's sake," Remus said in an exasperated tone.

"Anyway," James muttered, waving his hand so he could bring the attention back to the conversation on topic. "Feel free to come down whenever if you ever feel like it throughout the night."

"I didn't even know Gryffindor was planning anything," Sirius muttered and folded his arms over his chest defensively. "As a party enthusiast, I, Sirius Black, should be entitled to the news of an upcoming social event _not_ through the grapevine!"

Remus rolled his eyes albeit fondly, smiling ever softly as he shifted his book to his other arm.

"Night, you lot," he said in farewell, deciding he was tired enough anyway.

James, Peter, and Sirius chorused their goodbyes and rose to their feet, moving towards the portrait hole.

While they exited the Gryffindor Common Room, leaving it barren and rather depressingly quiet, Remus went up to his room, feeling a little sad he was missing out on it. But, like he convinced himself and his friends, he had things to do and he could not waste time doing other things.

Remus trekked up the stairs, bringing the silence. It would take a lot for him to admit it, but he didn't like the silence all that much. It was eerie and lonely, it left him feeling like there was a bit of a gap. Remus sighed, forcing himself to get his life together and pull himself together, mentally slapping himself. He was responsible and he had things to do, imperative things.

The sixth year plopped down on the edge of his bed, looking around the dormitory. Frank, Peter, James, and Sirius were all at the outing, which left the dormitory empty (just like he said it would be).

Without allowing himself to think much on the subject of loneliness, he cracked open his textbooks, beginning all of his essays he should not have crammed into the weekend. He definitely regretted that earlier decision.

The frosty air bit and chilled him to the bone but it kept his sluggish mind awake and prevented him from dozing off. He purposely kept the windows open but he was shivering by the time he was halfway done with his first sentence.

He wrapped himself in his blankets on his bed but he was not able to focus, heat or frostbite. With a sigh, Remus lay back down on the bed, staring at the ceiling and folding his hands restlessly.

"Great," he muttered to himself, rubbing his eyes. Playing anti-social, responsible friend, was no fun. It was boring, lonely, and too quiet.

With another sigh and huff combined, he threw his covers off and scrambled out of his bed, forgetting all about his books and essays. He was going to the party and quite frankly did not care about much other than not being alone tonight.

 **.oOo.**

"I don't give a damn!" James said through his good nature laughter, rolling his eyes. He held a goblet of firewhiskey in his slender fingers, grinning at what Frank and Alice were telling him. "Tell Professor Slughorn to bugger off."

Alice and Frank laughed, recalling the time they were yelled at for snogging in the corner of the corridor (an empty one, mind you). He had given them detention, but only Frank went to the detention, Alice refusing because she had cleaned out the Infirmary and deciding that was punishment enough.

"That's what I said," Alice said and smiled widely. "Merlin's beard, he's on everyone like that."

"Typical Slytherin," James said, shaking his head dismally. He took another long draw from the bottle when he heard a slight cough from behind. Whipping around, he spotted Lily Evans.

"Course you would generalize," she said offhandedly, not seemingly in the mood to be overly critical of everything James was doing. She seemed rather docile tonight and she held no bottle or goblet. "Where's Remus, Potter?"

"He couldn't make it; he had loads he wanted to do," James said, half truthfully. And though he would not admit it out loud, he still had a hard time fathoming the fact Lily knew Remus's secret. "Remus stayed in tonight, sorry."

"He was supposed to meet me on Prefect Patrol last night," Lily huffed, folding her arms over her chest. "Someone didn't show up last night and I ended up doing it alone. That's like...the third time in the past thirty days!"

"Sorry, Evans, that was my fault," Sirius said, coming up behind her and slipping past her. "I was keeping Remus in his dorm for something. It's not important now but it had to do something with my brother and I'm guessing you don't want all the details."

Lily sighed, her hands falling from her hips and her shoulders sagging.

"I get it," she said earnestly and began walking away. "Well, if you see Remus before I do, tell him I've got a message for him."

James and Sirius exchanged surprised glances, not to mention curious ones. However, they did not get the opportunity to ask for she was already beginning to walk away, off to go chat with others at the gathering.

"Wonder what that's about," Sirius said, being the first to break the silence.

"Wonder what?" came a voice from their left.

Both Sirius and James whipped around in shock, unable to keep the surprise out of their expressions. Frightened by the new presence, they whirled around and spilled half their drinks in the process. But they came face to face with their friend, Remus, who made such a big deal of staying in tonight. He was wearing his Hogwarts uniform (or part of it), which meant he did not even bother to change.

White button down, red and gold tie, the uniform slacks, Remus looked a little awkward amongst the rest of the students who were in casual wear. However, he did not seem to mind.

"Evans was looking for you," Sirius said, jabbing his thumb over his shoulder. "She's peeved about you missing Prefect Patrol for the third time in thirty days...or something like that. I dunno, she just told us she had a message for you."

"Okay, yeah," Remus said ad scratched his head awkwardly. "I'll...go see what she wants."

"Oi, hang o, Moony," James said, stopping Remus with a hand to the chest. "What make you decide to come down?"

"I...finished everything early," Remus lied, not wanting to admit he just got lonely and felt a little left out. "So I decided to see if I could find you in the fray, which I evidently did. Why, Prongs? Were you expecting a specific answer?"

"No, just curious," James said, releasing Remus. "Go find Evans and tell her to go on a date with me tomorrow."

Remus rolled his eyes though fondly and hurried off to find his feisty friend; it was not hard to spot Lily among the crowd. She had flaming red hair, which was easy to spot, and she was wearing a white shirt over her Hogwarts uniform skirt.

"Lily?" Remus asked softly, not wanting to interrupt a conversation if there was an important one going on. "You said you wanted to talk?"

Lily turned around and smiled as she snaked her arms around his warm neck, taking a moment to savor the embrace. She pulled back and took a long look at her friend, taking another moment to appreciate him.

"It's Fenrir Greyback," she said softly, pulling Remus away from the rest of the crowd so they had no risk of being overheard. "You know...well, when I was on my way down, I heard Professor McGonagall, Professor Dumbledore, and Professor Slughorn talking about...his movements."

"Wait, what?" Remus said, completely shocked by this piece of news.

"They say he's been on the move and the most recent place he stopped by was your home...or your aunt's," Lily said fretfully. "Professor McGonagall's worried about your safety this summer."

" _My_ safety," Remus said incredulously. "What about my aunt's? What about Aunt Beatrice? Is she okay? Is she hurt?"

His heart was beginning to race, his face already draining of color, paling rapidly. His vision swam, sick and wracked with absolute fear.

"So far he didn't actually go _go_ to your house, but Professor McGonagall suggested a warning and a shield for your place," she said, frowning deeply. She, too, was concerned but also worried for Remus. "I didn't want to tell your mates in case they took it the wrong way but you needed to know unfiltered before they'd tell you."

Remus could not believe what he was hearing and he did not want to. Without another word, he went over to grab himself a goblet of firewhiskey, deciding he would mull this over at a more appropriate time and when he was not in such an emotional state of fear and worry (not to mention guilt).

"Reckon I should move out?" Remus murmured, looking at his wristwatch.

Lily's eyes widened at the suggestion as she reached out to grasp his wrist.

"What do you mean?"

"I'm just...I'm a dangerous burden to everyone I'm with," Remus sighed. "Literally. I can't put my aunt at risk because I'm boarding at her place. I've got to do something before one of my enemies does."

"Remus, what _can_ you do?" Lily breathed, unsure of what to make of this new idea. "There's only so much since you're under age."

"I dunno if I can even wait that long, Lily," Remus said, thinking quick. His head swam with the mounting ideas flurrying about in his mind. "I...I'll never forgive myself if something happened to my aunt. I love her so much and I can't risk her life."

"Remus, that's very noble of you," Lily began, trying to find the right words to use.

"No, it's not noble, it's just being considerate," Remus said sternly, setting down his goblet and folding his arms over his chest. "It's called being a part of a family. I won't risk mine. That's something I just won't do. But I need your help."

Lily held her breath, fearful of what was coming next.

"Okay," she said slowly, cautiously, and worriedly.

"I need help...over the Christmas holidays...to get underground," he declared.

"What?" Lily shrieked shrilly, her eyes widening comically. "You must be joking, Remus! What for?"

Remus just turned away for a moment, looking at his shoes and forcing the tears back. He refused to cry, refused to back away from his formulating plan, refused to give into his own selfish fear. He refused to fall to his faults.

"Please, Remus, talk to me," Lily implored, suddenly the lifted spirits of the party forgotten and certainly gone. "What's got you in such a state?"

Remus rubbed his arm awkwardly, pulling himself together inwardly. He raised his gaze for a moment, catching himself staring right back at himself in Lily's emerald eyes, bright as fire.

"I'm..."

He paused, unsure if he wanted to tell Lily about Dumbledore's forming organization working against the rise of terror. He promised James he would be careful to who he would expel this information to and he was certain he meant not telling anyone without his consent (after all, it was James's idea to join when they came of age anyway). However, Remus trusted Lily and since James was enamored with Lily, it was a risk he would be willing to take.

"Remus?" she asked again, breaking his train of thought.

Remus grabbed her wrist and dragged her out of the Boathouse, deciding he was going to tell her where he knew they could not be overheard. When he was far away enough and he deemed it safe, he pulled Lily closer to him so he could talk to her. Lily never asked any questions about his strange behavior, putting her trust into him, but she looked as confused as she felt.

"Professor Dumbledore...is starting an organization, right? Well...the Ministry isn't doing anything, so Professor Dumbledore wanted to make an organization to try and stop...the rising threats," Remus breathed, barely speaking above a whisper. "We found out...one day and James has been hellbent on joining ever since he figured it out."

Much to his surprise, much to his shock, and much to his disbelief, Lily's eyes began to fill with tears. Her hand went to cover her mouth as she stifled a gasp. Times like these made him wish he could know what she was thinking.

"Frank wants in, too."

 **.oOo.**

Lily's heart seemed to stop right then and there; she felt her knees buckle and her vision swim before her eyes. She forced herself to remain standing but her heart was filled with dread and despair, wondering what on Earth could be happening in the world that Dumbledore was willing to make an army of barely-of-age wizards and witches.

"No, no," Remus said, seemingly reading her mind. "Dumbledore wouldn't let us join until we were of age...even then he seemed reluctant."

Lily bit the inside of her lip, feeling the tears splash against her cheeks. She could only see the future, the darkness, the shadows, and the inevitable deaths filling her heart with grief.

She looked at Remus and felt herself going weak once more.

"Remus," she said, gripping his tie and pressing herself into him. "Remus, you...I can't...you're joining, too, aren't you?"

Remus looked at Lily sadly but he smiled ever so slightly; it was a hollow and sad smile, one filled with invisible and silent tears and sobs. But he forced himself to look okay on the outside.

"Where my friends go, I go," Remus breathed, pulling her in close and enclosing her safely and securely in his arms. A head taller than her, he was able to rest his cheek on her forehead while he held her close to his heart. "Only another reason I need your help getting me underground."

Lily let out a strangled sob, unable to imagine the death of her dearest friend; her quisling mind brought her to the thought of being unable to wrap her arms around this warm torso ever again made her tears flow more freely.

"Lily, I don't want you to cry," Remus breathed, feeling his own fear bubbling up. "Please don't cry over me."

Lily clung to Remus like a lifeline, not ready to say goodbye to him. She could feel herself falling apart, her world. Her anchor was beginning to let her go, letting her drift, letting her wander.

"What if I lose you?" she breathed, wrapping her arms around his neck and burying her face into the crook of it. "Remus, you're my best friend. My very best friend. I can't lose you. I'm losing everyone."

"You won't," Remus reassured but that was all he said. "I promise you won't lose me."

 _Not really, not ever_...

* * *

November 13th, Lily was sitting in the Common Room for hours, her hands twisting nervously in her lap. She kept flexing and relaxing her hands, which kept turning into fists due to her anxiety.

It had been three days since the party, and on Monday, she was waiting for James to come back from Quidditch tryouts. Usually she would have been there to watch (to support Gryffindor) but she could not bring herself to head down.

She must have been waiting for two or three hours for the team to return, but time seemed to be a thing of the past to her now. Everything during that weekend had shaken her badly, so badly it concerned her friends.

The portrait door opened and Lily leaped to her feet, smoothing down her skirt and rubbing her hands together nervously. She folded her arms over her chest as she watched the Gryffindor house heading into the Common Room.

In the middle of the crowd, she spotted James Potter and Sirius Black, laughing heartily about something they must have said. Their eyes looked jovial and their spirits up but Lily was worried sick about confronting them or one of them.

James stopped laughing and listened to something Sirius was telling him. Lily could not make out the comment but suddenly his smile vanished and his eyes turned a bit more somber.

"Potter!"

Lily found her voice calling out to the bespectacled, arrogant boy but she did not even seem to remember opening her mouth to call out for him. She put away her embarrassment and cleared her throat.

"Evans?" James asked, eyebrows drawing in due to his confusion. "Yeah?"

Both he and Sirius broke off from the crowd and sauntered over to Lily, their broomsticks in their hands. James, of course, had that windswept look that Lily despised the most but she could not even bring herself to make any retorts about it or how stupid it was whenever James ran his hand through his hair.

"I need to talk to you...both," she said, swallowing the lump rising in her throat. "Please..."

James looked at her, trying to suppress the expression of surprise.

 _Did Remus really talk about him to Lily that weekend?_

"Sure," Sirius said with more ease.

James's tongue seemed tied.

"Potter?"

"Y-yeah," he stammered.

Lily sighed and looked around, her eyes scanning the busy Common Room.

"Not here though, can we go elsewhere?" she inquired, wrapping her arms around herself.

Sirius and James followed Lily towards the portrait hole. Lily was hyper aware of the number of stares they were receiving from the other Gryffindors. It was an odd sight to see Lily, Potter, and Black all together, speaking civilly. However, she put the things of the past behind her once more and led the two boys into the empty corridor and down to the stairs, sitting in the middle of the staircase in case they moved.

"What's this, Evans?" Sirius asked, sitting down next to her casually.

James sat on her other side, setting his broomstick down.

"I...Remus and I were talking on Saturday at the party," she began, unsure of how she wanted to exactly word this. "And...he told me loads."

"We know you know about his furry little problem," Sirius said, waving a hand.

"No," Lily said patiently though she could not keep eye contact with either boy. "I..."

She sighed.

"Remus asked me to help him do something..." Lily said and finally forced herself to look up at James and Sirius both. "He wants to go underground."

"What?" Sirius gasped, his eyebrows drawing down in shock and fear "What for? What's this about?"

Lily ran a hand over her eyes then through her hair.

"I overheard Professor McGonagall and Professor Dumbledore talking about Fenrir Greyback and his constant stalking at his home...where his Aunt Beatrice lives. I thought Remus had the right to know since it was about him after all...but he went all mad on me and concocted this mad plan about leaving his aunt and living underground."

Lily's heart was jumping recalling these horrible memories.

"He wanted me to help him get underground with the rest of the...werewolves," she continued.

James and Sirius looked at her like she grew another head but she could not waste her time explaining herself.

"Remus didn't want me to tell you lot," she said hastily. "But I couldn't... _not_ tell you, you know?"

"We need to tell Peter," James said at once to Sirius.

"What else did Remus say?" Sirius asked Lily.

There was a moment of silence (or rather many moments of silence). The tension was choking her and that familiar lump in her throat began to rise, threatening to break her voice and bring the tears back to her eyes.

"Remus told me about...the organization Dumbledore is starting," Lily breathed quietly, barely speaking above a whisper. "And...who's all joining..."

With her emotions spiraling out of control and her world falling apart, she first wrapped herself in her arms, drawing into herself, but the next second, her lips were crashing against James's, her nose brushing his and her fingers lifting James's glasses out of the way so she could meld herself within him.

Sirius just sat there, aghast.

* * *

 **Yep, my name's Quinn for anyone who was wondering, haha.**

 **Moony123321: I would love to read your work! That'd be such a gift.**

 **1monster2: Sorry for the cliffhanger and the cliffhanger of this chapter, haha. I hope you enjoy and I hope this peaks suspension in this story.**

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	26. A Heart that rots with Envy

**All rights remain.**

 **Prat means idiot.**

"Oi!" Sirius bellowed, snapping his fingers in front of James's face.

Monday night, close to midnight (more specifically), Remus, Peter, and Frank were all shoved on James's bed. Sirius was standing in front of his friend, still trying to get his friend's attention.

"For Merlin's sake, Prongs," Sirius said incredulously. "What's gotten into you?"

"She...Lily snogged me," James said, his fingers coming up to touch his lips. "She snogged me."

Sirius rolled his eyes, wondering if that was the sixteenth or seventeenth time hearing that tonight. None of the sixth year Gryffindor boys were getting any sleep with James still love-stricken. Not to mention, Sirius was there when it all happened.

Remus and Frank were sharing the last few bottles of firewhiskey from the party, passing it between the two of them. Peter was half asleep, still tired from the exhaustion of the social life. Sirius was annoyed with James's absent mind and James was absolutely falling head over heels for Lily all over again.

"I swear, I'm going to pass out before you get his attention," Remus said, sharing another swig of the bottle. "You can have the rest, Frank."

James had a very dopey smile on his face, his eyes shaped like hearts, melting his insides for all the right reasons. _Lily Evans had kissed James Potter._ James could not seem to stop replaying the moment in his head.

"Did you see that, Paddy?" he said with that same lopsided smile. "She snogged me...for real."

He closed his eyes and leaned against the headboard of his bed. There he was, sitting casually on Lily's right, when he suddenly felt her soft lips on his mouth, her arms around his neck, then the cold air drifting towards him when she pulled back and retreated.

In actuality, the entire kiss had lasted for about four seconds before she jerked away, apologizing like mad. She looked flustered, but James was in too much shock to notice anything else really.

"Common sense," Sirius said, tapping his temple with a little scoff. "It looks like Prongs lost it."

Remus was still trying to juggle this as much as James was. Peter and Frank were both dicussing the situation or circumstance that made Lily want to kiss James. The sixth years all huddled around James, trying to get the most details out of the story.

"So, what gives?" Sirius asked yet again. That must have been his third or fourth time asking that very same question.

"I thought...I...does she fancy me? Oi, Moony, could you ask her if she fancies me?" James asked, turning his big doe eyes on Remus as he pleaded.

"I'm not asking her that," Remus said with a little scoff and smile. He had a few questions of his own he would have liked answered.

That night, Remus was not the only one restless from the previous day's events. Sirius had been tossing and turning for hours on end, trying to find himself in a more peaceful state of mind but failing to get comfortable. His eyes refused to close and his brain refused to stop replaying the scene behind his eyelids. He stared at the ceiling for a while, falling still and silent, all while trying not to groan and throw the pillow over his face. He rubbed his hands over his eyes wearily, Lily Evans's voice ringing loudly in his ears.

She snogged him, what did that mean?

Did Evans fancy his friend?

Was she playing with his feelings?

What…what would happen to him?

All these questions bumped around in his head, ricocheting off his skull and rattling around in his brain. Giving up, Sirius stopped trying to find a peaceful slumber and silently slipped on his shoes and borrowed James's Invisibility Cloak. Heading out, he had places to go.

Down the spiral stairs, through the Common Room, out the portrait hole, down a flight of stairs...Sirius was busy trying to find Remus and Lily, who took the Prefect Patrol this evening. He kept his eyes peeled and his ears alert for any signs of the two. However, if they were hiding, they were doing an excellent job.

"Dunno, if I did too well on the essay," came a quiet voice. It was the voice of Remus Lupin. Sirius had found them.

"Rubbish, I bet you did just fine," Lily said reassuringly, always there to support him. "Besides, your...timing was not the best either."

"Evidently," Remus said with a chuckle. He rubbed the back of his neck and sighed. "One more thing, Lils."

Since when did he call her Lils? Sirius asked himself. Clearly Remus and Lily were closer friends than he thought.

"Yeah?"

"Why?"

There was silence, which allowed Sirius to move in closer.

Remus tried to look at her but his gaze would flicker to and from her own. He had a hard time trying to find the right words for the question but he ended up asking the question with the wrong word.

"Do you fancy James?" Remus breathed, his heart skipping several beats.

"I...have come to appreciate him more," Lily replied softly, leaving no room for any hesitation or doubt. "I have noticed what he has been doing."

Remus lifted his eyebrow because there were honestly many things James did to try and win her affection and he was curious to know what she noticed.

"His deflated ego," Lily supplied, wrapping her arms around herself. "I know about what happened at the Whomping Willow, Remus. Sev...Snape told me."

Remus paled visibly, not sure if he wanted anyone else to know he had almost turned into a murderer or infection-spreading monster.

"Remus, for one, it was not your fault. Secondly, I think it...was a wake-up call for Potter. I think he finally came to realize life is no game," Lily said, trying to find the right words to describe the sixth year pureblood.

"I honestly think he figured that out when he saw me crying over my dead mum," Remus deadpanned. "Just a thought…"

Lily sighed, deciding she knew better than to argue with a point that good. She scratched her head awkwardly, pulling her hair over one shoulder. There was a bit of a stretch of silence in which both of them refused to look at one another.

"So...what..." Remus said, trailing off with uncertainty.

Lily looked up at him expectantly but she looked away. It was evident she was struggling with not only her words but her emotions.

"He isn't as bad as he seems, Lils," Remus said and offered her a half smile. "He really is trying….for you."

Lily could not help but smile back ever so slightly.

* * *

Sirius was sitting on his bed, sipping from the bottle and listening to James rant on and on about how kissing Evans was like kissing a thousand tiny angels. And as much he didn't want to hear it, he was hearing it anyway.

"Blimey, it was the longest bloody thirty seconds of my life, Padfoot! She was fecking snogging me! It wasn't even forced. Do you reckon she is finally starting to fancy me?" James breathed, speaking rapidly and absentmindedly, his lips still in that stupid lopsided smile. "What do you think, mate?"

"I dunno, Prongsie, love is strange," Sirius said, playing along but sounding rather bored with the conversation (since he was very bored with the conversation). "Play the cards on the table, mate, all of them."

"I haven't shagged anyone...meaningfully."

"Merlin, now we're from snogging to shagging?" Sirius said, his instincts firing up to protest. "That's excessive, James. For one fecking snogging session, this doesn't suddenly turn it into wedding bells and aisle walking."

"But it could be," James pointed out.

"I think what Sirius is trying to say is...there is more to focus on than just Lily. I think he's hinting at the whole...organization Dumbledore is starting," Frank interjected before Sirius would lose his temper completely (bless his soul). "Right, Sirius?"

"Just like...one of the many things," Sirius muttered, folding his arms over his chest then went to grab for the bottle.

"Take it easy," Frank said and frowned, looking at the two for a brief moment. "This is what James always wanted...since like first year. Can't we just take a moment to appreciate it?"

"I'm just worried about you, James," Sirius said, addressing his friend with an imploring tone. "I'm worried you might be getting your hopes up over something that might not happen."

James looked at his hands, which were folded in his lap.

"It's worth the good feeling," James insisted.

"You're not the type of bloke to give a girl your heart forever," Sirius tried, running out of ideas to talk his friend away from the girl he did not trust.

He had seen James fall apart every time one of Evans's comments really hit home. He was there to pick up a broken James and put him back together piece by piece. Sometimes it would take a few hours and other times it took a few days. Sirius was there for his friend for it all, which allowed him to see how dangerous the entire ordeal could be.

 _Who could blame him for being skeptical?_

"Right...well, I'll see you lot later," he muttered, getting up and tossing the bottle aside, lettig some of it spill without a care. "See you then."

He did not give his friend an opportunity to respond, he did not let Frank protest, and he did not let Peter follow. He slammed the dormitory door shut and sprinted down to the Common Room, tearing through it with tears welling in his eyes. He hared out into the corridors and raced away, heading for the outdoors when those ceilings became too constricting.

He didn't quite know why he was crying or why he felt like he was on the verge of losing his best mate. He didn't know why he suddenly started disliking Lily Evans. Everything was turning into a blur, he was feeling again, he was letting everyone know something was getting to him, he was becoming emotional again.

He burst outside, glad to breathe in that icy air. Sirius yanked off his Gryffindor tie, throwing it on the ground and bursting forth as a dog, his eyes gleaming and his teeth bared, flashing white and jagged.

Anger tore through him like a wildfire. It was rampaging through him, sending his vision into a blurry mess and his thoughts were impossible to control. He was jealous, full of rage, but he was (most of all) despaired. The idea of losing his friend to a girl broke his heart, destroyed what he thought was a better future. He was a fool for letting his emotions get so out of hand yet he could not seem to help it.

Just as he was about to turn a different direction, something large and solid very unexpectedly stopped in front of him, forcing Sirius to skid to an ungraceful halt. Angry, Sirius growled but he was instantly surprised into silence to see a very familiar stag.

The stag began to shrink down in size, falling on two legs instead of four. Sirius ceased his aggression and changed back to his original form, unsure of what to make of the oncoming situation. However, he hardly had any time to think it over for James was locking him in place in a tight embrace.

"Damn it, Sirius," James said. He sounded oddly close to tears. "How dare you walk out on me before I have a chance to explain myself."

Sirius groaned and tried pushing James away. Personal was not something he handled well and often put it off with sarcasm and witty banter.

"If you don't mind, can you not suffocate me?" he joked. "And I went for a bloody run, James. I didn't come back from the dead."

As much as Sirius wanted to pull this entire thing off as a joke, James was not having it.

"I'm sorry. I should have been more considerate about you and Evans," James said, placing a finger under Sirius's chin and tilting his head so he would be forced to look at him. "Sirius, you know you are everything to me and our friendship means more to me than the world. You know that, mate. I thought you did at least."

"No, I do," Sirius said in a smaller voice, his eyes cast downward. He did not want to make eye contact with James in case he broke and started spilling everything. "You just said it, Prongs. Our friendship means everything. It means everything to me, too. And...I know how Evans hurt you in the past."

James gripped Sirius in a tighter one armed embrace, trying to shove all of the unsaid emotions he felt into the gesture.

"I'm just worried about you getting your hopes up," Sirius said and paused. "Not you keep putting yourself in a bloody cycle every single time with her."

"Tell me, Sirius," James prompted gently.

"You pine after her, get her attention, get yelled at, get sad, then do it all over again," Sirius said, shaking his head dismally. "You keep hurting yourself. Those few seconds of her attention aren't worth the pain that comes after...well, it shouldn't be."

James looked at Sirius deeply, understanding the words from his friend. He knew it was unhealthy and he knew it caused others pain as well.

"What are you going to do, James?" Sirius asked softly.

"I dunno," James sighed dejectedly. "I don't fecking know what I'm going to do."

Sirius looked down.

"But I want you to remember that you're my best mate and that I love you so much. You're my brother in all but blood. I love you."

James extracted the red and gold tie from his pocket and slung it around Sirius's neck. He looped the end, tied it together, and pulled it up gently, sliding the knot to the base of Sirius's neck.

"You, Remus, and Peter are the best of friends one can ever ask for."

"Isn't that sweet?"

James and Sirius both jumped at the mocking baby voice.

"Welcome home."

James and Sirius slumped as the white light flashed brightly.

* * *

 **Stay tuned for Part 2**


	27. You Better Watch Out, You Better Not Cry

**All rights remain.**

Sirius felt himself lying somewhere very uncomfortable. The surface beneath his shoulder blades was gritty and rough, making it feel like a hundred tiny, little, dull needles were embedding themselves into his skin. He could feel subtle movement on his left, the rustling of clothes and loose pebbles came to his right. Lifting his head, Sirius dared to take a look around, trying to make something of his strange surroundings.

"James?" he croaked when he did not spot his friend. "James?"

There was a soft groan of pain before James stirred weakly, pushing himself into a hunched over sitting position. Even doubled over and half hidden, Sirius could tell James was sporting a few injuries, including gashes of gushing blood. He tried not to let the panic creep in and settle but he had no idea where he was or what was happening.

"Lookie here, who's awake," chimed a haunting voice. "How's the baby feeling?"

Sirius felt his heart fill with uncontrollable anger. His eyes turned from dark to murderous, the true look a true Black would wear.

"Long time, no see, Bellatrix," he sneered, lifting his head to levely stare at his own cousin. "You missed me so much you kidnapped me here."

Sirius paused his banter and looked around.

"Oi, where is here?"

Bellatrix looked at Sirius through her heavily lidded eyes, her full lips twisting into a half smirk and a half pout. She twirled a piece of her black locks around her wand.

"Ity bity baby," she cooed. "No harm, no harm. Just a word with you, that's all my deary cousin."

Sirius looked absolutely revolted at the idea of exchanging civil words with the deranged woman. However, he feared Bellatrix would do something to James if he opposed.

"Okay," he said slowly, waiting for her to continue.

"You have a traitor in your midst, lovely," Bellatrix said, seemingly unfazed by the way she delivered the news. "But that is not why I'm here."

James listened on silently, pretending he was still mostly unconscious. He stilled himself and forced himself to listen to the sadist.

"Okay?" Sirius said again, straining against his ropes. "Where are we first of all?"

"The caves," Bellatrix replied, looking like she did not have any interest in Sirius's questions. "It's your mum, she wants...she wants you gone or whatever that is supposed to mean."

"Forget it, Bellatrix," Sirius said, straining against the chains again. "Consider me gone. I'll never ruddy talk to her again."

"Right, right, right, right," Bellatrix kept chanting, tapping her wand against her chin. "Right...that's all good and everything but I made her a promise."

Sirius looked at James then back at Bellatrix, his posture tensing visibly. He could feel the burning gaze of his cousin and the worry radiating from his friend.

"Just to ensure...you won't be coming back…"

"What are—"

" _Crucio_ ," Bellatrix sang, twirling her wand and cackling at him. There was no loud cry or blinding light; all she did was simply say the words as casually as can be.

Sirius, on the other hand, felt no pain. He screwed his eyes shut in case, ready to feel the hot knives twisting into his skin, sawing and hacking away at his bones. However, the pain never came. He cracked open one eye and in doing so, listened to his surroundings. Here was merely one noise: screaming. But it was not from him.

"James!" Sirius cried, realization slamming him in the face. It felt like he swallowed a rock and it was caught in his chest. The sight of his friend twisting, arching, contorting, and writhing in agony was unbearable. "Bellatrix, no! No! Bella!"

The use of her old childhood nickname seemed to have impacted her for Bellatrix ceased the curse and turned to face Sirius. For a fraction of a second there seemed to be a flash of recognition and if he was truly feeling bold, he could even argue he saw a bit of sanity and humanity left in his cousin. However, it disappeared.

"This is between you and me, Lestrange. You and me," Sirius demanded, his voice loud and ringing. "So let's keep it that way unless you're a coward and won't fight me. Your choice."

"You really think trying to dissuade me with words is going to work, Sirius?" Bellatrix asked softly, her voice melting into something even sweet. "Honestly?"

"No," Sirius bit, his eyes ablaze with anger. "But maybe it will show you."

"Show me what, blood-traitor?" Bellatrix snorted.

"I'm not alone. I never will be."

Bellatrix rolled her eyes and lifted her wand, forcing Sirius to step closer to her.

"I've got Regulus, Snape, and I'll get you," Bellatrix whispered in his ear, even making it look like she was caressing him with her words. Her lips were seductively puckered into a knowing sneer.

"You know you won't get me," Sirius breathed, keeping the silence atmosphere present.

"You're right, Sirius. I may not be able to get you but I've got so many other choices," she said, pouting her thick lips. "What about that canine friend of yours? Lupin, isn't that its name?"

"You stay away from him!" Sirius snarled dangerously, bristling.

"I believe I owe Greyback a word or two. I know he has been so busy with Auntie Beatrice," she mocked.

"By order of the Ministry, I demand you stand down at once!"

Bellatrix shrieked when she saw the Ministry Aurors filing around her, enclosing her in a tightly formed circle. She quickly released Sirius and fearfully looked around before breaking out in a laugh so mad, it was hair raising. She laughed her high pitched laugh, so high it seemed like it was a scream. She stuck her tongue out, darting it over her lips and teeth before disapparating on the spot.

Sirius wasted no time rushing over to James, turning him over to his back and holding James's wrist to feel for a pulse. He did not care who was there to witness the wetness in his eyes or the shakiness in his hands. Not even the slight tremor of his voice as it broke.

"Damn it, James…"

At first, Sirius was protectively shielding James's barely conscious body but he saw Madam Pomfrey behind the thronging crowd. Madam Rosmerta was standing in the back, holding her breath and the back of her hand pressed to her mouth. She looked pale and terrified. Remus was standing beside the Headmaster, who was standing beside the Prime Minister.

"Dumbledore, if you cannot control your own premises, what makes you think you can protect your own students?" the Minister whispered fiercely before turning to his own workers. "To St. Mungos with Mr. Potter, please."

"Professor Dumbledore...I—"

"Speak no more, Mr. Black," Professor Dumbledore said sternly yet not unkindly. "I will have you, Mr. Lupin, and Mr. Pettigrew meet Mr. Potter at St. Mungos now, he needs his own time to be evaluated. In the meantime, I expect to see you in my office."

Sirius could not even look at James as he was magicked away. Instead, he kept his head bent low and his face hidden, ashamed. Remus walked beside him and Madam Rosmerta behind him. The walk from the caves took ages already and the guilt gnawing at him from the inside out was even worse. Remus was there to offer his support but even with him there, Sirius felt like wrenching out his guts so he would no longer have to feel.

"It'll be okay," Remus murmured gently, taking ahold of Sirius's wrist.

Sirius looked at Remus with dulled and deadened eyes, a ghost of a frown appeared on his numbed and blank expression.

"We're all okay, I promise," Remus said, gently tilting Sirius's chin up so he could look at him. "Even James will be okay. He's fine."

"He's not because of me," Sirius said, devoid of all emotion. "I shouldn't be seen with you either."

He remembered Bellatrix's vow and how she was going to go after Remus next. He could not imagine his life without any of his friends in it.

"Stop, stop," Remus said in a mollifying tone. He placed a fleeting hand on his shoulder before pulling away. "We stick together.

"It was personal, Moony. He had nothing to do with it either," Sirius said despairingly, closing his eyes against the pain. He could not even maneuver around the castle without running into things or people.

Many were staring at them, wondering why the Headmaster was out and about and why there were two students following him like they came back from a horrible tragedy.

Sirius was fearful of Dumbledore, having no desire to be yelled at for breaking every rule in the Hogwarts book. Even with Remus at his side, Sirius felt utterly alone and utterly helpless.

"Lemon Drop."

The gargoyle jumped to life, spinning to create the staircase that led to the oval office of the Headmaster. Dumbledore went first, followed by Remus, then finally Sirius. The two boys were silent the entire time and when they finally reached the office, they froze.

Professor McGonagall stood there with her hands in her hips. And right beside her was Walburga Black.

"Sirius," she said in a stoic voice. "Why do you find it so hard to follow the rules?"

Sirius bit his lip.

"Bellatrix attacked my friend...on your orders."

"Sirius…"

For two consecutive hours, Sirius had to listen to his mother rant and rave about what a disappointment he was and how everyone was ashamed of him. He had to pretend he and his mother still considered one another family. He had to pretend he was being scolded by a mother for not responsibly taking the blame for his actions. He knew Bellatrix was no good and he shouldn't be associating with her (even though both Sirius and Walburga knew she was the one who set Bellatrix after him). What he didn't have to pretend was that he was a mistake no one could get rid of.

"Have I made myself clear?" Walburga asked, devoid of all emotion.

"Inescapably."

Sirius turned on his heel and stalked out of the Headmaster's office, his head held high. Remus excused himself and raced after his friend. However, Sirius was gone before he even rounded the corner.

All Sirius wanted was a moment to himself. First he was peeved off at James for spouting on and on about Evans, making his best mate run after him in the middle of the night in complete darkness. Second, he made a mistake and his best mate gets punished for it. Third, the one who tortured James got away with it.

Sirius stopped running when he nearly slammed into a tree. He happened to make it down several flights of stairs before stopping, only doing so to look back and see if anyone was after him He took the time to double over and catch his breath, leaning against the tree trunk and hiding out of plain sight. Thankful for the dark clothing, he remained invisible to the naked eye and he relished the solitude, glad to be alone for once.

Slumping to the ground, right at the base of the trunk where all the roots were, Sirius leaned his head back and let the tear spring to his eyes. He wanted a moment alone, a moment he didn't have to see the disappointed faces of all the people he knew. He just wanted to feel okay, he wanted to feel like he wasn't his own worst enemy.

The tears began to slip from underneath his tightly closed eyelids, wetting his eyelashes and his cheeks. The chilly air stung and froze the tears to his reddening skin, leaving the tear stains visible. He pressed the back of his hand to his mouth to stop himself from crying out. He inhaled shakily albeit deeply, forcing himself to recompose.

"Hey there, Padfoot," came a soft voice.

"Can you believe this?" Sirius said, his voice breaking. "One minute I'm peeved over a girl and the next I'm praying James will be okay."

Peter sat down beside Sirius first, his hand on his shoulder.

"Your prayers have been answered," he said softly.

"James is okay and is even expected to come back tomorrow. They are just keeping him overnight to see if he complains about any physical pain," Remus explained, hoping to alleviate some of Sirius's despair.

"That's good," Sirius said dully and looked at his hands. "I could be endangering you two...talking to you."

Remus and Peter both frowned, their eyebrows drawing in.

"That makes no sense, mate," Remus said with a shake of his head. "Besides, it's not like we care. We are sticking close, Padfoot."

Sirius flashed them a grateful smile, blessed to have them as his friends. He settled back and rubbed his mouth, still sick with worry. Nothing the two said would be able to alleviate or appease his guilt and concern but at least he was not alone to suffer it.

* * *

Hour by hour the time had passed and Sirius stared avidly at the tower clock through the window in the Infirmary, praying James would be back soon. They had confirmed it was nothing serious but they still insisted on keeping him overnight. Sirius was biting his nails down to the cuticles he was so nervous.

The anticipation seemed like it was suffocating him, taunting him. Remus was currently taking notes in Transfiguration with Peter for Sirius and James, which left Sirius to sit there and worry alone. He kept anxiously looking at those double, oaken, doors, expecting them to open and reveal a healthier James. He hated his mother for planning this and he hated his cousin for doing it.

Minutes later, the doors swung open (slowly) but it soon revealed James leaning heavily on his crutches. He was, at least, smiling as he struggled to maneuver around. Madam Pomfrey guided James to the bed closest to the door on the right, makings sure the bed was prepped and ready for him. James hobbled on to the bed and set his crutches aside, nodding to something Madam Pomfrey was saying. James motioned to his ribcage but he seemed to explaining something.

Sirius could not bear to watch as an observer. He raced to James's bedside and knelt down so he was more at eye level with his friend. At first, James did not say anything until he opened his mouth.

"I'm glad you're the first face I see," he said fondly, his voice raspy and rough.

"I was beginning to worry I wouldn't see you waiting."

"Of course you would," Sirius snorted but his eyes very much reflected his concern.

"Relax, Sirius," James said, wise to use his real name.

"You can't possibly blame yourself, mate. It would have happened to anyone," James said as he struggled to get into a sitting position.

"You're wrong," Sirius insisted in a halfhearted attempt to sound defensive. "I...Bellatrix knew you would be there. My mum knew you would be with me. I bet you anything Regulus has something to do with it.

"I'm betting not," James said with a shake of his head. "Again, just relax, mate."

Sirius did not relax but he was interrupted when the doors flung open once more, letting in a cool draft and loud noises that made James flinch.

Sirius whipped around to see Remus and Peter racing towards them (Remus hastily but sincerely apologizing to Madam Pomfrey for the disturbance). James cracked a grin as he looked at his friends, sunken brown eyes filling in with life.

"He needs to rest!" Madam Pomfrey said shrilly, getting fed up with all the unwanted visitors. "Excuse me, he needs to rest!"

"I'm sorry, this will only be a minute," Remus said in a small voice. "No more than two minutes."

"I'm going to prepare some of his tonics. You best be out of here by the time I return, Mr. Lupin...Mr. Black, and Mr. Pettigrew," Madam Pomfrey said as she retreated back to her office, rummaging through some vials and bottles.

"What is it?" James asked, grinning despite his searing agony.

Remus pulled out a parchment and his wand, tapping the wand tip to the parchment.

" _I solemnly swear that I am up to no good_."

The parchment shuddered a little before it started unfolding itself. The creases began to draw a web of words: MAP.

"Map?" James rasped softly.

"It was your idea after all," Remus said and smiled a little. "I took the liberty of starting it off with some security technique or whatever. Anyway...this is the beginning of your new idea, Prongs."

"A map….a map…."

James paused.

"The Marauders' Map."

* * *

"You can't possibly blame yourself, mate. It would have happened to anyone," James said as he struggled to get into a sitting position.

"You're wrong," Sirius insisted in a halfhearted attempt to sound defensive. "I...Bellatrix knew you would be there. My mum knew you would be with me. I bet you anything Regulus has something to do with it.

"I'm betting not," James said with a shake of his head. "Do me a favor and see if you can't reschedule the Quidditch practice."

Sirius felt his jaw drop, shocked James could think of practice at a time like this. He shrugged, a bit lost, and nodded.

"Sure," he said, unsure. "I'll...get on that…anything else?"

James nodded.

"Bring Wormy here."

Ten minutes after Sirius left, Peter took his place, sitting down beside James's bedside, looking at his friend expectantly. He had cut class to see what James wanted.

"I need you to do me a favor…" James sakd awkwardly, lookong around thd otherwise empty Hospital Wing, making sure no one overheard him.

"Sure," Peter said with no hesitation. "What is it?"

"How do you feel about a bit of spy work?" James inquired, hoping Peter would agree to his crazy plan.

"Er...can I have more details?" Peter asked.

"Remember what Moony said about the Slytherin blokes who kept disappearing?" James asked. "Well, it just hit me now that they're using the Room of Requirement. I want you to see what they're up to...like go and spy in the Common Room."

Peter's eyes widened comically as he sat and considered James for a minute. James must have grown two heads judging by the way Peter was looking at him.

"Look, I didn't ask you to snuff anyone, I just want to see what they're up to," James said in exasperation. "Please? You're the best bloke for the job."

Peter exhaled awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck.

"How...do you...suggest I pull it off?" he asked cautiously.

"You know how," James said, mindful to stay cryptic even if they were completely alone.

"What?" Peter said incredulously. "And run the risk of being caught? What if they find out? What happens to me then?"

"I wouldn't put you in danger like that," James argued dismissively.

"Not deliberately," Peter protested but he seemed to give in. "Look, James, I'll do it but in the meantime, don't….pester me about it. I'll...I dunno, I'll do it on my own time, fair?"

"Definitely," James said at once.

"So you should probably be worried about two things," Peter said, changing the subject. "One being getting better and the other is Sirius."

"Like serious or Sirius?" James asked, genuinely confused.

"Padfoot," Peter said and sat on his hands, trying to remember the message Remus wanted him to pass on. "He keeps blaming himself for this so...Remus and I are worried he might do something stupid."

"That's rich coming from the werewolf bloke who wants to go underground," James muttered before he could stop himself.

"That was a low blow," Peter said but shook his head. "We won't let that happen either. But you might want to have a word with Sirius."

"We have already, I dunno how to convince him if he won't believe me," James said dejectedly.

Later that night, Peter revealed his plan to Remus and Sirius, confiding in them before he headed out. Remus and Sirius supported him whole heartily. The entire ordeal had Peter trapped in the slight rush of excitement and the rest being absolutely frightened at the idea of being caught and exposed. He was humiliated enough in his life. And if people figured out he was half rat, he would never live it down. Granted, that was the most minor consequence of being exposed.

"You've got this," Remus said encouragingly, patting Peter on the shoulder. "You. Will. Do. Brilliantly."

Peter was a little uneasy at the amount of faith Remus had in him, the inevitable screw up at Hogwarts, who could never do anything right.

"Thanks," he squeaked, swallowing his nerves. "I'll...see you later then."

Peter trekked out of the Common Room and down the hall where he knew no portraits, students, or professors were there to see him. He stopped at a dead end and looked around before he slipped on James's Invisibility Cloak, disappearing on the spot. He shrunk down to his Animagus form and scurried out of sight.

Peter sniffed the air, his whiskers twitching as he picked up different vibrations in the air. He scuttled behind a suit of armor, eyeing the staircase that looked ten times more intimidating than it was when he was staring at it as a human. Peter shook his head clear and bolted for the stairs, half taking them and half falling down them. He stumbled several times, having to use his tail to help him balance himself out. He looked up and the railing, which was hardly worth a second glance when he was a human looked like it was two story buildings high.

After about ten minutes of struggling down one staircase, he shook out his fur and pulled himself back together. Thankfully, he had transformed on the first floor near the dungeons and was able to get himself to the Slytherins pretty quickly. Now there was nothing left for him to do but sit and wait.

And wait.

And wait.

Peter curled up, his tail wrapped around himself, and closed his eyes. He had been waiting for over a half hour for some, just one, Slytherin to head down but it was apparently too much to ask.

"Pathetic, I know," came a sneering voice. "Absolutely, but my mum is bloody crazy on the idea."

"Really?" came a second voice. "Bloody rat!"

The second leaped out of the way as a rat came scurrying away, disappearing back into the shadows. Peter snickered but got serious once more and tried reaching the window ledge to get a better look.

The Slytherin Common Room was underneath the lake, which gave it an eerie blue glow. However, it was the green light that made it all the worse. Unlike the Gryffindor Common Room, which had a warm, red and yellow flame to it like fire, the Slytherin Common Room looked like a true dungeon, cold.

"Oi, Snape! Don't turn your back on me!"

Peter's head whipped around to see Regulus, arms folded and a glare on his face.

"Regulus, hang on," Snape said, his pallid face sunken in and troubled. "How are we going to do this?"

"Christmas," Avery said with a twisted and wicked grin. "When all the jolly and happy prats are not expecting anything. We'll go for the kids. They'll put up less of a fight."

"Who are we going after?" Mulciber asked, his voice sounded eager.

"Muggles of course," Regulus said, his eyes boring into his friends'. "So remember, you gits, Mulciber's place on Christmas."

"You better watch out," Avery said, his eyes darkening with wicked bliss. "You better not cry, you better not pout and I'm telling you why."

"Muggles are going to die," Regulus finished, finally a cold and lifeless smile forming on his face.

* * *

 **1monster2: Sorry for the anticipation. Here you go and I hope you enjoy. That's what I always want and I can't wait to hear for your feedback.**

 **Cole303: I hope this was worth the wait. I know I'm a little slow on these updates. I'll get better at that, I promise. Anf I love your story by the way.**

 **Padfoot123331: Ahh, no worries. Sorry I didn't explain that to your earlier. Yeah, prat is a fun word to use.**

 **Remus1997: I hope you enjoyed this chapter and as always I hope you tell me what you think!**


	28. The Nightmare Before Christmas

**All rights remain.**

Christmas did not seem like it could arrive sooner. However, instead of the usual jovial and happy spirits The Marauders were in, the four boys were quiet, reserved, and much more contemplative. Others seemed to have noticed their strange behavior, especially after Remus Lupin fell ill again in November. To everyone else, November and December so far had been very uneventful. There had been no news in the Daily Prophet ever really announcing any out of the ordinary events. There had not even been a single murder in the past two months. However, something invisible to all others seemed to have The Marauders all on edge.

"Damn this full moon," Remus groaned and flexed his numbing fingers. "Sure, I get a break November, but suddenly it feels twice as bad this month?"

"Talk about shite out of luck, Moony," Sirius said, his chin in his hands. "This is the most boring detention I have ever had to go to. Bloody Prongs fell asleep on me, too."

"Oh, and you think this is enjoyable for me?" Remus asked with a scoff. "Let me tell you, Padfoot, listening to you whine about anything and everything isn't what I would like to be doing either."

"We didn't even do anything wrong," Sirius groaned, tilting his chair back on its two back legs.

"Mate, you and Prongs set a Slytherin bloke's trousers on fire," Remus said flatly and still with a hint of disbelief. "Do you really think you would get away with that?"

Sirius and Remus both lapsed into silence, letting the time pass without a word. The worst thing was neither James nor Sirius could even enjoy their practical Christmas present prank.

Why?

They were all still wound up about what Peter had told them that night he went to spy on the Slytherins. Once they had found out, each had made their own plan to leave Hogwarts over the Christmas holidays and follow Regulus and his friends. This was, perhaps, not one of their wisest ideas, but something had to be done and going to officials was not an option especially since they had no proof yet.

"This is how we have to spend our last day here, Padfoot, thanks," Remus said pointedly.

"Blame me all you want but it won't help you leave any earlier," Sirius muttered under his breath.

"No, but…" Remus trailed off in thought, his movements stilling as he looked away.

"What?" Sirius asked, a little concerned at the strange behavior.

"If Regulus is associating with them, then do you reckon Bellatrix Lestrange will meet them at any time?" Remus asked, suddenly getting an idea into his head.

He had seen himself going underground to preserve the safety of his aunt countless times before but ever since Lily admitted to telling Sirius and James of his plan, they had been very against it (which Remus found flattering and annoying).

"You aren't thinking what I think you're thinking," Sirius warned, his eyes going a bit darker as a sign of his sincerity.

"Sirius, in all seriousness, have you not been looking around? Right now, we are on the losing side," Remus hissed softly, careful not to be too loud. He sighed heavily and reined in his patience. "I just want to talk to Bellatrix if I've got the chance."

"Wait, what?" Sirius asked, shocked.

"Her and I have one thing in common: Greyback and he could be after my aunt as we speak. Going underground is the only option for me."

Sirius fell silent, trying to think of something else to say. However, nothing seemed to come to mind. He closed his eyes and buried his face in his hands. He recalled the days of Christmas when his biggest concerns were the pranks he was going to pull on everyone and the presents he would give and receive. But now...it all seemed like a thing of his past.

* * *

Remus gripped the handle of his trunk tighter, getting ready to board the Hogwarts Express. The anticipation of heading somewhere completely unfamiliar to them was absolutely nerve racking. Sirius put a hand on Remus's shoulder and steered him forward, guiding him into their compartment.

"So, how are we pulling this off?" Peter asked, still a little behind on the plan.

"We're...sneaking into the Mulciber's mansion," James said as simply as that. "The only problem is getting out once we get in."

"Unless they have security for an trespassers," Sirius muttered, sinking lower in the compartment seat. "Then we won't be able to get in."

"Maybe not as humans," James said softly, his eyes darting towards the door. "But maybe we can get passed...as animals."

"Problem, Moony can't turn werewolf on command," Sirius pointed out with a wave of his hand, gesturing to Remus. "So plan B?"

"That's it," Remus said and pulled something out of Sirius's book bag: the two-way mirror.

"What?" Peter mumbled, once again lost in the new twist to the plan.

"I can't breach their security system so...I go in as myself," Remus said and examined himself in the mirror. "I know for a fact Greyback has been looking for me. I can get myself in."

"Yeah, no," Sirius protested immediately. "You're barking mad, Moony."

"It might be the only way I can get in," Remus said gently. "I'm old enough to make my own decisions, mate."

Sirius closed his eyes but he said nothing else, letting the silence take over. Remus understood his friends' reservations and concerns because he had of his own but he had no other way of getting past the entrance without setting an alarm off and endangering all of his friends.

"You don't have to go," Peter said quietly, sure that Sirius and James had not heard them over the roar of the train.

Remus had contemplative but he shook his head.

"Where you lot go, I go."

The train ride was far more solemn and quiet than it usually was, mostly for The Marauders, who were sitting in their compartment silently, each absorbed in their own thoughts. Remus tried occupying his busy mind with calming thoughts but all it took was a single thought to bring him back to the present.

When Christmas was a time filled with merry people made him wish he could go back in time. Last term he wanted to do nothing more than to run away and hide, take himself away from his problems. But he learned running away was a coward's way to deal with his problems. The memories began to break him down, taking his strength away and draining him of his energy.

All it took was a few small triggers before he could feel his throat closing in on himself. Remus awkwardly cleared his throat, turning to face away from his friends, but James was the first to notice.

With a frown, James draped an arm around Remus's shoulders and pulled him closer, embracing him.

"What's wrong, Moony?"

"I'm just...worried," Remus murmured, his voice barely above a whisper. "Why can I remember just last Christmas we weren't worrying about this?"

Sirius and Peter exchanged despaired looks, evidently asking themselves the same thing. James, however, looked thoughtful, more so than he ever had, and shrugged. He knew the meaning of loss; his father never came home last year.

"Well, someone's got to worry about this," James said, trying to keep his tone more optimistic. "So we might as well because who better than us, right? Come on, Moony, we can't let anyone get hurt when there's something we can do."

"What? Following Slytherins suddenly becomes my job?" Remus asked, eyebrows rising up. "Going underground and living among my own kind might just be the answer and you won't let me go there."

Sirius folded his arms over his chest; he was the one who was against the whole idea the most. The idea of watching his friend play Spy for an underground city of werewolves never really did appeal to him.

"I'm worried about your safety," Sirius said and gestured to the rest of his friends. "We all are."

"Others can get hurt but we're just going to let that go?" Remus asked, his voice rising in volume and pitch. "And we're going to sit back and do nothing? What happens if someone close gets hurt?"

"Remus," Peter said softly, trying to calm the atmosphere down.

"What happens if Sirius gets hurt? Or you, James? Or Peter?" Remus pressed, gesturing to each of them in turn. "What happens when my aunt get hurts? What happens if someone like Lily gets hurt because I didn't do anything about it?"

Remus saw James flinch but his friend was good at hiding his emotions when it came to more sincere and somber topics. Though Remus knew it was a bit harsh to get so personal with the question but this was his last ditch effort to convince his friends.

"What if we compromise?" Peter asked, breaking the silence.

"Like what would that look like?" Sirius scoffed but he did not turn down the idea.

Peter shrugged but James brightened, sitting up a little straighter and nudging Remus.

"Sure, we can't stop you from going underground forever," he said, running a hand through his hair. "But we sure as hell can make you wait until you're of age. What if...Dumbledore's organization, the Order of the Phoenix...what if that was one of your personal missions?"

"We're getting ahead of ourselves," Remus said, holding up his hands, now taking a step back. "We dunno if we are joining the Order, do we?"

"Dumbledore said we could after we turn of age," James said with a shrug. "I'm joining and I thought you three might, too."

The three of them nodded but Remus was doing some deep thinking, deciding this compromise might get him the closest to his own personal goals. He folded his arms over his chest and nodded.

"Fine."

* * *

The Marauders clambered off the train; they had purposely left their belongings behind, hoping that traveling light would allow them to maneuver more easily. James had lied to his mother and said he was staying at Hogwarts while he told Professor McGonagall he was going home. Remus and Peter told his aunt the same lie whilst Sirius had no excuse for he was not welcomed home.

The four of them looked around nonchalantly, trying to find the ones they were looking for. It did not take long, however. All they had to do was wait a few seconds before the group of Slytherins emerged from the train, dragging their trunks behind them and their wands stowed in their pockets. Avery, Mulciber, Regulus, and Snape all walked in a single file line,

The Marauders kept an eye on the four but did not follow, knowing it would raise attention. Sirius, however, was beginning to plot in his head, trying to get himself together enough to make his suggestion.

"Oi, I have a better idea," Sirius said, finally breaking the silence between the four of them. "Like...it's better than flat out following them and risking us getting caught."

James turned to face Sirius first, raising an eyebrow questioningly. Eventually Remus and Peter turned to face him, too, evidently curious to hear one of Sirus's 'bright and brilliant' plans.

"Mulciber's a pure-blood," Sirius said, rubbing his arm a bit awkwardly. "We've got connections to every pure-blood family in England...at home."

Remus and James exchanged bewildered looks while Peter's eyes widened in shock. None of the three, not even Sirius though, would have ever imagined hearing Sirius suggest heading back to his home. Very against his family's ideals, Sirius made himself a target in his family, often subjected to the violence mentally and physically.

"Padfoot, that means...going back to your place," Peter said slowly.

"You really think I don't know that?" Sirius snorted, rolling his eyes as he crossed his arms over his chest. "I've got...I would rather head there and take that route than risk us getting caught."

"Taking one for the team, are we?" James asked, his voice suddenly on edge.

"Prongs, it makes the most sense," Sirius protested, taken aback at the pure venom in his best mate's tone of voice. "I dunno what in Merlin's old and moldy robes you are bloody talking about."

"Don't play hero," James said, his arms coming to wrap around himself.

"I'm not playing hero," Sirius said, aghast and offended. "I'm just making a suggestion."

Remus and Peter were dumbstruck at the sudden outburst from their usually level and laid back friend. However, James was riled up and angry, eyes fixed in a steely glare and his lips pulled down in a deep set frown.

"What's gotten into you?" Sirius, knowing James was acting out for a reason.

"So what if I don't want to risk _you_ by going to your house, Sirius?" James asked, using Sirius's real name (which happened on the more rare side of the spectrum). He looked at Sirius with a mixture of anger and pure fear. "I won't do that to you."

Sirius, glad he understood the angry outburst, took a step closer to James and put a hand on his shoulder, trying to reassure him without the use of words. However, James was not settling down and he merely brushed Sirius's hand off, looking even more stern and angry.

"Mate," Sirius started, still keeping his ground. "That's what the Order's all about: taking risks. I'm joining the Order with you, Moony, and Wormtail. We're all going to have to start making sacrifices for each other and for the cause."

James opened his mouth, suddenly realising what an eye opener Sirius's statement was. He opened and closed his mouth a few times, gaping like a fish out of water. His mind reeled but his heart protested.

"I can't risk you," James rasped, his voice hoarse and rough. "I can't because if you get hurt, I'll never forgive myself. You mean too much to me, Sirius. I can't...I can't...not without you."

"It's high time you start putting some faith in your friends, Prongs," Sirius said, this time putting his hand back on James's shoulder while speaking in a mollifying way. "Because if we're joining the Order, sacrifices are definitely in the job description."

James closed his eyes, seemingly sagging underneath the truth and honesty in Sirius's words. Remus watched his friend struggle with an inner conflict but he saw James give in, nodding ever so vaguely as he slowly started backing away from Sirius.

"So we're all in?" Sirius said, looking at his friends in turn.

Remus and Peter nodded before James nodded. With the other three in agreement, Sirius put his hand in the middle, waiting for the others to do the same. Remus and Peter, once more, went first, then James did albeit reluctantly.

With a whisk and a snap, a big of a tug, and a definite shove, The Marauders were off.

The sensation of apparation never felt quite right, especially since it was technically very illicit for them to do so without passing the test. However, Remus ignored the gut sensation and forced his legs to steel against the ground that slammed into his feet from below, threatening to make his knees buckle under the awkward weight. However, he latched on to James's shoulder and steadied himself.

When he looked around, he spotted the empty street, the flickering street lights, and the two buildings filled with muggles lounging about and doing nothing much other than milling about. In between the two buildings sat Sirius's home.

It took a while for Sirius to say anything for he was blankly staring at the home he grew up in and was eventually banned from ever returning to. His hands curled into fists but he said nothing and continued forward, murmuring softly incantations to counteract against the number of shield charms.

James, still very opposed to this idea, hung back, his arms folded nervously. However, the iron gate unlocked with a click and Sirius stowed his wand away. Able to perform magic legally without being traced was a plus even if Sirius's birthday was filled with nothing but angst from his younger brother and family (hence the no celebration).

"Let's go," James muttered, stepping forward first. "If this is going to go badly, we might as well do it quickly to get it over with."

"Can you try to remember why we are here," Remus snorted, trying to rein in his patience. And though he understood James's concern, even sharing it with his own dosage, he was still hoping they could keep a more optimistic perspective. "Break easy."

"Both of you," Sirius said, hand on the handle. "We've got to sneak around because my mum would lose her head if she us in her house...especially Remus."

"Why?" Peter asked absentmindedly.

"Half-breed," Remus said and stepped up behind Sirius. "So what's the best way in and where's the best place to leave?"

"Great question," Sirius said and pointed up to the second floor, snapping his fingers. Then he motioned to the door, which meant they were going in through said door and heading up to the second floor. "There's a room there with the Floo network connected to the fireplace on the second floor."

"Ruddy brilliant," Peter muttered sarcastically. "I dunno how I feel about all of that."

"But we're doing it anyway," Remus said pointedly, eyeing Peter with a bit of a glare. "We'll find a way to break through."

"Even if we're all going to break down," James muttered under his breath.

Sirius led them into the house, which remained oddly silent. There seemed to be no signs of life around the large foyer itself, leaving them engulfed in tense silence and nervous paranoia. The four of them began moving through the isolated and silent hall, keeping on high alert and waiting for something or someone to jump out and attack them with wands blazing.

However, they manged to make it through the foyer's first hallway completely unnoticed and completely unscathed, which seemed odd in Remus's opinion. He inhaled deeply, taking a sniff of the air but not catching anything out of the ordinary.

"Who's home?" Peter whispered, barely audible.

"I dunno but it seems like there is no one in here," Sirius said, straightening up a little from his defensive position.

"Let's not waste this then," Remus said hastily, keeping them all on track. "To the second floor, yeah?"

Once more, the second floor seemed completely barren and as the party of four was racing up the narrow flight of stairs, there was no signs of anyone else...until they entered the room they needed to get into.

"Kreacher," Sirius gasped, his eyes widening in shock. He was not expecting the deranged house elf to be the one to spot them sneaking around the Black estate. His hands curled into fists as he stepped in front of his friends. "You will stay silent about this."

Kreacher chuckled wheezily but he did not say anything, just blinking up at Sirius with the biggest eyes.

"Kreacher follows directions from no one but family," he croaked, wiping his hands on the ratty cloth shirt he wore. "Kreacher listens to his mistress and sir Regulus Black. But Kreacher does not listen to you."

"But you do," Sirius said, straightening up. "I may not be like my family but there's one thing you cannot deny. Our blood, so Kreacher, you do obey me, too. And I forbid you to ever tell anyone this."

"Kreacher serves the noble Black family."

Sirius slammed the door shut and pointed to the pot of gray powder, looking at his friends in turn.

Remus was the first to step into the fireplace and with one last look, he closed his eyes and whisked himself away.

* * *

 **Acknowledgements to come after this next chapter.**


	29. A Hero In Us All

**All rights remain.**

 **"With great power comes great responsibility." -Ben Parker**

" _Merlin's beard_ ," Peter breathed.

Remus always thought Sirius lived in a ghoulish location (and he would not have even been surprised if he saw a few zombies milling about), but Mulciber's home location topped Sirius's haunted street by a thousand.

There were street lights, yes, however, the lamps were dim and hardly lit the cobblestone below. The cobblestone was another thing Remus noted and stored away as something suspicious and downright creepy. The block was not made of normal cement (which even wizarding communities used nowadays).

"Have they never heard of an upgrade?" James said, seemingly reading Remus's mind as he dug a toe into one of the stone's cracks. He shuddered as he looked around, a frown appearing on his face. "So, Paddy, you're positive this is where your brother and everyone else was headed?"

Sirius flinched at the word "brother" but he did not let it get to him; despite sharing the same looks and traits of a Black, like his brother, Sirius deemed himself very different than the rest of his family.

"No," the eldest Black heir said and looked around more closely. "I don't see anything except for his manor and the road."

"Fancy exploring either or both?" James asked, a small impish smile growing over his expression. He pushed his glasses into place and jabbed a thumb in the direction of the Mulciber Mansion. "Something tells me we'll find more inside the place."

"But wait," Peter said quietly, grabbing a hold on James's arm. "If they're attacking muggles, they wouldn't be any inside."

James looked at Peter before turning his gaze to Sirius, raising both his eyebrows in questioning or a sense of confirmation from the other. Meanwhile, Sirius and Remus were sharing glances with one another.

"I think," Remus said, addressing them all, "he has a point. No point in trying to get into a place we don't need to go."

James shrugged and started walking down the side of the road with Peter on his left, taking a look around for himself. Remus and Sirius were ahead, trying to discuss quietly what they were going to do or something of that sort (James could not really hear). To the say the least, it was annoying the way Sirius and Remus thought everything they said quietly was somehow the best plan of action.

"So anyway," Peter said, trying break the awkward silence. "Er..."

"We have to work with what we have, Wormy," Sirius said albeit he was never unkind.

Without warning, Sirius transformed into his Animagus form, the great black dog he turned into. Peter and James both looked at Snape in disbelief but Remus was already shaking his head in protest.

"We aren't risking you getting caught, mate," the sixth year werewolf insisted firmly, putting his foot down. "Please, Sirius."

The dog wagged his tail low to the ground. Remus wanted to protest some more but Sirius was already beginning to head off, his nose already looking for some sort of trail. Remus, Peter, and James were left to follow their friend silently, trying to leave no trace of themselves along the way.

"I can't help but think this is a waste of time," James grumbled ten minutes later.

However, Sirius responded with a low growl emitting deep from within his throat. He bared his teeth and flattened his ears on his head, appearing to get ready for a fight. But before any of them could ask, the ground trembled again, starting a cave in.

Remus steadied himself after the shock wave, looking around then looking at his friends. Sirius's lip curled to reveal his sharpened teeth, James gripped his wand tightly in his hand, and Peter's hands formed into fists.

"Think they're there?" Remus asked James and Peter.

Before any of them could answer, Sirius let out a sharp bark and instantly started sprinting. He led his friends down the cobblestone street and to the empty barn, something Remus would not have expected to see near a pureblood's neighborhood.

Sirius transformed back into a human and the four paused to take a look around.

Cobwebs hung from the ceiling. The lights flickered ominously as if they were truly stuck in a horror story. The floors groaned and creaked underneath the weight. The windows were boarded up and nailed closed, the wooden floor was rotten and groaning with the extra weight, and the walls were crusting and molding. Even moss clung to the ceiling.

Neither of the four were surprised to see a few rats scurrying about the cracks and corners of the empty structure. The smell was overwhelming. The stench of rotting fish oil and milk stained the dusty air, suffocating them from the inside out—not something any of them wanted to stick around to deal with for long.

"Ruddy brilliant," James groaned quietly, wrinkling his nose in disgust. "There's nothing here!"

"You're wrong," Remus said, equally as quiet. He pointed ahead at the dark mass hunched over something smaller: a child. "They're here and it looks like we're two kids too late."

Regulus was the first to turn and slowly rise to his feet, a small smirk and domineering smile twisting upon his features. Remus felt Sirius stiffen and tense beside him, the anger swelling from within. Snape was the second to acknowledge their presence, his dark pits for eyes narrowing with dislike. His gaze was aimed directly at James. Peter gripped his wand as Mulciber and Avery were looking at him as if he was a meal.

"Long time no see," Regulus said, stepping up and folding his arms over his chest. "What are you doing here?"

"Following us?" Mulciber said gruffly, laughing at his own little joke. "Because they have nothing better to do with themselves."

"Well, I could be having an enjoyable Christmas holiday," Remus muttered under his breath, not in the least intimidated by these idiots. "But since we heard what you lot were up to, I had to put that on hold."

"Full of witty comebacks and quips, are we, Lupin?" Snape sneered, his lip curling back to reveal his mockery.

James and Sirius both took a step forward, but Remus flung his arm out, shaking his head in warning. Peter was the other to stay back, wise enough (or perhaps fearful enough to not pick a fight when they were outnumbered).

"Here's the question," Regulus said, now addressing his own friends. "How did they know what we were doing?"

Behind Regulus, down below their feet, one child began stirring weakly. His groan was barely heard above the taunting laughter from the older menaces. Remus was the first and only one to notice the conscious child and suddenly he felt his priorities shifting.

"Dumbledore will do you in for this," Peter said, his voice wavering a little underneath the mounting fear. "He won't stand for this, you gits."

"Dumbledore, Dumbledore," Avery said, stepping up to Regulus's side and placing an elbow on Regulus's arm like his shoulder was an arm rest. He looked very casual and rather bored as he tapped his chin in thought. "Dumbledore...Dumbledore...who's that again?"

"Our Headmaster," Peter answered but James whacked him in the chest.

"That was a rhetorical and snarky question you weren't supposed to answer," James muttered under his breath, suppressing the urge to roll his eyes when Peter's face turned red and he began to splutter.

"I-I knew that!" the rat Animagus insisted, arms flailing a bit.

"Anyway," Remus said, turning the others' attention back on himself. "You're going to leave these kids alone, Regulus. Muggle-borns, they're still witches and wizards."

"Oh," Mulciber said suddenly, startling Remus a little and definitely now drawing the attention to himself. He let out a deep belly laugh, his shoulders shaking and he was doubled over as he fought to catch his breath. "Oh! And he thought these were Mudbloods!"

Remus's eyes widened and usually he was not left speechless. However, Mulciber, the one who was a little smarter than a pile of rocks, made Remus speechless. Something was certainly amiss.

"What?" Sirius said, his tone low and deadly. "What are you talking about?"

He lunged forward, past Regulus and Avery, plowed over Snape, and seized Mulciber by the collar, fisting them tightly. His eyes were ablaze with anger, his breathing coming out ragged and uneven.

"They aren't witches _or_ wizards, brother," Regulus said, sneering the word 'brother' as he stepped up behind Sirius. "So I suggest you take your rescue party elsewhere."

Remus watched as Regulus seized Sirius in a headlock, yanking him off Mulciber and throwing him to the ground successfully. The two brothers locked gazes for a moment before they both launched at each other.

"No!" Remus exclaimed, rushing towards the fighting mass, determined to not lose sight of what mattered the most. "James, Peter, get those kids out of here!"

James and Peter looked thoroughly surprised to see Remus taking charge but they did not argue. Both surged forward, seizing the unconscious or barely conscious children into their arms, tucked in close to their chests, and ran out of the abandoned barn.

Remus, meanwhile, summoned all his strength into one sucker punch, feeling the bone crack on impact with his knuckles. The blow sent real shock waves up and down his arm, making his fingers tingle and his bones feel funny and stiff.

Regulus, on the other hand, fell like a ton of bricks, his hand immediately going to his swollen and reddening jaw. He spit a spot of blood, glaring angrily at Remus and Sirius, who were both backing away with their wands exposed.

"The Aurors will be on our arses if we so much as clean our noses with a spell," Remus said, his wand slowly lowering to his side. "Breaking the law isn't why we came here, Sirius. Think of something else."

"Are you joking, Remus?" Sirius said in bewilderment. "We're outnumbered two to four and you're telling me to not use magic? We're more of age to use magic legally than they are!"

"I know but..." Remus paused slowly, his mind formulating another idea. "Wait. I've got it!"

But before Remus could say anything more, before he could elaborate, he was slammed into the wall, the fist of Avery up and reared back. The impact of the blow sent Remus reeling, the pain flashing in his head and behind his closed eyelids. He could already feel his lip beginning to swell, his nose gush blood, and his jawbone already beginning to bruise and crack.

He could vaguely hear Sirius let out a deafening roar of anger, something sparked when he saw his friend injured, and launched himself at Avery, fists flailing and wand out and brandished. Despite his pain, Remus turned his head to the side, forced himself to wobbly stand on his feet, and shout at the top of his lungs.

" _STUPEFY_!"

It had been truly ages since he had used a stunning spell that would hold longer than a few seconds. The red jet of light smacked Avery hard in the chest, sending him sailing backward through the air. It took about a second or two before he hit the wall opposite of him, slamming him against the wall much like he had done to Remus. Avery slumped over and did not move afterward.

Sirius looked stunned, his eyes widening as he stayed on his hands and knees.

"Mate, did you just use..." his voice died somewhere in his throat as he wiped away the blood pooling right below his ribs.

"Magic?" Remus supplied, hurrying over to Sirius and bending down on one knee to get on a better eye level with Sirius. "Yeah, hopefully the Aurors will come. I had a plan...as always and as promised."

Sirius looked at Remus with a faint smile, his hand coming up to press against the obvious wound in his side. He squeezed his eyes shut tight, his breathing turning more ragged and uneven as he groaned and gritted his teeth in pain.

"What happened?" Remus asked worriedly, trying to peer in between Sirius's fingers, which were now stained red. Remus could tell despite the darkness but mostly by the metallic smell of blood. "What hit you?"

"Blade," Sirius grunted, his arms shaking with adrenaline and pain. "What about the kids, Moony? Where are they?"

"Safe," Remus said and sighed. "Hopefully. James and Peter ran off with them but Merlin only knows what they were doing to those kids."

"They...they weren't e-even magic," Sirius moaned, his eyes closing once more as he began to slump.

"Hang in there, Sirius," Remus said, his voice toned with a hint of fear but he still seemed to sound mollifying and oddly calm. "Hang in there, we'll get you help. It's okay, I think we did it."

* * *

 _"What are you doing?"_

 _Regulus smirked and looked down at the young boy, his arms crossed over his chest as he scrutinized the ones before him laying at his feet. Mulciber was lingering behind him, Snape shadowing in the back, and Avery at the forefront with the youngest Black._

 _"Relax, kid," Mulciber grunted, stepping up to the young boy and tilting his chin back. "Consider us gifts from the Master."_

 _"Master?" the boy stammered, shaking violently as he tried fighting against his bonds. His eyes were red and streaked with tears, cheeks stained with the already fallen tears. He looked downright frightened. "Please let me go. Please!"  
_

 _"They say begging is the true loss of dignity," Regulus said smoothly, looking and sounding rather bored with the kid. "Course you're a bit too young to know what that is therefore you have none."_

 _"What fun is that?" Avery asked, sounding genuinely disappointed._

 _"Master of the wizarding world, kid," Mulciber said, interrupting the squabbling pair and thrusting his way in front of them both. He glared down at the kid before getting right into his face, noses inches apart. "You know exactly who I'm talking about."_

 _"No," the kid wailed, fresh tears falling from his bright brown eyes. "Please let me go!"_

 _Snape suddenly took a step forward, his eyes narrowed maliciously. He stalked up to Mulciber and yanked him back by the shoulder, spinning him around forcefully so he would be forced to look at him._

 _"You fool!" he roared, grabbing Mulciber by the chin and forcing him to look at the kid. "You just exposed our world to the idiot! They aren't Mudbloods! You can tell by the vacant expressions!"_

 _Mulciber gaped for a few moments, mouth opening and closing as he looked for something clever and intelligent to say. However, he was Mulciber and what he made up for in brutality and strength, he lacked in brains. Snape, however, was livid._

 _"Now what do we do with them?" he snapped, throwing Mulciber away from him and glowering. "Obliviate them?"_

 _"What are you talking about, Snivellus?" Avery said with a roll of his eyes, sounding impatient. "They're kids. They won't remember anything."_

 _"I think we've said enough," Regulus shouted over the top of all his friends, thrusting himself in between the group of them to separate them and prevent them from attacking one another out of anger. "We'll either finish them off or obliviate them."_

 _"What fun is there in wiping their memories?" Avery whined, his eyes darkening with anticipation. "It's our secret, their word against ours. Let's finish them."_

 _The kids, by now, were sobbing, trembling in fear on the floor as they tried to free their bound hands. They kept shaking their heads, pleading for the strangers to let them go. In truth, they were far too traumatized for them to remember anything of a magical wizarding world; however, Regulus, Avery, Mulciber, nor Snape were feeling very rational at the moment._

 _"Okay, fine, have it your way, Avery," Regulus said indifferently, seemingly taking up the role of leader in their group. "But make it clean and we leave soon after. No playing with our food."_

 _"But isn't that the best?" Avery said with a frown, his wand extracted from within his sleeve. "How about the Cruciatius Curse?"  
_

 _"How about no magic?" Snape snapped._

 _"Now what, Snivellus?"_

 _"Do not call me that!" Snape roared, launching himself at Avery and pushing him by the chest and sending the other sprawling on the ground, wheezing as the wind was knocked out of his lungs. "I told you, Avery, don't call me that."_

 _"Ease up, Snape," Mulciber said, shocked at the overreaction he just witnessed. "Avery's just joking and since when did you get so sensitive about a bit of Dark Magic. I thought you liked that stuff."_

 _"I do," Snape said hastily, feeling something like a little twinge of guilt for letting those words pass his lips. However, he was done restraining a part of himself for another, for a certain someone who no longer appreciated him anyway. "I do appreciate the Dark Arts."_

 _'Then what's the issue here, Snape?" Avery spat, rubbing his chest where he could feel a bruise forming from the sudden blow._

 _"Well, think! Think what happens when a bit of a spell is set off from a group of underage wizards," Snape said, the hint of exasperation and agitation set deep in his tone. He folded his arms over his chest. "We'll have the whole Ministry of Magic tracing us and that's the last thing we need if we're pulling this off."_

 _"What are they going to arrest us for?" Mulciber asked stupidly._

 _"Oh, I don't know," Snape said sarcastically and this time really did roll his eyes. "Get arrested and hauled in for underage magic. That'll really get Dumbledore on our backs for the rest of our lives."_

 _"Dumbledore's an old fool," Avery spat at once, already getting riled up over the simple name of the Headmaster._

 _"Old fool, yes," Snape said wisely and cautiously. "But he's still got loads of power, way more than we do. He could do some damage if he knew what we were up to, you lot. I suggest no magic."_

 _"So then what?" Regulus asked, turning to look over and behind his shoulder. He was the one to watch their victims as the others debated. "Any suggestions O Wise and Powerful Snape?"_

 _"Sod off, Black," Snape said and let his hands curl into fists. "Just sod off and let these kids go."_

 _At the mere suggestion, all heads turned to look at him. Snape felt like a thousand pairs of eyes were silently judging him, peeling him layer through layer until they reached his core. However, Snape remained as firm and serious looking as ever._

 _"Let them go," he repeated, still as confidently as he looked. "They've got no business with us. It's those idiot Gryffindors we really want."_

 _"Then we can lure them out," Regulus said suddenly, taking his switchblade and unsheathing the silver. He looked at his own eyes in the reflection of his blade, a twisted smile forming on his defined and sculpted features. He really would have been truly a godlike human. "I think a little someone told them what we were up to."_

 _Regulus walked over to the young girl and got down on one knee, mocking her as she squirmed and struggled against her bonds. She strained and cried, squeezing her eyes shut so she would not have to look at him._

 _"So," Regulus said, cutting a small line of blood on her cheek. "Let's see if these fools will follow your scent of blood like dogs..."_

* * *

Sirius opened his eyes blearily, head pounding and every bone in his body felt like it was broken then mended over night. At the memories of the previous night, he jerked upright and instantly saw flashing lights and dots before his eyes. He could vaguely feel a pair of hands on his back and shoulder, making him lay back down. He focused his vision upward and found himself staring into two very blue eyes.

"Moony," he crooned weakly, trying to hide his pain. "What are you doing here?"

"Do you even know where Here is?" Remus snorted, his voice quiet and calm yet full of the fondness for Sirius that always warmed him up inside. "If you answer correctly, I'll be in disbelief."

"No, I dunno where I am," Sirius mumbled, his mind telling him to focus on Remus's angelic voice. The pounding of his head still did not seem to alleviate even when Remus was talking. "So are you going to tell me or are you going to keep me guessing?"

"I dunno, keeping you guessing seems kind of fun," Remus jested, a small smile forming on his lips but it only stayed there for a brief moment before it vanished. "You're at St. Mungos."

"What?" Sirius spluttered, jerking once more in shock.

"You blacked out on us," Remus said then chuckled. "Get it, 'blacked' out?"

From somewhere on his left, Sirius could hear James laughing, too. He turned his head to the side and saw a pair of knees hanging over the side of his bed, attached to an extremely long and lean torso, connected to a neck and a face with ungodly unruly hair.

"Prongs," he rasped with a roll of his eyes. "Come to visit me on my deathbed, too?"

James rolled his eyes at that (as did Remus) and patted Sirius on the arm, shooting him a hasty smile before it melted into a more amused one. To Sirius, he looked cut up and bruised but far better than he.

"You were stabbed when you went unarmed against Regulus," James explained, motioning to his own side. He jabbed the side of his ribs with his thumb for emphasis. "Got you right there, mate."

Sirius could now slightly recall the incident.

"You went for the kids, right?" he asked instead, feeling good enough to sit up now. He struggled to lean against the mound of pillows there to support his head and back. "What happened to them? Where are they?"

"Safe," James said and awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck. "Granted, the little girl's getting checked up by the doctors about that nasty cut she got on her face. The little boy made it out safely but...it...Wormy..."

Sirius felt his heart jolt and shake unpleasantly, his head spinning dangerously as he began running through the random and possible prospects of what James was going to say next.

"He...er...Peter got nicked pretty badly by Mulciber," James said, hands twisting in his lap. "We were just visiting Pete in his room, which is like down the hall and a few doors on the left."

Sirius swallowed the fear and inhaled deeply.

"Like better or worse than me?" he breathed.

"Luckily there's some shades of gray in there, mate," Remus interjected, putting a hand on James's shoulder to keep him from bluntly answering the question with no filter. He was wiser than that to bring the news upon a friend who was in his own recovery. "Peter got himself cut by...a blade tampered with Dark Magic. The wound won't heal and the Healers here can't do anything about the infection that's spreading."

"Infection!" Sirius squawked, now sounding more panicky. "What do you mean by that, Moony!"

"I mean, he's going to be okay," Remus said reassuringly, putting a hand on Sirius's shoulder to calm him down and to silence him so he would have a chance to explain everything. "Wormtail was barely cut, only enough to get that bit of Dark Magic inside him. The Healers are doing everything they can to extract the venom. They have been stabilizing him with reliable potions and tonics."

"He's recovering," James added helpfully. "He's just feeling a little out of it and a way sore."

"Like a herd of hippogriffs stampeding over him," Remus chimed in. "Point is, Mulciber didn't get his wish. He wasn't able to inflict enough Dark Magic venom to seriously hurt him but..."

This time, the sixth year werewolf paused and looked away, his gaze averted to his knees. Even James fell silent, his jaw set and the muscle tensing and relaxing as he grit his teeth. Sirius was now very concerned.

"They got away with it," Remus said finally, rubbing his mouth awkwardly and his eyes were filled with despair, reflecting his own disappointment in himself and everything else as well.

"Wait, how?" Sirius nearly shouted, his own head filling with rage.

"It was only our word against theirs," Remus sighed dejectedly. "Dumbledore and the Ministry said it wasn't enough for them to point fingers at them. They did it cleverly, Padfoot."

Sirius cursed, burying his face in his hands. He had failed. When he was so confident in his ability to stop at least one bad person, someone he even knew personally, and had failed, he felt himself sink into a black hole. He felt nothing but bitter disappointment in himself for letting them get away. However, before he could bury himself in more self hate, he felt a hand on the small of his back.

"It's not your fault, Padfoot, it's none of ours," Remus said, rising to his feet. "Sure, we expected things to go way different but getting the bad guys isn't what makes us Gryffindors."

Sirius looked up at him curiously.

"Never giving up and never stop trying," Remus said, a small genuine smile twitching his lips upward. "That's what makes us Gryffindors."

"And you, Pads," James said, slapping Sirius on the back a little more roughly. "Are just that."

* * *

 **Okay, okay. You can blame me for the long gap of no updates but you can also blame Sir-Hack-A-Lot for jacking up my fanfiction account. Thanks, pal, wherever you are now.**

 **Anyway, here we are.**

 **1monster2: I hope you enjoy because I didn't leave this chapter a cliffhanger, haha.**

 **Guest: Yes, yes, there will be an update soon. Et voila.**

 **Padfoot123321: Yes, blame Regulus. This chapter just highlights how bad he is (before he turns good).**


	30. My Word

**All rights remain.**

"Is it true?"

"What really happened?"

"Why did you lot go?"

"Did you see them do anything?"

Hogwarts was a bit of a gossip chain, filled with juicy news passed through the grapevine no doubt starting from Danae and her group of singing canaries. Word migrated throughout the castle rather easily. It was as if the old walls had ears (which technically they did since the paintings and portraits seemed to have nothing better to do than to gossip along with the students, eavesdropping).

James, Sirius, Peter, and Remus had made it back to the Gryffindor Common Room late the evening of December 29th; the trip back from the Infirmary at St. Mungos to the familiar Common Room was a nice change of scenery, one that was easy on the eyes for a start. Sirius hd his ribs magically healed and bandaged together, the wound closing but still scarring and sending off phantom pains from the dark magic still left inside him. The pain still got to him even after days since the incident occurred.

It was New Year's Eve and everyone was enjoying a bit of old spirit and joy but something about the celebration seemed off, even for the Gryffindors. When there would sometimes be Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs (rarely any Slytherins) at the party in the Common Room in the Gryffindor Tower, it was only the Gryffindors. There was no inter-house mingling like their often was, which meant there was something certainly different.

"It's like we're splitting off," Remus said to James, whispering hastily as a group of fourth year girls walked past him. "It's all Gryffindors here."

"Maybe that's not a bad thing?" James tried, a smile twitching his lips. "After all we have just been through, can we have a moment to enjoy life, too?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm not saying you shouldn't but isn't that something that sparks your curiosity?" Remus mumbled, shuffling his feet on the ground awkwardly. "But I don't want it to seem like I am way over analyzing this."

James just patted Remus on the shoulder and steered Sirius moved to a group of girls, which all happened to be Mary MacDonald, Emmeline Vance, Dorcas Meadowes, and Marlene McKinnon. Remus was about to tag along but a hand on his shoulder blade made him stop. Turning, he came face to face with Lily Evans, an old friend of his he would always treasure close.

"Where do you think you're going, Remus?" Lily asked playfully, eyes glinting happily in the dim light.

"Here, there, a bit of everywhere," Remus jested and soon forgot all about his troubles and doubts. Talking to Lily was like a cursed blessing in which she was the perfect friend, which made it hard for him to focus on anything else. However, he did frown. "Are you going to ask about the holiday?"

"Wouldn't dream of it since I'm already hearing enough about it throughout this castle," Lily said earnestly, pulling her hair up and out of her face. "And I bet you are tired of getting asked the same questions over and over again."

"Merlin, someone who understands!" Remus exclaimed and put a hand on Lily's shoulder, steering her away from the crowd a bit. This would have raised some eyebrows and questions, but it was strictly platonic.

"Want to dance?" Lily asked randomly, grabbing Remus's hand and interweaving their fingers together. "Come on!"

Remus pulled a face but he didn't protest when Lily dragged him to the dancing crowd, jumping up and down to the beat of the music, shaking her hair wild, and her hand raised up in the air above her head in celebration. Remus started gyrating his shoulders, grabbing the attention of a few watchers nearby. He was good at keeping a rhythm to his movements, raising his bottle of firewhiskey in the air, swiveling his hips and shoulders, definitely attracting the attention of many more. James and Sirius cheered Remus on from a different place on the dance floor. The two friends had their hands on each other, dancing a bit drunkenly on each other, spreading their legs suggestively the best they could with James's still sore injuries.

Peter somehow lost his shirt and was on the couch that was pushed to the back of the Common Room, somehow with Emmeline Vance tangled in his arms (despite the fact she had recently agreed to go on a singular date with Remus in the past. However, let drunken bygones be bygones.). Sirius had no shortage of girls hanging off his arms and clinging to his shoulders, running their hands up and down his torso, feeling him and his rather preferable physique. Sirius was not shy to the attention either and seemed rather entertained and happy to soak it up. The attention just seemed to make his ego blow to the ceiling.

Remus turned and saw Lily dancing, jumping up and down while Frank had his hands on her hips. While somewhere in his rational mind he knew this was platonic, he felt his face burning red as he spotted the two together. Perhaps he had not quite gotten used to the fact Frank was going to be around a lot more lately. He had, after all, stolen Alice Prewett from him even if she was never really his to lose. The last thing Remus wanted was to be replaced by Frank with Lily; he had been replaced once by the same bloke.

"Oi," Remus said, stepping up to Frank with a genuine ghost of a smile. "I think Alice is getting lonely."

Frank chuckled and suddenly Remus remembered all the reasons why he simply loved Frank. He was a loyal friend and a true support that he needed in his life. Frank was just someone he wanted to treasure as a friend; Remus was not going to throw it all away because of a couple of girls for he was better than that.

"Right, right," Frank said and patted Remus on the shoulder. "Where even did she end up going?"

"No idea," Remus said honestly, shrugging and looking around. "Oh, she's over there."

Frank followed Remus's gaze and smiled as Alice became visible once more. Whether he was ever going to admit this to himself outwardly, Alice and Frank were very much a perfect couple for one another, something Remus envied himself.

"I don't want to make a scene," Remus said as Lily slid up beside him, raising both eyebrows. "Sorry."

"Have I told you lately that I love you," Lily said and pecked his cheek, wrapping one arm around his waist. "You're like my brother. I appreciate your protectiveness but try not to be that overprotective brother otherwise I get to play overprotective sister when you find someone you love."

Remus snorted but not because Lily was threatening to pull the overprotective sister roleplay. Rather, he was snickering because he could not imagine himself falling in love with someone and not being able to hide his condition from his lover for more than a month or two.

"You already do play overprotective sister," Remus said with a smile. "Which I appreciate, mind you, but don't worry, I…"

Remus trailed off when he spotted James wildly flailing his arms, jumping out and down until his glasses quite literally slipped off his nose. Granted James was a little intoxicated so whatever he was doing seemed to be amplified by ten-fold. Remus raised both eyebrows in confusion at James's little game of charades (a game at which he was never good at) and mouthed: what?

James pointed to Lily then gave in and started walking towards them. Lily, on the other hand, had no idea what was going on behind her and merely stared at Remus in confusion, his lips in a frown.

"What?" she asked.

"He was just talking to me," James said from behind, making Lily whip around. There he was, standing with a large grin on his face. "Ace, Evans. How are you?"

"Potter," Lily groaned, half of real annoyance and half of exasperation. She rolled her eyes and put her hands on her hips. "What do you want? If you're asking me on a date, forget it."

"How about a New Year's Resolution?" James compromised, wiggling his eyebrows up and down. "Oi, Evans?"

"What, Potter?" Lily asked now in exasperation.

"How about I...stop hexing Snape and you go on a date with me," James said, puffing out his chest. Again, Remus noticed just how deep James's voice got and the way he kept ruffling his hair as if he were afraid for it to get too neat. "Sounds like a deal?"

"You shouldn't be hexing anyone anyway," Lily pointed out with a grunt, her lips pulling down in a frown. "So what kind of deal is that anyway?"

"You tend to overcomplicate things, Evans," James insisted, looking cool by leaning against the wall, hands shoved in the pockets of his trousers. He wore that easy lopsided smile that often had girls melting into a puddle (nearly every girl except Lily).

"How about this," Remus said, unable to take any more failing flirting. "Lily, you talk about needing help in Transfiguration. I know a bloke who's great at Transfiguration. So, how about James, you tutor Lily in Transfiguration."

Both James and Lily looked at Remus.

"That way you are talking but about something...more academic related," Remus said, mostly looking at Lily. James would have been satisfied just sitting on the ground and looking at Lily from afar or up close. He could not care less what he would do as long as he was with Lily. The redhead, however, had her own idea.

"How about no," she said right away, throwing her hand up and dismissing the idea without a second's thought.

"He could really help," Remus said and raised both eyebrows at Lily, trying to make her see the sense in his idea.

Lily seemed to Remus and Sirius were lounging about on the window sill of the fifth floor corridor. It was a little after midnight, have give in but she never admit to saying yes or no. All she did was merely drop her shoulders in response then go back to talking to someone else, leaving Reus and James to stare at each other without a word.

"You're welcome," Remus muttered as he began to walk in the opposite direction. "I think I just played Cupid and set you two up."

James's eyes widened at the idea and rubbed his wrist awkwardly.

"So do you reckon I could get her to like me if I help her?" he asked, even sounding a bit nervous.

"If you don't act arrogant," Remus warned, looking at James seriously. "Give her a real reason to like you, James. Don't blow it because it took a lot for me to agree."

James threw his hands up in surrender and nodded, deciding the good news could wait and he could tell Sirius and Peter later.

* * *

Remus and Sirius were perched on the window sill in one of the fifth floor corridors, picking at their own nails and awkwardly looking out dusty windows. Nothing much was said between the two of them at first, which Reus could not complain about, but Sirius began something.

"So I might know something you don't," he said and rubbed his arm awkwardly, refusing to meet Remus's eye. "So, you know Frank and Alice have been together for ages, right?"

Remus nodded, still not quite sure where this was going.

"Cool," the sixth year werwolf said with a little nod to go with it.

"They're...actually engaged," Sirius said then added in a quieter voice, "surprise!"

Remus took a few moments to process what he had just been told. Something about Alice being engaged to Frank seemed so satisfying and joyful yet something still stirred in his heart, something he swore would never be reawakened. However, it did not last long for he merely shrugged, pretending he did not care.

"I've got to congratulate them both then," he insisted, looking around. "Where are they? And when are they actually getting married?"

Sirius looked a little confused at all the mixed signals Remus was sending but he played along and shrugged.

"I dunno where they are currently but I know they are not planning on getting officially married until school is completely over," he said and eyed himself in the reflection of the window. "Why do you care? Do you reckon we'll be invited to the wedding?"

"Sure, we're friends," Remus said, frowning and knitting his eyebrows. "Why wouldn't we be invited?"

"Because of what's been going on, mate," Sirius said as if it was the most obvious answer in the world. "With Voldemort rising to power and killing sprees? You're not at least a little worried?"

"Of course I am," Remus said logically but he smoothed down his tie calmly. "But just because there's something dark above us, doesn't mean we have to stop living our lives."

"It makes a difference," Sirius pointed out.

"Thank Merlin," Remus said with a shrug. "If it didn't make a difference, what would be the point? Look, what's happening now should not stop anyone from living their lives."

Sirius looked at Remus as if he sprouted another head that was a Snape head. He could not fathom Remus's logic but he did not try to disprove it; he embraced it and tried letting himself believe they would all come alive out of this fight. Reus was just so sure everyone was going to be okay, it was hard to go against such faith and to destroy it with the reality.

"Happy New Year," Sirius said suddenly, breaking the silence with a bit of a smile. "Here's to another year gone by. So far sixth year has been a bit like Hell but we're still here and going through it. We'll see where these next few ew years take us."

"Right we will," Remus said, coming over to sit by Sirius, his arm immediately going to nudge Sirius in the side. "And we'll all be there. The Marauders will be there and be together."

Sirius truly did appreciate Remus's encouragement and faith in their group of friends and if Sirius had half the heart and mind to believe in the future as well, he would have had to give Remus a lot more credit for being realistic. Even Remus knew his status in the wizarding world makes him a very easy target, but least Sirius could do for his friend was to offer him the support he needs.

"Still talking about heading underground?" Sirius asked after a pregnant pause.

"No, I guess not," Remus said earnestly, shaking his head a bit dismally. He seemed so disappointed. "That was just me blowing off steam, mate. I'm far more logic and rational than that. I'm still worried though."

"About your Aunt Beatrice? I would be, too, so I don't blame you there. Only the way you almost chose to deal with it," Sirius muttered under his breath and rubbed his eyes wearily.

"That's rich coming from the imp himself," Remus said with mirth, his eyes alight with amusement. "But yeah, I get it. I...won't do anything impulsively as long as you and James don't."

"We have no plans," Sirius said and smiled a little. "Besides the Quidditch practice, we talk Hogwarts, and the future...what we will choose to do."

"Yeah, and being the Minister's mattress tester isn't legit," Remus said with a bit of a laugh, throwing a good natured smile in his direction.

"I feel like you don't appreciate me or my good ideas," Sirius said, half joking but actually being half serious. He folded his arms over his chest, unable to believe that he just said that out loud. Remus was the master at reading him like a book.

"Of course I appreciate you," Remus said, sounding a little exasperated at the comment made against him. "If I didn't appreciate you, I wouldn't be here."

Sirius raised his gaze towards Remus and felt a scowl forming on his features.

Remus sighed and tossed his book aside, having it land neatly on the floor below their feet. He leaned forward, nudging Sirius's feet as he did so to get the other to look at him.

"Oi, come here, Padfoot," Remus said, hopping down lightly and beckoning Sirius. "Get your arse over here."

Sirius, curious, jumped down and leaned against the wall, arms still folded over his chest as he looked a little defensive for saying or insinuating such a thing.

"Mate," Remus said calmly, seemingly not commenting about any of it. He merely walked up to Sirius and pulled his arms away. "Of course I appreciate you. You're my best mate."

Sirius opened his mouth to retort, but Remus was already wrapping his arms around his friend, curling them around his friend's neck and letting his hand grip Sirius's shoulder. The embrace was warm and meaningful, something Sirius needed. The telepathy sent between the two could never be shared but the emotions and thoughts the two were having were all the same. Sirius was glad Remus was his friend for in reality, he could not ask for a better one.

"I love you, Remus," Sirius said, hooking his arm around Remus's neck and returning the embrace. "You're my brother. _I love you, paws, claws, flaws, and all._ "

Remus would deny it later but he could feel a few tears well up in his eyes.

* * *

Lily, walking past, spotted Remus and Sirius out after hours. The Prefect inside her made her want to bust them for breaking curfew, but when she saw the two speaking softly, most likely conversing about something important, she lost the heart and will to do so. Instead, she merely glanced from around the corner as the two embraced one another. With a small and content smile, Lily walked in the opposite direction, deciding she would not interrupt them (if anyone asked, she did not see them. Hogwarts is a big castle after all.).

"Evans?"

Lily nearly jumped a mile into the air, whipping around to snap at the person who scared her half to death. She narrowed her bright green eyes at none other than…

"Potter, really?" Lily huffed in exasperation, a scowl forming on her lips. "Are you really going to stand out here and expect me not to yell at you for being out here after hours?"

"But you're here after hours," James pointed out, stuffing his hands in the pockets of his trousers, a bit of a sappy and dopey look on his face as he stared at Lily. "So what does that make you?"

"I happen to be a Prefect, Potter, something you are not," Lily said proudly, pointing to her shiny badge, which she wore with dignity.

"Well, I won't impede on your pretend investigation," James said cheekily, throwing his hands up and beginning to back away. "I was just going to ask when you wanted to start that Transfiguration essay."

"This isn't an investigation," Lily said in agitation then paused. "Wait, what essay?"

"The essay we would work on together?" James said but said it in a form of a question. He was almost positive they had agreed on doing it and he was not delusional. "You said you wanted some help with those essays and I said I'm eligible to help."

"Okay, that was Remus's idea," Lily pointed out, hand on her hip but she gave in (even if it did seem like she was hardly putting up a fight). "But how about tomorrow then? After Astronomy at 9:00? Can we meet then in the Common Room and start it?"

"The Common Room will be busy," James said with a wave of his hand. "I know a better place. Just come with me after Astronomy. I'll show you."

Lily fought back a smile and merely nodded, turning away to break off the conversation with James. She simply did not have the heart to tell him the Common Room was almost always pretty quiet that late at night but something made her hold her tongue...

* * *

 **Padfoot123321: James and Lily are going to get together because of both Sirius and Remus I have decided.**

 **AlanahLouise: Ah, sorry, the previous stories sound like they were written by an inebriated two year old. I promised I would go back to edit and fix them in other words but...my shifts at the ER are crazy.**

 **Destinyandchicken11: I'm really glad you're still liking this story. That's what I love to hear.**

 **Padfoot123321: I'm a little confused about the recent comment and what it meant but sounds like a fun holiday! And thank you!**


	31. In the Hopes of Rising

**All rights remain.**  
 **Sheesh, this year seems to be going on for eons! Sorry it's turning out to be like a never ending novel.**

New Year's rolled by smoothly, the Gryffindors were together celebrating the new upcomings and the prospect a new year would bring. However, the ephemeral joy the holiday brought soon dissipated as the reality began to sink in, grasping everyone in its icy clutch. January seemed to be the coldest month yet, even more so than December. The snow, which was usually plush and soft, was slippery, cold, and icy.

"Another death, eh?" Peter asked, scuffling the ground with his toe. He grabbed a piece of his toast and stuffed it in his mouth.

"Yeah, a bit personal, too," Remus said fretfully, reading over the short story that came with the moving image of a smiling woman. "Madam Rosmerta's best friend was murdered by a group of Death Eaters a few miles out of Dufftown."

Sirius and James both looked up from their meal eating to stare at Remus, their eyes both wide and curious.

"No," James said, shaking his head at the tragedy. "Madam Rosmerta's best mate was murdered this weekend?"

"Not too long ago," Remus said with a sad tone of voice. "She was killed yesterday. Just yesterday."

"We should see how she is," Sirius said, swallowing his mouthful of cinnamon porridge. "I bet she's not taking the news well."

"Who would?" Remus pointed out but stuffed the Daily Prophet into his book bag, swinging it on one shoulder and rising to his feet. "I say we head out now just in case she decides to...I dunno...go?"

"Go where?" Peter wondered out loud.

"I dunno but I bet she's not going to stay here for a while," Remus pointed out logically. "She probably wants to be with...her own family and other friends."

"Isn't it kind of shite how casual and immune even to all the deaths in the Daily Prophet nowadays. Granted people die everyday but it's still depressing to think," James said, summarizing what they had all been thinking for the past few weeks. As frightful as it was, it was true.

"Madam Rosmerta," Remus said, his eyebrows raised expectantly. It was clear yet not obvious Remus was pointedly avoiding that question.

The walk to The Three Broomsticks included a frosty stroll through the skin numbing wind. They kept their heads bent and their hands tucked deeply into the pockets of their winter jackets. They walked in silence, not saying a word and no one daring to breach the vigil of silence.

The Three Broomsticks, for the first time, was dark and rather depressing looking. Remus was the first to enter, followed by James, then Peter, and lastly Sirius. The four boys knocked gently on the already open door, realizing that the place was actually completely empty.

"I'm closed!" came a voice from behind the counter.

And despite the darkness, Remus could see the clear outline of Madam Rosmerta behind the counter, sitting on a stool wib her head in her arms. It sounded like she had been crying for quite some time. His heart ached for the kind pub owner.

"Madam Rosmerta, it's James," James said, speaking up first.

"And me," Sirius chimed in, raising his hand in the darkness.

Madam Rosmerta paused and smiled a little as she tearfully dried her eyes. Sitting up, she waved her wand, which was resting on the table beside her, and let the dim candle glow light up the pub.

Madam Rosmerta looked a little tough around the edges. Her hair was unruly and her eyes reddened, she seemed a bit unkempt.

"We heard what had happened," Remus said in a gentle and soothing voice. "And we wanted to come by to see how you were doing and how you're holding up."

"Thanks, boys," Madam Rosmerta said with a watery smile. She looked grateful for the gesture. "She….was my best friend. I miss her so much already. How long before it breaks?"

"What breaks?" Sirius asked, passed the emotional comfort. "What do you mean?"

"This world," Madam Rosmerta said and waved weakly to the pub in general. "We are becoming….divided among one another."

"The world isn't split between good people and Death Eaters," Sirius muttered, his mind flashing to his brother. "There's good and bad."

"There's both light and dark in us all," James said helpfully, feeling a little wiser just saying that.

"Regardless of what side we are on, remember this," Remus said and raised a hand to get everyone's attention. "Were both heading for the same finish line so let's make sure we get there first. To end this race."

James and Sirius both looked at Remus, glad the bloke was speaking up for once. Madam Rosmerta, however, looked the most grateful of them all. Perhaps she was glad the four boys were finally growing up. She remembered seeing them in their first year, breaking the rules and sneaking into Hogsmeade. She remembered how she was so close to telling the Headmaster but their company soon became something she looked forward to very much. Madam Rosmerta looked at the corner subtly, remembering a drunken Sirius curled up, crying, broken and lost without his friends. She remembered when Remus took the bottle and smashed it against the wall, making her shriek, but also knowing it was to make a point.

All those memories came flooding back and it almost physically hurt her. The emotional wave that came crashing along with the flashbacks made her heart swell for these boys. With a little cry, she opened her arms and summoned all four boys into her arms, embracing them all at once (or attempting to at least).

Remus's arm came around her waist and James's arm came around her shoulders. The five of them stood like that for a while before breaking off and taking a step back.

"Thanks, boys," Madam Rosmerta said with a little smile. "Thanks."

"That sounds like a goodbye," Remus said, frowning deeply as he looked at Madam Rosmerta with those blue eyes. "Is it?"

"I don't think I'll be back before your term ends," Madam Rosmerta decided, looking at her pub with a deep sense of sadness. "I can't...I am going to need time to...recover. I'm sorry, boys."

Sirius's eyes actually welled with tears as he took a step towards the witch.

"I'm sorry, Sirius, I know I promised I would be there for you," Madam Rosmerta said, pulling Sirius into a hug. "Stay out of trouble though."

"Who else will be there to care for my drunken arse?" Sirius rasped, hugging her back tightly, unable to believe he was saying goodbye to Madam Rosmerta so early.

"Your friends, but you'll make sure you won't get drunk irresponsibly," Madam Rosmerta said tearfully, pulling Sirius back in a hug when he pulled away. "Merlin's beard, I'll miss you, Sirius. I truly will. I best see you chipper and bright next term."

"You will," Sirius vowed. "Thanks, Rosmerta….for….for everything."

Madam Rosmerta pecked his cheek and embraced the others tightly, giving them all quick kisses on the cheek.

"Take care," she said finally. "Okay?"

"We'll stick together," James said with a simple nod.

* * *

James drummed his fingers so nervously on the table, Madam Pince came over (stomped over) and yelled at him twice for being too loud. James rolled his eyes both times but he managed to keep himself a bit quieter as he waited. The night with Madam Rosmerta got him shaken and a little absentminded, leaving him distracted.

"I'm sorry!" came a breathless voice. The sound of bustling feet interrupted his thoughts, shattering his mental philosophy. "Sorry, Potter."

James looked up to see Lily running towards him, books in her arms and hair going wild. She still looked beautiful in his eyes.

"Oh, no that's fine," James said hastily, sitting up in his chair. "I've only been waiting for like two minutes."

That was not a lie but how she felt the need to apologize made James's heart flutter….more like do crazy jumping jacks and flips and flops.

"Professor Sprout wouldn't stop talking and as much as I enjoy her class," Lily said then sprawled her things out on the table, including her essay that was half finished.

James was still gaping like a fish out of water, his mouth opening and closing. He was also creepily staring at Lily as she tried to get herself situated. It was almost unheard of to see Lily so unruly and unorganized, it made him feel like he was a special case (even though he knew he was not). Lily paused in her flurry of movements and raised her eyebrows at him.

"Potter," she said a bit shortly.

"Sorry," James muttered, looking away and flipping open his own textbook (which was actually Remus's on lease). "So...how far did you get on the essay?"

"I'm almost done," Lily said earnestly, pulling out the piece of parchment from her pile of things and showing it to him. "I just need a conclusion. But I wanted to see if…"

"If I could what?" James prompted, noticing the red tinge to Lily's cheeks.

"Edit," she muttered under her breath. "I was wondering if you could edit this for me. Remus said you would be good at that...so…"

"Yeah," James said hastily and for once without a single hint of arrogance. "Just give me a few to read this over."

Lily just nodded, saying nothing else. She stared at her textbook and not him (sadly), waiting for him to finish reading her work before he began to edit a sentence or two here and there. Lily expected this session to be a lot worse, which meant she expected him to ask her out a million times. But so far, nothing of the sort had come up yet. A very long and oddly painful six or seven minutes passed without a word ever uttered but on that eighth minute, when James spoke, the atmosphere felt very tense.

"I dunno what you're talking about, it's great," James said, setting her paper down flat against the table. "You are just missing a few details and points in your essay."

Lily tilted her head.

"Such as?"

"A stronger thesis," James listed off his head. "The second paragraph could have a better idea statement and set up following it. The example is amazing but just make sure you add how it all began. McGonagall loves the history of these spells and why they were first used. It helps explain the importance of that spell and helps prove the fact these spells are still used today."

Lily did not want to admit it but it sounded like James really knew what he was talking about.

"Thanks...Potter, for helping me that is," Lily said.

"Hang on, I can still help," James offered, not sounding full of himself at all. He sounded genuine.

"Like….writing this or setting it up?" Lily asked, trying not to sound too eager. "If so, then I would really owe you."

James nodded.

"Easy and simple fixes," he said honestly. "It was great from the beginning."

Lily was never going to admit how much James seemed to change at this moment. He seemed more mature, which gave her a strange tingling sensation, something she would later blame for lack of good food in the past few hours.

Lily watched James work, saying nothing and keeping quiet. He explained in detail what happened and what went wrong on her essay and how she could easily fix it. The two sat in silence, only talking when they had to about what they needed to get done.

Much to Lily's surprise, the time had flown past without much thought. They had lost track of time and it was well into the evening before they ever looked up and stopped what they were doing.

"W-what time is it?" Lily asked, startled.

"3:00," James said then cursed, rising to his feet. "I've...I've got Quidditch practice, Evans."

Lily nodded for a moment then waved him off, standing up as well. She began to collect her things and James was afraid he offended her; however, he saw the smile she wore and the gleam in her eyes.

"Thanks, Potter," Lily said, still sounding very professional though. "For your help that is. You've done loads for me...so thanks."

James was nearly a puddle on the floor.

"So in return for helping me, am I allowed to...watch your Quidditch practice?" Lily asked, situating the books in her arms. She flicked a stray strand of red hair out of her emerald eyes and raised an elegant eyebrow in question.

"Y-yeah," James stuttered, completely in shock. "Yeah, that'd be...that'd be great."

Lily smiled and nodded, swinging her book bag on one shoulder and pushing in her chair. She smoothed down her skirt and inhaled deeply, flashing James a hasty ghost of a smile.

"So I'll see you down there," she said, gripping her shoulder strap of her book bag tightly.

James watched Lily exit the library and head off in a different direction. James was practically racing towards his dormitory, bursting with excitement and energy. It had all happened so fast, it was like he could fly. His feet felt like they barely touched the floor, skimming it gracefully as he whisked up the stairs, nearly running into his friends along the way. Remus was the first to react, reaching out to steady James before he fell down the stairs.

"What?" he asked with a chuckle. "Aren't you a little late for something?"

"Evans is going to be there!" James said, nearly shouting.

The Fat Lady glared at James for making such a ruckus.

Remus nodded in understanding, putting the pieces together. Something however, in his mixture of happiness for his friend, started nagging in the back of his mind. It was like a little person was kicking his brain repeatedly, trying to gain his attention.

"I'll be down there, too," Remus said and offered James a hasty smile. "Padfoot's already down there flying around. I can't believe you're practicing in this weather though, Prongs. It's bloody cold out there."

"Don't get frostbite," Peter chimed in.

"Good advice," James and Remus said together.

Peter grinned.

"Anyway, we'll be fine," James snorted, waving a hand dismally at Remus's concern. "I've made the team go through worse and I sure went through worse than a cold wind in January."

Remus threw his hands up and nodded, not bothering to argue with that. He clearly recalled the practice James made him sit through in the pouring rain and eventual hailing hail. He waved goodbye to James and made his own way down to the Quidditch Pitch.

Cold as it was, Remus promised he would make an appearance so he found himself trekking through the dense snow to get to the Quidditch Pitch. It was a bit of a hike and rather exhausting, especially in the deep snow, but he was not going to complain since they were bringing food down at the pitch.

As soon as he headed beneath the wooden stands, Lily instantly greeted him, waving a hand as she raced up to him. Remus felt a smile replace his frown and he met her halfway.

"Oi, you got James in a really good mood," Remus commented, realizing that may not have been the best greeting. "How'd you do it? Sirius and Peter have both been trying to get James to act like this for ages."

Lily raised an eyebrow then ended up raising the other.

"What are you talking about now, Remus?" she asked, almost impatiently.

"I take it the study session went well?" Remus asked, raising an eyebrow.

Lily never answered that question.

And two hours later, they were cheering on the Gryffindor Quidditch team, clapping enthusiastically at all the wonderful moves the players of the team performed. They were spectacular at the dives and dodges, aiming and passing, it was all a rush and even sitting on the stands, everyone was energized by the flurry of all the movement.

"Why'd you come, Lily?" Remus asked as soon as they quieted down. "You usually don't show much of an interest in Quidditch."

"Well, you don't either," Lily pointed out, trying to deviate from the conversation topic. "So why do you head down here?"

"Two of my best mates are on this team," Remus pointed out smoothly and without a moment's hesitation. "So what's your story?"

Lily sighed, her shoulders sagging.

"Look, Potter did _one_ nice thing for me so I thought I'd...I dunno, return the favor," she muttered.

What was going on? Remus was left to ponder this question for ages; even when the team flew down to the dressing rooms to get cleaned up and to hike it back to the castle, Remus was so distracted, still thinking what all this could mean.

Was Lily close to accepting James's arrogant personality? Was she beginning to enjoy James's company? No, she did not go that far but Remus was shocked at how much Lily's attitude towards James had changed. It seemed almost too surreal after all those years of spite and hatred, Lily was less spiteful and hateful towards James. It was too strange for him at least.

"I told you," James said that night, his voice carrying through the darkness.

"Told me what?" Remus snorted, rolling over to his side.

"Evans would come to see reason," James said with a hint of happiness, pride, and genuine hope all mingled in his tone. It was hard to tell which was the most pronounced of the three.

"Hm," Remus replied then added, "there's one thing you are right on. You don't know when to quit."

* * *

 **To be honest, I was like half asleep when I wrote the majority of this. I'm trying to introduce minor Jily where they can get along strictly when it's on school.**

 **Destinyandchicken11: I still love to hear from you. I hope you are enjoying this. I forgot to ask. Who is your favorite Marauder?**

 **Padfoot123321: Oh, that makes sense.**

 **Remus 1889: Ah, now I get it.**

 **Again, I'd write better messages but I'm dead tired and half paying attention to what I'm typing. I am so glad for all those who are leaving their opinions somewhere where I can read them. I'm glad people are enjoying this story and I thanketh thee for reading.**


	32. It's Valentine's Day Already!

**All rights remain.**

"Happy—"

"If you say it, so help me."

"Happy..."

"Padfoot. I. Am. Warning. You."

"Val—"

"Prongs!"

"En—"

"Really, Wormtail?"

"Tine's—"

"Oi!"

"—DAY!"

Remus clapped his hands over his ears, trying to enjoy his breakfast instead of being bombarded by voices more annoying than the ones found in greeting cards or hanging in the walls of the castle (aka as the portraits).

"Don't be so lame, Moony, enjoy this holiday," James cooed in his ear, poking him in the arm repeatedly. "This is a very special time you can shamelessly snog all the lovely girls and blokes here."

Remus wrinkled his nose for the idea of snogging anyone here made him roll his eyes and wrinkle his nose with a taste of dislike. He folded his arms over his chest crossly and shook his head albeit patiently.

"I told you, this isn't a holiday I acknowledge or celebrate," Remus said firmly, not caving into Sirius or James's begging and imploring face. "Therefore I do not care about it nor do I want to waste my day with your games."

"Games?" Sirius echoed, gasping in mock horror. He shook his head, looking theatrically disappointing. "My friend, this is not just some game I am going to propose to you. In fact, it isn't a game at all."

"Really?" Remus asked skeptically. He had every right to be wary for every time Sirius said something like that, he would always be vague with the details until Remus gave in and then told him the real plan. "I feel like you're not telling the truth."

"Or all of it," Peter snickered.

"Look, I just need some help setting up the Common Room for Frank and Alice. They asked if I could arrange them something since they were out of ideas," Seamus explained, talking swiftly as he did. "I promised I'd help Frank at least surprise Alice."

"Wait, when there was a relationship problem, they went to you?" Remus asked, shocked. It was not because Sirius was an untrustworthy problem solver, that was not the case. It was because everyone assumed Sirius wanted this day for himself. "Really?"

"Don't worry," Sirius said earnestly, exhaling loudly in a dramatic sigh. "I'm not lying," Sirius said with a roll of his eyes. "Honestly, I would expect you to put some trust into your best mate."

"Enough, Padfoot," Remus said impatiently but not unkindly. There was still levity in his tone as the werewolf made sure there was. "What do you need help with?"

"I told you, Alice and Frank," Sirius said then paused. He seemed to be doing some quick thinking for he added very quickly, "you don't have to if you really don't want to. That's completely fine."

"I'll help," Remus reassured, waving Sirius's concern off with a hand. Though a little more on the shy side and quiet, Sirius could read him easily (just as easily as Remus read him). "I'm not worried or going to ever fly into a jealous fit of rage."

"I know, but I was just worried you might get offended," Sirius muttered under his breath, shaking his head. "Look, what Alice did to you wasn't okay with me. It still isn't."

"And it's over and done with. Now Alice and I are good friends," Remus said pointedly, still wearing that small and worn out smile. It was not the most dazzling of smiles Remus ever had on but it was one that was always genuine. "I'm really not peeved off about it."

"Good," Sirius said with a nod. "The last thing we need is another Gideon and Fabian incident."

"Incident?" Remus echoed in disbelief. "Try having the two twins split up for more than half the term and then get into a huge fight and drag you into the middle of it."

"That was when I first saw you ever drink," Sirius commented fairly, shrugging a little as he looked at his friend out of the corner of his eye. "Which I definitely don't know about."

Remus rolled his eyes and shook his head.

"You're ridiculous," the sixth year werewolf said bluntly, but once again, he was not speaking unkindly or disrespectfully. It was still full of fondness.

"So you'll help," Sirius concluded, his smile getting bigger and bigger.

When Remus nodded as an answer, Sirius leaped into Remus's arms and cooed happily, ruffling Remus's hair and crowing on a about the amazingness of his friend Remus John Lupin.

"All right," Remus said pointedly. "So what's the plan exactly."

"That's just it," Sirius broke the news, drumming his fingers against his knee, looking thoughtful. "What if we go for a theme."

"Yeah, Valentine's Day," Remus said, tapping his temple to make his point more emphasized for his friend. "It's the bloody holiday."

"I know but that's cliché," Sirius mumbled, frowning as he regarded his friend. "How about something like….magical forest romance?"

"Wat the bloody hell are you talking about?" Remus snorted. "Besides, you're helping me, I've decided. I'm not doing this alone."

"Yeah, yeah," Sirius muttered, waving a hand in understanding. "So here's what I've been thinking about lately…"

* * *

Peter groaned, stiffening and pulling back. He regretted allowing James to help him put on a pair of nice trousers and a nice shirt to match. He regrettably admitted to fancying a nice Ravenclaw girl a year below them. Piper was a bit of an ordinary girl in James's words but perfect for Peter because he preferred simple anyway. She was, however, very intelligent, which made Peter a little nervous. He, himself, was not the brightest and going on a date with one of the brightest made him all nervous.

"Don't worry," James insisted, yanking Peter's shirt down farther fixing the collar. "You'll be fine, mate. Just remember, don't creep her out."

"That helps," Peter mumbled then looked up at James with widened eyes. "What does that mean? How would I creep her out?"

"Don't do anything you wouldn't do," James said in compendium, deciding that was explanation enough. "Like, don't say anything that you would regret later. Appropriately."

Peter groaned; this date was going to be a disaster and he was going to be the lonely Peter Pettigrew for the rest of his existence. He almost gave in and threw the shirt off, calling it quits. But James was persistent and as always, persistence always won.

"So, your date starts in about ten so start heading down to the Greenhouse," James said and frowned, tapping his chin. "Bit of an odd place to be meeting up if you ask me."

"She's got an affinity with plants," Peter said indifferently with a shrug. "I'm in no place to judge. Anyway, so I look all right, mate?"

"Yeah," James said, folding his arms over his chest and taking a step back. "Hold it right there and let's get you into the light."

Peter rolled his eyes at his friend's antics but his insides were squirming, leaving him slightly green and nauseous. This was simply not his thing.

"Mate, relax," James said, standing up straighter with a genuine frown this time. "You look bloody sick to your stomach. Can you please not vomit on your date today?"

Peter rubbed his eyes wearily, deciding this was never going to work if he did not have James to be there for him.

"I need your help," he said anxiously, looking at James for a sense of support. "Like I need you there!"

James groaned, too.

"Not _on_ the date," he said fearfully. He had his own plans to do today. He was meant to ask Lily out on a date until she gave in.

"Please, Prongs?" Peter begged, clapping his hands together in a prayer. "Please, please don't let me sink! Don't let me crash and burn in front of the girl I fancy!"

James's face fell.

"I mean, it's not that bad," James muttered, knowing the exact feeling of crashing and burning in front of the girl he fancied. But he found himself caving in at Peter's desperation. "FINE!"

Peter's face instantly brightened; he carried himself with confidence for Merlin's sake the entire time he was heading out to find Piper.

James was left to trail behind James when the two met up in the arranged place. His shoulders sagged as Peter and Piper talked, acting like they had known each other for their entire lives. He really had no idea why he was there to monitor his friend, but he just could not say no.

Peter eventually gained the confidence to take her hand in his, interlacing their fingers. James resisted the urge to ditch. The walk to Hogsmeade was no more fun than he would have imagined. It was cold, windy, and simply boring.

Peter and Piper were busy with each other they were not paying any attention to him.

And in Hogsmeade, they were sitting at a table for two, laughing over their butterbeer. Madam Rosmerta had brought in a replacement, named Helena, who worked in place. Helena was thoughtful and kind but James sure missed Madam Rosmerta. At least if Madam Rosmerta was here, he would have been able to talk to her.

"When I was invited to tag along on this date, I didn't know it would be like this," James muttered to his mug of butterbeer. Now he wished he brought someone with him.

He was sitting at a table alone, arms folded over his chest and elbows resting on the table. He stared into the warm liquid that tasted like a butterscotch shake warmed up. But for some reason the butterbeer just was not helping to improve his mood at all.

And then he heard something that made his ears prick up.

"I wouldn't have imagined!"

James knew that voice because he knew that voice anywhere. His eyes scanned the small pub and finally landed on Miss Evans with a bloke he knew was a year above them. James's blood boiled with rage, jealously, and a deep sadness.

Just as he was about to walk up to them, Peter called James over with a wave of his hand, a smile on his face.

"This is James," Peter introduced his friend to his date, Piper. "Potter. He's one of my best mates along with Sirius and Remus."

"Really," Piper said in genuine fascination. "I've seen you lot around yeah of course. You're the one who pulls all those pranks on Snape."

"Well, I try," James muttered albeit he sounded absentminded. He was still eyeing Lily and that new bloke holding her hand. "Er, it was nice to meet you, too, Piper. Peter's been really excited for this date."

"Oh," Piper said in surprise, turning to look at Peter now. "You never told me you were excited."

"Surprise," Peter said with a little laugh. "Yeah, I've been looking forward to this. Anyway, Prongs, are you okay?"

James tore his eyes away from Lily and New Bloke for a few moments to look at Peter and Piper. He had to admit the two looked very nice together, a simple pairing that matched well. Peter never looked happier (beside the time he became an Animagus).

"Fine," James said and let his eyes flicker towards where Lily and New Bloke were sitting. The sight he found them in now and currently almost made him sick.

Lily and New Bloke were snogging.

* * *

"Candle!" Sirius shouted, dancing around Remus, who was trying to light another candle. The two were twisting around one another, getting tangled in a flurry of limbs as the time was drawing nearer. Sirius promised Frank he would help set up the perfect date right in the Gryffindor Common Room.

This meant chasing people out of the Common Room….even if they were Gryffindor.

"Get out!" Remus barked then added a hasty apology afterward as he shoved them away from the portrait hole. "You owe me, Padfoot. Big time."

"Yeah, yeah," Sirius mumbled, waving a hand. "I don't have time right now. Frank should be here with Alice at any moment and I haven't even gotten the food!"

"I'll get the food, you get the rest of this place ready," Remus compromised, already heading towards the exit.

"Go!" Sirius said in agreement.

Remus flew out the room, down the staircase (seven flights of stairs might he add), and down several different corridors. Finding the secret entrance to the kitchen was no easy feat. The point of portrait hiding the entrance to the kitchen was meant to take the entrance of the kitchen hard to find. Remus, however, knew from experience how to find the place and found it with ease. He prodded the pear in the bowl of the assorted fruits and yanked the door handle as soon as it materialized.

"Is the food ready that Sirius Black asked for?" Remus asked one of the hosue elves who came to greet him immediately upon entering.

"Tia has the food, sir," Tia, James's house elf who volunteered to work here on certain days, said, bowing deeply to the werewolf.

Even so, it felt weird to him that someone was bowing to a dirty werewolf. Remus felt a little uncomfortable with it all but that was not the time to deal with it.

"Could I have it?" Remus. "No, or better yet. Could you deliver that to the Gryffindor Common Room?"

"Of course, sir," Tia squeaked, bowing yet again, making Remus flinch and cringe inwardly.

He forced his grateful smile.

"Thanks," Remus said. "I'll see you up there, then."

He exited the kitchen after he heard the house elves with the food snap with a crack, disappearing on the spot. It must have been nice to transport to their room whilst Remus had to hurtle seven flights of stairs (not to mention the moving ones). It was exhausting and he was dying by the time he got back.

He burst in and found everything flawless and set up. Sirius looked happy, Remus looked sweaty and hot, the room romantic, the table decorated, and the food delicious.

"Did you get the music?" Remus asked, wheezing a little.

"Got it, got it," Sirius said and whacked Remus in the chest. "They're on their way!"

"Yeah, I saw them on the way up there," Remus muttered.

He didn't get to say much else for Sirius was yanking him up the dormitory stairs and into their room, closing the door behind them. That was one of the rare times he actually moved faster than average; Remus had to give him credit for that.

"What was that for?" Remus muttered, rubbing his shoulder. "Other than you dislocating my shoulder…"

"Sorry, but I promised Frank I wouldn't be there which means you can't either," Sirius said.

"So I'm supposed to sit in here the entire day?" Remus asked in obvious dismay. "Sirius, really!"

"Sorry, sorry," Sirius groaned, waving Remus's anxiety down with a hand. "You can get caught up on your work or something."

Remus glared at Sirius but did not argue. The two sat there on one bed, playing Gobstones instead of doing any work. And for once, Remus did not quite mind.

* * *

James fumed in his seat, biting on the edge of the mug to keep himself from racing over there and smacking New Bloke with his butterbeer mug. Peter and Piper were still doing well together, leaving James with nothing to do but wallow in his own pity.

He was meant to ask Lily out on a date. That was specifically his thing to do on Valentine's Day and someone nasty bloke already beat him to it. And she had said YES. James wanted to crawl under a rock and never resurface.

And the worst part was Lily spotted him and the two made eye contact.

James was sitting down, looking sullen and bitter, when he lifted his gaze. Lily had pulled away from New Bloke for a moment or two after they had just finished their very passionate snogging session. James nearly broke the mug in his hands.

They had both looked up and at the same time, they looked at one another. Green eyes met those hazel ones and the two stared at each other for a second or two, their expressions never changing. However, the second lasted less it seemed like and it was over. Lily was back to focusing on New Bloke while James was sitting alone.

It was a pitiful day and by the time Peter and Piper decided it was time to go back, James's skeletal frame was forever in the hunched over position he was sitting in for four hours straight. He was nearly immobile.

The walk to the castle was even worse because on his way, he lost his other two friends and had to walk by himself. Cold, tired, and feeling a little miserable, James could not wait to make it back to the castle where he could just call it a day and fall asleep.

However, of course he ran into the one person he surprisingly did not want to see at the moment was standing and waiting for him.

"Potter."

"Evans."

"Thanks for the help with the essay. I got an Outstanding."

"Anytime."

"How was your day?"

"How was yours?"

"Fine," Lily replied.

James paused, looking down.

"Good."

"You didn't ask me out, which I really appreciated," Lily said, not beating around the bush for a minute. "That I do appreciate."

James just nodded mutely.

"Well…"

"Wait," James burst out, grabbing her wrist lightly to keep her from walking away. "Wait, I have something to give you."

Lily sucked in her breath but nodded.

"Here," he said, pulling out a slightly bent and slightly squashed little…

"Lily."

She looked at the white lily with a sense of fondness.

"Go on a date with me, Evans?" James asked.

"Sorry, Potter," Lily said. "Familial issues."

* * *

 **I promise I'm going to dive deeper into Lily's character! Is it just me or are these chapters just getting worse? I dunno but till next time!**


	33. Bring Me Dawn

**All rights remain.**  
 **This is a chapter featuring: Lily Evans**

Lily inhaled deeply, looking at Professor McGonagall with a sense of doubt and worry. However, the Headmistress merely nodded at her knowingly and gestured to her fireplace.

"Return safely, Miss Evans," Professor McGonagall said and handed her the pot of Floo. "The network will only be connected for a few more minutes so you should depart soon."

Lily blinked then snapped herself out of her stupor. Worry had been consuming her from the inside out, and it had begun to blind her from her better judgement. However, it did not take much to get her back into sense.

"I'm sorry to hear about your father, Miss Evans," Professor McGonagall said with a tight smile, one that was more forced than ever.

"Thanks," Lily said and grabbed a handful of Floo Powder, stepping into the fireplace and ducking so she would not hit her head. "I hope he is okay, too."

She threw down the powder, and the last of Lily Evans remained the ashes from the bright emerald flame. Professor McGonagall set down the pot and sat at her desk for a few moments, completely still, silent, and emotionless while thousands of thoughts ran through her head.

Lily felt herself spinning until she swore she was going to be sick. She tucked in her elbows, learning the hard way of what it felt like when one did not follow that rule. She finally managed to stumble out of the fireplace, kicking up some soot and ash as she stepped into her living room.

Not much to her surprise, her mother was there to greet her instantly. And of course, Petunia and Vernon would be there as well, waiting for her return. Lily barely got one word in other than the usual greeting sent directly to her mother.

"NOW you come," Petunia snapped, folding her arms over her chest crossly. "Just ditch your family, Lily. Vernon is spending more time with Dad than you."

"I came as soon as I heard," Lily said, clearly stung but defiant. "And honestly, Vernon is just trying to get on Mom and Dad's good side because he knows he has no other real chance."

"Girls!" Mrs. Evans shouted angrily, stepping in between her two feuding daughters and holding out her hands. "Your father is injured and you are wasting time down here arguing! You should be ashamed! Both of you!"

Petunia huffed defiantly and Lily glared at her shoes, bowing her head in shame but still fuming silently in anger. Very tired of having to deal with the brutality from her sister.

"Your father is upstairs, Lily, why don't you take some time to talk to him alone," Mrs. Evans suggested, embracing Lily hastily. "It's good to see you, too."

"Love you, Mum," Lily said quickly before pulling back and heading for the stairs. She sent one last glare over her shoulder at Petunia and Vernon before disappearing up the stairs.

Nothing in their house had changed except for one new picture of her family (without her) and Vernon as the new addition to the portrait. It made her wrinkle her nose in disgust.

"Lily?" came a weak yet strong voice. "Is that you?"

"Dad?" Lily asked, quickening her pace. She raced down the hall to her parent's bedroom, where she was greeted with her father's smiling face. "Dad!"

"Lily!" Mr. Evans exclaimed happily, opening his arms to envelope Lily in his arms. With his daughter back home, he felt much better. "You're here! How's school going?"

"Dad, you're hurt and you want to talk about me?" Lily asked in disbelief, letting out a choked laugh, throat closing up.

"Don't cry, Lily," Mr. Evans said with a fond chuckle, brushing his thumb beneath her eye and drying her falling tears. "I'm okay and yes, I am very curious to know how you are doing at Hogwarts."

"It's fine, Dad. I'm learning loads but I came home as soon as I could after I heard what happened," Lily said, sitting on the edge of the bed and looking at her father in concern. "What happened?"

"I don't remember much, just a lot of flashing light," Mr. Evans recalled, expelling the details that he could for his daughter. "There was a load of flashing light and pain after one of those light beams hit me."

"One hit you?" Lily gasped in horror, her hands curling into fists. "No!"

"A few did but again, I don't remember. In fact, I think I was just at the wrong place at the wrong time," Mr. Evans admitted, grabbing Lily's hand and patting it consolingly. "Please, relax, Lily, so you can hear the rest of the story."

Lily nodded frantically.

"Sorry," she said genuinely.

"It's fine," Mr. Evans said and sent her a ghost of a smile. "I think these people were from your world, Lily. I was hoping you could ask one of your higher ups to see if these flashing lights came from….those magic wands you lot carry around."

Mr. Evans was not exactly much a fantasy believer so even when he had full proof his daughter was a witch, he still sounded a little awkward saying words like "magic" or "wand" or "witch and wizard". He was not uptight like some. He was just a very focused man who wanted only the best for his family.

"A wizard or witch attacked you?" Lily asked, horrified. "Do…do you know what they look like?"

"I hardly remember anything," Mr. Evans said with a sigh, looking dismal and despaired that he could not remember. "One I know for sure was a witch. She had…curly, black hair. She cackled like she was mad and had a very loud voice. I think she called me a 'filthy muggle'."

"Muggle is the term my world uses for non magic people," Lily explained then tried to go through the list of potential suspects in her head. So far there was no one she could think of that would attack her father directly, making him a target.

"I do not remember exactly what had happened but I know she was talking about some Lord," Mr. Evans said, looking frustrated at himself.

"Dad, I might know who that is," Lily said but she held up her hands. "But I can't say anything until I actually know."

"Lily flower," Mr. Evans said, patting Lily's knee to get her attention. "Lily, can we just enjoy you being here? I have missed you."

"I miss you, too," Lily said, leaning in and hugging her father once more. "More than you would think. And hearing this just made it all worse. Being away from you, I mean."

"Lily, you have your own life as does your mother and as do I," Mr. Evans said pointedly, speaking not unkindly but speaking with sternness. "We're proud of you and we couldn't be any more proud of you, Lily."

"Thanks," she breathed, soaking in those words and cherishing them in her memory forever, never letting those words leave her heart. "I love you."

"Be good," Mr. Evans said with a fond smile, one that seemed weaker and more of a massive effort to make.

"I am," Lily said, a smile of her own forming on her face. "Can I get you anything though? Anything to eat or drink?"

"No thank you," MR. Evans said and patted the bed so she would sit down again. "Did you meet Vernon?"

Lily suppressed rolling her eyes and venting out all of her bitterness towards the two, especially her sister and former best friend.

"He's not the best," she said right away, leaving no room for doubt in her opinion. She folded her arms over her chest as she recalled the most recent encounter with her sister. "Vernon has got to go, Dad. I can't bloody stand him."

"Watch the language, Lily, and we have to treat Vernon like we would treat any of our guests," Mr. Evans said and nestled back down against his mound of pillows. "He's doing Petunia some good. I've seen the way those two are together."

Lily groaned, her nose wrinkling without much of a choice.

"Be nice," Mr. Evans warned, his stern tone coming back as he got authoritative. "And be considerate, Lily. I am sure there will be a time you are going to bring someone home with pride. And you're going to want us to treat him well."

For some reason, Lily's mind jolted right to James Potter of all people. She flinched inwardly and tried erasing the image of James Potter smirking at her, those hazel eyes glinting impishly behind those square framed black glasses.

"Probably not," Lily muttered a little more bitterly than she meant. "I'm just busy with other things. I don't really pay much mind to that."

Mr. Evans nodded in understanding and lay back down, closing his eyes. Lily took a moment to examine the extent of her father's injuries. A bandage around his head, arm, and a cast on his leg, she assumed he had gotten stuck in the crossfire and suffered the consequences of two dueling witches or wizards. It made her blood boil but she knew there was nothing she could do with her anger.

Instead, she closed her eyes tiredly and rose to her feet, looking at her father for a few more moments before waving goodbye.

Mr. Evans waved goodbye in return and Lily closed to the door to find Petunia and Vernon (of course) standing just outside the door Lily rolled her eyes this time and shoved past them, in no mood for Petunia's hurtful words.

* * *

James exhaled and stared at the bloke before him. As irritating as he was, James had to admit he had prime moves and dueling skills to match his egotistical demeanor. The dueler's name was Amadeus, someone no one really heard about until he was introduced. All of his violent moves made it even worse.

"Amadeus, watch it!" James shouted.

Amadeus was not just anyone James Potter knew. It was an old family friend; the bloke was in his third year but smarter than all the seventh years at Hogwarts. Amadeus was a little genius.

"Sorry," Amadeus muttered.

James was sent home after Professor McGonagall announced that his mother was asking for her son for a few days. Confused and surprised this was even allowed, Professor McGonagall reassured James this was something important.

James took a moment to really look at Professor McGonagall and realize she had a very stony expression and her lips were pursed in a way that should probably make him feel a hint of concern.

"Professor?" James had asked.

But Professor McGonagall had merely waved him off until he was herded into her fireplace. James had sworn he had seen a tear or two fall down her cheeks, but James convinced himself it was a mere trick of his mind.

Upon coming home, James would not have expected an old friend of his family milling about, especially with their irritating fourteen year old son, Amadeus. Amadeus was a half-blood from Korea. His mother came from South Korea while his father came from France. The two had been friends with James's father for ages but they rarely stopped over. Therefore it was strange and a bit suspicious.

"James?" Euphemia asked, entering the room with a sense of caution.

"Mum?" James asked incredulously, knitting his eyebrows at the expression his mother was wearing. "What's going on? Why'd you call?"

"We need to talk..."

James hated that statement with a fiery passion. It always meant something was bound to go wrong and his mother was left to tell him. Fearful, James took one look at his mother, their house guests, then nodded. He sat down on the couch, brushing off some stray ashes from the fireplace.

Euphemia sat down across from her son, hands twisting in her lap. James, for the first time, took a look at his mother and realized she was not the youngest of witches and she was certainly no longer the strongest of witches either. She even looked...frail.

"James, I told you about your father, yes?" Euphemia asked quietly, her gray hair falling into her face as she continued to twist her hands nervously in her lap. "I told you when you were still in school."

James nodded, his heart beginning to beat faster and harder. Something made his palms begin to sweat and he was starting to wonder if all this fatherly love-hate he had was worth the heart-stopping drama.

"There's been a misunderstanding," Euphemia said with a bit of a nervous edge. "Your father is alive and he came home last night."

That was all James heard. He saw his mother's lips move, he heard her talking, and he knew she was talking, but yet those words she was speaking made no sense. Whatever she had said afterward never stuck in him.

All he could see was the blazing red in his carpet, all he could hear was the silence and barely audible breathing of his mother, and the pounding in his head. The logical voice inside his head was telling him this was possible but yet impossible.

"James."

"I don't want to see him," James breathed, his eyes welling with tears. "No, I won't."

"James, please," Euphemia begged, rising up to chase after her retreating son.

"I'm just done with this," James said, shrugging off his mother's arm. "I'm sorry, Mum, I love you."

He stormed through the dining room where he knew the Floo Powder was, and grabbed a handful. He felt it slip through his fingers so he hastily threw it down and shouted: Hogwarts.

The spinning began until it almost became unbearable. He could hear and see certain gates he was passing via Floo Powder slam shut, indicating the time limit to those gates were closing. He just hoped he would not be too late for Hogwarts.

His thoughts were interrupted when he could feel a small tug at the ankles. James stepped out of the fireplace and tumbled ungracefully onto Professor McGonagall's carpet in her office.

The witch was surprised to see him back so soon; she had no doubtedly not been expecting James at the time.

"Potter?" she breathed, standing up hastily. "What is the meaning of your untimely arrival?"

"Untimely arrival?" James echoed despite the situation. "Who says that, Professor Minnie?"

"Me!" Professor McGonagall barked and looked at James sternly and angrily. "I ask you not to call me that, Mr. Potter! Not to mention your arrival was meant to be the following day. I thought you had familial business to see to."

"I did," James reassured, knowing McGonagall would be after him if she learned he was ignoring his responsibilities to his family. "I just...it's a long and unimportant story."

"Turning away from your responsibilities will only make facing them worse," Professor McGonagall said pointedly, looking at her student with a bit of a glare.

"I don't have any responsibilities, Professor," James said through gritted teeth, turning away.

"Mr. Potter," Professor McGonagall said, walking around her desk and reaching out for him.

However, James pulled away, wanting to be alone more than anything, which was something new to hear. All she could do was watch him walk out wordlessly, leaving her to sit in concern.

 **.oOo.**

Sirius wandered the halls aimlessly, having no real intention of heading anywhere specific. There was no sound other than his echoing footsteps and the slight and occasional grumbles from the portraits who were woken from his wandering.

Sirius clutched something in his hand, which happened to be an old photograph of his family. He looked down at it and stared at himself in the image. He was stiff spined and wearing all green; He was no older than nine or ten, however, Regulus was at his side, staring into the camera as well, looking nothing but pristine.

If he had the chance to go back and do things over again, would Sirius succumb to the pressures and beliefs his family all shared? He paused in mid step, asking himself that question again. He relaxed, however, when his brain shook its head.

He was a Gryffindor.

"Merlin, Sirius," came an agitated voice.

Something hard jabbed him square in the chest, forcing him to take a step back. Through the darkness and lack of light, he recognized the flaming red hair in the white glow emitting from the other side of the window.

"Evans," Sirius said in surprise, grinning a little. "Long time, no see. How are you?"

"Not in the mood," Lily said in exasperation and lit the end of her wand, illuminating her face. The shadows fell just perfectly, lighting up the tear stains on her cheeks and the redness in her eyes. She looked more than weary.

"What happened?" Sirius asked in genuine concern, taking a step towards her. He was alarmed to say the least to see the firecracker running on low fuel. "You look...er...not good."

"Thanks," Lily muttered but wiped her eyes hastily, looking away as she lowered her wand. "Why do you insist on making patrol so much harder. Can't you please, please just glue your arse in your bed and stay there for the night?"

"Not likely," Sirius said and ignored the barbed comment to press the subject of her misery. "And I'm especially not going anywhere now until you tell me what's got you so upset."

"Nothing's got me upset, Sirius," Lily said.

The eldest Black heir was about to say something when he realized Lily had called him Sirius more than once in the past few minutes they were talking. The shock had left him momentarily speechless.

"Right, and I'm not annoying," Sirius said finally, focusing his attention back on to the subject matter at hand.

Lily seemed half impressed by his persistence but she did not give in so easily. With one hand on her hip, a disapproving frown on her face, she tried to look something like intimidating but Sirius knew the real emotions behind the mask she wore.

"It's okay, I won't judge," Sirius said and even sat right down on the floor of the corridor. He did not even care that is was marble and very cold on his legs. "I'm a great listener so I've been told."

"Oh Merlin," Lily said with a roll of her eyes, however, she did not (surprisingly) protest when Sirius grabbed her wrist and gently tugged her down. Lily sighed and gave in, sitting down across from Sirius, cross legged. She put her wand on the ground in the middle of them to give them light. "Now what do you want?"

"To know what's wrong because it helps to talk it out," Sirius said, leaning back on the palms of his hands.

"Why do you take so much interest?" Lily asked, raising an elegant eyebrow questioningly.

"Because it's what friends do," Sirius stated so plainly.

Lily's brain shut off for more than a few seconds, for more than a few moments. She stared, wide eyed and open mouthed; she could feel her jaw drop in shock as he uttered those words. Sirius spoke as if that was such an obvious thing. Her memories of shouting and hurling insult after insult at Sirius and James replayed in her head, in front of her eyes. It made no sense. They were not friends. Being in the same house did not mean they were friends.

But here Sirius was, stating the facts as if he was simply reading out of a textbook. Lily sat there, completely shell shocked and speechless. Her thoughts short circuited and for some reason, she could not think of anything half as intelligent to respond with.

"Blimey," Lily said before she could stop herself.

Sirius's face fell. It actually fell and Lily was there to witness that.

"I mean, yes, we are..." Lily trailed off, trying to force the word past her lips. However, it sounded too foreign to her ears for her to say without stumbling or choking on those words. "I..."

"A bit too soon," Sirius said with a nod though he tried not to show his disappointment. He had opened up about his family and in his mind, he only did that with people he trusted enough: friends. "Weird, isn't it?"

"No, no," Lily said reassuringly, waving her hand nervously.

"Where's Remus?" Sirius wondered.

"Third floor."

The silence was a bit awkward but surprisingly, it did not last. Lily cleared her throat and ran a hand through her hair a few times, trying to figure out what to say and just exactly how to say it.

"I saw Potter and that letter," Lily commented as casually as she could be. "What...happened?"

"Family drama," Sirius said with a nod, making sure he did not expel too many details yet making sure it seemed like he wasn't trying to hide anything from her. "But what's life without it?"

Lily hummed in agreement.

"There is it," Sirius said suddenly, nodding. "What happened? I heard _you_ went home, too."

Lily paused, holding her breath. And before she truly realized it, she was telling him:

"My sister and I used to be best friends but now she hates me. Her horrible fiance is no better. Vernon is just...a rude and mean spirited bloke who doesn't deserve to know my sister let alone date her. My father got sick and Petunia's blaming me for not coming to see him right away. I think my family thinks I'm abandoning them for this world. I apparently can't have a foot in both worlds."

Lily took a deep breath and opened her mouth to continue but Sirius held up a hand.

"Lily, you can be here and spend time with your family. What they were saying about living only in one world is a lie," he insisted calmly, speaking rationally. "They're just lashing because I'm sure they're scared. If you father got sick, they're all just worried and fearful."

Lily looked down at her hands.

"I'm not saying it's fair," Sirius added.

"How," Lily blurted out, hands twisting nervously in her lap. "How did you stand all that abuse from your family? I've got petty family problems compared to you and I'm falling apart."

"You're not falling apart," Sirius said reassuringly and paused to contemplate that question and answer deeply. "And I've got three best mates who are my real family. All of them had done me wonders."

Lily sighed, shoulders sagging. Sometimes she hated feeling like she had been wrong about a person.

 **.oOo.**

James and Remus were sitting in the back of Charms, listening to Professor Flitwick drone on about one thing or another when something hit him in the temple. It was not painful by any means but it surprised him, making the bespectacled boy jolt.

Remus whipped around at the sudden movement and stared at his friend and the little paper airplane note in his hands.

 _James Potter,_

 _Thanks for helping me with Transfiguration. You really know what you're doing in that class, which is impressive. In the next Potions lesson, do you want to work together? Maybe I can help you with something you're unsure of._

 _From Lily Evans_

James looked up at Lily and he swore the second they made eye contact, he could see a small smile on her beautiful features.

* * *

 **My God, as much as I hate ranting. I'm ranting.**

 **So there was speculation Doreas and Charlus were the parents of James; however, his actual parents' names are Fleamont and Euphemia. So...I'm not going back and changing that.**

 **So readers who are getting confused, I'm sorry, but oh well.**

 **Padfoot123321: I hope this clears some stuff up. Sirius is making Lily realize what a genuinely good person James is. He's doing so little by little.**

 **Remus 1889: I hope this adds some meaning to the story. I hope you enjoy.**

 **Destinyandchicken11: My favorite is Peter Pettigrew. I'm going to get a ton of hate and shite but I like him the most because he's so misunderstood. And I can relate to that like you can relate to Remus. Peter was just at the wrong place at the wrong time. He gave in to his fears (which is completely human) and ended up making a bad decision (which is also completely human). Peter makes mistakes like we all have. Peter is human, like we all are.**


	34. The Heart of the Eye

**All rights remain.**

"Wait, wait, are you joking?" Remus asked, his eyebrows going up. His skeptical alarms going off in his head. "YOU. James Potter are actually willing to go to the library in full daylight?"

"Yeah, yeah," James mumbled, shooting a glare at his best mate. "Padfoot's coming with me. I'm giving you no choice."

"Merlin's beard, no, gross," Sirius yelped, eyes widening at the frightful thought of being caught in the library. He was Sirius Black. He did not go to libraries. "I'm not going with you."

"Yes you are, and do you know why?" James challenged, crossing his arms over his chest and taking a step closer to Sirius. "When you got sick that one day in our second year and you threw up all over me, I didn't complain once."

Sirius set his jaw but he said nothing else; instead, he merely turned to Remus and looked at him in agitation. Remus could feel Sirius's reluctance all the way to the library. While Remus was there to finish his homework, James was being rather secretive why he was going there. He would always respond with a vague answer, careful not to give away too much. This only sparked Remus's curiosity even more.

Madam Pince, who was the librarian with eyes like a hawk, eyeballed them as they walked past her desk. She did not have too many fond memories of the four boys; the most recent encounter included Madam Pince casting a spell on the books to attack The Marauders for being so disrespectful. She did not like Filch thank you very much and The Marauders were insisting that she did.

"Long time no see," Sirius said in greeting, mock saluting her as he walked past. "Don't mind us, we're just here to get a quality education."

"Now you're milking it," Remus said, yanking on Sirius's arm and forcing him to walk alongside him. "Will you stop trying to get me permanently banned from the library, Padfoot? I actually find this place useful."

Sirius huffed but fell silent afterward, trailing Remus with a notably less enthusiastic bounce to his step. James branched off at some point, leaving Sirius to guess where his friend went. Staying with Remus, who was currently sitting in the window ledge with his books all around him, was boring. The bloke was too busy reading to have a proper conversation so Sirius was contemplating on leaving.

However, James pointed out earlier he was needed (though he wished James hadn't just left him to go who knows where). Sirius trekked up and down the aisles of the library, trying to find his bespectacled friend to no avail. He was about to call it quits when he finally spotted James near the other end of an aisle, reaching up to get a book. Sirius hustled down and peered over James's shoulder.

"You got a book on literally one spell?" Sirius hissed in James's ear. "You must be joking!"

"No, this will make sense once you sit your arse down and let me explain," James said, nudging Sirius off his neck and gesturing to one of the empty tables.

James pushed Sirius over to the table, sat down across from him, and set the book in between them. Sirius then proceeded to pull a face as he read the title, wrinkling his nose in a judgmental way.

"What is this rubbish, Prongs?" he asked, sounding like his patience was running think. And while he did not mean to sound so incredibly rude or that he was taking out his frustrations on James, he did sound convincing enough.

"It's the Homonculous Charm," James said, about to add in an explanation. However, Sirius, the forever impatient one, interrupted him.

"What is that rubbish?" he asked.

"It enables whoever is using the map to track the movements of every person in this ruddy castle," James said, now highly offended at Sirius's shortness with him. The look he was giving his friend was defiance and anger. "But it's not like you care I guess."

He rose to his feet and snatched the parchment and book away, tucking both under his arm and stalking off. It was not a big production (like James enjoyed doing in his former years). It was quiet, quick, and over with in a flash of a second; it had left Sirius staring after his friend with his jaw hanging open and guilt gnawing at him from the inside out.

Sirius seemed to snap out of his stupor of surprise. He sprang to his feet, wrestling to push the chair back in while keeping an eye on James and where he was heading off to. Catching up was another challenge he would have really rather gone the day without.

"I'm sorry," Sirius started, pulling up beside James. "I'm—"

"Never mind, Sirius," James said, sounding a bit short in return, much like the tone Sirius used on him. "I'm going to find Remus so..."

He walked away without saying another word, leaving Sirius to sag his shoulders and slump over in defeat. He had just peeved off one of his best mates all because he could not find the right person to take out his frustrations on.

Meanwhile, while Sirius was licking his wounds, James was consoling in Remus. The sixth year werewolf was calmly listening while James angrily explained his idea for the map of Hogwarts, even coming up with a few titles.

 _1\. The Map_

 _2\. The Map of Hogwarts_

 _3\. Hogwarts Castle_

 _4\. Hogwarts in the Palm of your Hand_

 _5\. The Castle Map_

 _6\. The Hogwarts Map_

 _7\. The Animals' Map_

 _8\. The Secrets of the Castle_

 _9\. The Heart of Hogwarts_

"No, go back," Remus said, looking over the list and pointing to number six and number seven. He tapped both with his finger, grinning a little. "I think I fancy the sixth or the seventh the most."

James scribbled off the rest of the options with a single crossed out line so it was still readable and began creating new titles based off the ones Remus liked. Not to mention, James was a fan of those, too.

 _10\. The Eye of the Castle_

 _11\. The Omniscient Map_

 _12\. The Tracking Map_

 _13\. The Map of the Four Friends_

"The Marauders Map."

James looked up and stared at Remus. The look in his eyes reflected all the memories flashing in a fraction of a second and suddenly both boys were in the middle of the corridor, following Professor McGonagall. It was their first year and one of the many times they had gotten themselves into trouble. McGonagall was muttering about her inability to rein them in, calling them...

"Marauders..."

James looked up at Remus and wrote in big, bold, black letters:

 **THE MARAUDER'S MAP**

"That's the one, mate," Remus said, shooting James a smile. "Now all we have to do is get it started."

"You'll help?" James asked incredulously, his eyes widening in surprise. "You must be joking!"

"Well, don't sound so surprised," Remus mumbled but he spoke with mirth, eyes alight. "Yes, of course I'll help. Advanced magic and a good challenge are two things I just cannot say no to."

Remus's sharp eye caught movement coming up from behind James; his eyes landed on Sirius and for a fraction of a second, their eyes met. Sirius had a million and one unread emotions filing through his head like a forest fire but one stood out the most.

"Oi, turn around, you lunatic," Remus said playfully, trying to ease the obvious tension. "It looks like someone wants to talk to you."

James frowned for a moment, turning around in curiosity. When he saw Sirius, he merely motioned for his friend to take a seat. Sirius did so quietly, twiddling his thumbs and twisting his hands nervously.

"I'm sorry, Prongsie," Sirius said, biting his lip a little. "I'm just bloody tired and I know that is no excuse to take it out on you. Shite, I'm sorry, mate. Blimey, I really am. If I were you—"

"Padfoot," James said with a hearty laugh, putting a hand on Sirius's arm to get his attention. "Shut it, so I can tell you that I get it and that I'm not mad. We all have our off days. Do you really think I'd get angry over that petty shite?"

Sirius smiled weakly then broke out into a genuine smile.

"I knew i loved you for a reason," he jested.

"Doesn't everyone know it?" James said with a smile. "Look, we just have to find Wormy because I've got some great news."

Sirius looked down at the list of titles for the map, scanning the numbers and options until his eyes landed on the final and decided one. It took him a few seconds but a smile, that started out small and eventually grew, appeared on his face.

"No way," Sirius said with a laugh.

Madam Pince decided at that precise time to come over and hush them all quiet. However, she caught sight of the parchment, opened her mouth to say something, but before she could get a better look, James slammed his arms over its contents.

"Well, fancy seeing you here," Sirius said loudly, making Madam Pince look at him while Remus shoved the parchment in his book bag. "But we ought to get going. Bright, beautiful winter day and we can't waste it indoors."

The three Marauders sprinted out of the library before Madam Pince could say anything more upon the subject. When they finally put a good three flights of stairs between them, Sirius nudged Remus and wiggled his eyebrows at James suggestively.

"Mate, we've been through this, I won't—"

"No, look," Sirius said, rolling his eyes albeit with a hint of fondness.

James pulled a face and looked down the hall where Sirius was gesturing to. Who he saw was someone he was never expecting. A certain redhead was walking up to him willingly, ready to talk to him willingly: and it was Lily Evans.

Remus and Sirius slowly began to walk away, stepping silently so James would not lose focus. As the other two melted into the background, heading up for the Gryffindor Tower, James was left to stare at Lily, who was approaching him with a sense of briskness. Yet she was not seething in rage and or hatred and she truly did not look like she wanted to throttle him.

"Evans," James greeted, his hand going to his hair. However, he paused then dropped his hand to his side. "What are you doing? If it's about that note, I would bloody love to work on that with you—"

"That's good," Lily interrupted. She still stood a good foot or two away from him but it was an improvement. She was, at least, not trying to hex his face off or jinx him into oblivion. "No, I was going to thank you in person. I realized how...I dunno, weird it was to thank you via letter."

James felt his jaw drop open and he knew Lily raised her eyebrow because he did that.

"Not at all," James insisted, perhaps a little too enthusiastic with his reply. "I didn't mind the letter. I quite liked it really. Honestly, you didn't have to thank me in person. I—"

"Potter, relax," Lily said and raised her eyebrow. "Slughorn's class is tomorrow and so is that potion. Should we give this a go?'

"I reckon that's a good idea," James said, scratching the back of his neck a little awkwardly, shuffling his feet. "I mean, if you think that is a good idea then I definitely could benefit from learning a thing or two about potions."

Lily nodded wordlessly but she almost smiled.

"Right, I'll...see you then tomorrow?" she said in a tone that sounded much more like a question.

James nodded eagerly and Lily headed off with a brisk "goodbye", leaving James Potter, a gooey mess on the corridor floor. Pity none of his friends were there to fix him back up.

* * *

"Stop pacing!" Remus hissed.

James paused and looked at his friend with an expression of affront and surprise. Tomorrow had come all too soon and this was the first day in recorded history of The Marauders James did not eat breakfast. He had been too nervous to eat.

They were sitting or rather standing in Slughorn's classroom, getting their things ready for the Potion making. Remus paired up with Frank Longbottom since Alice was paired up with Emmeline Vance. Sirius and Peter were working together at a separate table and James and Lily were working together at an isolated table.

Remus subtly noticed the way Snape was glaring at James like he was his worst enemy (because he probably was). But the look Snape was wearing made Remus cringe a little for he had never seen Snape look so angry in his life.

However, Lily seemed to be completely oblivious to this.

"I can't do this," James moaned, shaking his head. "But Merlin, I really want to!"

"You're not marrying the girl, Prongs! You're just working with her," Remus said in exasperation, suppressing the urge to lean across the table and smack his friend out of his state of near hysteria. "Relax!"

James grumbled and went back over to his station. Moments later, Lily entered the classroom, James held his breath but he managed to keep himself looking casual and nonchalant. As Lily walked over to greet James swiftly, he almost lost it.

However, the lesson was quick to start off, which allowed James no time to second guess himself. But he soon learned it was hard to keep up with a Potions Master named Lily Evans. She did things with such ease, he was getting lost, even when she was explaining the best she could.

"No, it's not you," James muttered hastily, shaking his head when he caught Lily looking a little dejected when he was _still_ confused. "I swear, I just am not good at this stuff. I think the only thing I'm worse at is Defense Against the Dark Arts."

"Well, you hate that class," Lily stated.

James nearly had a heart attack right then and there. How did she _know_ he hated Defense Against the Dark Arts. Perhaps it was a little obvious but did that mean Lily observed him in that class before? Had she seen him fail over and over again? Had she listened to his under the breath insults thrown at the class? Did she knew Remus and James often complained about the class?

"Potter, don't add that yet!" Lily said, breaking through his thought barrier and grabbing his wrist. "You would have exploded the entire potion if you added rose thorns before stirring it clockwise."

James closed his eyes wearily and cursed himself for almost messing up in front of Lily. Granted, he knew it was going to happen regardless but he did not want to look so absentminded.

"Wait, you need the Ashwinder eggs, right?" he asked instead, trying to remain casual. "Or...or was it—"

"No, you're right," Lily said reassuringly. "Do you need to borrow some moonstone and peppermint?"

"No, I've got peppermint," James said, fumbling with his ingredients. "Okay, maybe I do need some moonstone...shite, if you don't mind."

"I don't," Lily said, pushing her supply over to James and going back to her potion.

Whether the love potion was considered advanced, James found this level to be the near impossible. He kept mixing the wrong amount of ingredients in all the wrong sequences. He was starting to call it quits when he realized he was...on the right track even if it was a little off.

His potion was a purple when it was not quite supposed to be so but at least Professor Slughorn did not dismally shake his head like he always did when examining James's work. The professor merely nodded and smiled almost encouragingly. Lily even stopped to shoot James a hasty smile.

"Oi," Remus said, leaning over. "I heard this is supposed to smell unique to each person."

James, for some odd reason, felt his face growing hot and red.

"Fancy that," he said shortly.

"Mine smells like chocolate," Remus said, taking a deep whiff. "And old parchment, books, spring...and more chocolate."

"Chocoholic," Sirius teased from the other table. Peter snickered but kept his eyes on his own bubbling potion. "I smell...your mum's cooking, Prongs, and blimey, those bloody truffles the house elves make!"

Peter chimed in.

"I smell Turkish Delights!"

"I smell like...that Magical Mystic Shampoo—"

Lily nearly tipped over her cauldron, pushing her hair out of her face and over her shoulder, away from James. She scowled and put her hands on her hips, making James tilt his head in confusion.

"Fine, I'll move," she said, making sure James had enough room to properly smell his potion without her perfume getting in the way.

James, who did not quite understand either, merely bowed in mock respect.

"Thank you, Evans," he said and took a whiff, still smelling that Magical Mystic Shampoo. "Blimey, how much of that bottle did you spray on yourself, Evans? It's _all_ I can smell."

"It's not like the ruddy smell of pinewood is any better!" Lily huffed, folding her arms over her chest defensively. "How much of the bottle did _you_ spray on yourself, Potter?"

Meanwhile, the two bickered, Remus and Sirius exchanged looks. Peter merely watched the two with a hint of a smile. The rest of the class...well, they pretended to go on with their work like it was not the most obvious thing in the world...

Not at all...

* * *

 **Yeah, yeah. I dunno what to make of this chapter. Honestly, life's catching up to me. Stress. Piles and piles of stress. Life is kind of making me want to quit right now. I'm trying my best not to shut down these stories and delete this fanfiction. But I'm plugging along for it seems like a few like these stories.**

 **Padfoot123321:  
** **1.)** _I think the element of a good story is to never hold back what you want to write in your story. If you have an idea that is crazy and far fetched, go for it. To write action and adventure means to (obviously) have a good plot, but it means to add some creativity and originality into the story._ **  
** **2.)** _Going into depth of a character and their emotions will really help a reader connect with your main protagonist. Developing your character is vital. Have some chapters that are less adventure filled and more personal to your character. Make sure the reader gets to know your character close up and personal. Balance the ups and downs in a story. Make it realistic.  
_ **3.)** _And just enjoy what you're writing. That's key._

 **Remus 1889: Cool, good, good to hear. I hope you continue to e joy!**


	35. Times Flies and Dies

**All rights remain.**

Remus could feel the agony welling up in his bones, making them shift and change. He winced, his lungs heaving to get some air into them. His throat, which felt like it was closing, was already experiencing the shift in size and shape; his neck lengthened, hair sprouted from his body, his eyes turned a deep gold, his teeth sharpened as his face shifted and lengthened, and lastly, his mind was lost.

 _Back off,_ James said. It was always the best idea to give the werewolf space just after its transformation. He learned that after receiving nip from those sharp teeth and powerful jaws. He still had the scars to prove the incident. _It needs space or it will bug out._

Sirius backed off, tail wagging low to the ground and rather slowly. His tongue lolled out but he was cautious as well, wary for he knew the consequences of angering the werewolf as soon as it came to.

 _I was talking to Frank earlier,_ James said.

 _Are we really going there right now?_ Sirius huffed, even in those striking gray eyes the massive dog had, James could tell Sirius was looking at him in disbelief. _When our friend's a werewolf?_

 _Well, we have to talk about it sometime,_ James protested, trying to sound defiant.

Meanwhile Peter wanted to slap some sense into both his bickering friends. As much as he truly treasured them, there were times he wanted to bury them. He lashed his tail angrily and twitched his whiskers.

 _We're all almost of age!_ James insisted angrily, actually going so far as to stamp his hoof on the wooden floor, which left a bit of a mark since the place was nearly falling apart at the seams. _Let's ask Dumbledore to see if we could join now!_

 _That's pointless, mate!_ Sirius insisted, curling his lip back over his canines for a fraction of a second. _Dumbledore wants us to GRADUATE Hogwarts first so stop pushing it. What gives, James?_

 _What do you mean?_ James retorted, glaring the best he could. _I thought you wanted to do this, Padfoot. Why are you backing out now?_

 _I am not backing out!_ Sirius growled, quite literally. The hackles started to rise and the fur began to bristle. His tail bushed out, wagging stiffly as he felt his muscles bunch within him. _I was just asking! What is WRONG with you, James! Blimey! You are being just a prat!_

 _Don't let me kick you on the way out!_ James said but something was definitely off. He was usually much more eloquent when arguing when he was truly angry but his arguments and emotions were all over the board. Something was definitely wrong. _Just...focus on Remus then._

 _No,_ Sirius insisted stubbornly, plopping his hindquarters right down and letting out a sharp bark at James, gaining his attention and tilting his head to the side. All signs of aggression were gone as Sirius examined the stag. _James, something is wrong. Something is definitely wrong with you. So talk to us._

 _Nothing,_ James hissed, turning his massive head away, nearly taking out the ratty, old bedpost with a sharpened antler. He closed his eyes for a moment, trying to calm the storm of emotions before facing his friend (the dog). _Now...isn't the time to tell you._

 _I knew it was something,_ Sirius said, rising back to his four paws. _I'll drop it for now but I won't let this go, Prongs. I want you to talk to me about whatever this is without feeling like you're going to the gallows._

 _Speaking of werewolves,_ Peter interjected pointedly, scurrying up James's back. _Did you two remember we have a fully fledged werewolf in the Shrieking Shack with us? So instead of talking about whatever you two were talking about, can we focus on the situation at hand?_

 _You don't even know what we were talking about!_ James huffed but he averted his attention to the stirring werewolf, sniffing the air for any signs he could pick up with the current flow.

But even something was wrong with the werewolf. Today and tonight (the entire day) had been off. James watched the werewolf cringe and limp as it rose to its paws, letting out a soft growl when it applied pressure to one of its legs. However, he could not get close enough to figure out what was wrong without getting a good clawing or a good maiming for getting too close.

 _You see that, right?_ Peter asked, sniffing the air.

 _Just a sprain,_ James said, trying to inch closer but stopping when the werewolf emitted a low, warning growl; its eyes blazed as it tried looking all of them at once. It even looked a little frightened and perhaps threatened.

 _What are we supposed to do?_ Sirius asked, able to get a little closer to the werewolf. Tonight, it just did not seem to be in one of its aggressive moods, which made it much easier to approach. _If he keeps walking on it, he'll make it worse._

 _Once you tell me what we can do, I'm all open,_ James said then paused, tossing his head a little up and down to get Sirius's attention. _Oh, what if we tried giving it a splint or something?_

 _You mean...as humans?_ Sirius breathed, feeling his fur bristle a little at the idea of exposing himself. It was not because he was afraid of being bit. He could not care less, but he knew Remus would never, ever forgive himself if something like that happened. _No, bad idea. Think about Remus if something went wrong, James._

 _True, but I don't want him hurting himself,_ James said, beginning to pace the best he could with his size and long gait and strides.

 _I blame you,_ Sirius barked.

 _Mate,_ Peter protested.

 _Oi!_ James gasped, offended. _Why don't you tell me how? Enlighten me, O Great One!_

 _You just had to spout about that organization Dumbledore is making,_ Sirius grumbled, claws scraping the dusty, wooden floor.

 _Do you know what that sounds like, Mangy Mutt? Rubbish!_ James said, stamping his hoof and glaring the best he could. _All I hear are pathetic attempts to turn this all on me when it's really all your fault! If you actually cared about Dumbledore's new recruits, I wouldn't have to talk about it all the time!_

 _Listen here, Rudolph,_ Sirius snapped, taking a step closer.

 _Rudolph, my arse, Sirius,_ James huffed, matching his step forward.

"You know, I'll give you a real red nose," Sirius said, holding up a first...a human fist.

James, in result, transformed back without much thought, folding his arms over his chest and scowling all the same.

"I'll give you a matching one," he insisted, raising his fist.

"Merlin's beard, Potter!" Sirius groaned in exasperation, taking James's shoulders and shaking him. "We have bigger cornish pixies to fry!"

"Who fries cornish pixies!)?" James shouted back, grabbing Sirius by the shoulders and shaking him as well. "That doesn't even make sense."

"I will run you over with a stampeding hippogriff!" Sirius shouted, his hands waving manically and wildly, gesturing to the air but still not making any sense in their movement.

"You can't even get a house-elf to listen to you! How will you get a stampeding hippogriff to listen?" James retorted in the same big, loud tone of voice he used.

"OI, YOU LOT!" Peter suddenly shouted.

Both James and Sirius (surprisingly) took a break from their two foot distance shouting match and turned to face Peter, both agitated.

"What?" they shouted together.

Peter did not have to answer. The three boys heard a low growl from the other side and instantly froze, cringing on the inside at their own stupidity. All three of them slowly turned their heads to match the gaze of an angry werewolf.

The beast towered over them by far and overpowered them all together. Quick as lightning, the werewolf rose to his hind legs, rearing up and letting out a warning howl, lifting its muzzle to the moon to sing its song.

"This is what I get for bringing you two here before you lot worked this out," Peter grumbled, knowing what was going to happen and playing he next few scenarios in his head with dread. He sighed. "Typical."

"For the record," Peter added as the werewolf moved forward.

"I blame you!" Sirius and James said together at each other.

* * *

"You did _what_?"

Madam Pomfrey could not believe her ears as she treated the three Marauders for broken bones, bruised ribs, sore muscles, and even some chipped teeth. The state they were in was shocking and the mixed story she got when she inquired the series of events that led them to their ultimate fail was even more suspicious.

"We were playing around, Madam Pomfrey," James insisted, coughing weakly and groaning."We were going to wait for Remus but someone got a little too enthusiastic about the game and sent us all spiraling."

"Yeah..." Sirius said, blinking. "Nice going, Peter!"

Peter just looked at his lap, suppressing the urge to roll his eyes. Yes, he loved his friends but yes, he did want to throttle them at times. Now just happened to be one of those throttle desiring moments.

"Okay," Peter said loudly, shaking his head.

Remus sat up in his own hospital bed, confused as to why he was seeing his friend so banged up and bruised. James, Sirius, and Peter all paused their verbal argument to look at Remus, who was merely blinking at them.

"So we were playing this game," James said, swallowing nervously.

"And it involved...falling," Sirius said, trailing off awkwardly.

"From high up," Peter chimed in, his hands twisting guiltily.

"Peter's fault," James spouted.

"Yep, my fault," Peter said, not even arguing this time around.

Remus knew a lie when he heard one but he merely rolled his eyes, knowing not to give anything away to Madam Pomfrey, who was still listening intently. He steered the suspicion away when he said, "I told you to not climb that beech tree."

James and Sirius both shrugged helplessly whilst Peter rolled his eyes, rubbing his temples. Remus felt the same exact way, unable to feel comfortable leaving his friends for a night. He simply could not trust them to keep out of trouble.

"Anyway," Madam Pomfrey said, pushing Sirius and James both back down flat on their beds. "Lie down and let your bones reshape and re-shift. It is imperative they heal just the right way so there are no later complications."

"Wait, later complications?" James spluttered.

"Yes, now do as I say, please, Mr. Potter!" Madam Pomfrey said with a little huff to her voice.

James settled back down, looking at Madam Pomfrey with his hazel eyes. He looked like he wanted to argue but he knew better kept his mouth closed, meaning no disrespect to the Healer.

Remus, on the other hand, looked better than he did on other full moons. There were less bite marks and claw scratches; he seemed to be in less pain overall, which mattered to them the most in the end.

"When will we be able to...get out of here?" Sirius asked, wiggling a bit in the covers as he tried to get comfortable. "I'm all for lying in bed all day but I can only handle so much of looking at the same thing."

"I concur," James said, raising his hand stiffly to agree.

"Stuff it, Prongs," Remus muttered, annoyed at his friends for refusing to tell him what had really happened that night. "Whatever you did last night, I am sure was not amusing."

"No, not really," Sirius said in agreement, hissing through gritted teeth. "But anyway, since we're all mates here, how about we don't dwell on the past."

Remus bit his tongue to keep himself from saying anything else. Sirius and James exchanged looks and Peter had...fallen asleep.

 **.oOo.**

Lily roamed the halls, pacing outside the Hospital Wing, trying to decide if she wanted to see Remus or not. Yes, she did but that meant having to see the rest of his friends, which just felt conflicting and too exhausting right now.

Instead, she decided to wait for Remus and catch him alone. Just as she was turning on her heel to walk away, Lily nearly ran right into someone else.

Flustered and a little embarrassed, Lily quickly straightened up to apologize. However, her eyes landed on the person before her, emerald jewels rising up to meet black pits.

"Lily…"

"Evans," Lily said calmly, correcting him smoothly. "Snape, can I do something?"

She was not blind. Lily could see the roiled emotions Snape was enduring. While he prided himself in his ability to disguise his emotions, she was always able to tell exactly what he was feeling. Perhaps that was just how close of friends they became before it began to plunge. And for an instant and maybe even more than a moment or two, Lily felt he regret bubbling up inside her. Half of her wanted to apologize to Snape and rekindle their lost friendship. But then the logical side of her always shut the idea down.

"No," Snape said, his voice suddenly cold, distant, and devoid of all emotion.

Lily could feel the ephemeral hope drain away as she took a step back. She merely nodded tensely, firmly looking away as if she had no more words she wanted to exchange with the Slytherin.

Snape seemed to have caught the message for he marched away ever so stiffly, keeping his head held high even if there was a definite droop to his step. Lily tried not to notice that either.

Lily walked up to her dormitory, kicking open her trunk with a deep set frown. The other girls in her room looked at her oddly but they said nothing, knowing when not to bring her sour mood up. Lily had her back to her friends as she rummaged through her things, bringing out an envelope of parchment, bursting from the seams of the envelope.

"Bloody hell, Lily," Marlene said, eyeing the thick stack of parchment. "What have you got there?"

"Nothing important," Lily said a bit shortly, leaving it at that.

She walked back out of the dormitory, heading right up to the Astronomy Tower. The Astronomy Tower was almost nearly empty at this time around dinner, so she was able to have a few moments privately. Lily pulled the box from underneath her cloak and set it down gently onto the floor. Unlocking it, she revealed the stack of letters she had received from a certain Potter over the course of six years.

Her fingers trailed over the letters, the handwriting, the signature that read James Potter. Tears pooled in her eyes and stung them painfully but she merely brushed them away, saddened but not sure why.

The day, for her, had gone by especially slow and pretty painfully as well. She just wanted her friend, because it felt like she was losing them all, one by one. She tossed the letters aside and sat with her chin in her hand, overlooking the grounds from the best view.

"Need some company?"

Lily whipped around to see four figures in the shadows and instantly smiled, unable to help it.

"Fancy seeing you here," she said, her smile only growing. "What are you doing here if I may ask?"

"Frank told us where we might find you," James said, fixing his glasses.

"And also mentioned you had a bit of a stuffy day," Peter added, shooting her a hasty smile.

"We thought you could use some cheering up," Sirius explained, folding his arms over his chest.

"So we came here to see how you are," Remus said, opening his arms.

Lily immediately went to Remus first, engulfing him in a warm embrace that displayed all of her gratitude to all of the boys. She brightened instantly, even laughing lightly.

"Thanks," Lily said, addressing them all. "That's really thoughtful.'

Remus gestured to the stools meant for the students to sit while star gazing.

"Shall we?"

The five of them made a circle out of five stools, sitting around each other. But they soon came to realize how uncomfortable the seats were and opted to sit right on the floor.

"How are you, Remus?" Lily asked then reworded herself. "How are you four? I know it was the full moon last night, Remus. So that explains you but...why were the rest of you in the Infirmary?"

"We had a long night if waiting for Moony, of course," James said. "It was...something."

"Tough but we can only blame ourselves," Sirius answered, gesturing to his bandaged wrist, the one Madam Pomfrey mended and wrapped for him.

"I thought we were playing the blame game," James jested, pointing at Peter with his thumb. "I thought we were blaming Wormtail!"

"Wait," Lily interjected, throwing up her hands and looking at them all in turn. "Wormtail? Prongs? Padfoot?"

The four boys froze but ever so subtly.

"Why do you keep calling each other that?" Lily inquired curiously, catching on quickly that those names certainly mean something significant to those boys. "You've been using those names for ages but none of us know what they mean."

"That's the point, Miss Evans," Sirius said very smoothly, not missing a beat. "They're names no one is supposed to get. You think we don't notice all the odd looks we get from people when we use our nicknames?"

That, Remus had to admit, was not a lie. They had noticed the way people stared at them whenever they would shout at each other, addressing one another with their nickname. Sometimes it made Remus a little anxious that someone was going to catch on but perhaps he was being too paranoid.

"That makes no sense, Black," Lily protested, her eyebrows knitting. "Do you lot have some secret cult or something?"

"A cult?" James echoed then chuckled. "Hardly."

"And anyway," Remus interjected, speaking calmly despite the awkward tremor in his voice (he always got anxious when lying to a good friend). "Since when do they ever like to make sense?"

"True," Lily muttered then sighed, leaning back on her hands and looking at the ceiling. "Sixth year has been exhausting."

"No kidding," James and Peter agreed together.

"So I wonder what will come of next year..."


	36. My Finale

**All rights remain.  
This will be the last chapter of The Marauders Sixth Year.**

"Books."

"Check."

"Quills."

"Check."

"Ink."

"Check."

"Scarf?"

"Check."

"All pairs of socks matched correctly and evenly."

"More or less check."

"Wait," Remus said, looking over his parchment and at Peter, who was rummaging through Remus's trunk. "What do you mean 'more or less check'? Don't I have all my socks together?"

"I swear on Merlin's grave you're missing a few socks," Peter mumbled, lifting up stray socks that never found their pair. "I dunno what happened to them but they aren't in your trunk."

"Bloody socks," Remus muttered, tapping his chin with his quill. "Can't we...oi, hang on!"

Remus felt a little _ding_ inside his head go off when he came up with a good idea. He whipped out his wand and pointed it at his trunk. With a wave and an " _accio_ socks", every single pair of socks sailed through the air, nailing him in the chest.

In short, it took an extra half hour to clean it all back up.

It was clearly not one of his better ideas.

"Spare parchment?"

"Check."

"Cards?"

"Check."

"Ties?"

"Check."

"Broom?"

"Check."

"Chocolate."

"Mmphff."

"Wormtail, chocolate?"

"Cheff."

Remus peeked over his checklist and glared daggers at his friend, whose face was currently stuffed with his favorite chocolate frogs. Remus stamped his foot and shook his head in disbelief.

"Really?" he huffed.

"I deserve something," Peter argued, pointing at Remus's wristwatch. "We've been at this for hours! I want a chance to say goodbye to everyone before the term ends! Why didn't you make James or Sirius do this?"

"Because they're prats," Remus stated simply and waved his wand impatiently. "Come on, we're nearly done. If you just stay on task we would be done by now! You waste so much time complaining."

"Fine," Peter going back to the sorting.

"Besides, you have the whole bloody train ride back to King's Cross to say goodbye," Remus mumbled.

"Oi, I think this is the first time since we got here," Peter said suddenly, breaking the barely lasting silence. He stopped what he was doing and looked up at Remus, who merely raised an eyebrow in questioning.

"This is the first time Gryffindor didn't win the House Cup!" Peter exclaimed. "Ravenclaw beat us by more than three hundred points. Was that even possible? We would have won if it weren't for those last few points Dumbledore sneaked in."

"And we lost the Quidditch Cup," Remus stated in a tone that left little remorse. "The Slytherins beat us by at least two hundred and fifty points the last game and Ravenclaw flattened us by three hundred points the next game we played."

"I know, I think James was trying to drown himself in the showers," Peter said, shrugging. "It's a bit of a sore subject so we probably shouldn't talk about it with him...or Sirius for that matter."

"He underestimated both teams and it cost Gryffindor victories in both tournaments," Remus said fairly, using his logical voice. "But yes, I agree. I don't think we should talk about it anymore."

"This year wasn't the best for Gryffindors," Peter said, shaking his head dismally.

"It wasn't the best years for us either," Remus said though he smiled a little. "Except for a few memorable parts."

Peter grinned back and the two friends resumed their duties until they finished; with their things packed and they were confident they had everything, Remus and Peter headed down to the Common Room, taking one last good look at it.

The Gryffindor Common Room was decked out in red and gold, the proud lion standing tall wherever it could. The table in the back looked like it had just been dusted and cleaned. The fireplace was free of ashes and the cushions on the couches and chairs looked fluffed and cleaned. The windows were sparkling, revealing the beauty of the Hogwarts grounds.

"I'm going to miss this place," Peter said, looking around with a slight longing look on his expression.

"Why?" Remus asked, confused. "You will see this place in three months, give or take a few days. You're only going home for the summer holidays then coming back. What's to miss?"

"I dunno, there just is," Peter said and began backing away to the portrait hole. "I just like this place a load. It's become a second home to me."

"I bet loads could relate," Remus said in agreement but put a hand on Peter's shoulder, gaining his attention. "But outside of Hogwarts there's even more, you know?"

"Yeah, I just dunno if ay of us really want to face what's out there," Peter said, speaking wisely without knowing it. "Would you?"

"No," Remus said truthfully, not even having to pause to think to the answer. "But there's very little one could do about it so there really is no choice in the matter."

Peter could not disagree there so he nodded with a one shoulder shrug. The silence fell over them once more before both headed out of the portrait hole and into the corridor.

"See you next year," Remus said to the portrait of the Fat Lady. "You'll still be here, right?"

"Of course," the Fat Lady said and shot the two boys a genuine smile. "Have a good break and enjoy yourselves. This will soon be your last year at Hogwarts. Cherish your memories herd, boys."

Remus found truth behind the Fat Lady's words and nodded his appreciation for her advice. They waved goodbye and headed down the stairs. There were some still lingering in the Great Hall. Most of them were seventh years crying and waving goodbye to one another. Remus remembered the Farewell Feast they had last night. Dinner had never been so emotional for so many.

Another thing was that everyone was aware of the rising threats, the increasing murders, the growing number of Azkaban breakouts. There was something fearful about being thrust into a dark world, a Wizarding World in which the violence never ceased.

"I dunno where to go," Peter said, breaking his thought. "Should we try and find the other two?"

"No, they can find their way to the Hogwarts Express," Remus insisted firmly, nudging Peter in the direction of the train. "They can figure out to meet us on he train."

Hopefully they would catch on.

Peter and Remus eventually climbed on board the Hogwarts Express, waiting for their other two friends to meet them there. It was well past a half hour before they actually did show up, but they were smiling all the same.

"What?" Remus inquired seriously, noticing the impish grins. "What did you do?"

"Nothing," Sirius said, mocking offense as he put a hand to his heart. "Moony, you wound me. I'm wounded!"

"For Merlin's sake, Padfoot, grow up," Remus scoffed, rolling his eyes albeit fondly.

"Speaking of Merlin, did you know the old codger used to comb his hair with his toes?" James joked.

Sirius and Peter burst out laughing in response, finding it way funnier than it actually was.

"I swear you lot," Remus said, shaking his head, "are no good."

"We are plenty good, my fair Moony," Sirius said, feigning fainting right onto Remus.

The sixth year werewolf grumbled and shoved Sirius off his shoulder, straightening down his clothes as he freed himself. Sirius laughed heartily and sloppily planted a wet kiss on his cheek.

"Bugger off, you odd ball," Remus said exasperatedly but fondly.

Remus, Sirius, Peter, and James were all sitting in their usual compartment, lingering about in the silence . The train whistle had blown and the train lurched forward, on its way to taking them all back home. Neither said anything for a long while, perhaps until the castle loomed out of sight, before Sirius interrupted it.

"So, Prongs, I really owe you, mate."

"What are you talking about?" James asked, eyeing his friend with a hint of good nature suspicion. The way Sirius spoke, it sounded like he was going to get an earful of sappy speeches about always supporting friends.

"I'm seventeen," Sirius explained, sounding casual and very nonchalant. "I don't need to depend on you and your mum for a place. My uncle gave me loads."

"So?" James said, still confused.

"I'm getting my own place," Sirius said, hands twisting in his lap a little. "I'm getting my own place in London. Not too far from your humble abode, Moony."

Remus's eyebrows rose but he cleared his throat awkwardly.

"I think I'm going to move out...so my aunt doesn't have to worry about me."

Going underground was something he always was planning on doing. Thankfully no one questioned where he was going to live for the next few months. However, it did leave the rest of the train ride a bit tense afterward.

The ride lasted a long while, taking them well into the night. By the time the train began to slow to a halt, the four boys were resting comfortably on one another, asleep and in their own subconscious states.

However, when one jostled, the rest jostled. Each of the four boys looked at one another as the students clambered off, grabbing their things as they departed the train. Life at that moment seemed to go by in a blur, a blur in which none of the four could fully remember in detail. The silence seemed to be the thing they focused on the most as they packed their things away and got themselves together.

James, Remus, Peter, and Sirius all looked at each other as soon as they hopped off the train, blinking as if they were each waiting for the other to say something. However, when no words were exchanged, Remus and Sirius were the first to branch off, nodding solemnly and splitting off in different directions. Not long after, Peter gave James a short smile before heading off to find his own parents, leaving James to watch his departing friends.

Without a doubt, so much could be said without making a sound.

The Marauders would return.

But maybe not in the same way.

* * *

 **The END.**

 **P.S The first chapter of the seventh year will be up shortly.**


End file.
